I’ve Been Telling You I’m The Villain

[toldyouimthevillain]

I just hurt

Nothing changes

[toldyouimthevillain]

I feel like I struggle so hard to have any sort of confidence in myself since being with my partner. I feel like he should make me feel supported and confident in myself but instead he does the exact opposite. Every time I start to feel a little confident in myself and like I might actually know some things he always just shows me how I’m wrong and I don’t know anything. It’s really fucking hard being so dumb and living with someone so smart. They say ignorance is bliss and I truly believe that. I feel like I’d be so much happier to be with someone else who isn’t as smart as my partner is, someone who I could actually be the one who knows something they don’t for once. My partner literally knows more about even my person interests than I do. Today’s subject was meditation, something I’ve been practicing for more than a decade and have learned about different kinds and all sorts of stuff over the years and in 30 seconds he was able to tell me how what I thought was wrong and show me proof of how what he knows was correct. He thinks meditation is bull shit, but I guess at some point during his collage years it was part of a class he had to take. I’ve only ever learned about it through things like yoga and karate classes and just online/books and stuff. It’s so infuriating to just be so dumb!

[toldyouimthevillain]

Truer words have never been said!

[toldyouimthevillain]

I wish I had a friend. I had some for a bit, and I was so happy. I genuinely believed they were good friends who would be there for me if I needed them, but that’s not how it works for me. I tried to do a lot to be a good friend to them, I tried to help them in the different ways they needed, only to be told later I didn’t do enough, I wasn’t giving enough. I tried, I really did, and I thought I was doing exactly what the second person who said that to me, had wanted.

To top everything off I typed out how I was feeling and what was going on with me this weekend here as a second paragraph and when I hit the “return” button it all deleted. I’m just so done. I just can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep going.

Im not okay.

[toldyouimthevillain]

So, I really think there is a dot there so it says $3.25 for those “haunted” dolls, but honestly… I’d be tempted for $325 too! 😂🤣😂

[toldyouimthevillain]

I don’t like him up there, so it’s his favorite place to lay 🙄

[toldyouimthevillain]

We know who we are, and we know why we play. 😂🤣😂

[rosavelle]

She is at a point in her life where she just wants to hug someone and tell them how tired and drained she really is. Someone who can make her feel safe, seen, secured, and protected.

[toldyouimthevillain]

Given all the words in the world and idk if I’d have ever been able to more adequately put this

[romessence]

The urge to deactivate everything.

[emotionalwords]

i was hurt too, but i'm always silent

[toldyouimthevillain]

I can’t even begin to describe the loneliness and hurt of being with someone who you so desperately want to be close to, but who has no desire to hold you or be close to you. And not because they don’t love you, you know they do, and maybe that’s what makes it worse and won’t allow any sort of desire to fully sever so the wound can properly heal. You know they love you and they want you around, but literally at arms length. There are no quiet moments, there is no peace when they are around, and they are always around.

I need to recover from them so that I can continue to be with them, but there is nowhere to go, nowhere to recharge. I’m afraid one day my battery, which is already blinking warning-red, will just simply stop, and everything will go dark.

[remanence-of-love]

[vexheart]

[toldyouimthevillain]

I crave this so fucking much

[nobita-here]

[xsadgoddessx]

Love to torture myself, apparently.

[toldyouimthevillain]

I’m just a masochist

[quotefeeling]

“I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.”

— Unknown

[toldyouimthevillain]

So true for every type of relationship. Whether romantic, friendship, or even family, if you have to convince someone you’re worth being around, they aren’t worth being around.

[toldyouimthevillain]

Uh… they’re literally engaged with the wedding date on the calendar.

[toldyouimthevillain]

Now he knows my secret!