Maybe my problem is that even though I say I dont need approval, I really do.
I dont need someone to approve of the way I look. My ungroomed hair. Mismatched outfit. Shoes that are tattered to pieces.
I dont need someone to approve of the way I act. Singing in public when everyone is looking. Moving lazily while my shoulders are fixed in an awkward slouch.
I dont need people to approve of the way I sound. My shrill voice falling flat on harmonies. My laugh getting stuck in my throat. My tone coming off as too abrasive.
But I do need approval on how I feel. I need approval on my moral reasoning. I need approval on how give love, and how I receive it I need approval for my will, approval to act or pursue any gut feeling. I need approval to be me on depths much more elusive than the surface value.
I need to love me.
