dundun dun @tiuredo - Tumblr Blog

btw i highly recommend developmental psychology and positive psychology! That definitely brought me full circle with understanding myself and life situations and get out of survival mode lol.

Now onto the hot goss! In 2019 i met a guy thru work and he captured my interest based on his actions. I tried getting him to notice me but the most we would do is eye contact and smile at each other lol. So eventually i confessed to liking him and so began our long complicated but wonderful journey. Too much fuego + me being unmedicated and in survival mode during covid made things bad at times. But to put it shortly we had this incredible out of this world connection that i’ve never experienced before and bc i had a lot of unresolved issues they came to the surface with him and inevitably pushed him away. We went back to being friends and became roommates and it was the best thing ever, but despite being platonic we were really drawn to each other.

Anyways being his roommate was also the worst thing ever bc of 1) his gf and their complicated rel and 2) his friendship met my emotional needs so i didn’t notice that the relationship i was in at the time was lacking/had red flags. We were even closer while living together but eventually he moved out with his gf cuz she didn’t want to live with us, and shortly after we had a falling out bc i was taking my insecurities out on him and aggressively pushed him away to the point of him blocking me. We didn’t talk for years and in that time i had recurring dreams of us reuniting and went thru the stages of grief before finally accepting he wasn’t going to be in my life again, and grew and healed overall as a person in the process. Last year i apologized for how i treated him and wanted to rekindle the friendship but his gf wasn’t comfortable with that so we didnt

A few months later (a week ago lol), he added me on his only social app but didn’t say anything yet. he did something similar when we first met. I thought it was a trap bc i thought he couldnt talk to me cuz of his gf but after a couple days i reached out but no answer. Then the next day i overheard my roommate (his best friend) while they were talking otp, apparently he’s going to sell his current home that he owns with his gf due to water heater issues and they’re each going to move back in to their own parents’ house (ie live apart) to save for a house. Currently packing/moving out at that. I think he’ll reach out once he’s moved out since his gf goes through his stuff sometimes

While i dont know anything about his intent without actually talking to him (and fully understand it could all just be coincidences and he just wants to be friends) i do know him well and i suspect he talked his gf into this living arrangement bc its the only way we’d be friends again (this man has been thru hell to keep me in his life in the past lol) and while it’s possible he really does just want us to be friends i can’t help but get the feeling he wants more and is using this time apart to gauge if we’ll work this time, since they won’t be financially or domestically entangled anymore it’ll be easier to end things. I’m not gonna entertain any cheating but i will be his friend and go from there. I just want him in my life point blank, anything else is a bonus lol. I’ll get my answers soon tho and keep an open mind he’s definitely my one that got away :)

i feel like mist of the time i just occupy myself with other things but it doesnt resolve whats wrong it just makes me ignore it for the time being

i just dont have any words for things rn i just hope it goes away

gotten into the daily routine of crying before bed 😂 i feel like i'm just floating through life rn and i mean that in a bad way. it's surreal except when im taking it all in

old notes 01/13/15 ugh...tbh no like i'm not used to ever having to make the first move but thats another thing i appreciate the guy not forcing his dominance bc they'd take advantage of that!! and like i kept waiting until he would tell me that he liked me bc i had a good idea he did but i wasnt 100% sure bc ya know...human error and the fact that he'd started talking to me less and less yet whenever we did talk that 'i like you but don't know what to do with thise feelings' vibe was still there but anyways i waited but got impatient as usual (it doesn't help that he takes 7 decades for any and every task) and just thought what the fuck why not i might as well tell him i like him and just never talk to him again instead of keeping my feelings unexpressed and waiting on him bc it was a lot a lot of struggle and worry like i spent like every 3 am for at least 3 weeks asking people on whisper to interpret him and our situation...shit i still do it i don't undastand this Hoe...anyways i've never had to look for outside help when it comes to boys like i'm so offended i can't understand him or rather his logic tbh actually the stupid cum dumpster even told me he probably wouldn't have said anything bc quote on quote he didn't know how to bc quote on quote have i looked in the mirror but anyways i prefer the guy to lead the way in emotional regards so i know they're not trying to fuck me over but i like to lead in other areas i like to hold the bacon in front of the fat boy while he tries to chase after only ever getting a whiff of it...occasionally getting a few crumbs and grease...basically i like to keep things interesting for amusement and enjoyment of both parties anyways i told another guy that i know likes me that i liked him and while i still believe i have a polyamorous soul i don't like him as much as i like marker tbh i haven't liked anyone like to that extent since 7th grades bc all these years its been a game of excitement and numerous 'who cares' etc. i think i just really liked incessant flirting but anyways yeah not to mention i've matured a lot emotionally

old notes 01/13/15 actually idk why i'm trying so hard it doesn't help. oh nm its bc i like you a lot but i'm sorry for wasting your time. we've been talking since octoberish right? anyways i think you just like that i like you and not me. i know how someone who likes someone acts and you give me mixed signals like you care a little just bc you're nice but you dnon't feel the same way anymore but that's okay omg idk if its my tendency to see the good in people but anyways you're a very beautiful boy both inside and out and don't let anyone make you think otherwise including yourself okay? also thank you so much for letting me know you. goodbye marcus ugh!! idk i don't actually wanna say bye but i feel the need to do something drastic thats what i do when i feel inner turmoil bc like. i like you and idk if you like me idk what your motives are with me but. i know that i deserve more attention but if i can't get that from you then i know that i need to move on bc i can't continue to feel this insecure about something like your feelings. what would you say if i said goodbye nnn!! this thing stresses me out bc like. my feelings are a smooth chill current and sometimes theres lil rocks here and there...but you're a boulder and my feelings are stopped there bc idk what to do omg nobody is literally busy 24/7 especially a high school student like this'll be the least busy we'll ever be in life lmao what would you do if i didn't like you? do you still like me? then why don't you act like it. it's not normal how you can go so long without even saying hi like if it weren't bc i was buggin like crazy, when would you have hit me up? like i know my worth and honestly i'm not a crack whore to be beggin for a man's attention. if i don't get the right amount of attention then that means its my time to leave bc i refuse to be unappreciated like that i want you to tell me how you're feeling about all of this. the way it seems to me is that you don't care and therefore it's not affecting you correct me if i'm wrong are you distancing yourself again bc you're afraid of getting hurt? if anything you're the one that has the power to hurt me and you have but not severely. i can't hurt someone who doesn't care to begin with but i can't hurt someone pointblank i refuse to wait any longer i wanna have this discussion right now so i can finally have peace of mind and leave you alone and the reason i say that is bc i need (not want) to remove you from my life. unless you tell me your side of the story and decide to truly fix your ignoring habit instead of fixing it for a week and slipping into it again. while emotionally i don't want to say goodbye bc i like you so much, logically i can't take this kind of treatment or lack thereof any longer bc it destroys the respect i have for myself as a woman and person in general bc no one person is so busy in their 24 hr 7 day weeks that they can't even send a single text to check up on the other person. i shouldn't have to hit you up first when you were the one that left me hanging. i know when guys are 'busy' it's bc they're trying to avoid feelings or intensifying them. are you distancing yourself from me just to avoid getting hurt? in turn you're hurting me though.

old notes 01/12/15 i just want you to be more considerate of my feelings i'm not asking for commitment i know that'll be hard on your end but just please be open with me i love straightforwardness like if you start liking someone else i'm okay with that just tell me. you're still a friend to me before you're my crush you feel me? and i'm very resilient i can handle bad news i just can't handle being left in the dark with no idea whats going on thats what hurts my feelings bc i hate not being in the know it doesn't allow me to appropriately tackle situations and move on from them instead it makes me dwell on it i hate that i also want to know what you want from me do you want my commitment? do you just want my attention? i need to know what you want first and foremost bc i'm willing to compromise and work something out whereas if i were to say what i wanted it would influence what you'd say bc you'd probably agree to it even if you don't necessarily love the idea .

old notes 1/11/15 😪 hopefully im tired of not knowing and i know my worth i'm being lenient with him giving him more than one chance to change that dumb habit is bc i genuinely like like him and he might be inexperienced but once its established decide that he doesnt like me he will be dead to me in the romantic sense and i will move on and like every other dummy he'll hit me up like a week later trying to get my attention and he'll continue to send me something periodically to make me curious but i won't catch the bait. the reason i'm so insistent on him is bc i want him and objectively think he'd be good for me plus the whole ldr thing is romantic to me!! those are just a few reasons but he really has so much more to him anyways when i want something i try my all to get it but if i can't get it after my all then thats that i move on.

some of these notes for him i got to say. but really a lot of them were a result of me thinking about him all the time so i'd write down my worries/thoughts that way when he did get around to talkibg to me i wouldn't blow my chance and be stupid. and instead tackle our issues but it was all in vain now im deleting 100+ notes about this hoe 😂 im putting it on my personal bc although i feel ready to let it die its important for future me to read this whole blog and remember the shittiest year so i can learn from my shortcomings and also see my progress

old notes 01/11/15 we have to address the fact that you continue to avoid certain questions and that when we talk, everything resolves itself and then like a week later i'm back to having the same issues you keep saying that 'that isn't it at all' but then you don't say what it actually is why do you only talk to me when i hit you up? in what universe is it ok to not reply to someone or check up on them for two weeks? merry christmas and happy new year btw. and why haven't you asked me to call you or skype youor anything? how long did you think just texting could really go for i just don't get what you're doing. actually let's talk about your past relationships bc in reality i don't have a clue how you've treated girls you fancied in the past. i'll tell you mine if you want i know what i'm worth and i know i deserve more attention i hope i meet rich ppl in college i want them to invite me their balls i love fancy parties i love dressing up man idk i just think if you truly like someone wouldn't you want to talk to them all the time? it's just not normal to not talk to someone you allegedly like for that long...you have to understand both parties require an adequate amount of attention. if you give too little attention, it hurts and ultimately drives the other person away or drives you away depending on the sitch. if you give too much attention, it hurts you and drives the other person away. the middle is how you keep the person and you from getting hurt and how yall can be a lil more chill just tell me if you still like me or if i should move on but i'm guessing you don't though bc i've been nothing but insufferable but it doesn't give you the right to keep me believing that you do when you don't

old notes 01/10/15 whats your opinion of me? tell me what you think like give me nothing but the whole and honest truth i promise you i won't get mad i just need to know. and i'll tell you my opinion of you too the pros and the cons but i'm sure you don't really care what i think lmao. also tell me if i mean anything to you and what my name is. i'm really serious like tell me what you like and don't like about me if i feel you're holding back of course i'm gonna get annoyed but so be it. i think you have trust issues but honestly you have more power to hurt me than i could ever have, if i have any power that is, so don't be afraid to be straight up bc you know very well i'm not afraid to be straight up with you ok...it really isn't just me thinkin you're mad sketchy and trust me i've tried my best to be sympathetic but it's kinna hard when you're going on no basis. like. idk what to say to you so prefiero abandonar el barco como tu no quieres. honestly who am i to be begging a guy for attention i have like 2 oz of dignity left at this point lmao... idk what your deal is maybe you don't understand girls/you're emotionally immature, maybe you have a gf, maybe you lost interest but are afraid of being direct about it, maybe you're just not big on texting etiquette or texting in general, or maybe you're legitimately busy which i find incredibly hard to believe bc last year i juggled an 8hr school day plus two online classes plus a saturday college class which i dropped plus that volunteering thing for like 5+ hours on weekdays then a restricted social life and i'm not gonna lie it was stressful and made me want to die bc i had a b in chem but i still had time to talk to people or at least drop them a reply once a day no matter how disgustingly tired i was anyways the reason i wanted you to stop ignoring me is bc to me it didnt seem at all normal tbh? or maybe it was coincidental who knows but i wanted confirmation that you actually liked me...and weren't just attracted to me...i mean either you're extremely forgetful or you don't respect me pointblank. but maybe i have like this god given talent at victimizing myself but honestly why would you like me all guys want is to fuck and when that isn't possible the next best thing is nudes but you sure got lucky bc this dummy enjoys nudes and genuinely enjoys sexual things but she also enjoys being emotionally satisfied but who ever cares about that but that's fine bc i'm capable of being detached and i'm capable of being inconsiderate of other people's feelings and that's enough to get people hooked on me see, part of your allure is that i don't understand your logic at all and before it was amusing trying to figure you out but now i feel overall bad and you feel harassed i can imagine as a really open person idk how to get thorough answers from you bc to me it seems as though i have to badger you in order to get a semi satisfying answer and that sits wrong with me bc honestly i'm nobody to be dragging the words out of people's mouth it's incredible bc despite you ignoring me from time to time, or whatever it is you're doing or not doing actually, i still like you and i guess i've run out of rationality. so i need to get over you bc i clearly took you too seriously lmao i've never had a communication problem with other boys, mostly bc i had the tendency to get involved with guys that were similar to me so i understood them but bc they were similar to me they were just as cocky and prideful and just the right amount of tender to get you thinking also. idk why but i also tend to like guys that are a few years older than me despite the moral conflict...especially when i was around 13 i met a guy disgustingly way older than me then at 14 i was messing around with some 25 y/o mf ...anyways basically you're different from the usual so idk how to handle communication problems if i've never dealt with them in the past in the first place i wish we could talk on the phone to make sure theres no misinterpretation but how could i have the gall to ask you to talk if we weren't talkin for a bit? omg that reminds me the other day i was cleaning out my inbox and swiping left on a convo gives you the call button and delete button and i accidentally hit call and got soooo embarrassed omg i was mad skressed like idk if it left a notification bc i hung up right away but thats just so embarrassing... also to clarify that stripper thing caught me off guard i didn't think you would interpret it as me talking about you lmao...has tpain sung in vain but it got me thinking bc that's so rude how come whenever you said 'love you' it was obviously a joke but the one time i do it as a joke as well it made things a tad awkward lastly remember when i asked if you wanted a relationship or like what you wanted etc. i was asking bc i wanted to know what you wanted first so my answer didn't influence yours i wanted to propose an open relationship for your sake but i guess that doesn't matter now omg i hate you and i hate the fact that i don't dislike anything about you the only things i could think of that i disliked about you were habits of yours. like being very laconic and not giving me the attention i deserve marcus i hate you inhate you so much you make me sad and i wish i could actually hate you but i cant and i think you want to like me but for some reason you can't develop feelings for me and that's alright you can't force chemistry just don't string me along unfortunately i trusted you so i took all your words sincerely but i realize that was stupid of me bc you probably can't even remember half the stuff you've said to me!! do you even remember my name? i feel so dumb and maybe i'm completely wrong about accusations but i mean...you don't tell me anything so of course as an analytical person i'm gonna try to fill in the huge missing plot holes with whatever seems most logical and accurate and i feel even more stupid bc not once have we spoken on the phone or skyped we've literally just seen pics of each other occasionally and kept it to messaging. i asked you to skype me once and you said you would do it later and i haven't asked more times bc i'm not a nagging person like if you really wanted to talk to me through those means you would've asked already. but you haven't...actually i've been the one who does things first this whole time bc it doesn't seem like you'll ever get around to doing them i guess bc you like not having to do the work? idk. basically i'm just a dumb bitch that lives across the country and who knows why you took any interest at all! i wish you talked to me just for my sexualness bc that would have been easier to understand and i can just write you off as another boy that took advantage of my naivety but that's not the case i know you don't talk to me for nudes or w/e. i still don't know why you still talk to me it can't be bc you like me bc logically speaking a person that likes someone can't go that long without talking to their crush. maybe you talk to me bc you like the fact that someone likes you so much and that makes you feel good? to have that power over someone. or maybe i'm giving you too much credit maybe you really are just another sufferer of teen boy syndrome and you do stupid illogical things in terms of girls as a side effect of being a teen boy bc yall are notorious for that lmao. again, i've never liked someone that was my age so idk how to understand you. so perhaps as a teen boy, you were faced with the situation of handling the dumb rebound hoe you know that lives in fl whom you might like a little, but then your ex comes along being all local and stuff so you can't say no to that but now you're not really interested in the rebound hoe that lives far away bc you have a gf now but you don't wanna lose the rebound bc she's a good find right? so you keep her at bay just in case you and your gf have a falling out again. you're really unlucky that i have such good memory! actually i'm known to have the tendency to quote what people have said months before lmao. anyways remember when someone thought we were dating? you thought it was bc i told one of my friends we were when you and i agreed to just being friends the day before. anyway the person claiming to be my friend and asking you that question turned out to be someone from your school and they told me to ask some berry-named person for more info but you asked me not to talk to that person so i respected your wishes. bc you said that the person behind that was your crazy ex so i didnt think about it but i find it peculiar that your snapchat best friend in current time is that berry person whom you claimed was your crazy ex lmao it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. but i'm not hurt bc you presumably have a gf i don't care tbh bc once again i just wanted an open relationship with you anyways and dating other people is a part of that but it doesn't matter bc i probably mean nothing to you anyways. but thats besides the point; i'm hurt because you don't really tell me anything yet i tell you everything about how i'm feeling when we have serious convos. i wish you could've told me you didn't like me instead of me having to come to the realization. if you'd told me i would've started to get over you and we could've still been friends bc tbh we were in an awkward 'not dating, more than friends' type thing. ofc i still wanna be your friend if you want to bc you seem like such a good one tbh and theres not many like that these days ya know? oh and because of me not understanding you i run to all these other guys asking for their opinion and sure they help but then they think that a girl having boy probs is the best time to swoop in and make a move on them. but you don't care so idk why i'm telling you but now you know. anyways you're the first real crush i've had since 7th grade and also the first person i've liked that isn't in state and nearby. i have long distance friends but thats bc i met them through tumblr and its only like a handful of them lmao. but anyways to me the notion that i liked you and you allegedly liked me despite the distance was romantic to me and i'll be honest if you went to my school i wouldn't have given you much thought i would've friendzoned you just like all my other guy friends from school. but instead i got to know your insides a little better and they're pure gold and it made a cute boy into a beautiful one and i'm sorry that i like you

old notes 01/06/15 😔 i cant stand by and do nothing like i cant just accept the situation without trying everything i can to fix it or at least close loose ends i need him to say sorry to me and that he hates me or at least doesn't like me so i can drop him like yesterdays trash

Old Notes 01/02/15 how do i clarify whether he still likes me if he hasnt spoken to me in 2 weeks like i told him if he kept up that habit that i'd take it as a sign to move on and thats our current stance and i refuse to double text bc when we had that convo it was the last time i'd double text bc i don't fuck with that like i don't understand when we had that convo i gave him the opportunity to tell me to fuck off or that he's not interested anymore but instead he said that he still wanted to talk to me and all this other crap he also insinuated that i was the one ignoring him when thats not the case at all i'm literally always waiting on him bc i've already done my part yfm

Old Notes 12/31/14 i dont like boys falling in love woth me unless i set out to do that and i dont like them saying it first bc like twelve percent of me is an evil demon so i do Mean things idk how to explain it basically i like to be vulnerable first then the other party can follow suit bc unlike them i'm 300% sure of my strength and resilience (like emotionally i can get hurt by others with a barrage of bullets and i'd be fine) but if the other party demonstrates vulnerability first i feel inclined/compelled to test their limits to see how far i can push them or how wrapped around my finger they are sometimes theyre totally wrapped and it freaks me out a lil tbh but other times it serves as a device to weasel out the fakies yfm actually that hasnt happened yet bc most if not all people i flirt with are just game i never seek something more or feel some type of way about them the exception being marker boy (not to memtion the fact he lives in narnia??? i dont fuck with ppl far away unless its friendship but again an exception) he was honestly just one pf the boys i was talking to not even the main one at that lmao but then i noticed he was very...idk odd i guess bc i dontusually fuck with people that are sjy or just generally not as open or straightforward like me but i'm kinna glad tbh like boys who are like me are mega papis in a bad sense like they're overly prideful as am i so we both just end up giving up the pursuit of 'taming' the other party thats why i don't wanna like those kinds of boys anymore like theres initial attraction bc we both appeal to each and try to make the other one go from a jagged rock to soft as honey in our hands but it never works out that was the other appeal about marker like realistically speaking he isn't the cutest but he's cute enough for me but probably doesn't seem attractive to most other people (actually i showed his pic to a few friends once in a group of other cute boy pics and rhey said he was ugly 😭) but me i'm PRETTY darn cute and honestly my body is so banging but unless i'm naked and in my room i like to hide it bc i dont want people to see it i guess? i just have a major issue with my boops they make me feel bad bc i think they draw attention they're not extremely big but ya know i probably have the biggest tiddies in my grade? im like so grateful for scrub tops and sports brad though like theyre hardly noticeable with that combo and i live! oh yeah so as i was saying i'm cuter than i give myself credit for i just feel ugly 99% of the time bc i feel like shit in general but i know i'm not ugly i just dont care also another appeal to marker was the fact that he lives in narnia i'm not much of a romantic but being far as hell from him is romantic tbh also like he drives and has a job and takes care of his bebe sis and cooks and all this other shit and idk its admirable like good for you for being responsible aw but also i like him for him too he's different from my usual brand but he's like really sweet to me and has a good head on his shoulders actually he's a fuckboy but to a relatively small degree bc he still does incomprehensible things like hobestly are you stupid or are you dumb!!!!! lmao i'm talking as though we're an item did i tell yall i totally friendzoned his ass bc i wasnt really sure what we were so i'm like 'blah blah blah our friendship' i dont consistently want him so i havent bothered trying to bring any of that up bc frankly idc like i'm ready to drop his ass and everyone else along with him i'm really not enjoying talking to anyone anymore im just too locked in myself rn but hopefully once again things will be normal once school resumes like i'll be all social bc ppl make me happy but not at current time and my little movie therapy is working i haven't neen getting all sadthoughtful and stuff actually my minds been mostly silent bc i've been too submerged in other things i just eat work shower watch movies and fall asleep to music immediately after to leave no room for my thoughts oh ya so the only reason i actually hurt is bc of myself i like giving other people (but not all people) the power to hurt me bc its all kind of a game to me i guess? i like to test my feelings out i like feeling those strong emotions bc its extremely rare and mostly unheard of for me to feel like external feelings are very swift while internal ones are...eternal sometimes i think about dying bc i think what if it gets to that point but that would suck lmao...i dont wanna die but i chase adrenaline highs...thats another reason why i flirt with people its all a nifty experiment but you gotta sift through the boring people first...

Old Notes 12/22/14 i'll try but marker makes me lose what little patience i have!! you know i had to tell him i liked him first? and he was shocked idk why but anyways he thinks i'm out of his league and i had to tell him bc it'd gotten to the point where he would take half a week to reply to me and i didn't know why our friendship was crumbling but it was bc he was distancing himself and i asked him if he ever planned on telling me he liked me (he said he's liked me since we were talking nonstop) and he said maybe bc he didn't wanna make things awkward and he didn't know to tell me and i asked why and he said have you looked in the mirror and then all two of our relationship talks were brought up by me both established nothing like i told you that basically we're more than friends but we might be an item but i don't think so i mean he's gotten better like he doesn't ignore me for days on end after i told him i liked him but he'd ignore me weekends and i told him that that's sketchy as hell and he can't expect me to like him or even remain in contact with him if he does that like who ignores their crush for more than a day lmao? so he fixed that too and now its just cruisin i guess

Old Notes 12/21/14 it's his fault idk what we are like the week before last he was saying i should tell guys i'm taken but you see its long distance and he started saying the buts (but i'll never get to see you...but what if you lose interest...but but but) and we ended up establishing nothing in progressing our relationship but then last week i reached out to him and he fixed the issue like if i'm straight with him he listens but yesterday i told him about a cute boy helping us move and my crush said to say hi to him then...and then today i was like "i'm in love with a stripper! we gettin married" and he thought i was talking about him and said "lol i'm not a stripper and what makes you say that you haven't met me yet" and like i didn't know how to respond so i told him i needed to pee and last night i told him "goodnight sweet dreams cum to the thought of me" and he said "i will trust me" then i sent a real nice nude bc i was bored and he said 'see i would lick that up like ice cream' i said 'the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice' he said he wanted my 'juices' all over his face anyways you get the gist of it we've been sexual but only bc i initiate it then this morning he sent me vids of him jacking off and i returned the favor bc i looove it when he does that like it just happens to be today but usually we're not sexual i know he likes me but its a bonus that i'm cute and have a nice body he thinks ughhhh anyways idk what we are said player guy isn't long distance but i probably won't see him once i leave

Old Notes edited 12/18/14 so basically i like this boy he likes me its long distance and i've noticed he ignores me on weekends that seems as though he has someone else etc. i've already ruled out that possibility bc of his behavior he doesn't have the guts nor drive to cheat on someone tbh idk he's really illogical to me im guessing bc he isn't emotionally mature??? idk i'm 17 and he's 18 and while he has more responsibilities than me persay i still have more emotional maturity/intellectuality idk usually i get with guys that are older but anyways i decided to ignore him and i have since sunday night but last night i texted him saying “i’m mad at you but i’m putting that on pause bc they lynched another black person” bc he’s the only person i really mention racism etc. to bc the few irl black friends i have/know don’t care as much as i do and he texted back right away asking why i’m mad at him and again (@the lynchings) and i still haven’t replied to his text nor his message on snapchat (i opened it so he knows i'm ignoring him) should i give him a clue or continue ignoring him until friday? like i wanna communicate the issue but at the same time he needs to know what it feels like but whats the point of ignoring him if he doesn’t know why he’s being ignored omg and idk if we're together like we've discussed it twice in the two weeks its been since we admitted our feelings and the second time we came to no conclusion just that he wants to but he thinks we'd never get to see each other...i mean seattle isn't on a different planet from orlando lmao...visiting would be limited but still doable also he thinks i'll stop liking him bc i told him a few months ago that thats literally what always happens with me in relationships that i just get bored etc. but i mean it happens early on i've been liking this boy for weeks i'm sorry this is so long its as condensed as i could get it basically i'm asking you if he's being genuine like he's hard to read tbh

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