i'm a bi/pan submissive, pet and roleplayer from the u.s. west coast. this is a sideblog of my main blog heartsnhandcuffs -- please read my pinned post there before messaging me. yes, i'm interested in roleplaying.
don't ask for irl pics, video, calls, etc. or i'll block you.
Not-horny posting but I think my least favorite part of this side of Tumblr is how many posts have random aggressively flashing gifs or like seven of the same spiral in a row. Even filtering by text posts often isn't enough to avoid them.
If I wanted to look at aggressive flashing I would simply buy a strobe light.
Concept: Your tist temporarily brainwashing away basic skills and motor functions to curb unhelpful behaviors. Doom scrolling through the news for hours on end? Fine, no more reading until you learn to moderate what you read. Always on your feet? Fine, no more walking until you've rested. Never shut the fuck up? Well, now you will. Indefinitely.
Ah-ah, no whining. You're not an independent person, remember? You don't know what's good for you. You need to learn to be reliant. Now, just lie down and relax. You'll feel so much better after your ability to think is taken away.
I'm a good hypnoslut I have a blank suggestible mind I agree easily I accept my conditioning I am a good hypnoslut being hypnotized turns me on ibhave abblanlsifgetible mondb I agree easily I accept my conditioning iam a goodhypnoslut
"...aaaand all the way up. Welcome back, how're you feeling?"
Hana's head whirled with the familiar fog of amnesia, that gentle, unobtrusive don't think too hard about it that she'd by now learned to associate with imminent surprises. She didn't feel particularly strange, aside from the usual post-trance sluggishness, but by this point she'd learned how that meant absolutely zilch.
"I feel like..."
-49, 48, 47-
The numbers didn't interrupt her thoughts, they were just sort of... there. Hovering in the background the way things normally hover in the background of your mind: I'm a bit chilly, tomorrow is the big day, I should buy milk. It felt a little bit like reading them, a little bit like hearing them, but mostly like her thoughts themselves felt: indistinct, conceptual. Except that it hadn't felt like her thinking them.
"What the hell was that?"
-46, 45, 44, 43, 42-
Her hypnotist tried to remain aloof and unreadable, even succeeding for a second. Then they cracked a smile that widened into a grin, then into wild uncontrolled laughter, body shaking with some private amusement, dark hair bouncing up and down. She sat there, stunned, until they calmed down and spoke at last.
"Aha, darling, you know how you can never resist having the last word? I figured I'd have some fun with that impulse. As I'm sure you figured out by now, you get fifty words to last you the rest of the day - forty-two now - and once you get to zero... Actually, you can find that out yourself whenever the moment's there. Before lunch, if you keep going at this rate."
Her mouth had already opened by the time she bit back the instinctive retort. Okay, so that was the game. Fine. Easy, even. She'd been caught by surprise there, but now she understood the rules. How hard could it be to only talk when absolutely necessary?
"Now, did you understand all that or should I use smaller words?"
"How stupid do you think I-"
-41, 40, 39, 38, 37, 36-
"You fucker!"
-35, 34-
She shut up.
"Oh, don't go quiet on me now, I -did- still ask you how you were feeling. It's my job to check in on you, you know."
This time the impulse to snark didn't come. She took her time to decide what she'd be saying, teasing out emotions from the conflicted mess inside her stomach, converting them into language, compressing all that to a carefully-budgeted handful of words.
"...Frustrated. Impressed. Reflective."
-33, 32, 31-
"Very well said, dear. You're so much more thoughtful with your word choice than you normally are! Thirty-one left, right? Good luck holding on to those."
-----
The rest of the day was like a strange, quiet version of their usual hang-outs. Having lunch. Doing the dishes together. Playing that board game they'd played a hundred times. Sometimes her hypnotist picked up the slack in conversation, launching into long rambles that didn't require much in ways of interaction. Other times, they were simply both silent. Hana hadn't ever quite realized how much there was an expectation to speak, or be ready to speak, whenever you were with another person. Now that had been taken away, everything seemed... easier, almost?
The countdown was still there, of course, and over the course of the afternoon it steadily ticked down. Sometimes she'd get tricked, slip up, and lose a few words, instinctively responding to anything from "Hey, Hana?" to "So why isn't Green Lantern part of the Avengers, anyway?".
Other times, she was forced to talk. Her hypnotist made her verbalize her entire takeout order, with no small amount of sadistic glee, and for one moment she'd been tempted to forgo her favorite just to be able to order something with a shorter name. She didn't, though - chả cá lã vong was just too good.
Even so, by the end of the day, there were twelve words remaining. She felt proud. She'd made it through. For all the fun that she admitted she'd had along the way - first and foremost, she'd been playing to win.
They'd gotten ready for bed without incident, and as she crawled in, she flashed the biggest, smuggest smile in her arsenal. Reveling in her victory didn't require words.
Her hypnotist, somewhat concerningly, was bearing some cryptic smile. A vague sense of worry crept into Hana's mind, like there was something she'd been forgetting, something really important and-
Her hypnotist snapped their fingers. The response was immediate, words jumping from her mouth like it'd been spring-loaded, the whole movement of tongue and lips no more voluntary than when you close your mouth to swallow.
"I'm your toy."
-11, 10, 9-
Of course. Of course. This was so their style.
"Well, dear, it would seem I did not just put in that countdown this morning. It took some restraint, not using it sooner, but I'm sure you're happy I could control myself. Though I'll confess I initially imagined I'd have to use it more than four times."
She glared silently. A part of her, both resigned to her defeat and defiant to the end, proposed throwing out a string of epithets and going out on her own terms. Before she could decide if she wanted to do that, her hypnotist spoke again.
"Now, I think we both know what's going to happen here. You are so adorably sensitive to countdowns, after all, and this one is happening directly inside your own head. You're already a little fuzzy, aren't you? And it's only going to get worse as we start counting down more."
Anna did not recognise any of the other girls she was waiting with.
She figured they might be from other departments or something like that. The company was pretty big. Or perhaps they were new? She didn’t know. They didn’t seem the sort of girls she’d ever be friends with though, this she did know. Vapid. They were all in a huddle giggling about who-knew-what, leaving Anna on her own.
And she still didn’t know what any of this was about.
Serious thought was being given towards just getting up and going when a man finally came in. The other girls shushed immediately and sorted themselves out into a proper row rather than a huddle. The man smiled at all of them.
“Sorry I’m a little late, you know how things are,” he said.
The other girls giggled again, for some reason. Anna looked at them sideways.
“So yes, not to waste any more of your time let’s get right to it. You’ve all been picked for a reason, and that’s why you’re here. We went over your performance and decided that you girls would be perfect candidates for a new reward programme we’re trialling.”
The other girls seemed excited. Giddy, even. There was even more giggling. Anna wasn’t sure. She raised her hand. From the look the man gave her he clearly hadn’t been expecting questions. He still pointed at her though.
“Yes?”
“So what are we actually going to do?” Anna asked.
“That is an excellent question. I could probably try explaining it to you but it’d be much easier if I could just take you through and show you all, you’d get it much faster. So if you girls would like to follow me?”
-
The girls knelt, staring ahead. Eyes blank, fixed on the screens in front of them. Some were already drooling a little. Anna was trying to focus. She was the only one trying.
All of the girls were in collars, and nothing else.
If any of them had been able to keep track of time, they’d know that it had been two days since the training for the reward programme started. They might have been able to remember how it started, too. How they’d all been led from the room they’d been waiting in, taken to an elevator none of them had ever actually seen before on the other side of a locked door, and to another room with thick, soft walls, where they had sat down.
They’d all been given a glass of water and the man with them had sort of just talked in circles without really saying much of anything at all until he’d seen that each of them had taken at least a few sips before saying that a proper explanation would be in a video that had been prepared for them. The other girls cooed because videos were fun. Anna was feeling quite sleepy and was still very confused what any of this was about, but videos weren’t so bad.
And so all the girls had looked at a screen set into one of those soft, padded walls and the screen had blinked and then flashed and then started to explain it to them. Not that they could remember, really. Not that it mattered.
The screens were all individual ones now, one for each girl, the better to monitor their progress. It was expected that all of them would adapt to the needs of the reward programme at the same pace, but it paid to be sure with things like this. The girls needed to be perfect for the programme.
Each girl’s collar had a leash attached, and each leash had been clipped just below the screen they were helplessly staring at. The leashes hung, limp. None of the girls were trying to get away.
Obviously, none of the girls noticed the two men coming into the room. One was the man who had led them here in the first place, the other was his immediate superior. The first man showed the second some readouts and some progress reports and other important but tedious details, and then the pair of them went to have a proper look at the girls.
“Coming along very quickly,” the second man said, proudly. The first man nodded.
“Psychological profiling the company did showed us these girls would be especially receptive. So far, they are.”
An especially loud groan from along the line of girls caught their attention.
“And who’s this?” The second man asked, arriving at the source. The girl was panting heavier than the others, eyes still fixed ahead but not quite as peaceful. The leash clinked against the collar as she shivered.
“This was Anna, but she’s going to be designated number three.”
“Number three?”
“You can get attached to a number, but not as easily as a name.”
“Alright. And how is number three doing?”
“To be honest, we’re having the tiniest trouble with Number three. None of the others really resisted at all and slipped right under. She isn’t resisting the programming, but it isn’t taking as easily as it is with the other girls. Watch.”
And he reached in past her and unclipped the leash from under the screen and gave it a tug towards himself. Anna, obeying the instructions already deeply-drilled into her head, turned to him, knelt up, and put her hands behind her back and spread her knees apart. Not fast enough, though. Her head was swaying.
“See the hesitation?” The first man asked.
“Not very big.”
“There shouldn’t be any. We made sure to pick the girls very specifically for this. Anomalies happen though. It’s why they get individual conditioning, so we can correct for it. I’m not concerned though, watch. Three, stand, Follow.”
Anna obeyed. Wobbly on her feet, sluggish, but she still obeyed. She stood and she followed the man as she walked to one end of the room and then to the other, past all the other girls, and with the other man watching. There was a slight stiffness to her walk, and once or twice she blinked and seemed to try and focus, only for it slip away again. She mouthed something, but it was silent.
Even when the man put a hand between her legs. Even when he slipped a finger in, then two. She moaned of course, and stood still for him, but there was still something there. For one moment she even tried to meet his eyes. She couldn’t, but she tried.
“Three, kneel,” the man said, arriving back where he started. Anna dropped back to her knees and resumed the same position as before, docile as anything, blank and obedient. But not quite right. It was more obvious now.
“I see it,” the second man said.
“Don’t worry, we’ll fix it, up her dosage and maybe give her a little extra conditioning until she’s the same level as the others. They’ll all be ready in time for the launch.”
“Excellent.”
It wasn’t very far away, after all, and they had promises to keep.
-
The deadline for the launch approached.
The other girls were already in a limited trial-run of the reward programme, presently being handled by testers. Their obedience was absolute, their old minds gone. The testing was mostly to see if there were any unintended side-effects or contradictions in the new commands that had been laid over the girls they had been before.
There was a testing area set up, a facsimile of a typical office floor - desks, partitions, plastic plants, whatever. The testers would take the girls by the leash and lead them around and put them through the paces they might be expected to face when the programme started. Getting their leashes clipped to desks to be blank and obedient cockwarmers for whoever was sitting there. Getting bent forward over desks and fucked. Getting bent backwards over desks and fucked. Getting told to kneel and play while the man holding the leash did something else.
All the girls performed perfectly. Mindlessly. Eagerly.
Anna, however, was still holding on. Barely. And so she was receiving specialised treatment. Gagged and blindfolded they’d largely done away with the screens and were now focused on audio reinforcement - a synthesised copy of her own voice, repeating the words they knew were now filling her head:
-do not resist do not disobey the man holding the leash is master your owner you will comply you will obey feels good to obey cannot resist obey the leash obey master owner sir he holds the leash he controls you he commands you obey no thoughts just the leash do not resist do not disobey-
Her brain was mush. Any idea of who she was or what was happening had gone days ago. If she’d tried to speak, she wouldn’t have been able to. Constantly wet, constantly horny, she was barely recognisable as the girl who’d been called to that meeting however many days ago with the others.
But she was holding on by the tiniest, tiniest thread. She couldn’t understand why. She wasn’t even really aware she was. There was just something stopping her from finally giving in and accepting only the conditioning and nothing else. It made her squirm and wriggle, which was why they’d had to strap her down like they had.
The man who’d introduced all the girls at the start watching her, frowning. He turned to the man beside him, holding a tablet.
“Layer in secondary conditioning,” he said. The man nodded and tapped a few things and a second later Anna groaned again and strained briefly against the straps before falling limp again and settling into low, helpless moaning. Other words now filled her ears as well, alongside and around the words that had been there before. She couldn’t shut it out.
He had to admit, despite her being a problem he was starting to get a little fond of Anna. The other girls had folded so easily and been wiped clearly with so few issues it had been hard to form any sort of attachment. All the special attention she’d needed meant that he’d spent a lot of time with her. He’d used her a lot too, obviously - it was part of the process - but he realised he’d become personally invested in making sure she was a good fit for the programme. Her resistance was a concern for him.
They’d tried her in the testing area with the other girls and she’d started out promising, but she’d quickly shown signs that her conditioning wasn’t fully settled in. She’d even tried to speak to the tester holding her leash. It was why she was where she was now. If problems persisted, well…
Before he could consider what the last-ditch options for Anna might be, an assistant came up to him.
“Yes?”
“We got the wrong girl,” the assistant said. The first man blinked, and tore his eyes away from Anna to look at them.
“We did?” He asked, looking at the files the assistant was shoving in his direction. Both for girls named Anna. One was his, the one he’d got so fond of. The other was another, different Anna.
“Both called Anna, similar surnames,” the assistant said, a little sheepishly. The first man shrugged and handed the files back. Oh well.
“These things happen. Got the other one?” He asked.
“Oh yes, she’s going through induction now.”
The first man nodded. He was watching Anna again.
“One more never hurt. We were thinking of expanding the reward programme anyway.”
“Already?”
Given it hadn’t actually started yet. The first man shrugged again.
“Demand’s been high. Just planning ahead.”
-
The leash was taut, wound around his fist. Anna was on all fours. Her head was pulled back, mouth wide, eyes rolled to the whites. Her cunt squeezed around him as he came even as she didn’t, milking every last drop deep into her. Both of them stayed like that a second, though it felt a lot longer, and then he grunted and relaxed, letting the leash down and letting her head drop. He pulled out. Anna stayed in place.
The man, the first man, the man who’d taken a shine to her, gave the leash a light tug.
“Three. Clean.”
Immediately she turned around and took him into her mouth, cleaning himself and herself off of his cock. She was so eager he could have sworn she was trying to get him ready to go again.
She was still a good girl - a very good girl, in fact - but she wasn’t quite good enough for the programme. She’d do as she was told but she wouldn’t do it to the standards the programme called for, or so they’d said. All that had been done to her couldn’t be undone though, so she’d just been sent home with him. Not strictly the formal way of dealing with it, but no-one minded. Anna certainly didn’t.
Or number three, rather.
When he felt she’d done enough (and she would have kept going) he told her to stop and to reset, which had her kneeling again on the bed, back in position, eyes front, chest out. Default position.
He thought he’d try something.
“Anna?”
Nothing.
“Anna?”
Not a twitch. He snapped his fingers in front of her face. Still nothing.
“Three?”
Her ears pricked and she knelt up a little straighter, eyes still blank and ahead but clearly ready.
He wondered whether he should tell someone about this. They’d given her to him on the assumption that she was a lost cause beyond proper conditioning. Was this a sign that maybe she wasn’t? That she could actually be finished and be put into the programme - just like the other, actual Anna had? Should he take her back in again?
The tiniest flicker of something moving caught his eye and he looked down. He saw a thin trickle of moisture running down the inside of her leg as she knelt there, trembling. He saw a drop fall from between her legs and land on the tiny (but growing) damp patch on the bed that hadn’t been there before she’d started kneeling there.
He decided no, he wouldn’t tell anyone. It was probably nothing anyway.
That's all you really want to be. Mindless, compliant and wet. That's why you keep coming back to my words over and over, allowing them to seep into your thoughts each day, reminding you what you need and what you are. Mindless, compliant and wet. Even now your mind struggles against this phrase, looping in the back of your mind, shaping your thoughts, making you mindless, compliant and wet. With every repetition you feel the phrase grow stronger, consuming more of your thoughts, until there's nothing left and you're just mindless, compliant and wet.
"…oh, ummm… hi, Lee." It was the tone in Ellie's voice that shocked Lee as much as the lewd, lascivious act she was performing right there in the middle of their shared dorm room; Lee had shared space with the other woman for almost two full years now, both of them too busy in different social circles to form a real friendship but at least getting along with each other, and she knew what Ellie sounded like when she talked. She didn't have any of the stereotypical breathy vapidity most people associated with blondes, even if she did have the kind of body that made people underestimate her intelligence and overestimate her interest in wild, uninhibited sex. But now….
Jesus, now she sounded like she had barely two brain cells to rub together, and Lee could literally see drool running down her chin to soak her exposed cleavage. Which was probably a good thing, because there was a guy fucking her tits right now with vigorous abandon, not even bothering to pause his huffing efforts when Lee walked in, and he probably appreciated the extra lube. And Ellie didn't even look like it occurred to her that any of this was strange. She just looked at Lee with a barely comprehending stare, let out a vacant giggle and babbled, "I, uhh, it's so nice, Lee, I told them you'd like it…."
And perhaps if Lee had just a tiny bit more presence of mind, she might have noticed the most important part of that sentence first. But she was still caught up in shock at hearing her dormmate sound so utterly vapid and ditzy and dumb, and she was still stunned to see the kind of sex act she'd only ever heard about in descriptions of porn, and she was still wondering why Ellie was wearing pink fluffy kitty ears and a powder blue collar, and so it was only when the door swung shut and the man waiting behind it stepped forward to shove something onto Lee's head that she realized there was a fourth person in the room. But by then it was far, far too late.
Because the moment the headband slid down through her long black hair to press against her scalp, Lee felt her thoughts beginning to get disordered and confused. She reached up to pull it off, instantly connecting the stupefied sensation clinging to her mind with the item both she and Ellie now wore, but that connection faded away into dull, vacant incomprehension before her hand could even come up to shoulder height and she stood there, dazed and bewildered, trying to remember what she was doing and why. Then the collar went around her throat, and the fog in her brain deepened and magnified until it was a genuine relief when the man behind her murmured, "Why don't you bend over, honey?" and she at least had some kind of guidance to follow.
He pulled down Lee's shorts and fingered her pussy, and Lee felt her cheeks flushing with arousal as she stared at the porn show in front of her and pushed her hips back against the stubby digits inside her. Her lips parted in slack-jawed fascination, mesmerized by the sight of the cock disappearing and reappearing again and again from between Ellie's big tits, and it didn't surprise her a moment when she began to drool on Ellie's sheets. It was just too hard to think, and too much fun to get horny and fuck, and she sighed in sweet satisfaction when the man behind her finally sank his cock into her soaking cunt and began to rut.
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My bleary eyes opened slowly as I drifted up from a gentle sleep. The bed was oh so warm and soft beneath me and my dreams were calling me back into their embrace. But as much as I wanted to just snuggle into the warmth and let my eyes slip closed, I couldn’t help but notice I wasn’t in my bed, and wasn’t in my room. All I could see was a deep pink color and for a while my tired mind simply could not comprehend this endless pink world I found myself in. Finally I blinked the sleepiness from my eyes and realized that I had not in fact been transported to a gentle pink reality that simply went on forever and ever in every direction, but that the bed had a pink canopy that hid the rest of the room. But where was I? The question should have been more alarming, but my mind felt foggy and slow, and the bed was just so cozy and comfortable…even thinking about how nice the bed felt was caused me to sigh and relax, my eyes fluttering shut just for a moment…then another…then another…
No. I forced my eyes open once more, it was time to get up. I pushed the soft warm blanket off of me and gasped as a freezing sensation fell across my body. Even as I scrambled to pull the blanket back I began to feel numb from the cold. The moment it was over me again, the cold receded and was replaced by such a lovely warm glow. I let out a soft moan as my body relaxed back into the bed, heavy eyes fluttering shut once more. It was unbearable, unthinkable to leave this lovely feeling behind. And yet something felt wrong, something I couldn't quite place…where am I? My muddled mind tried to work through the question but it kept drifting off as sleep threatened to take me. I scooted about under the blanket, unable or unwilling to leave its comforting embrace again. At the edge of the bed I stuck a hand out to push aside the pink curtain and found...a pink room. Or perhaps not, I saw a lamp that seemed to bathe the room in a gentle pink light. The room seemed ordinary enough, but I still didn’t recognize it. I felt an uneasy feeling in my gut that my drowsy mind couldn’t ignore, I had woken up in a strange place…and I had no idea how. I steeled myself and with the blanket still wrapped tightly around me, let one foot dangle over the side of the bed. When it touched the floor it felt like stepping onto a sheet of ice, I quickly retreated the probing foot back into the safety of the blanket. I curled up into a ball, and I wanted nothing more than to just lay my head back into the soft pillows and let everything drift away... But no, I had to do something. That worried feeling in my gut was stronger now, as though I was running out of time. Wrapping the blanket around me like a cloak, I pulled myself off of the bed and cried out as my feet touched the floor again. The rest of my body was safe and warm in the blanket, but I felt an unbearable icy numbness in my feet. It took all of my willpower not to simply leap back into the bed again. I stumbled away, and nearly fell into a full length mirror. I caught a glimpse of myself, I looked so silly wrapped up in the blanket, my hair was a mess and my eyes looked so heavy and tired. I knew I should try to leave, but I just felt so sleepy right now…maybe I could lie down for a bit and then leave? That seems like a good idea…I shook my head vigorously, trying to chase the drowsiness away. I knew there wasn’t time for that, I had to leave before…before…something. I made my way to the door. But while I was preparing myself to reach a hand out to open it, I heard a sound from the other side. I froze and listened…had that been a different door? Opening and closing…now there were footsteps, they got louder and louder until suddenly the door knob was turning, the door was opening. I was momentarily blinded by the bright daylight that came in, I covered my face with the blanket…then slowly lowered it and looked up.
Standing before me was a tall woman with long dark hair dressed in casual clothes. She looked down at me, eyes tracing me for a moment, then she smiled
“Why hello there darling, how are you feeling?”
Her voice made me feel warm and soft, my fuzzy brain slowly pondered its way to an answer
“I feel…sleepy…”
She giggled, stepped into the room, then shut the door behind her. I let out an involuntary sigh of relief as the light dimmed again.
“If you’re so sleepy, why’d you get out of bed silly?”
It was a good question and while I was considering it, she reached out and pulled the blanket down off of me. I braced myself in anticipation of the unbearable freezing cold…but I felt nothing of the sort. In fact the moment she touched me to take me by the arm, everything from the top of my head to the tips of my toes felt warm and comfortable again. It felt especially nice where her hand gently held my arm, and I found myself leaning into her as she led me back across the room. She stopped to toss the blanket back onto the bed, and I got another good look at myself in the mirror. I noticed I was wearing nothing but a long pink nightgown. But it wasn’t mine…not my bed, not my room, not my clothes…I was so confused. She led me to a small table and sat me down. The warm feeling remained when she let go and sat across from me, the table already had two tea cups set out and she poured something into both of them. Then she stirred something into one the cups before pushing it over to me
“Drink up sleepyhead”
I did, the drink was sweet, I quickly finished the cup while she just watched me smiling. When I was done I set the cup down and a sudden question came to my lips
“Who are you?”
Her smile widened into a grin and she reached across the table to tuck my hair behind my ear
“It’s so lovely that you don’t remember…we’re making so much progress!”
She gave a light laugh and slid her thumb down my cheek
“It’s so cute that you couldn't get rid of the blanket…and you barely made it far at all this time! I was over an hour late and you still didn’t make it out of the room. Absolutely adorable"
I blinked slowly, feeling more confused than ever
“This time?”
“That’s right dear, the last time you made it to the living room, and the time before that I found you in the foyer! Its so funny that you don’t remember at all”
As she spoke I felt things coming back to me. This wasn’t my room…not my home…it was hers. She had taken me here…and she was…she was…who was she?
My eyes were drawn to a logo on the vest she was wearing. It was familiar…suddenly I knew it was the logo of the restaurant that I worked at…the restaurant we worked at…she was my coworker! Icy fear gripped me as my memories slowly returned she cocked her head as if sensing the change
“Oh? Something coming back now darling?”
I leaned away from her, terror filled me and dispelled the last of the drowsiness.
“You…you took me! What…why? Why did you do this to me?”
Her eyes seemed sad for just a moment
“Why? You were just so tired all the time darling, that’s why. Everyday we’d chat in the break room and you’d tell me how exhausted you were with work and life and all that nonsense…so I decided to save you. You don’t have to worry about any of that anymore, no more stress, no more problems. Just my precious sleepy princess, from now on”
I was shaking my head
“But…but what if I don’t want that!?”
Her grin returned
“That’s the best part…it's not up to you anymore. Nothing is. Isn’t that lovely? Now tell me dear, since your memories are coming back…can you recall exactly how I first took you?”
The memories were flooding back even as she spoke them, it had been a long day and I was exhausted. We were getting ready to go home and she offered me something to drink… and then...
I looked down at the empty tea cup and then back up at her. She just smiled.
I tried to stand but found my hands were too numb to grip the chair. then it started It spreading up my arms. I tried to move but my legs didn’t respond, I would have toppled out of my chair if she hadn’t reached out to keep me upright. Soon the numbness spread up to my neck and head and I was completely paralyzed, propped up in the chair only by her gentle grip on my arm.
“I’m sorry darling, but I’m feeling confident that this is the last time I’ll have to use that on you”
She was still smiling, she reached up to her neck to pull at a chain, and took off the necklace she was wearing
“Now that you seem to be remembering things, let me ask you, do you remember your new favorite color?”
She lifted her closed fist over the table between us. A teardrop shaped gemstone fell from her hand and dangled in front of me. It was a pretty pink stone, and it sparked in the light as it swayed gently from side to side. I found my eyes instantly locking on to it.
“Hmm it seems to you do remember…just let yourself melt for me now darling”
Even as I tried to resist I could feel it, the pink stone filling up more and more of my mind as all my fear and anxiety was pushed out. That familiar warm sleepy feeling was filling me up again...
“Shhh just like that, so easy for you now. So effortlessly you slip right back down. I know you just want to go back to bed where you belong, but first we have to do a little more work on that sleepy head of yours. Just let all those pesky thoughts slip away again…”
I remembered how lovely it felt just to listen to her, how to just take in her words and internalize them without thinking about them at all.
“Such a good sleepy girl, deeper and deeper let those gentle clouds fill your mind as you listen and obey. You are mine. You are a precious princess who wants nothing more than to doze and dream so prettily in your bed. It feels oh so soft and warm to obey, and so cold and hard when you don't. It's just easier to obey isn't it sweetie? that's right everything will feel wonderful as long as you just listen and obey. Soon I’m going to put you back to bed, and its going to feel so wonderful darling, that you'll never want to leave. And when you drift off to sleep again, you’ll forget everything for good this time. Your past, your name, who you are. it will all be gone for good, all you'll remember is me, this room, and how lovely it feels to be my precious sleepy princess”
She put the necklace back on, and pulled me to my feet. I dimly realized that the drug had already worn off. I thought about doing something, about running for the door. She led me back to the bedside and I prepared to make my move, I would shove her back, and run for it. It was my only chance…I had to-
She gave me a gentle push, I leaned forward, my hand resting on the bed. Suddenly the room seemed unbearably cold, and I was so so tired. Before I knew what I was doing I was on the bed pulling the blanket over me again. Whatever my plan had been I could try it later...it would never work when I was all sleepy like this anyway, I needed to rest first…it was just so warm and comfortable here. As my body sank into the mattress I felt oh so drowsy. I barely noticed the shifting beside me. I noticed she had undressed and gotten under the blanket with me. After a gentle kiss on the forehead she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me gently. I thought back to when I had first woken up, that feeling that something was wrong…now I knew what it was. I had been alone. I nuzzled into her neck, and drifted off to sleep
“Okay, dear… focus on the metronome. Watch as its arm swings back and forth.”
Your eyes obey without hesitation, drawn to the steady, rhythmic motion in front of you.
Tick… tock… tick… tock… Each sound slices through your thoughts, breaking them apart piece by piece, until what’s left is too small to matter.
You hear my voice, soft, soothing, whispering in your ear. You know I’m speaking… You know I’m saying something… But it doesn’t matter. All that matters is the metronome. The swing. The sound.
You don’t care what you’re agreeing to. You just do. It feels natural. It feels right. And so you keep going, eyes locked, mind quiet, obediently empty. Because the only thing that matters now… Is the ticking.
The moment the metronome stops… your mind stops too. Like drifting into space, no sound, no world, no thoughts. Just silence, just stillness, just an empty shell.
Words reach your ears, images flicker before your eyes, your body moves, responds, obeys, but none of it registers.
The ticking was your tether to awareness, and now that it's gone, so are you.