HONETEI

Maori, New Zealand, based in Melbourne, Australia. Live my culture, Breathe my culture. Native/Indigenous power to the max. /Gemini/

[michellechang]

me at age 12 trying to figure out how to clear the browser history on the family computer after searching “shirtless boys” on google images

[partialbirthabortion]

a society that allows people to starve when there is food has failed. like. that’s it.

[trapcard]

Aliens are real and as soon as they land im snitchin to them on white people yalls days are numbered.

[flowisaconstruct-deactivated202]

Wouldn’t that be hilarious if the aliens literally did not see color? They’d be like “You all look the same to us. Your entire species.”

[trapcard]

I’m snitching on you first specifically.

[barbieofcolour-deactivated20211]

when your parents are giving you lectures on life lessons you’ve already learned through traumatic experiences they don’t know about 

[relishboi]

they gave elastigirl the main role in incredibles 2 to make up for the fucked up shit they made her do in the first one

[airfierce-deactivated20201208]

okay first of all she is their MOTHER and she did NOTHING less than keeping her family SAFE

[hungerlifeagain]

[genntrygenntry]

[bob-belcher]

[taylortut]

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

[taylortut]

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything 

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

You pleased a mad fae trickster

[gotouda]

some guy at the mens bathroom was like oi whatre you doin here and i was like wym im not a girl and he was like aw fuck sorry you just got beautiful features and fist bumped me

[gotouda]

this is so iconic we stan whoever this man was

[mexicanheaux]

If you live in the socal area and are/ know someone undocumented please be careful when going to Walmart or to be safe just don’t go in general ICE has been known to go in there

[mexicanheaux]

This isn’t information that can sit in your likes guys I’m not trying to guilt trip but this is life or death please reblog and spread

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

[codyslipring-deactivated2015060]

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

[tumblgang]

She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.

[skuubasally]

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

[luckytaters]

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

[saudadesinfinitas-deactivated20]

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

[drayaintshit-deactivated2019030]

☝🏾😂

[callmedeku24]

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

[emeraldmercury]

Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her

[haiku-robot]

idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

[jacobmick]

Because wise, I am.

[seymonecristina]

Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys

[thebootydiaries]

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before. 

That changes today. 

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say. 

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“ 

Suddenly, silence. 

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice. 

He is moved. 

“Aight”.

[thebootydiaries]

My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I can’t let my lily-white friends down. Not again.

The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.

All I can hear is heavy breathing.

“Hello….” I say quietly, my voice shaking. “Is….. Is this Muslim?”

There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer “ya lol.”

“I was thinking………..” I begin cautiously. “Maybe murder is…………bad.”

“Habibi, I…..I don’t understand. What are you trying to say….?” The voice seems shaken.

“What if…….world peace is good and killing people is…………not good”

He lets out an audible gasp. “Are you saying ISIS is…….bad?”

“Maybe death is…….not good.” I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.

The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. This…. This could end terrorism.

“Muslim….Please.” I whisper.

I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearing™, and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.

“Kk.”

[femboy-genius-deactivated202407]

wow! you’re a hentai lover AND you’re racist? 

[thefruitthatgodforgot]

Funny how sex is an irresistible human urge when a man rapes a woman but when a woman gets pregnant and wants an abortion she should have been smarter and thought twice before having sex if she didn’t want a child

[feminismcollectives]

My reblog speed tho -

[pup-fiction]

[futubandera-cl]

[oddishtea]

I’ve watched this like 30 times and I cant stop laughing aksjska

[afrodyketee]

That is feminism

[robinsnose]

@ruf1ohn1tram

[screengeniuz]

😂 OMG

[sbrown82]

Lightweight! 😂😂