u heard me

this is tumblr user iamatinyowl and now i post weird nonsense here too

[valilihapiirakka]

the classic Finnish mix of extreme dutifulness and “we will make actual conversation after a silent interaction trial period of 6 weeks, thank you” can be really funny sometimes. told my coworker that I’d like to save the coffee grounds the workplace generated and take them home “for my mushrooms and worms” and she was just like “okei” and dutifully saved every single grounds-filled filter for weeks and weeks. about five weeks into this whole thing, after I thank her for the coffee grounds and tell her my worms must love them because they’re breeding very enthusiastically, she finally asks “so your worms… do they have a purpose or are they just… worms”. like sure I’ll save you all these coffee grounds every single time I drink coffee, 3+ times a day, but god forbid I inquire about your specific worm habits before propriety allows it. you could be eating them for breakfast for all I know but that’s your business

[valilihapiirakka]

this post has been up for so long I’m at a new workplace now, and here’s a new one: someone finally getting a close enough look at the jar of homemade nut butter I’d been using to make snacks for days (in a reused jar, still with the pesto label on it), realising the contents were not as advertised, and saying with poorly concealed relief “ai!!! you weren’t spreading pesto on bananas!” like she’d been quietly dying inside the whole time but had grimly committed herself to never ever presuming to ask wtf was going on

[valilihapiirakka]

#I mentioned to a coworker how my friend had mailed me some goldfish and I was so excited to eat them#and she labored under the misapprehension for days that I was consuming actual real fish mailed all the way from America#before one day I brought some for lunch and she was like ohhh these are crackers!!

congrats, this is so cursed and the best addition someone has made to this post

[frogginbloggin]

you guys sure like frogs, huh

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

its illegal not to, actually

[horseshoecrabluvrr]

JUST LOOK AT HIM

[frogginbloggin]

he’s so sweet………… sweet man………………..

[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[starlightandtears]

Coconuts have only been in the Caribbean for 500 years. They just….floated on over from Asia and took root. That’s…hilarious.

[borntomezmer-deactivated2021011]

Wait really? I always thought they were if not native at least brought over on purpose

[starlightandtears]

Right??? I’m watching this nature doc and when the narrator said that I nearly spit my drink giggling. They’re remarkably buoyant and just bob their way to a new shore. So carefree. Truly a fruit destined to be in the Caribbean.

[thisisnotacatblog]

are you suggesting coconuts migrate

[bogleech]

REMINDER: the part of a comb jelly that looks like a mouth is in fact a mouth

[bogleech]

Turns out I do need to clarify that these particular comb jellies are actually not filter feeders :)

these are also the true actual first animal group that’s ever thought to have existed; comb jellies or ctenophores are survivors from the *ediacaran,* the point in time where we can’t even guess what kind of animal most of the fossils are. But, maybe all of them were just wacky shaped comb jellies???? we will never know. this one ate them all.

[bunjywunjy]

CTENOPOG

[worsening-bad-comic-art]

[queer-as-city-folk]

So do people realize that we aren't building new train tracks when we expand the amteak network, I have multiple times seen people say that we shouldn't expand the network because it would destroy protected lands, which would be a fair criticism but Amtrak doesn't build new tracks, we use existing tracks. We are not destroying protected lands, we are using land that has already been clear for a century

[queer-as-city-folk]

Also the alternative is more highways which destroy significantly more land for less capacity than railways. So the question is do you want to keep complaining about something that isn't happening and let the environment get damaged as a result or do you want to actually learn how things work

[catboymothman]

So, wait... Were the tracks not in use at all? Or was it like *only* commercial transport on those tracks? Either way, its good that amtrak will be able to use them again, but one would be much more frustrating

[queer-as-city-folk]

Almost all rail tracks in the US are either abandoned or only used for freight rail at the moment

[mudkipspropaganda]

Jesus, we really have no excuse for having such a lackluster rail system, do we?

[queer-as-city-folk]

Sure we do! The US government hate both rail and you personally

[memewhore]

[ramdomcitizen]

A dad joke and a haïku? What a treat.

[inkskinned]

when i was 12 i babysat this girl for a few years and she would come to me and show me her art, drag me by my wrists and point at the pieces she’d made during the week. and she’d be like “do the voice” and i’d put on a sports-announcer olympics-style voice and be like “such form! this level of coloring! why i haven’t seen such perfection in crayola in a long time. and what is this? why jeff, now this is a true risk… it seems she’s made … a monochrome pink canvas…. i haven’t seen this attempted since winter 1932… and i gotta say, jeff, it’s absolutely splendid”  and she’d fall back giggling. at the end of every night she’d check with me: “did you really like it?” and i’d say yes and talk about something i noticed and tucked her in.

she was just accepted into 3 major art schools. she wrote me a letter. inside was a picture from when she was younger. monochrome pink. 

“thank you,” it said, “to somebody who saw the best in me.”

[tinyowlnonsense]

[lakevida]

honestly dude i don't think you could even lead a horse to water

[time-schwime]

oh, the plot hole?

that’s there for……ventilation

[incandescent-creativity]

Me, poking holes in my plot to let the characters ive trapped in a cup breathe:

[ryderdire]

I fucking love repetitive lines that change meaning over a piece of writing yes slay

[prokopetz]

“Every friend group needs a mom friend” no, absolutely incorrect. What every friend group needs is that one person who “just happens” to have a traffic cone on hand.

[writing-prompt-s]

Produce an emotionally moving one-sentence story.

[meltedbartsimpson]

hot dog fall out of bun directly into storm drain

[catchymemes]

[undeadhousewife]

My dad was an aviation engineer and used to spray paint his tools the most obnoxious hot pink he could find. Not only did it make it easy to find his tools, but the amount of guys who wanted to use them went down drastically, and they always made sure to bring them back to my dad so they wouldn’t be caught with pink tools.

My dad always got a kick out if it, and to this day a good chunk of his tools at home are a beautiful shade of hot pink.

[gomjabbar]

it’s really funny how many people on here make jokes about anti-vaxxers and flat earthers but they practice astrology at the same time even though it’s literally the same pseudo-scientific bullshit

[aviculor]

Looking up your horoscope doesn’t give kids polio.

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

ohhh my god i need enrichment soooo baddddd....... someone PLEASE throw something strange and new into my enclosure!!!!!