time to find ourselves @time-tofindourselves - Tumblr Blog

frog boy

In the Spring with an open window

Nothing compares to the sublime smells of the night.

It smells like nectar, each minute from a different blossom, each waft from a different tree.

And the paced song of birds, the sound of a live forest, that during the day is concealed by the city.

I got to start learning a healthier way to deal with new worries. Did I just binge-scroll IG to get my mind off of thinking I got a bug or am I just procrastinating my inexistent healthy sleeping habit?

A location where you are deceived into a place in the past, that place being the memories in your mind, the only place your degrading mind allows you so see and makes you think you see clearly.

What is the meaning of life, what is the meaning of this journey, will we survive the journey? Will we make it out of the tunnel of 50, 60 years with the same vision or with ever rusting mind’s eye?

It saddens me deeply to see these people, hulls of innocence while their insides tighten their grip, while they are unaware that time has passed.

What will I remember? What will I see?

Ever since I’ve seen what they told me - I will never be the same.

#alzheimer #age #time #life

Grrrrrhh. Fuming at the sight of the puppet president.

Hi

maybe it’s time to start a diary. Perhaps continue the diary? Follow my original intention of keeping a diary.

I think it’s important to write down my thoughts. We come up with ideas and we live through our own experiences in our unique perspective. I esteem myself and find that a way to honor myself is to keep track of my thoughts.

I don’t know if I’ll be persistent and carry on regularly. Nor do I know if this is the medium I will stick with.

One thing I have to learn to do is to shut off distractions. I can’t focus on what I’m writing.

I don’t feel so good with myself. Which is counterproductive because the contrary is what I need to feel better about myself. I don’t feel like I can make myself work, study, do something that I consider productive. These past 3 to 4 days I’ve felt like I want to stay in a rut.

Maybe It’s the effect that I have perceived in the past. That I manage to be a productive person, do the things that I set my mind on, which requires effort and concentration and discipline. And I try to be cautious so that I don’t “scare it away”. But at a certain point, after a few days my discipline simply completely collapses and I fall back into that mindset of wanting to be bratty and roll around in my bed with my hand and eyes glued to my phone. I don’t like it, but “I can’t change it” (is what my mind says). I’m not strong enough to get out of it.

Maybe I haven’t had life experiences of pushing through in this way, nor examples that were revelations for me of this idea.

Here I am, (too) many years later, still wanting to change, not having seen much of that in my past.