Tired Millennial

thoughts | poetry | quotes | photography

[tiredmillennial]

Issues

I'm a stupid woman for thinking I could walk away without getting attached to you. This has been my life, clinging myself to men who had no intention of sticking around. I learnt this from a young age. Not from lovers, but the one who was supposed to love me most. My father. It's a fault I cannot shake. I look for that love in every man I see. I'm not sure what it is or how it feels but it doesn't stop me from trying.

- RC

[tiredmillennial]

I could carry this anger around with me

Have it weigh me down day to day

But instead I choose to take the pain

Use it like ink and put it to paper -

Make something beautiful out of it.

- RC

[tiredmillennial]

I am going to build a fortress around my heart,

Adorned with thorns & wildflowers.

In hope that a brave & mighty soul will take on the challenge in strife.

Seeking past the damp darkness

Lulled by the cry of what was once a warm beating heart that had been shattered by cowards & fools.

Seek this heart, lay out the pieces & ignite the flame of love again.

- only exists in fairytales

[tiredmillennial]

I search for love in all the wrong places

Try so hard to make something from nothing

Focusing on a love that wasn't meant for me

Tearing myself to pieces when it all falls apart.

I blame myself for being un-loveable

When in reality, there are so many parts of me to love.

I know loving me is complicated and terrifying but I am worth the journey.

For now, I will go this journey alone.

Searching for the love within myself and not the shells of broken men.

- RC

[tiredmillennial]

What is the hardest part of my day?

Every day I go past what once was our home.

I imagine you laying there comfortably, at peace. Resting your mind and your body.

What is sleep anymore?

Rolling in bed from side to side, aching from my core, leaking out from every pore, drowning myself in my salted tears.

It's cruel but I wish for you to lay awake thinking of me.

Are you thinking of me?

That empty space beside you that I once occupied, does it effect you?

Do you feel anything?

I am everything.

I am the heart, the passion, all the emotion.

Here I am broken and torn.

I am all the lost pieces of puzzles with no home and no purpose.

No purpose to you anymore.

I remind myself.

It was never 'our' home.

It was a temporary space for me to occupy.

A temporary space for me to help me heal your pain, your regret, your inability to feel and to love.

I was just a bandaid for a lifetime of being emotionally unavailable.

You felt.

And you left.

Fuck you, I left.

I am gone and I don't ever want to come back.

- rc

[tiredmillennial]

[tiredmillennial]

When 'I love you' tastes like poison on your lips that is when it is time to let go.

- RC

[tiredmillennial]

Where did you go?

I miss you more than I should, more than you deserve. But I don't know if it's you I miss or the man I thought you were. - RC

[tiredmillennial]

I gave you my all but that was too much for you to hold on to. I hope it was worth it because I was ready to give you my forever

RC

[tiredmillennial]

I’ve spent too much time asking myself what went wrong when I should’ve been looking forward, thanking the stars for the beauty it laid before me.

- rc

[tiredmillennial]

I gave you the sunshine & in return you sent the pouring rain.

- rc

[tiredmillennial]

Sick to my stomach with delight.

I want to hide in the deepest darkest corners of your mind. I want to know your ugly thoughts, the ones we all have but pretend not to.

Give me your worst. Cause baby, I assure you my worst is no place you’ve ever imagined.

- rc

[tiredmillennial]

black hole.

I use to see the stars in your eyes but now all I see are pain and lies. 

- rc

[tiredmillennial]

I knew it would end.

This is the man I want to spend an undefinable amount of time with, whether it be a day, a week, a month, years or until the day that I die. So many of us have placed a timeline on our relationships and that’s where we get in to trouble. “We are going to be together forever.” Why? Because if it ends sooner than it was “suppose” to we blame ourselves, our hearts left broken, failed within these restraints. I will love this human for as long as I can, with as much love as I have to offer. And if it ends, at least for that time we spent together I gave them all I had to give. This is the love I wish to offer the world, who I am I now, in the present. - rc

[tiredmillennial]

poetry saved me.

I rediscovered poetry when he broke my heart.  I thank god for the beautiful words strong women share with the world, through their pain, love and wonderment.