Chapter One is pretty short, and serves primarily as a cheap way to introduce the X-Men characters into the Star Trek universe. We’re introduced to two new characters, and I noted them thinking that maybe they might be somewhat important. However, it looks like they’re just some red shirts (who happen to not die in this scene).
We have Security Officer Marco Palmieri, who doesn’t even deserve a rank beyond “Security Officer”, and his Security Chief, only known as Clark. She’s a woman, and that’s really all we’re told. Palmieri is patrolling the corridors of Starbase 88, bemoaning the lack of any actual action and adventure.
“Palmieri didn’t see anyone attempting to break into one of the cargo bays. He didn’t see anyone sabotaging any of the internal sensor nodes. He didn’t see anyone, period.
No surprise, he thought. There was never anyone to see.” (p.9)
Come on, Marco, haven’t you seen any horror movies, ever? Heck, I’d even give you suspenseful scenes in action movies. Whenever you start complaining about how boring and dull everything always is, THAT’S when the big monster comes and tears you to pieces. Seriously, this guy doesn’t learn, especially not even when the Starbase sensors pick up what they call a “temporal flux artifact.”
“Laying his hand against the security pad on the bulkhead, he watched the door slide aside. It was dark in the bay, but he had his palm light. Palmieri took a few steps inside and played the light over the uneven terrain of stacked cargo containers.
Nothing to see. But when was there ever?” (p.11)
Naturally, that’s when something happens. Some sort of bright flash lights up the whole cargo bay, and in its wake appear seven strangers - some who Palmieri thinks are from alien races he’s never seen before, the rest young humans.
t’s pretty easy to figure out that these are the X-Men when we hear what’s got to be Wolverine speak:
“I’ve got a better question,” said a third voice. “Where are our wee timehook devices?”
A fourth one spoke up gruffly. “Gone, it looks like. And don’t that take the flamin’ cake.”(p.12)
Before I continue, I just thought I’d point out the line, “wee timehook devices.” I don’t even know what the hell he’s talking about but it sounds funny to me. Alright, so Palmieri sees seven X-Men, and I’ve been able to identify six of them. We have:
- Archangel
- Nightcrawler
- Wolverine
- Collossus (who Palmieri at first thinks is a shapeshifter - nice touch, to be honest)
- Shadowcat (who I think is Kitty Pryde or something? She’s the one that goes through floors)
- Storm
- And some red-haired Irish guy. Xyloart tells me this is Banshee, whose mutant power is the ability to scream really loud.
Look at this awesome illustration she did! I'd like to imagine that this is how they appeared in Starbase 88's cargo bay.
Two more things to address before finishing the chapter.
First, I had mentioned in the prologue that I thought Friedman was a decent writer. This chapter just blows that notion out of the water. Not only do we have examples like “Abruptly, without warning, …” (p.11), but we have a huge problem with the scene that takes place in the cargo bay.
Friedman is using the fact that it’s a dark room with no lights to try to build some kind of tension: Palmieri can’t clearly see who these strange people are, and thinks that possibly they’re from the Dominion. It works okay, but then this happens after a brief fight between the X-Men and Palmieri:
Reinforcements, Palmieri thought. And none too soon.
“Lights,” said Clark.
Instantly, the cargo bay was illuminated. (p.14)
Lieutenant Redshirt could have just turned on the lights? My suspension of disbelief is now gone, Michael Jan Friedman. Thanks.
To close things off, the X-Men finally realize that they’ve seen the Starfleet uniforms before (in the crossover comic, Second Contact). Then, Banshee asks if the security chief has heard of the name “Picard”. The answer has gotta be yes, right?
“The name sounded familiar to Palmieri. Then he realized where he had heard it before.
Jean-Luc Picard was the captain of the Enterprise, the flagship of the fleet. If the stories about the man were true, he had saved the Federation from destruction more than once.”(p.16)
Are you kidding me? How does a security officer - granted, one that sounds pretty low on the food chain if he can’t turn on the lights in a cargo bay - not immediately recognize the name Picard?
My head hurts. Onto Chapter 2!