GRIFFIN VOICE: I ALSO WANT A BIRD KING AU
FEAT: TAAKO, KRAVITZ, SOME CORN CHIPSÂ
here are some facts about the bird king:Â
 the ravens in neverwinter are feral, not wild.
the bird king does not exist
the ravens in neverwinter fly in a great dark mass south every winter and nobody knows where they go.
the bird king is a story for children
birds donât have a king. thatâs not how birds work, obviously. ravens exhibit a social hierarchy where strongly bonded breeding pairs at the top of the social ladder are able to jointly disrupt interactions between loosely bonded individuals. The key word here is pairs.
the old bird king is dead
here are some facts about taakoÂ
taako doesnât know his age, but that doesnât matter for elves very much. Taako never had anyone to tell him his age. Him and Lup make guesses.
taako lives in neverwinter with his sister in a fourth floor walkup and they argue over whose turn it is to take out the trash, but most of the time they like each other very much. She has a fiance. He used to be Taakoâs friend, first.
taako hates his job. this does not make him special.
taako spends his free time with his friends. They go on little adventures. They take weird roadtrips. They babysit the kid next door, which is technically Taakoâs job but what Angusâs parents wonât know wont hurt them, and besides, boardgames are better with more than two.
taako isnât unhappy, per say.
Sometimes Taako talks to the birds that land on their balcony. Thereâs a large, glossy black raven who likes landing on the windowsill and stealing corn chips from Taakoâs fantasy fritos bag. âOnly cause youâre pretty,â Taako says. âCaw,â the raven says, and Taako laughs, because the bird sounds like a person saying âcaw.â Â
here are some facts about kravitzÂ
kravitz has lived in neverwinter his whole life except for during the half of the year that his flock is charged with ferrying souls to the underworld.
kravitz is only sometimes a raven. Sometimes heâs a handsome young man buying his own fantasy fritos at fantasy cvs with coins he took from dead mens mouths, but he always disinfects them before passing them on to the cashier.
Other times kravitz is a large, glossy black raven who sits on the hot elf boyâs balcony and steals the hot boyâs corn chips and says caw.
Kravitz is very fond of the hot elf boy. The hot elf boyâs name is Taako, which he knows because sometimes his sister or his friends will call for him. Kravitz likes perching on Taakoâs windowsill and saying caw, and listening to taako talk about his day. Taako has a lot of friends. Taako still sometimes seems lonely.
kravitzâs mother could be the new bird king, if she wanted. but his mother says that âbeing the bird king is a young personâs jobâ and âshe has her hands full being the avatar and embodiment of death itself already,â and âgo talk to your other mother about this.â Kravitzâs other mother says âwe donât need a new bird king,â and âdo you want to be the bird king?â
kravitz would like to be the bird king.
here are some more facts about the bird kingÂ
the bird king is a symbolic position, more or less. the bird king leads the flock.
the old bird king died because he was murdered by his other half, which really put a cramp in the idea of having a bird king for everyone.
the flock is starting to tear itself apart, though, without the bird king. there are factions splitting. perhaps in six months, there wonât be a flock.
death will continue, sure, without the bird king, without the ravens. but there will be no one to guide the spirits to kravitzâs motherâs domain.
kravitz thinks he would make a pretty good bird king. but kravitz is young, and kravitz is alone. the only thing kravitz has on his side is his lineage.
becoming the bird king, kravitz realizes with horror, means that at some point, he needs to ask a boy out.
here are the steps to ask a boy outÂ
 first, figure out which boy you want to ask out. Kravitz thinks most of the other ravens his age are dumb, and he doesnât know anyone else, except for the hot elf boy who feeds him chips.
the way through a young birdâs heart is through the stomach: kravitz is very fond of taako, who feeds him chips.
kravitz doesnât know what the next steps are. taako probably doesnât want to be the bird king with kravitz? taako doesnât even know he is the raven who steals taakos chips.
maybe kravitz can use this to his advantage? maybe kravitz can seduce him. kravitz will ask the boy on a date and the boy will swoon because kravitz has brought him⌠what do boys like?
kravitz buys flowers, a family size bag of corn chips, and a bag of chocolate and then takes one look at taakoâs front door, chickens out and goes to brood on taakoâs balcony as a bird. âCaw,â he says sadly. âAw, sad bird,â Taako says, and offers him a chip and leans on the balcony, andâ
âthe balcony railing snaps and Taako goes tumbling over and Kravitz is darting forward and transforming mid-air into a handsome young man and grabbing taako to cushion his fall. They land heavily in the bushes.
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