"I wanna be all of them at once"

[tall]

[tim-lucy]

every tv ship i love ♥ clarke griffin & bellamy blake (the 100) “i’m not losing you again. come on, clarke. come on! clarke, clarke, i need you. now wake up! wake up, clarke! come on! i’m not letting you go.“

[eizagonzalezs]

GET TO KNOW ME: ♡ [4/15] Male Characters: ☆ Bellamy Blake (The 100)

Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

I love him your honor.

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[jackkdaniels]

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Dear Adrian, I miss hanging out. I miss your jokes and the way your presence just made everything more fun. But you moved away. And I fucking hate texting. But calling people has turned into an invasion of space or something that must be scheduled. And that feels like to much to ask for. Maybe I;m scared of the rejection or being a nuisance. I hate how hard it is to maintain adult friendships. I wish you would just move back. But I doubt you ever will.

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Dear me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I fucked up. I'm sorry I wasn't everything you wanted me to be when you needed it. But we've got to let it go. You, me, we, I did my best. I've got to move on. All I can do is try not to make the same mistakes. Take my knowledge and put it to good use. Try again. No more being chained by the past. Time to live in the here and now. Time to let go.

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Dear Wicked Step-Mother, God, you fucking suck. I don't know how awful your parents were to you, to make you like this but jesus fucking christ, you're the worst. You know, after talking about you with my therapist, she had me read a book on psychopaths? And if it turned out you were one, I wouldn't even be surprised. But for sure, you've got narcissistic personality disorder. And I've got to bring all this up because it helps me validate that I didn't deserve what you did to me. I'm still all fucked up in the head about it. That's what you fucking do to people. You make them question their goddamned sanity. I bet you love that too. Probably makes you all fulfilled n shit. And I can accept that you were awful to me and always will be and that's how it is. Nothing I can do about that. Whatever. But then I remember you're raising my nephew. And that I asked you to take him. And fuck I hate that so much. I didn't know what you are. Or I wouldn't have done it. I still don't know what I could have done instead. There were no good options. But I wish he wasn't with you. I'm terrified of what you're doing to him. The fucked up mind games you must be playing with him. How is he going to survive you? How is he going to be okay? This. This is what's so hard to accept. I pray he turns out okay anyway.

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 11 - The Person That Hurt You The Most

Dear Dad, It's not fair. I was such a good daughter. I looked out for you. I made sure people remembered your birthday and father's day and got you gifts. I told Shelbie to make Aiden's middle name yours. I was always thinking of you, trying to make you happy. I tried so hard to get to know you but you wouldn't let me. I asked to spend more time with you and you laughed in my face. And then you fucking betrayed me and sullied my name. All for that horrendous bitch you call a wife. How could you take my nephew away from me? How could you do that? How could you do that to him? You literally gave him abandonment issues and then told me it was my fault. You're a bad person. You're a bad father. I wish you weren't raising him. We all deserve better than what you gave us. It makes me so mad. I have so much pain inside me and I don't know how to get it out. And the worst part is, I still love you. I still miss you and want you. But you don't know how to love me. It hurts so bad to be your daughter. It hurts so bad to love you. And I feel so fucking sorry for you. Because I know you do these terrible things because you're fucked up in the head. You're parents did a shit job raising you. I think you must be so lonely and scared and insecure. You're desperate for Beth to love you and keep you and you're willing to sacrifice anything and everything for that. And its so sad. And I've been there. But I woke up and walked away. I wish you would too. But I don't think you ever will.

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 9 10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like

Dear Hawley, I miss you. It's such a fucking tragedy that you moved. You were like the best friend I ever made. Best in the sense that we could have been best friends. Like we have so much in common and get along so well. You just kept moving further and further from me. Literally and figuratively. I've had a lot of friends/acquaintances over the years but no one I clicked with as easily as you. And what a loss. Maybe I should try to call you more. But even that has to be scheduled. Why is it so hard being an adult?

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 8 - Your Trauma

I know part of healing is supposed to be thanking all the little parts of you that protected you along the way. But I don't want to right now. I just wanna be better. I don't want to be grateful that I learned to isolate, that I became hyper-vigilant and full of anxiety. I just want to be able to run errands with my husband without feeling like its going to break me. I just want to go through my day without feeling desperate for solitude. I just want to be free without being alone. I can feel this nervous energy inside me, this panic, this alarm system that won't shut down. Echos from a fire that's since been put out. I just want it to dissipate. I want the sound waves to stretch out into the ether until there is nothing left. But my body is an echo chamber and the screams are still here, separate from time. Someone tell my body its over. Let me rest.

[lyoneve]

It’s a high stress environment! Sometimes you just need your coworker to hold your hands for a bit…

[okmcintyre]

↳  Bellamy looking at Clarke as if she's his whole world since he came back down to earth.

[tomakeroomforthetuna]

30 Day Letter Challenge - Day 7 - Your Ex

Dear Jaren, You drunkenly tried to chat with me some time in the last couple years. I ended up telling you I didn't want to talk to you. I put so much fucking thought into it too. Whereas, you did not. You were just drunk and lonely. Typical. But the most fucked up part is, when I saw your message, that insecure little girl inside me came forward. I think the reason you and I happened is because you loved me that same way my dad did. Which is hardly at all. But in this thoughtless, careless, dismissive way that makes me feel like I'm not good enough. That makes me feel like I have to fight for and try to earn your love. But of course, I didn't realize this then. I only felt this desperation for you, for your affection, your yearning. And I never got it. Hard as I god damned tried, I never got it. Just destroyed myself. Threw myself at your feet to be your perfect doormat. Cut myself open to bleed ink for your pen. And I know that's all about my trauma. But you were such a fucking asshole to me. You never even fucking apologized. I made myself so small for you. How sad is that? So small you could never see me. You never will. There's nothing to be gained from talking to you. So I won't.

[sirpompet]

was pondering how cas would react if dean made an ‘ol ball and chain’ joke but then i remembered, dean would never fucking do that. the men at his normal job are complaining about their wife’s and they look at dean for him to add to the conversation and he’s stuffing his face with donuts like “ion know what y’all are talkin’ about i fuckin’ love my husband”

[colorlessjay-destielblog]

I will forever advocate for "Dean acts like an old timey 80s sitcom husband around Cas for the banter and fun, but talks about Cas like he's the best husband in the world to everyone else"

Hear me out

Like, he would come home from a 9 to 5, not even tired but acting like his boss was busting his ass all day going "Honey, I'm home! You're not gonna believe what the boys did this time" and pauses for an imaginary laugh track

And Cas responds with confusion, looking up from watching wheel of fortune "Since when did you work with children?"

At work, he's just happy to be doing normal person bullshit. Doing construction not even for the money, just for the aesthetic of eating a sandwich on a large steel beam. His co-workers talk about their wives and the nagging, and Dean is looking between all of them like he's watching a sitcom live. Not taking any of them seriously

And when asked, Dean just goes "You guys hate your wives so much, you should get a husband like I did" and then plays a laugh track in his head.

He has the "I love my wife" energy whenever he picks up the phone and it's Cas. His co-workers just hear him go "Hey sweetheart, miss me already? ❤️" Like he's a budding 20 year old freshly married and not a man in his mid 40s who's been through so much trauma. He's always so eager to clock out or bale on after work drinks cause he "Can't keep the hubby waiting!"

And like, he talks about Cas the same as he always does. Completely mischaractarizes him. Calls him a dorky lil old man. Says he's got the smile of an angel. Voice that he falls asleep to. That he looks at anything that lives as precious

And when his co-workers actually meet him, it's 6 feet of pure divine sass, wrapped up in a trenchcoat he refuses to take off under any circumstances. And Dean fawns over him like Cas is just adorably hilarious

And every time someone goes "That's your man?", Dean gets starry eyed and sighs dreamily "Yeah ❤️" and imagines an audience awing at him

TLDR; Dean copes with all the trauma he's been through by viewing his new retired life as a sitcom. He's not actually married to Cas, Cas is just trying to find a way to help Dean see the reality of his situation and get him to therapy without causing a psychotic break

[depsidase]

[warpedraven]

Ao3 going down and then up and then down again is making me realize I would genuinely be done for if ao3 was permanently deleted