@tobemetobefree - Tumblr Blog

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#❤️ i hope everyone has a nice weekend #my chronotherapy attempt flew too close to the sun (got insomnia or something) and i've set myself backwards on fixing my #sleep schedule but i'll get there less ambitiously and more slowly with less sleep debt & i'm still excited about the future 🥰

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okay i'm looking at an article that defines the different sorts of vegetarians there are, trying to think of a quick label for myself ☺️ i'm like a

vegetarian* (minus root vegetables and the use of wood/stems), plus:

sustainable honey (afro-eurasian)

ahimsa silk

tree-free + recycled paper; so happy these exist since i also want to live a more analog life with less dependence on a laptop!

sparingly, for environmental reasons, rather than "cheating": milk, eggs

also sparingly for environmental reasons: anything shipped overseas

health needs: algae supplements for DHA and EPA, probiotics (i believe in them as they'd stopped an infection literally overnight when i'd thought i'd need to get meds ❕i love home remedies) and vinegar (i want to clean without dna damage and destroying the entire environment lol) (i'm just unsure how i feel about fermentation; i don't really want to consume yeast for fun - which i categorise differently from mushrooms, as mushrooms are fruit ☝️), sometimes garlic+turmeric+ginger since i have conditions they're helping me through (thinking of ceasing ginger completely since there are alternatives), basically anything out of pure necessity only like medical treatments, and buying secondhand as much as possible to reduce demand like some bamboo furniture i need and wool

* no meat & no pelts, no silk from domesticated larvae

i think i've already posted about. all of this before? but my philosophy about sanitation is that self defence is acceptable, as something else has already chosen violence (even if there wasn't malicious intent) which ik is just a slippery slope to reinventing heterotrophy but i'm doing my best here

i have mixed feelings about domestication because i believe some of it is sustainable and some of it is destructive

it's all very case by case

#i think ''vegan'' (or vegetarian depending on where i live 🍯🐝) for all intents and purposes functionally ++ annual ice cream #but i don't have a vegan mentality so i'm really more like a lacto-ovo vegetarian who doesn't think milk and eggs should exist as #food products we have for environmental reasons but doesn't think they hurt individual creatures to consume #(if i wouldn't starve to death doing it i'd actually be against the consumption of eggs AND seeds but if i'm going to eat seeds #i'm not going to judge other people for eating unfertilised eggs yk? not that i'd be judging other people anyway lol #i'm mostly doing all of this for largely personal reasons since i just feel devastated about harming potentially conscious organisms #+ environmental/sustainability reasons like dairy contributing to climate change so i feel guilty about supporting that anyway #but if i was less sensitive i'd probably be fine with sustenance hunting bc that's the circle of life but i Am sensitive. for me #it pretty much comes down to being an antinatalist.. or maybe for a less neurotic person just someone ok with heterotrophy asdfgh #or attempting a proto-transhumanist lifestyle and i've just. chosen the latter! i just don't like antinatalism's energy.. sinister ?#we can't change how life works especially with that attitude so i'm just doing my own thing pretty much)#i think it would be nice to have a personal food garden so i'd know it was harvested gently.. much to research #food tw #meat tw #a lot of this is also about ecofeminism ☺️❤️ my decision about seeds + positive feelings about fruits and bees + protectiveness #of all female animals + feeling i deserve to defend myself from harmful bacteria and violence + environmentalism as a whole #roses are my personal butch mascot because they're entirely edible and associated with love but they try to protect themselves from harm #edit: i don't 1000% agree with transhumanism like at all but i don't know a better word to use for ''i want to be like a plant so bad'' lol

funfettified

#food tw

everythingfox

Really enjoying the scritches

fantasmagoreia

taking a nap with non-24 makes everything on planet earth so so evil and unpredictable. i crashed four hours earlier than i was supposed to in my sleep cycle last night and woke up around when i should be going to bed, and then took another four hour crash only ten hours later????? and now i have absolutely no idea and no way to predict when i'll be going to sleep next. and this basically happens every time i take a nap. as i understand it, people with functioning circadian rhythms can actually have naps sometimes without ruining the whole next week of sleep and having to reschedule everything they had planned 😭

#i'm in the process of trying to fix my sleep schedule Once And For All and i need to be stricter about when it's my bedtime + that #i can't take naps 😭

sanseterrer

Far and gentle // part 2

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☺️ today i'm starting chronotherapy again (idk if i should be recommending that since i've heard it can give people non-24 but... i already seem to have that 😭) + tweaking my independence plan to make it easier for me since i can't work myself like a machine unfortunately

i'm proud of myself and i feel good about my future ❤️ i'm still getting better (:

#an article about what makes HSPs happy on highlysensitiverefuge.com made me break and decide to #slow down my plan a little as i really Can't do a 9-5 grind.. i need to have fun at least a couple of times a day or my #executive functioning turns itself off. 😔 i want to begin life asap but it is what it is!#(i feel like including the entire url to that website makes this post look like one of those discreet advertisements ashdh 😭? this #isn't a sponsored post.. 🙈 lol i thought writing Highly Sensitive Refuge would look like i could just be talking about #anything idk ashfhsdh #i don't know how i feel about the highly sensitive person identity because i don't need to recharge after any socialising #unless someone was being aggressive 😭 many articles mention introversion or ESP-like upsetting empathy and i just feel like compassion #- like i have cptsd ability to read moods iykyk but i don't literally feel someone else's emotions and i can handle anything but being #lashed out at sfdhfs i feel bad for sad people ofc but i wouldn't like need to be emotionally supported as a caregiver dykwim?#no one needs to be codependent with me please let urselves be ''burdens'' (: u do not need to apologise for suffering 💔 -#but am i a ''highly sensitive'' ''person''? yes..... and i need to have fun. ending this post relevantly and not on a new tangent <3)

fantasmagoreia

pretty unlikely but are there any other autistic people with non-24 sleep-wake disorder out there who experience this odd mix of distress and jubilation when your sleep schedule realigns with polite society? on one hand, i'm happy that i get like a week or so of actually feeling well-rested and awake at school and like i'm part of the world and society around me, but on the other hand, i get kind of used to being awake at 3am when everyone else is asleep and the world is quiet, so i get very distressed and get sensory overload more easily because i'm reliant on being awake in the middle of the night to help me regulate

taking a shot in the dark here, i know, but if anyone else knows what i'm talking about i'd love to connect. maybe people with other circadian rhythm or sleep disorders like insomnia might also relate?