How to Deal with Dry Spells and Disconnects
This happens to me sometimes, and I know I’m not alone in it. I sometimes fall out of love with my practice. I get disenchanted, or lose my passion, fall into a slump, feel bored, get stuck…call it what you will. And it can happen in like, any and every area of my life, from my witchcraft or spirituality, with my writing, and even with tarot cards.
(Yes, I’ve gotten bored of tarot cards before!)
Dry spells suck. I start feeling mad at myself and questioning my competence at life and everything. And even when it doesn’t get that bad, it’s not fun to be unable to enjoy the things you used to love.
So, here are some things that can help!
• Take an honest look at why you feel disconnected.
I’m putting this one first, because it’s the least fun, but possibly the most important.
Are you unable to enjoy something because it just doesn’t work for you anymore? Maybe you’ve changed. Maybe you’ve outgrown it. Sometimes you reach a point where you honestly need to leave something behind. And it doesn’t mean that you’ve wasted your time up until now, or that what you did was useless. It just means that it’s time to let it go.
Another thing to consider is depression. If you think that depression may be the cause of your problems, then this list is probably not going to be enough to help. You need to deal with the depression itself and not just the symptoms it causes.
Consider your cycles. Some people naturally are just into things more at some periods than others. Maybe you feel more connected to certain deities in the winter, and during the summer they’re just not there. When you’re busy with school, you might not have the energy to devote to your usual rituals. I don’t write as much when I’m happy. I think certain things on this list can still help, but understanding where you’re coming from will make it easier for you to see how to fix it.
This doesn’t have to mean “go back to the beginning” although it can. I like to go back to my old favourite books – the ones I started on, the ones that hold some kind of magic for me. I reread the books that made me want to be a writer or that gave me good advice in the past. I use a familiar tarot deck. I revisit guided meditations and exercises from the past (lots of energy balls being formed and stuff like that).
My altar gets down to bare necessities. I pick up lapsed practices like regular prayers or doing a daily draw with my cards. I do all of the exercises in a book. I write stream of conscious journal entries every morning.
I suppose that it’s like rebuilding your foundation. And listen, if you’re re-reading your old favourite book and you realize you don’t like it anymore, don’t be discouraged! Take note of your growth and progress!
• Try something different.
If you do guided meditations and you aren’t feeling it anymore, try a different script. If you memorize them, try following along with a recording (youtube is good for this!). Maybe try a different method – focus on your breath for counts of ten?
When I felt lazy in both my tarot reading and my writing, I started doing tarot stories. It made me excited about both of them again, and I got better at both too.
Try different ingredients in your spells, or switch up the time or place that you work them. Rearrange your altar. Switch from your favourite tarot deck to one you don’t use as much, or try a different style (from Thoth to Marseilles, for example). Many of the items on my 19 Ways to Connect With Your Deck could be helpful here.
So, similar idea to the last one, but a bit more extreme. If you really aren’t feeling it with your tarot decks, switch to an oracle deck for awhile. Hey, take it even further and try a new system of divination completely, like a pendulum or dice. Maybe you could create your own system!
I spent most of the 7th grade writing poetry and fanfiction, because I just wasn’t happy writing novels. (It wasn’t necessarily good poetry or fic, but I enjoyed writing again, at least!)
Branch out, basically. Try some kitchen witchery if you normally stick to candles and incense at your altar. Try going out and exploring urban witchcraft or sea magic or whatever, if you prefer to normally stay at home.
If you can’t get your deity connection to work for you, then maybe you could work more with your ancestors. Switch genres for awhile.
You don’t have to be a master at something to pass along the knowledge you have. Just be upfront about your experience and your skill level.
Tumblr is a great place to put this one into practice, especially if there isn’t any one person in particular for you to help. Write a post on the way you conduct a reading or construct a spell. Post a video explaining a ritual or create a step-by-step guide on how to create a magical ink. (And then submit the link to supwitches so I can reblog it!)
In my experience, teaching can offer a buff to your own skills. There are lots of things I didn’t actually understand until I explained it to someone else. And often I will think of a way to get an idea across to someone unfamiliar with the work, and actually make it more understandable to myself in the process.
So I mentioned the idea of creating your own divination system and the last point was about creating something out of your knowledge to give back. Those are both helpful and fall under this as well, but there’s more.
Make your own tarot deck. Create ritual jewelry. Bake a cake. Print your poems and handbind them into a book. Weave an altar mat. Draw your main character. Cosplay your main character! Maybe you are a master at what you do and you can write a whole book on it.
Make something new and try to enjoy the process. And this isn’t about it actually being useful or anything – although those are benefits that can help! It’s about being able to appreciate something in a different way and having fun with it.
Do you have someone to look up to? Someone who inspires you and serves as living proof that It Can Be Done? I have a lot of them.
Ms. Graveyard Dirt was my witchy idol when I decided to put my own practice together (which I’ve mentioned before on my tumblr). It isn’t that we do the same things – we really don’t – but I was fascinated and inspired by her anyhow.
Holly Lisle is my writing idol. I don’t necessarily want to write in her style, but I love her books and I've learned a lot from her. She has a way of saying things that I just get, like she’s talking just for me.
Jonathan Hardesty and his amazing progress in skill has been the ultimate inspiration in art and just general wanting to improve at anything for me. And again – I don’t want to create exactly what he creates (although I certainly wouldn’t complain…)
It isn’t about copying anyone, trying to steal their work and pass it off as your own. I’m not trying to say that at all. Rather, it’s about being inspired and touched by what someone else does, in a way that makes you want to do better for yourself.
One person may not be enough, especially if you don’t actually know them. A group of people that you can relate to, get ideas from, and communicate with (if you’ve got the nerve for it – I often tend not to) can help.
There is a huge difference between struggling with something that you love alone, and struggling with other people, who have been there and gotten through it. Or might even be there now, as well!
You can reach out to people offline or online, and you can join mailing lists, facebook groups, and forums for just about anything. I prefer tumblr, because I have more control over who and what I allow onto my radar. Between blocking tags and words I don’t want to see and following only quality people, I’m usually pretty happy with my dashboard.
But there are drawbacks to this one, you guys. Other people can be pretty terrible. Communities have drama. And cliques. Bad, Wrong ideas will perpetuate because all the cool kids keep echoing/reblogging each other, and all the people who want to be the cool kids will jump on the bandwagon. And when the circle jerks start happening, you can feel even more isolated than you were before. (And woe betide you if you get on the wrong side of the wrong person…)
When it works, it works. And when it doesn’t, learn when you need to step back from it.
Speaking of! Maybe you just need to cool it for a bit. I’m really bad about burning out on something and needing to have a rest for awhile.
I like to take a pre-planned break. Like, “Okay, I’m not going to touch my tarot cards for two weeks.” or “I’ll leave this deity alone until the Summer.” You can do what feels right for you though, of course. For me, being open ended about something means that I’ll just get comfortable not doing it and never go back, haha.
Seriously, ask dumbledoreisdead, she’ll tell you all about Absence and the Heart.
This is usually my follow up to the last one. Before I take my break, I’ll arrange to have some big deal to come back to, because it works for me. But you can set yours up however you like.
It can be a ritual or a giant meal. Maybe you may plan to offer tarot readings to the public, when you’ve never done that before. I used Nanowrimo for this once. Anything you can make a big deal out of and go a bit over the top with what you normally do!
This is basically the opposite of the first suggestion. I like the book end feel of it!
If you’re in a situation where you’re really comfortable and familiar with your surroundings, then make yourself uncomfortable. Stretch a little. Move into something more advanced.
Read some heavy books. Take a difficult class. Find some way to challenge yourself.
Maybe it’s time to forge a deeper connection than the one you had before. And I can’t tell you how to do that, it’s going to look different for everybody. At the very least, it would be its own post!
SO YEAH. 10 or 11 (depending on if you count the first piece of advice or not) ways to deal. There are more out there, but these are some that I have personal experience with so I vouch for them. If you’re interested in more, try looking for methods to recover/rediscover lost passion. It’s something that happens to everyone and there’s definitely more out there written about it! Hopefully at least some of this will help.
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