i feel so empty that the beating of my heart makes me sick to my stomach
why does no one desire me
what is wrong with me

#extradirty

if i look back, i am lost
Misplaced Lens Cap

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@tobythemeowmeow
i feel so empty that the beating of my heart makes me sick to my stomach
why does no one desire me
what is wrong with me
i shall not repent for my sins; as my sins make my being whole.
As long as I can remember, all I’ve ever wanted was to be someone’s number one; to be the life of the party because in my head and in my soul, I feel so alone. I don’t think anyone will understand my motive. I have more memories than I can count. I don’t tell everyone what has happened to me because it’s too much to handle. I don’t think they would believe or listen to me either. I want to matter. I want someone who craves me, but am I worthy? Am I good enough to deserve that? How could someone with so many burdening emotions earn that pure love from another? Am I deserving? Am I a burden? Will I ever gain a spot so dear in someone’s heart that they love me throughout all of my senseless insecurities?
i be in the lincon off the bars n taking shots baddie baddie shot o clock gucci mane n topoppgen
it was my birthday, there was a football game on. my brothers all came over. i thought it was for me, but they cared more about a score on the screen than the candles on my cake.
i remember sitting in the grass on the front lawn, and crying because it was my day; they cared more about a screen than me.
was i not important enough?
i wanted them to play with me, to see me, to just pay attention, and love me.
i started asking if i was worthy.
did i do something evil to deserve this?
i dressed up all by myself, i cleaned the tears off my face by myself, and from that day on ive tried to never ask anyone for anything.
never depend on another because people will dissapoint you.
i dont know which way im going
designer drugs and clothing
im high as fuck, im golden
remember me as something beautiful
so the pain ive endured was worth it
i just want something to look forward to again
all i want in this life is to be remembered
no one had thought to ask
no one had wanted to pay attention
no one had shown that theyd care
when you show me i finally feel good enough
i worship no one as i fought my battles by myself
i do not belong to a higher power i belong to myself
i have no savior i fought for myself
Date idea i get disgustingly drunk and beg you to hit me
'Kitty's Dream of Fairyland ' by Louis Wain, (1860 - 1939).
unveil my truest form
tear me apart
withstand the illness face your illusions
stagnation is slow sufferance, hidden behind a mirage of calamity.
you only stay in place because you are too frightened. pick up your feet and move on.