[mosoli]

im still laughing at this

[just-shower-thoughts]

Have you ever wondered how many fictional characters you’ve absorbed into your personality

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

starbucks barista: ive got a caffe mocha for… “russian spy”?

everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]

barista [throwing his CIA badge at the floor in defeat]: dammit i thought for sure that would work

[nfkjfehlkfjlk-deactivated201806]

Memes that are funny in 2018 and 1958

[nitro-nova-deactivated20180206]

A new religious statue in the town of Davidson, N.C., is unlike anything you might see in church.

The statue depicts Jesus as a vagrant sleeping on a park bench. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church installed the homeless Jesus statue on its property in the middle of an upscale neighborhood filled with well-kept townhomes.

Jesus is huddled under a blanket with his face and hands obscured; only the crucifixion wounds on his uncovered feet give him away.

The reaction was immediate. Some loved it; some didn’t.

“One woman from the neighborhood actually called police the first time she drove by,” says David Boraks, editor of DavidsonNews.net. “She thought it was an actual homeless person.”

That’s right. Somebody called the cops on Jesus.

[xekstrin]

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Since you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.

[fucking-meatball]

“Why are you in Hell?” “I called the cops on Jesus.”

[memehumor]

Swipe RIGHT

[thecybersmith]

Be honest though, the temptation to remove her other arm would always be there in the back of your mind. Symmetry has an undeniable appeal.

[thejediguy]

[nochillmemes]

[33v0]

what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too

[33v0]

look at this shit

They radiate peace

[lizardsister]

capybaras are friend shaped

[gaylor-moon]

I love this post

[cantavier]

This is actually a cool thing I know about!

In the wild capybaras live in large groups so naturally a female capybara will take care of not only her own offspring, but all of the other offspring in the group. So capybaras are super great mothers who will adopt pretty much anything and take care of it.

Lots of places that rescue different animals will give a group of baby animals to a capybara to raise if they have one.

Like puppies

Ducks

Deer

Emus

They are just super calm animals so they’re naturally great at mothering or just existing in a group!

[screambirdscreaming]

mom shaped

[bnmxfld]

[stream]

Van Wilder (2002)

[stability]

im so tired but ill probably be awake until 3 am for no reason

[just-shower-thoughts]

‘Go to bed, you’ll feel better’ is the human equivalent of: ‘Have you turned it off and on again?’

[2-shane-s]

Date someone who will date you

[methfall]

Need me a freak like that

[ate-wapakels69-deactivated20170]

Aliens but they take shit too seriously

Human: the day i run a marathon is the day i die.

Alien: *makes note to keep human away from marathons*

Weeks later

Human: Just got back from a marathon!

Alien: *SCREECH*

[pinkfloydd]

expose him

[just-shower-thoughts]

The only thing that’s worse than being ignored by the other gender is being ignored by automatic door sensors

[just-shower-thoughts]

Somewhere in the world is a tree exactly your age.

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

Growing Up German

Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher

Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories

Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you don’t have to go to sleep

Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt

Benjamin Blümchen Cake

Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass

“Fisher Fisher how deep is the water?”

“Don’t throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!”

“Charlie Chaplin went to Frankfurt…”

A depressed bread called Bernd

Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English “th” properly

Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele

“My grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.”

Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town

“cat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happy”

“Space Taxi to the sky!”

“Now in every 7th egg!”

“Get [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!”

Is it der, die or das Nutella?

Having friends in other states is difficult cause they’ve got school holidays when you’re still in school and vice versa

“Of course with the Mouse and the Elephant”

[official-german-medienlandschaft]

• Spielegalaxie!

[honigimkopf]

• „alles ist alles ist relativ normal“ schloss Einstein everyday at 14:10h