To Be A Man (The Guide)

A Christian's guide to being a gentleman

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To Be A Man (The Guide) has moved!

Hi followers and well wishers! I wanted to jump up here and let you all know that the blog has moved. I will no longer be posting blogs here, but instead they'll go up at http://tobeamantheguide.com/. You can also follow us at Facebook.com/ToBeAManTheGuide. Thanks for showing interest and please come check out everything that we have going on over there.

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Ordering At A Busy Bar

Getting a bartender's attention can be difficult at a busy bar, but not as difficult as you might think. They want to help you, but they're trying to distinguish the difference between people who need help and people just standing at the bar, so just standing there will not get their attention. So, if the bar is full and you are ready to order here’s what you do. First and foremost know what you want before getting to the bar; this isn’t the time to ask them for suggestions. Try to find an opening at the bar, even if it's a small opening between two people; slide in sideways in between them. Bar attendees won’t mind so much, just remember to be polite and say “Excuse me.” First look over at the bartender, place one arm on the bar with cash or a card in your hand so the bartender can see it. The closer to where he/she is mixing drinks the better. Don’t call out or wave for their attention. Every once in a while they will look around for people who need help. When they do give 'em a head nod and a smile. They may come right over or they may tell you they’ll be right with you, but either way now they know you need help and will get to you as soon as possible. I can't stress this enough: Know what you want before you even try to get their attention. Be ready to order when they get to you. Don’t try to order a Manhattan in a sports bar and don’t try to order a Miller Light at a vodka bar. Know the kind of bar you're in and order accordingly. A bartender in a dive bar isn't going to know how to make you an Algonquin. If you like a super unique cocktail that you heard about on TV that no one knows about, don’t order that drink. Order common cocktails that any bartender would know. Finally tipping 20% is standard and totally fine, but if you tip very well, say like 50%, they will give you extra attention and makes sure they will get to you ASAP the next time you need a drink. Again, not necessary, but if you want quick service later on you could try tipping a little more generously. All in all, just remember to be polite, order loudly so they can hear you, and keep orders simple so they can get your drinks and move on to their next costumers. Be a cool customer and you’ll get excellent service all night long.

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How To Make Enchiladas Easy

If you want to make a quick lunch for the afternoon, or maybe need something for a potluck all you need are a few ingredient and stuff everyone has in their kitchen to make awesome enchiladas super easily. What you'll need enchilada sauce, tortillas, cheese, and a whole pre-cooked chicken that most grocery stores make,

Tools you'll need for the job are foil, a plate, a giant bowl, and a casserole.

Shred the chicken in a giant bowl and take out the bones. Shred into chunks, not tiny pieces.

Pour the enchilada sauce into a plate.

You're going to need to heat the tortillas in a skillet. Both sides now. If you don't heat them up it'll break when you try to roll them.

Dip the tortilla into the sauce.

Not both sides, just the one side.

Use a good amount of chicken in the tortilla and roll it up..

Roll it up and slide it to one side. Keep going one by one... this might take a while so play some music.

Keep going until you fill the casserole.

You're going to have some enchilada sauce left over so pour the rest over the casserole and spread it around.

. Now cover the enchiladas with cheese.

Pre-heat the oven for 350 degrees.

Cover them with foil and pop it in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes or until the cheese is melted. If you don't cover it with foil they'll dry out. You want them moist.

Now you're done and they're ready to eat. Make Rice-A-Roni Mexican Rice, It's super easy to make and will be a good pairing. Enjoy.

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OKAY THAT'S IT!!! LEARN THE RULES OF SOCCER ALREADY!!!

Every four years the country, nay, THE WORLD, goes crazy for soccer when the FIFA World Cup Tournament is played. People who never watch soccer have parties and go to bars and restaurants to watch and cheer for their favorite soccer teams. I posted this a while ago, but I figured since this is something that is coming up soon I figured I'd put it up again. I put together the rules and random facts about the tournament just in case you find yourself watching a game on television and don't want to be lost. Now, I'm no soccer expert, so if I missed something or got something wrong please send me a comment on the Facebook page. "Raining down sulfur takes a huge level of endurance. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer." --Loki, Dogma Field Size: According to FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association; translated into English it would be "International Federation of Association Football"), there is no exact length the soccer field must be, but it can not be less than 100 yards, but not more than 130 yards. Width is much the same. Width can not be less than 50 yards, but not more than 100 yards. As long as these measurements are set the only rule is that the field has to be a rectangle not a square. Ball: Circumference has to be between 27 & 28 inches, and weight has to be 14 to 16 oz. Number of players: 11 players are allowed on the field including the goal keeper. In official games there are only 3 substitutions allowed, but up to 7 substitutions can be allowed depending on the league. Any player can change places with goal keeper provided they let the ref know and it's while the game has stopped. Many times you may see the goal keeper wearing a very different jersey. This is to distinguish him from the other players. Time: Two 45 minute halves with a 15 minute half time. Referee: All decisions by the ref are final. Have you seen them cards they wave? Well, those are penalty cards. If you commit a foul, depending on the severity you can be given a verbal warning, a yellow card, or a red card. A red card equals expulsion from the game. Two yellow cards equal a red card. I will discuss the cards further down. Linesmen: Assistant refs that determines which team kicked the ball out of play and who puts it back into play. To Begin: Ball is placed at the center of the field. The team who wins a coin toss kicks it off. Each team is on their own side of the field. The center is also where play begins after a point is scored or at the beginning of the next half. Scoring: The entire ball must cross the goal line for it to count as a goal. Does not matter who kicks the ball in. If a player kicks the ball into his or her own net it still counts as a goal against their own team. Out of Bounds: When the ball is kicked out of bounds then play stops and the ball needs to be thrown or kicked back into play. Who ever was the last person to touch the ball before it goes out of bounds is responsible therefore the opposing team puts the ball it back into play. Throw-In: If a player kicks or knocks the ball out of bounds and the opposing player throws the ball back into play at the spot the ball left the field. He has to have both feet on the ground, both hands on the ball and behind the line. This player must throw the ball to another player before he's allowed to touch the ball again. Goal Kick: Look at the field above. If a player kicks the ball out of bounds at the opposing teams goal line, for example trying to score a goal and missing it completely, then the goalkeeper kicks the ball back into play, but that kick must leave the penalty area. Corner Kick: If, on the other hand, a player knocks the ball out of bounds at their own goal line, for example blocking a goal attempt and kicking it away, then the opposing team kicks the ball back into play. Not from the spot the ball went out, but from the corner closest to where the ball went out. Dropped-Ball: If game has to be stopped for an external reason like someone throws something onto the field, the ball becomes defective, a player is injured, or a riot breaks out and it effects the game, then play is stopped by the ref. Once the problem is dealt with play begins at the spot where the ball was when it was stopped and by the player who had the ball at the time. Hand Ball: Here's a rule I bet you didn't know. You can't use your hands. I know, it surprised me too. Anyway, you can't use anything from the tips of his fingers to the shoulder to control the ball while in play. Now, if the ball is kicked at a player and it accidentally hits his hand or arm, then this is not a hand ball, but the ref must decide whether it was an accident or not. The only person who can touch the ball with their hands is the goal keeper, but there are times when even the goal keeper can't use his hands, and this is when the ball is passed to him by a member of his own team. If the ball is passed to him he must use his feet to get rid of it. He can only pick it up if it is kicked into his area by the opposing team. Penalty Cards: A player cannot kick, trip, jump at, charge, strike, push, hold, or spit at an opponent. If this happens on purpose or on accident the ref. will pull out a card to signal a foul. Yellow Card - Warning: This is when a player kicks, pushes or hits an opponent accidentally while trying to get the ball. A "foul" can only be called while the ball is in play. Red Card - Send-Off: When a player willfully kicks, pushes or otherwise hits an opponent he is shown a red card and he is kicked out of the game. That player can not be replaced. Two Yellow Cars equals a red card. Free Kick: If a foul occurs, play is stopped and the ball is given to the team who was fouled. The ball is placed where the foul occurred and player who was fouled takes the kick. This is called a "Free Kick". Direct Free Kick: This is when a purposeful foul is committed against a player the ball can be kicked directly into the goal from the point at which the ball is placed. Indirect Free Kick: These fouls are often committed by the goal keeper. Fouls like he touches the ball with his hands when the balls is passed to him by his own team mate, he holds the ball for more than six seconds during play, he drops the ball to kick and picks it up again. These fouls result in an indirect free kick which means that the ball must be touched by another team mate before scoring a goal. Penalty Kick: If the foul occurred within the penalty box (the smallest square in front of the goal) against the opposing team. The ball is placed on the dot in front of the goal and the player who was fouled has nothing but the goal keeper to keep him from scoring. Off sides: A player is not allowed to stand next to the goal waiting for the ball to be passed to him. When he receives a pass there must be a player from the opposing team between him and the goal keeper. If this occurs it is an off sides. Though, an opponent can not move up the field to put an offensive player off sides The exceptions to this rule is if the ball is passed to him during a throw in, goal kick or corner kick. The FIFA World Cup Tournament: The tournament started in 1930 and has been held every four years, except for 1942 & 46 when they were cancelled due to the Second World War. A world wide competitions that last three years to determine what 32 nations will compete in the actual tournament. Only 8 different nations have won the trophy in it's history. Brazil has won the tournament more than any other team with 5 World Cup wins. The FIFA World Cup Trophy: The original trophy was permanently given to Brazil in 1970 after their third victory. It was stolen and never seen again. A new trophy was designed and is made of 18 ct. gold, stands 14.2 inches high, and weighs a little over 13 lbs. Notable Soccer Player: Pele: One of the most famous soccer players in history, this Brazilian player appeared four time at the World Cup, and led his nation to three World Cups of those four, three victories in 1958. 62. and 70. Diego Maradona: Considered the greatest player in the history of the game this Argentinian player appeared four times in the World Cup and won the Cup for his team in 1986. In that game he scored one of the most infamous goals in history by scoring a goal with a header, but actually knocking the ball into the goal with his arm which no referee saw. Since then the goal has come to be called "The Hand Of God", because with a wink people say Maradona scored the goal with his head, but God knocked the goal in with His hand. Ronaldinho: This Brazilian player was awarded Player of the Year by FIFA in 2004 and was cemented as a legend when he scored a 40 yard free kick goal winning Brazil the world cup in 2002. Ronaldo: A Brazilian player won the World Cup with Brazil in 1994 at the young age of 17. He won FIFA's Soccer Player Of The Year two consecutive years in 1996 and 1997 making him the youngest player to win the award and the only player to receive the award two years in a row. Michel Platini: A French legend, Platini has Participated in three World Cup tournaments in 1978, 82, and 86. He helped his team win the European Football Championship scoring 9 goals in the final match. Zinedine Zidane: Awarded player of the year by FIFA in 1998, 2000, and 2003, and he won most valuable player in the World Cup in 1998 and 2006. He scored two goals against Brazil helping France win the 1998. Hugo Sanchez: Mexican player who participated in three of his countries World Cup Tournament appearances. He played for many Spanish teams and won many trophies for being one of the highest scoring players in the Nation including the National Championship. In honor of his gymnast sister he did a front flip after ever goal he scored and often used an acrobatic kick to score goals. David Beckham: An incredible ball handler and amazingly accurate passer and shooter, Beckham has gained fame off the field for his looks, suits, and marriage to "Posh Spice" Victoria Beckham. He made appearances in World Cup tournaments in 1998, 2002, and 2006, but was injured before he could appear again in 2010.

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This is one of the most inspiring commencement speeches I've ever heard. This is required viewing.

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The Wrong Response

The social media response to the Isla Vista tragedy last week has been pretty wide spread. Of course the typical hate from pieces of garbage make their voices heard, but on the positive side there was an overwhelming number of women, and some men taking to twitter with the hashtag #YesAllWomen. They tweeted examples of how the threat of sexual violence affects their day to day lives as well as examples of how misogyny pervades their everyday life in this society. Here are a few examples: #YesAllWomen because ‘I have a boyfriend’ is more effective than ‘I’m not interested’—men respect other men more than my right to say no #YesAllWomen because every time I try to say that I want gender equality I have to explain that I don’t hate men. I’ve spent 19 yrs teaching my daughter how not to be raped,” one mother tweeted. “How long have you spent teaching your son not to rape? #YesAllWomen Because every single woman I know has a story about a man feeling entitled to access to her body. Every. Single. One. #YesAllWomen Because every woman I know has experienced some form of sexual harassment, abuse or assault, myself included. #YesAllWomen #YesAllWomen b/c not returning someone's feelings, or as society calls it putting them in the "friend zone", should not make me feel guilty Girls grow up knowing that it's safer to give a fake phone number than to turn a guy down. #yesallwomen #yesallwomen because even this hashtag is being infiltrated by men trying to invalidate women's experiences This last tweet points at something I wanted to talk about. It actually brings up where the hashtag came from. How should we, as Christian men react to #YesAllWomen? This hashtag came about after the Isla Vista tragedy and it was a response to the argument, “Not all men are like that!” Now, whenever a discussion about misogyny or violence against women, or harassment comes up there is a knee jerk reaction by some men making this argument. The problem with this argument is that there is almost never a claim that all men are violent or commit sexual assault. In this particular case the response to “Not all men are like that!” has been, “No, not all men are like that, but all women experience some form of assault, harassment, verbal threats intimidation or belittlement, or discrimination. No, not all men are like that, but yes, all women suffer at the hands of men.” The major problem with saying “Not all men are like that” is, first, the claim that all men are violent or harass women is never made, but also the argument is usually made to derail the discussion. Instead of standing in support of women, standing against sexual violence, the discussion is ignored and accusations and defensive statements are made about something that no one said. It is a statement that says, “I understand that violence against women is real, and I can’t argue against that, so I’ll argue with you about something else because I still don’t want to support you.” As Christian men we are called to take a stand. We are told to stand against injustice and defend the oppressed. Learn to do what is good. Seek justice. Correct the oppressor. Defend the rights of the fatherless. Plead the widow's cause. Isaiah 1:17 I’m not saying write a tweet with the hastag #YesAllWomen, I’m simply saying that we as Christians have a responsibility to protect those who can’t protect themselves, protect those in danger, those who are oppressed. When a woman talks about how she doesn’t feel safe walking home at night, or how a guy was hitting on her and wouldn’t stop even after she told him she wasn’t interested, or getting whistled at on the street, instead of telling her to ignore it or saying it’s not that big a deal, let her know how terrible that is. Support of her let her know her feelings are valid and she should not be made to feel alone. There’s nothing that makes you feel more ashamed and lonely than to have someone turn their backs on you when you tell them about how much you’re suffering. We have a responsibility to do what is right, to be the comforting voice, the men of action that God has called us to be. No, not all men are like that, no one is making that claim, but you have a choice whether you will be a voice of support and comfort or just another man who ignores a woman in a time of need. Let them know that we recognize their pain and that we will stand with them. Let them know we believe things need to change, and we will work towards that change. But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. Because if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man looking at his own face in a mirror. For he looks at himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But the one who looks intently into the perfect law of freedom and perseveres in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but one who does good works—this person will be blessed in what he does. James 1:22-25 He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:4

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God Bless those who served for our freedom.

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No, The Bible Does Not Say That, Jerk Ass: Slavery

People claim the Bible makes statements that it does not, and other claim it never says something it clearly does. By doing a little digging and sometimes just reading the Bible in context that those statements are false or just misinterpretations. “No, The Bible Does Not Say That” will tackle these claims and try to dig up what the Bible is actually telling us.

The Claim: The Bible says that slavery is okay. It’s something Christians try to ignore, but it’s says it right there, not only is slavery okay, but beating them is okay as well. Even Jesus encouraged the ownership of slaves. No, the Bible does not say that, jerk ass. Leave it to me to start an article series on a subject that isn’t so cut and dry. Does that Bible discuss slavery? Yup, it does. Does it say a slave master can hit a slave? Sure. Does it command slaves to follow and obey their masters instructions? Yes again. The part we need to understand though is that the slavery spoken about in Leviticus and the slavery that we think of today are two different things. The “slavery” that Leviticus referred to was actually a bondservant. In those days if a person owes another a debt they can’t repay they can repay it by becoming a bondservant for a period of 6 years and be released on the seventh year. Don’t believe me? LOOK IT UP! Let’s look at Leviticus 25:38-46 If your brother among you becomes destitute and sells himself to you, you must not force him to do slave labor. Let him stay with you as a hired hand or temporary resident; he may work for you until the Year of Jubilee. Then he and his children are to be released from you, and he may return to his clan and his ancestral property. They are not to be sold as slaves, because they are My slaves that I brought out of the land of Egypt. You are not to rule over them harshly but fear your God. Your male and female slaves are to be from the nations around you; you may purchase male and female slaves. You may also purchase them from the foreigners staying with you, or from their families living among you—those born in your land. These may become your property. You may leave them to your sons after you to inherit as property; you can make them slaves for life. But concerning your brothers, the Israelites, you must not rule over one another harshly.” Now, here the word for “slave” is “`ebed” which means servant or bondman. And as it explains here simply that not only are these poor folks not permanent slaves, but that they should be treated well, with respect. There are some passages that are harder to accept, even for me, like being able to hit a slave with a rod (Exodus 21:20-21), if he dies then the master should be put to death, but if the slave gets better after a few days then all is cool. Female slaves can be bought and kept for as long as they please their master, again difficult to swallow, but if she is bought for marriage, either to the master or his son then she ceases to be a slave and because as a daughter (Exodus 21:7-11). Not great, but in those times arranged marriages were common, and women weren’t seen in very high positions in the world, and let me point out that this is not unique to Christianity. In these times cultures all over the world had practices similar to these or worse, the difference is that the Bible commands men to treat women with love honor respect and grace. The Bible speaks about women with great honor, even in the Old Testament. For example Ruth was a powerful figure in her kingdom, or Deborah was a Judge of Israel, and even Rahab the prostitute who helped Israel defeat and capture Jericho is sung about with great praise. So on some level we may take issue on how women were treated and spoken about in those days based on what we know, but the Bible does an extraordinary job of commanding men to treat women with love honor respect and dignity, more so than other cultures at the time. Another issue people have with this slave issue in the Bible is that the New Testament orders slaves to obey their masters (Ephesians 6:5), but it also commands masters to respect their slaves (Ephesians 6:9). In fact the Bible tells us all to honor our leaders, bosses and supervisors because by honoring and obeying those in charge people will see the love of Christ in us (Romans 13:1-7). God also commands us, when we are put in a position of power or leadership to love and respect our workers. As for Jesus supporting slavery, that is a pretty big stretch. By the time Jesus made His way down to Earth slavery was still a thing, and when people talk about Jesus supporting slavery what they mean is that in Luke 12 Jesus tells a parable teaching us to be ready for the Messiah’s return. Let’s take a look at it: "Be ready for service and have your lamps lit. You must be like people waiting for their master to return from the wedding banquet so that when he comes and knocks, they can open [the door] for him at once. Those slaves the master will find alert when he comes will be blessed. I assure you: He will get ready, have them recline at the table, then come and serve them. If he comes in the middle of the night, or even near dawn, and finds them alert, those slaves are blessed. But know this: if the homeowner had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into. 40 You also be ready, because the Son of Man is coming at an hour that you do not expect." "Lord," Peter asked, "are You telling this parable to us or to everyone?" The Lord said: "Who then is the faithful and sensible manager his master will put in charge of his household servants to give them their allotted food at the proper time? That slave whose master finds him working when he comes will be rewarded. I tell you the truth: he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But if that slave says in his heart, 'My master is delaying his coming,' and starts to beat the male and female slaves, and to eat and drink and get drunk, that slave's master will come on a day he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. And that slave who knew his master's will and didn't prepare himself or do it will be severely beaten. But the one who did not know and did things deserving of blows will be beaten lightly. Much will be required of everyone who has been given much. And even more will be expected of the one who has been entrusted with more. Luke 12:35-48 What Jesus was teaching His disciples is that they, the servants and slaves of God, must be ready and attentive for the Messiah’s return. Moreover, those who are leaders have higher responsibility. We all have a responsibility to do our part as Christians to bare fruit, but those who much is given much is expected. Slavery existed in that time and Jesus used an analogy in order for us to understand what He was saying. Jesus also told His disciples that He would become as a slave and tells us to do the same. Humble ourselves to those around us. This in no way is a support or condoning of slavery, it is just a parable and an analogy of how we should act and carry ourselves with humble hearts. Finally I want to point out that the Bible, several times in fact, condemns the slave trade as stated by Deuteronomy 24:7 and Exodus 21:16 and Timothy 1:10. To compare the “slavery” in the Bible to the American slave trade is illogical. In fact the penalty of kidnapping human being and selling them as slaves is death. This is even more proof that the Bible doesn't support slavery or the slave trade. The Bible acknowledges that it existed, but also makes sure that the servants and masters are seen as equal human beings. I don’t think this is going to change many people’s minds. There are those people who don’t care what the Bible says, they will only see what they want to see because it makes it easier for them to hate our faith. I simply wanted to give you all a little information you can turn to in case this issue is brought up. Point out what the Bible really says about slavery, that there’s a difference between Biblical bond servants and slavery, that God commands masters and leaders to respect their workers and condemns kidnapping for slavery and mistreating his worker. I hope this helps in your ministry. I should be writing a few more blogs about what people claim the Bible says sometime in the future.

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Poems Every Man Should Know: somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond By E.E. Cummings

Poems Every Man Should Know will present poems of great importance. They will introduce you to works that are historic, moving, powerful and speak to the human spirit.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience,your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose or if your wish be to close me, i and my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending; nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility:whose texture compels me with the color of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing (i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands ------------------------------------------------ Not just a love poem, but the love poem. Not much really to say, just to let you know this is the sort of poem you give a gal you are truly, deeply in love with. Bookmark this poem and keep it for when you meet that special someone. Oh, I will mention, this poem has no official title, it was named after the first line.

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Punk Rock Accepted Me When Christians Didn't

When I was a kid I didn't have many friends. I was awkward, fat, shy, and kind of a dork. I was pushed around and made fun of by other kids. I don't often talk about my childhood because I don't remember being very happy. I never went through any traumatic moments, but thinking back on those days I don't remember it being a very happy time for me. Middle School changed all that though. At some point in my early teens I found punk rock music and that changed my attitude big time. For a young boy full of angst, anger, frustration and the feeling that I didn't belong, punk rock was the perfect outlet for me. It is the music of the rejected; a music scene that not only accepted their own rejection from the mainstream, but revels in it. It was my new identity. All kids at a young age want to belong. They might deny it but they really want to be liked and accepted by other people, but for some of us that doesn't happen because they aren't cool enough, or rich enough, or charismatic enough. Punk Rock and Heavy Metal is the music for these kids. It tells them that they should be proud of their own rejection because you're not a part of an unfair class system. "They didn't reject you, you rejected them!" We rejected a world of superficiality and conformity. It turns that rejection on its head and gives them a place where they feel at home, that accepts them for who they are. Through punk rock I found friends, a sense of belonging, a set of songs that understood what I felt. In the late 90's there was as string of school shootings by kids who listen to heavy metal and other styles if hard rock music, and so parents and religious groups blamed the this music for these kids behavior. People like Trent Reznor of Nine In Nails and Marilyn Manson were targeted and were accused of encouraging violent behavior in their music. As a person who has known a lot of people who listened to this kind of music, I will say unequivocally that this music helps kids more than hurts them. Kids are inspired to play an instrument, it shows them that they’re not the only ones who feel alone, it them feel like they matter, and it tells them that those who rejected them are the real losers. There are those who commit horrible acts of violence who happen to listen to metal or punk, but they have a much deeper issue, much more complex than just the music they listen to.

Now, I grew up Catholic, but it didn't mesh well with me. A lot of it didn’t make sense to my teenage mind and as a result I visited other churches; Christian churches in fact. They all had youth programs that I went too and my school had a Bible Club, so I dipped my toe in to see what made them different from my church. Unfortunately a lot of the kids in Bible Club were very cliqueish. Sure they were Christian, but they were still teenagers and for the most part were intimidated by a guy who wore an army jacket covered in patches with band names such as Crass, The Subhumans, or The Germs covering it.

Before I was too awkward and shy to be liked, now I was just weird looking. I had a few Christian friends, but they didn't think I was interested in hearing about the Gospel and they weren't really into ministering to their friends. As for the adults and youth leaders at these churches they didn't take too kindly to me. There was one time three men came to me and wanted to ask me a few questions. At first I thought they just wanted to talk, but it was mainly to tell me I was listening to demonic music. One guy said, "Black Flag? Bad Religion? Sounds like a couple of Satan worshipers to me.” Another said, “How can you love God and listen to that kind of music?" They were a little aggressive and very argumentative, and it made me feel really small. I was still a kid then and these guys were adults, big guys just arguing with me. I felt the way I felt when I was a kid in elementary school getting made fun of and being picked on. A couple of guys who are bigger than me making me feel small. This pushed me way from wanting to be a part of their church. I visited their church because I felt like something was missing in my life, I wanted to have a closer relationship with God, but just like before I felt rejected and unwanted. Christ was calling me, but Christians were pushing me away, or at least that's how I felt.

Christians don't understand the secular world and they especially don't understand secular counter culture. They view things like heavy metal music as demonic and punk rock as violent. Admittedly bands like Slayer use satanic imagery and lyrics, and Iron Maiden has their infamous "Number Of The Beast" song, which isn't pro-Satan, but still sounds evil to Christian ears, so it's understandable to some extent. I'm not here to justify the music or bands, it's just that if a kid who is part of a music scene for people who don’t fit in anywhere, and they feel rejected then maybe making them feel rejected by yet another group of people won’t help them. I will be the first to admit that lots of the bands in punk and heavy metal outright attack Christianity, and mock Christ, but again, I'm not here to defend the music. What we as Christians need to understand is where these kids are coming from. Why they started listening to this music in the first place. Sure a lot of these kids have no interest in going to church, but if a metal kid does end up at one of our churches or Bible Club meetings maybe we should approach them with kindness and acceptance. Meet them where they're at and get to know them before we attack them and their music. We must remember that to them their music is where they found a home, a comfort when there was no one else to take them in.

When Jesus approached people He didn't come to them with aggression, attacks, and arguments. He approached people with love and open arms and He was accused of being a drunkard and a glutton for it (Matthew 11:9), He ate with tax collectors and sinners. When the Pharisees asked how He could do such a thing Jesus replied saying, “I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:32), He talked to a Samaritan woman at a time when the Hebrew people didn't associate with Samaritans. She as well as the apostles were shocked that He would do such a thing, but Jesus doesn't care about who you are, He cares about who you can become. He accepts everyone. There is a time to deal with sin and perhaps listening to music that mocks the Lord is wrong, but there is a time and place to deal with that. If someone you know is being led astray by the music they listen to then yes, approach them with love and rebuke them for that sin, but if a kid who listens to heavy metal or punk is visiting your Church I don’t think his or her issue is with music, it’s with being lost and needing to be found. Deal with the issue at hand, the need to find a home first. I bet those kids get told how horrible they are for listening to demonic music all the time by people who don’t understand it, but if they are approached with acceptance and grace it will shock them that the person who came to them, a Christian said, “Hey, cool shirt. How do you like our church?”

Personally this is how I felt growing up. The music at its core, although sounds evil and scary, really is pretty harmless. It’s mostly for show. I was looking for a home and punk rock was there for me before anything else was. Eventually I was able to find Christ and His loving grace in spite of the music I listened to. These guys and gals are good kids looking for a home and Jesus is waiting for them. We should follow Christ’s example and accept them where they’re at like I was… Punk Rock shirt and all.

[tobeamantheguide]

This is a list of 100 movies every man should see. It isn’t a complete list but it’s a start. I based the movies on this list on a criteria that ranged from importance to film history, importance to popular culture, and good examples of men, and of course examples of bad people and the...

[tobeamantheguide]

I give thanks to Christ Jesus our Lord who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, appointing me to the ministry — one who was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an arrogant man. But I received mercy because I acted out of ignorance in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord overflowed, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: 'Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners' — and I am the worst of them. But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate His extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in Him for eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

1 Timothy 1:12-17

[tobeamantheguide]

Recipe For Nathan Fillion's Fuster Clucks Dessert

A while ago Nathan Fillion appeared on The Nerdist Podcast hosted by Chris Hardwick and he gave this recipe which I then made. Now, Fillion says he didn't invent them, but I couldn't find the recipe (or the cookies for that matter) anywhere. Fillion's description is the only recipe I could find. Chris Hardwick named them Fillion's Fuster Clucks so that's what they are now! It's what Browncoats ate on the frontlines during the battle for independence. Enjoy.

What you'll need is a bag of crispy chow mein, a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips, a bag of butterscotch (or peanut butter chips), and roasted salted peanuts.

Begin by boiling a pot of water.

Measure 1 1/3 cups of chocolate and 1 1/3 cups of butterscotch and pour it into a metal bowl and place it on top of the pot. DON'T HEAT THE CHOCOLATE AND BUTTERSCOTCH DIRECTLY OVER THE FLAME!!! It'll burn.

Stir constantly, you don't want to burn the chocolate at the bottom. At first the chocolate will be thick, so keep it over the heat until it smooths out and becomes easier to work with

Add 1 1/3 of a cups of chow mein. Stir it into the chocolate, then add 3/4 of a cup of the peanuts and stir that in as well. *This might take a while, so one could melt the chocolate and butterscotch using a microwave. Just use a bowl that doesn't get hot and heat the chocolate and butterscotch in 30 second intervals, pulling it out in between to stir. This will ensure the chocolate won't burn.*

Plop spoonfuls of them onto wax paper on a cookie sheet. Depending on how large they are you can get quite a bit.

Place in the fridge and let them cool and set. Once they've hardened you'll have the best snacks in the 'verse. Shiny...

[tobeamantheguide]

Cocktails For Women #8: Tequila Sunrise

These are cocktails that are sweeter and smoother and more commonly enjoyed by ladies, though there’s nothing that says men can’t enjoy them too. If you’re at a bar or restaurant with a lady and she wants you to recommend something delicious, suggest some of these.

1 1/2 oz tequila 3 oz orange juice 1 teaspoon grenadine Shake tequila and OJ in ice and pour into martini glass. Add grenadine last to create the sunrise look. One can also just shake all three ingredients and pour it into a larger glass. Remember that over drinking is not the conduct of a gentleman and certainly not the conduct of a Christian. All your actions must be done to glorify God because we are an example to young Christians as well as nonbelievers. We must act and conduct ourselves as Christ did. Young Christians who are not of drinking age must remember that we are to honor and follow the laws of our land, and to not do so is disobedience to God (Rom 13:1-2 & 1 Pet. 2:13-17).

[tobeamantheguide]

The "Friendzone" Problem (excerpt from a previous post)

There’s a lot of talk about guys being put in “The Friend Zone” lately in memes and photoshopped pictures on the internet, and it’s getting to be annoying. What this basically means is a guy likes a girl. So he begins to work towards becoming her boyfriend by being nice, spending time with her, talking to her when she needs someone to listen. He does all this to show her what a great guy he is and what a great boyfriend he would be, but after all this time and work he put into showing her what a great catch he would be she lets him know that she doesn't have feelings for him, she just sees him as a friend. This is “being put in the Friendzone.” It is seen as a mean thing to do to guys because women say they are looking for a nice guy and here is a nice guy and yet she is still not interested in him. Basically, she’s a terrible person since being a nice guy obligates her to be his girlfriend. She really has no choice in the matter. It drives me out of my mind how stupid some guys can be. First of all, becoming a guy’s friend isn’t something cruel she is doing to him. It isn’t something she’s doing to be mean or to hurt him, but today for some reason guys believe they are owed a woman, that they deserve a girlfriend simply because they are nice guys. Let me make this clear to anyone reading this: No woman is obligated to date or fall in love with anyone. She’s not a prize or an trophy or some sort of goal that a man wins or that he deserves for his actions. She’s a human being who has her own thoughts, feelings, opinions and choices. She is under no obligation to date a guy simply because he was nice to her. There’s more to attraction than being treated well, but these Friendzone shouters don’t think so. They believe men deserve a relationship or sex simply because he's a nice guy, but the only thing a guys deserves from a woman, is MAYBE her courtesy. A big reason women don’t fall for their guy friends in these situations is because most of the time a guy simply becomes her friend and does nothing else to let her know he’s interested in her. Most guys who “end up in the friendzone” are too scared to ask the girl out, and he never tells her they like her, and never make any effort to date her. They simply act nice and become her friend and hope that eventually she’ll fall in love with him, tell him how she feels and ONLY THEN will he ask her out. He basically wants her to do all the work. He does nothing, then expects things to work out the way he wants them to and all he really has to do is be nice. This is why he ends up her friend, because she has no idea he likes her, and if she does know she’s turned off by the fact that he doesn’t have the guts to ask her out. A woman wants a guy to ask her out, it’s his job. A lot of times women really like a guy and she sees he has feelings for her too, but he’s too scared to ask her out and that’s not a quality she wants in a man. Another reason women don’t fall for their friends is because a she simply doesn’t like him. She has certain things she’s looking for in a man and this fella just doesn’t have them. You know, like any guy doesn’t find just any woman attractive. He has certain things that he’s looking for in a mate. Well so do women and the reason for this is because we’re all human beings with personalities and tastes and opinions, and free thought. Now, there are times when women lead men on and make them think that she is also interested because she likes to play games and use men for what ever she needs, but those are totally different situations. Men do this to women too. Those people suck and hurt others intentionally. But truth be told because emotions and hormones are involved guys feel like they were led on because they wanted to much to date a girl. To him it was obvious he liked her, but to her she just saw a good friend. She wasn't trying to lead him on, she just didn't notice. She didn't put a guy in the friendzone, she just doesn't have feelings for him. That's not something she's actively doing. If it bothers you that a girl you like put you in “The Friendzone” then you’re being the jerk. Look at it through her perspective: She met a really cool guy who is nice and sweet and is a really good friend, then she comes to find out that the only reason he was ever nice to her was because he wanted to date her and when that didn’t work out this good guy, this friend of hers, holds it against her and makes her feel guilty because she doesn’t feel the same way. She had a great friend and now she has to feel bad because she doesn't want to date him. Like she did something wrong because she doesn't have feelings for someone. Okay, I sound frustrated, but only because I feel like our sisters in Christ (or those not in Christ for that matter) deserve better than to be punished simply because they don’t feel the same for us as we do for them. As Christian men we have to remember that we don’t deserve anything. No woman is obligated to like us, and we aren’t owed a woman simply because we are nice guys. As men of God we must follow the examples of Christ, work towards becoming spiritually mature, work towards a career and financial stability, and work toward loving our neighbors as Jesus loved us. If you meet a gal you like make the best effort at putting your best self forward, and ask her out. If she likes you awesome, if she doesn’t that sucks, but what can you do? The reason you like her is because she’s a fully fleshed out human being with her own thoughts, ideas, attractions, etc. She wasn’t for you, so move on. Make your walk with The Lord your guiding force, and the compass that directs your life. Don’t do it to meet women, do it to honor God. In the end what Christian women need is a strong Christian leader and spiritually mature partner and a confident emotionally mature individual. Maybe the girl you like doesn’t like you back, but making you her friend isn’t something to be offended by. Be a good friend to her and maybe sometime along the way you’ll meet a Godly woman that does connect with you.

[tobeamantheguide]

Being Shrewd and Innocent In A Sinful World

Something for our female readers: A while ago a wrote a blog post for a friend's blog and it was directed at women, but I realize it also gives men a little insight. I discuss what men need In a woman, which is important for women to know, but men need to remember this too. The world will tell you men that you need superficial qualities in a partner, but the Bible tells us what we truly need.

A lot is asked of Christian men. Jesus’ knew there was a struggle to remain good in a world full of sin, and advised his disciples to, “Be innocent as doves, yet shrewd as serpents.” Jesus understood the chaotic conditions we’d be living in. This blog post isn't about what men want, but what we need. In order to explain this I’d like to give women some context in which men live in, and the realities we have to deal with in this world. I want to explain why we act the way we do. Sometimes we can be sweet and sensitive, yet other times we are super irrational. If this is going to be honest, you need to understand why we act the way we do before I can answer any questions you ladies might have. Men are basically stuck behind enemy lines. The Bible tells us what a man of God should be, but the world has a completely different idea about what that is, causing us to struggle to find where we stand. According to the Bible being a man is about loving our brothers and sisters, doing what’s right in spite of our fears, being a leader in our faith, following Jesus’s example, and spreading the gospel as far and wide as God leads us to. The world on the other hand tells us that a man should want to have sex all the time while we’re bombarded by images of sexualized women, a man should ignores his emotions, he should be a big oaf who loves sports and cars, and he should be aggressive in order to prove his manhood. Of course men fall short of this ridiculous standard. We begin to believe this is what a man is supposed to be, and it causes us to become insecure. Many women, no matter how beautiful they are, feel insecure because they believe they’re not pretty enough. They focus on minor imperfections and dwell on them. Well, in the same ways men feel this way, but instead of looks (or sometimes including their looks) men are made to feel as though they’re not man enough, based on the world’s standards. Christian men must navigate a world which gives us a twisted version of what a man is supposed to be, while at the same time trying to live by the Bible’s standard of what it means to be a man. This is a difficult path to navigate. The world holds us down and causes us to feel like we’re not good enough. We constantly try to prove ourselves as men and fail, which leads me to my first bit of advice for you ladies: Be strong Christian women. That’s what a Christian man needs. Spend time in the Word, know it and follow it, pursue God’s heart before you pursue ours, and help guide us. Genesis tells us that God made woman as our helper. In Hebrew the word for, “helper” is “ezer” which literally means, “Help Meet”. The Hebrew word for, “Help” is “azar” which means, “aid”. The word for, “Meet” is “Kenegdo” which means “corresponding to” and “equal to match.” All in all women are more than just a helper as we understand it, but instead she is a helper to someone in need, a equal match to someone that is missing something. As in Psalms 30 says, “Lord, listen and be gracious to me; Lord, be my helper.” Do you understand what an important role women play in the lives of men? They rescue us, partner with us, and love us. We’re lost without women, so forget the antiquated second class citizenship of the old Christian doctrine which describes women as the lowly helper or a servant to a master. God intended women to be our partner, and it’s what we men need in this world of lies and sin. Men are given the task of being the spiritual leader of their home. They are the head of their wife, as Christ is the head of the church. The problem is that we can’t do it alone. We’re human and we fail; we get lost and fall short. Our minds, insecurities, pride, spirit, and bodies pulling us in so many different directions, and we need your help in order to focus on the Lord. Sometimes we need a leader too, someone strong to hold our hand and guide us through the darkness, to encourage us when we feel we’re not good enough, to remind us of what The Lord wants of us when we forget. So be prepared, because even if we act like we have it all together, in all honesty we need you.

[tobeamantheguide]

We shall overcome because the Bible is right, 'You shall reap what you sow.' With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our world into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to speed up the day when justice will roll down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream. With this faith we will be able to speed up the day when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, and every man will sit under his own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid because the words of the Lord have spoken it.

--Martin Luther King Jr.