Meta-Modernity

"Sins? Crawling up MY back?" --- It's more likely than you think.

[vampiresdontsleep]

[autismfox]

Someone else come fuck that guy for me

[thenyanguardparty]

[tobias-oliver]

I'm honestly really sick of constantly being the person to come up with everything. I tend to be the one in my friend groups who plans our get-togethers. I'm the one in relationships who decides where we go to eat. And even though I do delegate those choices when I can, I still feel the constant pressure to be the decision-maker, so that even the simplest tasks become infuriatingly overwhelming.

That's honestly why choosing where to eat becomes complicated. There's definitely the occasional cravings that are simple enough to fulfill, but then there's also the occasional discussion of where to eat. I'm not as picky as I once was, but it seems like most people are the same way-- they don't mind where we go to eat as long as there's something there that they can eat. And yet, if it's left up to me and only me, I get overwhelmed by the possibilities.

If there's a lot of places within driving distance, there's a lot of factors to consider: what time of day is it? How much money can I afford to spend? Fast food or sit down restaurant? How many people are eating? How are we splitting the payment? Are we good to go through a drive through and then go back to someone's house to eat? Does anyone have any allergies or sensitivities? And, most fickle of all, how am I feeling?

So, when I tell someone to decide where to eat, I'm often seriously requesting that they take a mental load off of me. I'm not trying to be courteous, unless it's someone I don't know well. Even then, it'll be much easier on everyone if they decide where to go. I've got too much anxiety and too many other Big Important Adult Things to spend spoons on.

[severalowls]

No song nor poetry can convey tragedy like a cat who wants through a door

[severalowls]

[persephinae]

HOLY SHIT WHAT???

[thebiscuiteternal]

Willingham Sends Fables Into the Public Domain

Here, below, is the press release I sent out today to explain what I did and why.

Since I can’t afford to sue DC, to force them to live up to the letter and the spirit of our long-time agreements; since even winning such a suit would take ridiculous amounts of money out of my pocket and years out of my life (I’m 67 years old, and don’t have the years to spare), I’ve decided to take a different approach, and fight them in a different arena, inspired by the principles of asymmetric warfare. The one thing in our contract the DC lawyers can’t contest, or reinterpret to their own benefit, is that I am the sole owner of the intellectual property. I can sell it or give it away to whomever I want. I chose to give it away to everyone. If I couldn’t prevent Fables from falling into bad hands, at least this is a way I can arrange that it also falls into many good hands. Since I truly believe there are still more good people in the world than bad ones, I count it as a form of victory.

[depsidase]

[starsail-main]

True and awesome: https://www.vice.com/en/article/5gk4jz/this-canadian-artist-halted-pipeline-development-by-copyrighting-his-land-as-a-work-of-art-983

[tobias-oliver]

CW: SA

I've been thinking a lot recently about a situation that I don't know all the particulars of, so I feel I can't judge it. But I still feel obligated to act a certain way.

One of my friends went through an abusive relationship where the other person made them have sex even when they didn't really want to. Once I learned that that was the situation, I was very willing to pretty much treat the abuser as a social pariah for the sake of my friend, since the abuser was friendly with me beforehand and didn't, I felt, deserve my friendliness any longer.

I found this hard to put into practice, though. I was willing to keep my distance when I could and didn't seek out the person who abused my friend, but when they would reach out to me in friendliness, I didn't want to appear rude. My friend told me that they didn't want people to know what had transpired, so I felt that suddenly being rude to someone I had previously had no problem with would give away the fact that something had happened. Still, in my heart, I have never forgiven the abuser for what they did to my friend, and I've made an active effort to avoid them.

Imagine my surprise when a few years later, I saw my friend talking with a group of people who included their former abuser. I wasn't sure what to do, but I knew that I should do something. So I went up and struck up a conversation with my friend, eventually pulling them away from the group and mentioning that if they needed to use talking to me as an excuse to escape, I'd be more than willing to help them.

No, they didn't want my help, although they appreciated it. And in fact, after we talked for a bit, they wanted to go back to that group. I couldn't understand why, but of course I wasn't going to stop them, since they didn't want my help. I let them go.

Throughout this entire situation, I've felt like that no matter what I've done, it's been wrong. My friend didn't want this to be a big deal, so I tried to act like nothing was the matter and subtly intervene when I felt it might be needed. But I still wonder if it's possible or right for me to let what happens happen.

I see everywhere, "if you see something, say something." But my friend doesn't want that. I hear all over that if someone does something to a friend, you have to stand up for them. But my friend doesn't want that. They just want to move on. I don't know that that's okay, but I also don't want to lose this friendship.

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[tobias-oliver]

Sucks to be the douche who ghosted me on the day we were supposed to hook up. I wiped my asshole with a ✨️scented✨️ wipe for you 🖕

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 8

Numb--

But there’s a pain in my hand that won’t go away.

Numb--

But there’s a word on my lips, I won’t say it--

“Stay.”

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 7

Death would be kinder than this.

I would merely slip away,

Perhaps in agony, but knowing

(At least knowing)

That a blissful sleep awaits

On the other side of the pain.

This pain holds no such mercy.

It lets me heal only to rip me apart

Again and again and again

(And again and again).

There is no joy in waiting

For each new wound to mend.

They only make me numb,

Waiting faithfully for the prickling,

Peeling sensation-- the only feeling

(Is pain even a feeling?)

I allow myself, in hopes that

One day, everything will stop.

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 6

You make me sick;

The word-vomit creeps ever further up my throat.

It tingles in my fingers,

Makes my toes point across the road.

The illness draws my eyes

Like a bird flying past me; I am too human to avoid looking.

I watch it as it dances,

Lights flashing before my eyes.

I am unwell, undoing

The button of my shirt to the tune of

“you’re not here.”

The only song my mind sings,

“I miss you, I miss you.”

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 5

I know where you stand,

Silent,

On the field.

I tip my hat down to hide my eyes;

I can’t trust myself to look at you.

I know where you stand,

Silent,

Beside friends.

I walk in the opposite direction

To avoid meeting you there.

I know where you stand,

Silent,

In the line.

I meet your eyes,

And there’s nothing between us.

I know where you stand,

Silent,

In my mind.

No matter what scenarios I cook up,

It always ends with us splitting up.

And that’s what you want,

Isn’t it?

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 4

I used to cut to make the pain

Worse and better.

I used to deny that I was feeling

Agony.

I used to cry less,

But there’s nothing to stop me now.

I remember when I first read

The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

I didn’t read the whole thing--

Just the poems.

The words cut deep.

But not as deep as the scissors

I carried in my backpack.

I used to write poems to make you feel

Worse and better.

I used to talk to you about

Agony.

I used to cry more,

But there’s nothing to help me now.

There’s nothing to keep the tears flowing,

But they need to go--

They need to go somewhere.

Maybe if I

Cut both damn wrists

The tears would finally

Flow out

Blood red.

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 3

I can’t find

Words strong

Enough to

Decide what

My feelings are

Towards you.

Maybe if I

Was smarter

I could escape

Into the pages

Of my notebook.

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 2

don’t fucking look at me

you make me want to claw out my insides

i’ll offer them to you on a silver platter

if you will only accept

my

still

beating

red

heart

[tobias-oliver]

Poem 1

Why do you have to look at me with sad eyes?

I couldn’t handle losing you,

And you look at me with sad eyes.

I can’t help being mad,

And you look at me with sad eyes.

I want to stop breathing,

And you look at me with sad eyes.

Don’t make me come back to you

Begging and pleading for love.

I’ll do it, but if you don’t say say yes

I won’t be able to go on.

Why do you have to look at me with sad eyes?

I don’t need your sadness, but I need you,

And you look at me with sad eyes.

I can’t handle your pity,

And you look at me with sad eyes.

I’d kill to be yours again,

And you look at me with sad eyes.

I remember the day we got together;

We were so nervous and so young.

We’re older now and everything’s changed,

But that doesn’t mean we should be done.

Why do you have to look at me with sad eyes?

It doesn’t make it better,

And you look at me with sad eyes.

[tobias-oliver]

Can someone be racist and still be a good person?

I’m talking, they respect people in general and have healthy relationships with BIPOC individuals, but they say the wrong things sometimes. I’m talking, they attend support groups and read books and try their absolute damnedest to understand, but they won’t stand up to their family members because “that’s just how they were raised.” I’m talking, they want to make the world a better place for everyone who lives in it, but they don’t see how banning critical race theory is making it harder for teachers to show kids the truth that history reveals.

Can someone be doing everything they can to understand and still, just… not?

[tobias-oliver]

I just realized that this post looks like I’m “asking for a friend.”

I definitely have a ways to go in terms of understanding racism and its terrible impact, and I may never fully understand it. But I do my best to self-educate, and I’m always open to learning more.