...but in the end it doesn’t even matter
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...but in the end it doesn’t even matter
everything is fine but i wish i was dead
perché io no
Aggiornamenti: il dca non è più un problema per me dopo due anni (almeno per il momento) ma mi sento talmente vuota che non riesco più ad alzarmi la mattina ed il momento più bello della giornata è quando mi metto a letto.
Christmas nails 💅
What I eat in a day of anorexia recovery WITH CALORIES COUNTING
Cosa mangio in un giorno di recovery dall’anoressia CON CONTEGGIO DI CALORIE
•Breakfast: Vanilla yogurt + puffed spelled (155kcal)
Colazione: Yogurt alla vaniglia + farro soffiato (155kcal)
•Lunch: “Cacio e pepe” pasta (IDK)
Pranzo: Pasta cacio e pepe (non lo so lol)
•Snack: 1 apple (IDK)
Merenda: 1 mela (non lo so)
•Dinner: Bresaola (80g) and rocket with extra virgin olive oil + crackers (350kcal)
Cena: Bresaola (80g) e rucola con olio extravergine d’oliva + crackers integrali (350kcal)
y’all ever just look at old pictures of yourself when you were thinner and wish you could go back? that’s literally depressing as fuck.
What I eat in a day TRYING TO RECOVER FROM ANOREXIA (again).
Cosa mangio in un giorno cercando di uscire dall’anoressia (di nuovo).
•Breakfast- Protein dessert LIDL/
Colazione- Dessert proteico della LIDL
•Lunch- Rice (60g), tuna (100g) and small tomatoes (130g) + extra virgin olive oil
Pranzo- Riso (60g), tonno (100g), pomodorini (130g) + olio extravergine d’oliva
•Snack- 1 apple
Merenda- 1 mela
•Dinner- Caesar salad (with chicken, 1 egg, bacon and cheese) + crackers
(dinner was FROM THE RESTAURANT)
Cena- Insalatona caesar (con pollo, 1 uovo, pancetta e scaglie di parmigiano) + pacchetto di crackers integrali
(la cena l’ho ordinata al RISTORANTE)
Now I feel guilty but it’s okay.
Ora mi sento in colpa ma va bene.
TW
domani sono 2 settimane di “dieta”,
da domani però inizio ad intensificarla, non voglio superare le 1000kcal al giorno. Non mi importa di avere una ricaduta, sto già male adesso quindi sti cazzi, almeno ritorno magra.
Spoiler: quelle 2 settimane sarebbero diventate quasi 3 mesi, che ti hanno fatta sprofondare di nuovo molto tristemente nel tuo fottutissimo dca.
When I restrict, I lose more than just weight. I lose:
- my energy to do the things I love
- my smile
- brain space for learning and growth
- relationships. They always suffer.
- joy and excitement around my favorite meals/food
- any bit of love and acceptance I may have for my body
- the ability to be active because my muscles are weak and my brain is foggy
- my ability to concentrate at work or in conversations with people I love
- self compassion
- meaningful time spent with family and friends because my brain is stuck on ED thoughts
- enjoyment of meals out with friends/family
- having a life and identity that doesn’t surround my ED
- spontaneous ice cream runs
- overall health and wellness
I’m using this list as a reminder right now to not give in. The minute I do, the minute a happy part of my life begins to suffer.