Timothy swallowed as he signed his name to the bottom of the piece of parchment. The Slytherin folded the paper and sealed it inside of the envelope before placing it under his stepbrother's pillow. The graduation ceremony would be starting soon, and so would Timothy's mother and stepfather. Not for his older brother, but for him. He wouldn't be there to see Damien at graduation or Zamira or Eden. He probably would never see them again and he took a moment to bury his face in his brother's pillow and sob before he was picked up by his parents.
Dai,
I’m not good with words, so this will all probably come out as shit, but I’m afraid that this might be the last time I ever get to speak to you. Mum and your dad are coming to pick me up sometime today during graduation ceremonies to take me to get the birthday present I should have received a while back. This means I won’t get to see you graduate or celebrate with you and Zamira or even Eden, and I hate that. I hate all of this. I don’t want to be a Death Eater anymore. I don’t want to hurt people. I don’t want to kill people. I just want you. That’s all I want. You.
I know you’ll find this and wonder why I didn’t tell you that they were coming. The truth to that is that I couldn’t. I would have told you, but I knew you would have done something stupid to try and get me out of it, again. When your father first sent the owl to me a few weeks ago telling me when they would be coming to retrieve me he made sure to add a nice long section about things he would do to YOU, not me, YOU if I told you or anyone else. Knowing you you would have said bring it on, only if it meant protecting me, but I had to protect you. I don’t care if you say I’m not supposed to do that and it’s your job to protect me not the other way around. We are brothers, We protect each other and I will never let him do such horrible things to you as he said he would have.
After tonight I will be one of them. I will be among the Death Eaters, going on missions, torturing and killing people. I can feel my body shake when I think of it, it makes me physically feel ill, and the only time I feel that way is when I think of losing you. Maybe it makes me feel that way, too, because I will be losing you. Your father also mentioned in the owl that next year I wouldn’t be attending Hogwarts, I’m being transferred to Durmstrang, and I’m not to leave, even on holiday. The only exception would be for missions. I could always sneak away to see you, and I swear I will try, especially for the wedding, but if I get caught I know that he will come after you to punish me.
When I am a monster please don’t just see me as that. Please see me as the way I used to be. The way I was when you loved me.
I think they will be arriving soon, so I will make the rest of this quick.
I’m proud of you. You’re always so down on yourself all the time, but you are so fucking amazing to me. You always have been. Your art is amazing and fuck our parents for not believing in you and thinking you’re amazing too. Fuck them for using us to hurt the other. Fuck them for making either of us feel like we were less than the other. Fuck them for tearing us apart.
Finally, I love you. I’m so in love with you.In a dream you said we weren’t going to have sex because it wasn’t what either of us wanted, and you were right. I don’t want that with you, I never have. Still, I love you more than anything or anyone in this entire world. I want to be yours. I want to spend my life with you, but I know that isn’t possible. You will marry Zamira and i will become a monster. Just please never forget how much I love you. How much I am in love with you, and even after I have the Dark Lord’s mark, you’re the one I will always belong to.
Timmy
