The blessing and curse of the internet
I wrote this in Feb 2020 soon after getting to know @tiffay644revj. Both our blogs, with 10k+ followers each, have been since deleted. Our lives have changed a lot since, but what I wrote back then still rings true today, and reading it still makes me feel nostalgic.
So there's a girl I met on tumblr and we're become close in a very short time. Recently I happened to fly over her part of the world. It was late night out and as I sat by the airplane window looking down at the dazzling cities and tiny flickering towns slowly roll by, I found my thoughts drifting to her as they do all too often... I kept wondering if one of those tiny dots of light belonged to her window... I kept thinking if she grew up in a big city or a tiny nondescript down... How was her family life? What school did she attend? Was she a popular girl or mostly kept to herself? Was her childhood happy? and as I was thinking about all these things, a sadness filled my heart at the realization of the distance between our worlds... Even if I was right over her house in that moment, we will always be physically separated even if we share our time and have a close bond.
I'm generally a positive person. I see life as glass-half-full. I'm thankful for getting to know this incredible, smart, kind, beautiful, sexy woman, someone I would have never known existed had it not been for tumblr. I am thankful for the time we spend talking, getting to know each other. I am thankful for the way she makes me feel every time I see her message pop up... but I will never know her little quirks that she herself doesn't realize. I will never know if she runs her fingers through her hair a certain way or what her laughter sound like. I will never know the warmth of her touch or the intimacy of her scent. I will never get to touch her, feel her heat against my body, or her fingers curl into my hair... I will never physically feel her passion, share her sorrow or bask in the warm fuzzy glow of her affection. I will never know the feeling of her wrapped around me at night or how her lips might feel on my forehead... such is the blessing and the curse of the internet.
I didn't know how long I was thinking of her or how long I had been crying. At one point I became aware of hot tears rolling down my cheeks but I made no effort to stop them... I just felt a sense of loss for something I never had. Looking back, I think this special someone deserved my tears as much as she deserves my thoughts and fantasies.
At the end of the day, I just want her to know that somewhere far away is a silly girl who is thinking of her, cares about her and roots for her. She is perfect and I think I love her.
@kittenstiredmom
