Slaying Strong

30🌈 ED recovery - 10.28.18

[slaying-strong]

If you’re reading this, this is a gentle reminder that you are enough -- as is, right now. 

[hug-your-face]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[recoverr-a-deactivated20210530]

the thing about recovery is that you need to actively choose it.. even and especially when you relapse, you need to start again, over and over and over, as many times as needed. just know that by choosing recovery you’re on your way to something brighter, bolder and better. i love you.

[vintage-tigre]

[serenee-queen]

Cate Blanchett in Carol(2015)

[petaltexturedskies]

Susan Sontag, from an interview conducted c. October 1979

[pnglove]

© kitagar

[slaying-strong]

I don’t think I’ve ever cried in front of my PCP until today. I got weighed at my annual appointment and am the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’ve been so uncomfortable in my own skin and clothes lately and now that I have a number, it solidifies these feelings and suspicions. My therapist talks sometimes about how it’s “perceived weight gain” related to body dysmorphia and I remember telling her no, it’s not perceived. It’s factual. My clothes don’t fit well anymore, that’s a fact. Not in my head. Now I have a number to prove it. Idk what I’m going to do. I know the “logical and recovery focused” answer is to do nothing. To embrace it. I don’t think I can and quite frankly, I don’t want to. My wife and I are moving to a new state in a few weeks for her fellowship so I am going through a major transition time. I will need a new therapist, a new PCP etc. which I am reallllly dreading. I considered going without a therapist for a bit because i felt like I was in a decent place, but now I think that would be really risky.

[yourtryhard]

[unreadable]

[365dressestome]

2026 Red Carpet Best Dressed 138/365

Cate Blanchett Wore Givenchy To The "Garance" Screening at the 79th Cannes Film Festival

[slaying-strong]

I think I just need to rant into the ether about how exhausting social media is lately with beauty standards and the way that being skinny feels like it is ultraaaa trendy. It’s a bad time to be someone in recovery from an eating disorder, let me tell ya. I’ve worked extremely, extremely hard to get to where I am in my recovery and I hate to say it, but my body image is so so poor rn and has been for the last few months that I truly feel like I am wavering and if I’m not careful, I’m totally fucked. I know I’m not the same person I was when I first started my recovery, so therefore recovering from a relapse would be very different and doesn’t mean I’m starting from zero. I just feel so incredibly weak, tired, self critical, and disgusted. That is all.

[desultory-suggestions]

I hope you are kind to your body today, even if you don't think you deserve it.

[recoveryposting]

make no mistake, the society we have built around us would rather see you skinny and dead than fat and alive. they might even convince you that you yourself would rather be skinny and dead. that's what's so evil about eating disorders, theyre practically built in to our lives. luckily for us, WE built this society, and we can change it too. step off the scales and dont let them win any longer.

[jailbirdbaby]

[wickedwitches]

cate blanchett ( galerie )

credit: atlantis

[in-love-with-movies]

Carol (2015)