It's me!

A roleplay side blog for Todd from the Netflix series Bojack Horesman. You will be followed by: Bluteamblueprints.

[askboxmemes2013]

Break my muse in 15 words or less.

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

Number 13. Dolls. Curses.

Curses: Does your muse believe in good/bad luck? How about karma?

“I think I do. I mean- not really? It’s sort of confusing. I’ve seen bad people have nothing but great things happen to them, and good people with nothing but bad things happen to them.” 

Number 13: Does your muse believe any superstitions?

“Not really, to be honest” he told them.

Dolls: Has your muse ever collected something?

“I used to collect action figures, but... I had to get rid of them all.”

[sidestuiff]

Reblog if your muse has been shot at.

[rpmemeaholic]

Icebreakers I

[justawildmemes]

"Excuse me, but you’ve got a little something on your face there."

"Well... this is awkward."

"I guess this is the part where we shake hands and say 'nice to meet you', right?"

"I've seen you here before, but I guess I just never had the courage to say hello before."

"I'm so excited to finally meet you in person! I've always dreamed of this."

"Sorry, but, um... am I the only one confused here? Why hasn't anyone else showed up?"

"Watch out!"

"Am I dead? Are you an angel?"

"Okay, okay, listen. I miiiiight have had a little too much, and I miiight need someone to help me get home. You look trustworthy, so let's go."

"I'm sorry--please, can you help me?"

"I look forward to working with you."

"I look forward to serving you."

"Stay still! I'm trying to stop the bleeding!"

"I'm not trying to be nosy or anything, but... I've been seeing you here a lot lately, always by yourself. I just wanted to say, if you have anything on your mind, I'd listen."

"Um, I know you don't know me, but I think what you did back there was very brave."

"Some weather we're having, huh?"

[horrificmemes]

Send my muse anons pretending to be someone they care about. The twist: make these anons as heartbreaking, disappointing, or anger-inducing as possible.

Pretend to give them bad news, pretend to break up with them, pretend to make an upsetting confession - as long as it hurts, it’s fair game.

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

“ shut up! shut the fuck up! “ iamanangcl

Todd blinked for a moment. His mouth hung open mid sentence. He wasn’t too sure what to say, or if he could say anything in response. 

“Sorry” he finally said, turning his head slightly downwards. 

[idunnohaveameme]

🎃Anonymously suggest my muse a costume for Halloween!👻

[lunarchld]

Send my muse one of the following texts to see how they react:

[text] I can’t take you seriously when you’re using that many emojis.  [text] Im not drunk eveyone is just blurry [text] Could you be anymore dramatic?  [text] You need more friends… or a therapist…  [text] All you do all day is sit around and google pictures of baby animals!  [text] I just miss you. That’s all.  [text] New rule.. every time you say his name I get to punch you. [text] You’re going to hell for sure now.  [text] Why is there a life size cardboard cut out of Harry Styles in my bedroom? [text] I really don’t care…  [text] Oh no, I’m not doing that again. [text] I’ve seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy like 3 times. I practically have a PhD. [text] Do whatever you want. I don’t even care anymore.  [text] Can’t talk now.. too busy eating ice cream and watching House Hunters International.  [text] We’re not watching Frozen again.  [text] I have no idea what you’re talking about…  [text] You’ve got waaaay too much time on your hands.  [text] Are you trying to bribe me with sex?  [text] I just don’t think moving in together is a very good idea… [text] Because you’re pissing me off!  [text] You left your sweatshirt here. It’s mine now.  [text] I need to tell you something but you have to promise not to get mad.  [text] What did I say about sending me pictures like that while I’m at work?  [text] Wait… are you serious? [text] I accidentally just called my mom a bitch to her face and now I have to run away. [text] I’m just saying that you look a lot better without clothes on! [text] I know that we don’t always get along but I really do miss you.  [text] Pictures or it didn’t happen!  [text] I’ll accept apologizes in the form of food or sex.  [text] I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry please just pick up the phone. [text] That’s really inappropriate…  [text] I don’t know if I should be embarrassed or proud…  [text] You’ll never guess who just texted me.  [text] I hate my life right now about as much as Robert Pattinson hates Twilight.

[horrificmemes]

Fear-Themed Headcanon Questions

Send one (or a few) to my muse and they’ll answer: 

Spiders: Does your muse squish bugs or put them outside? The Dark: Did your muse sleep with a nightlight as a child? Snakes: Would your muse ever keep an unusual/exotic pet? Blood: What’s the worst injury your muse has ever had? Clowns: Does your muse prefer comedy? Or horror? Mirrors: What is your muse’s least favorite thing about their appearance? Tight Space: Does your muse ever feel that they’re not living up to their own potential? Closet Monsters: Does your muse hide any aspects of their personality/life from others? Crowds: What does your muse think of big cities? Death: Name one thing your muse has lost that they wish they could get back. Ghosts: Has your muse ever seen something they couldn’t explain? Needles: Does your muse have a strong stomach? Curses: Does your muse believe in good/bad luck? How about karma? Heights: Is your muse a risk-taker? Solitude: Name 3 things your muse couldn’t live without. Fire: Would your muse rather be very cold, or very hot? Failure: Has your muse ever given up on an important dream? Abandonment: How would your muse win back someone who left them? The Unknown: Is your muse a philosophical person? Boogeyman: What position does your muse sleep in? Falling: What does your muse think about falling in love or commitment?  Change: What was a turning point in your muse’s life? Disease: What does your muse do on a sick day? Number 13: Does your muse believe any superstitions?  Noise: Name one sound your muse finds absolutely unbearable. Insects: Name something your muse finds gross or annoying.  Dolls: Has your muse ever collected something? Getting Old: Would your muse rather live 50 years loved, or 200 years alone? Social Phobia: Does your muse consider themselves an outgoing person?

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

◈

“Another thing?” Todd thought for a moment. 

“I’d tell him  that things will work out, you know? That he’s not a total screw up, hell, even that some of his screw ups will lead to bigger and better things.”

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

◈

“I can think of a few things I’d tell my younger self…”

Todd said, a hint of wonder in his voice.  “I think the most important one would be to take your time figuring out who you are, it’s going to take a while, and that’s okay. “

[musesgonnamuse]

Send ◈ to hear something my muse wishes they could tell their younger self.

[rpmemes-galore]

Reblog if your muse has ever spent a night in jail… 

[dovingmemes]

random sentence starters

random sentences for any / multiple scenario(s). change around as you see fit.

“ who do you think you are? “

“ wait , did you just say you love me? “

“ please just … leave me alone. “

“ i’m so happy! “

“ is this a gift for me? “

“ hey! i’ve got something for you! wait right here! “

“ i love you. “

“ shut up! shut the fuck up! “

“ who told you that?! i didn’t say that! “

“ w — what? “

“ … i’m sorry. “

“ what? ME have a crush on YOU? whaaaaaat?! haha! what? pfft … shut up! “

“ bitch , guess what? “

“ oh my god … “

“ fuck you to fucking hell! “

“ man … go to hell. “

“ what did you just send me? “

“ what did you just say? “

“ they’re totally checking you out right now. “

“ jealous?! i’m not jealous! “

“ are you jealous? “

“ wow … you’re hot when you’re angry. “

“ wow … your smile is breathtaking. “

“ you’re so stupid. “

“ okay! that’s it! put your dukes up! “

“ you don’t want me. “

“ question , you’re not dating anyone , are you? “

“ let me take you out on a date. “

“ i swear to god i’m going to scream at the top of my lungs. “

“ no! don’t tickle me! “

“ i’m not good for you , trust me. “

“ no offense but i’m out of your league. “

“ so , how does it feel to know me? a blessing , isn’t it? “

“ … why does this card say ‘ happy 3rd birthday ‘? “

“ so what will it be tonight? “

“ please , let me listen to celine dion in the dark in peace. “

“ i don’t love you. “

“ you don’t love me. “

“ … is there something you want? “

“ you know , you’re really cute. “

“ god , just let me fucking love you , you idiot! “

“ shh … don’t cry. “

“ i just feel like everything is falling apart. “

“ DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! “

“ hello darkness my old friend … “

“ so … do i get a goodnight kiss? “

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

museplethora‌:

“Well sort of. He introduced me, but then kinda just kept talking and talking. He can really bark up a storm when he gets all excited.” She would have liked to get to know Erica more. She had as many crazy things happen to her as Todd did apparently. If she ever wanted to though, she’d probably have to get her one on one like this. Mister could really keep a conversation going all by himself. Not that she minded it all that often.

“But anyways, have you had anything totally wild happen to you lately? I bet the stories are like way crazier when told in the first person.”

Todd chuckled slightly “he really can, can’t he” he said “this one time, we were in a meeting, and I swear he talked for just about the whole time, he must have had 15 different ideas in a row. It was great. Unfortunately, I can’t remember most of them.” Todd shrugged “you remember some you forget some I guess.” 

Stories about him? Huh. Todd w as a bit surprised to find that someone wanted to hear his stories “did you hear about the time I counted to a million? Or! The time I was in two prison gangs? Oh! How about the time I accidentally became govern of California?” 

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

museplethora‌:

She smiled, glad she was so readily accepted by the other. Granted, he seemed super approachable. Unlike most of the people her fiance hung out with, Todd just seemed more… not scary and intimidating? Granted, she didn’t let her fear hold her back. She had to keep up with her husband’s lifestyle, so learning how to mix with his friends and peers were kind of a top priority. Still, it was nice to feel like she didn’t have to put on her try hard pants for once.

“Hah, I would hope so! I mean, he doesn’t really talk about me much when I’m around. I guess maybe cause that would be weird. But he’s always going on about you and Erica!”

He chuckled a bit, listening to her speak. Todd was happy yo have another person around to talk to it was great. Especially someone closer to his age. 

“He doesn’t talk to me about me either” he said “it would be a bit, awkward to do. And Erica! Oh she is great. Have you gotten the chance to meet her yet? I feel like you two would really hit it off. She;s usually at most events he is.”

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

Closed starter

[toddtoddtoddtodd]

saccharineheiir‌: 

“He’s better at drinking than he is at listening. But that’s a family matter.”

She pondered the thought for a moment, unsure of what to think. But she wasn’t in the nursing home at the moment.

“I might as well see the sights. My son can’t bother to get me out of the nursing home but his assistant can. Last time I was out, people were wearing those t-shirts with nonsense written on. I hope I don’t need to get too close to people like that.”

“Those shirts still exist” Todd told her “but they aren’t as popular as they were a few years a go. I have seen some pretty funny ones” he chuckled a bit, remembering them. 

He turned his head, as the coffee maker made a soft sound “oh, that’s the coffee” he said hopping down from the stool. Todd poured it into a mug ans walked it over to Beatrice. 

“Here you are Mrs Horseman, plain black coffee.”