Tinder Nation, A/S/L

People who will inevitably end up on your tinder feed, and reasons to swipe to the left.

[tindernation]

I am more disturbed by the fact that you poop with your pants on then the fact that i am imagining you pooping before I've ever met you.

...flush to the left, to the left.

[tindernation]

OMG! I am so into trust funds, but also you. You is smart. You is kind. You is important. Let's just get married... without a prenup.

[tindernation]

You are just too damn segsy for me.

...to the left, to the left.

[tindernation]

Nice try, but you are not tricking me into having anal with you. Even without a pain in my butt, it is still a no.

...to the left, to the left.

[tindernation]

Okay! All these sneakers and you chose to wear that on your feet. You look like a boss of these shoes -- put a pair on for a picture. Oh wait, were you showing off your toes?

Either way, to the left, to the left.

[tindernation]

Tinder in a nutshell: tiger -- check; skydiving -- check; ancient Peruvian sites -- check!

[tindernation]

Sir, I just can NOT with you! First off, you look like an asshole.  That's a given.  You did not need to sit contemplating how big of an asshole you are because you already know.  You have made the conscious decision to pose in front of someone's foul-mouth, defaced holiday snow mirror. Gross.

To the FAR left, to the FAR left...fast. 

[tindernation]

Okay...so, I'm just wondering, are you trying to get a date or confessing to a sex crime? Is this a self portrait or a courtroom sketch? Your tactics confuse me.

....to the left, to the left.

[tindernation]

What ever happened to the traditional hello? I mean, most of us aren't at our most interesting at 1:30 in the morning, but does your shitty overthought pick up line ever work? Like EVER???

...should have swiped a la izquierda, izquierda

[tindernation]

The only people worse than people who take bathroom selfies are people who actively search out other people's bathroom selfies and use the "face in a hole" app to expertly execute profile pictures like these.                       To the left, to the left.