❥ 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇 [ 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 ] .
sentence starters inspired by trixie mattel & katya zamolodchikova’s web series ‘ UNHhhh ’ !! some quotes have been slightly modified to be more usable . change gendered language & add context to your needs . mature language & themes warning !! happy roleplaying !! ♡
“ if you wanna fuck my mom , that is none of my business . ” “ i knew this was gonna happen & i still got scared . ” “ i used to pray to god to take away my ass hair . ” “ they can put a fuckin’ man on the moon , but i can’t get laid . ” “ if there was a god we would call them hot gods , not hot dogs . ” “ i was a little bit turned on by the feeling of being desirable . ” “ guys always say my asshole tastes like a penny . ” “ why did i pick today , of all days , to turn it this hard . ” “ i have one toe out so that people from the bible can’t eat me . ” “ if you want nice feet , you gotta kill yourself . ” “ i wanna put the romance in necromancer . ” “ i just wanna suck a dick . ” “ have you ever had a pet run away & find it ? ” “ i had a lizard that i burnt . ” “ i look like a half - washed potato . ” “ next thing i know i woke up with blue paint on my butt . ” “ you don’t have any talent . you’re just a big bowl of noodles in the shape of a person . ” “ i am extremely lonely . ” “ all my internal organs became applesauce & just oozed out of my asshole . ” “ you look horrible . ” “ i wanna fuck a sexy priest . ” “ my shoe flew off & the heel hit somebody right in the eyeball . ” “ i can’t succeed in health & happiness without you plummeting . ” “ if you’ve sucked dick once , that doesn’t make you gay . ” “ the straight kids are gonna make fun of me . ” “ are you gonna cry at my funeral ? ” “ i don’t think you’re ever gonna die . ” “ you shut up & get outta town . ” “ i can relax anywhere . i just choose not to . ” “ wigs are so fun . it’s so fun to play with wigs . ” “ if i say it quietly , it doesn’t sound like i mean it . ” “ i just observe & i notice things & when you lie about them , i bring them up . ” “ i’m thankful for two things : violence & hair care . ” “ i went to belgium recently , why didn’t i get involved in a jewel heist ? ” “ do i have enough blush on ? ” “ i wanna do crime on you . ” “ i’m gonna shove a cheeseburger up my ass . ” “ ingest positivity , shit out the haters . ” “ that’s what people do when they get horny , they die . ” “ sometimes doggy style starts to feel like a read . ” “ i hate to be wrong . ” “ you may deserve love , but you won’t get it tonight . ” “ what award would you give to me ? ” “ i’ve finally lost contact with reality . ” “ why am i old ? why am i fat ? ” “ i love myself , but i don’t like the way i am . ” “ i’m not in a position to tell anybody what to do . ” “ i know what to do . i just don’t do it . ” “ if you’re stressed out about your racist aunt or uncle , you can physically assault them . ” “ i punched my uncle in the name of justice . ”
