[jame7t]

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

[liquidstar]

Thank god finally

[liquidstar]

Why is every single one of you tagging this saying "oh just like horseshoe crabs" why the hell do you all know how horseshoe crabs mate off the top of your heads?

[liquidstar]

What the fuck do you mean "because of the lesbian horseshoe crabs"

[memewhore]

[insufferablepirate]

Sound ON!!

[tombombadildos]

Honestly I keep Julian in my village to flirt with me, it’s great validation.

[sandmandaddy69]

[chellings]

[dambiex]

[nekotown]

[tombombadildos]

I love it when AC gets philosophical

[bigbadturtledad-deactivated2016]

Well, I have a dirty mind. 

[dogsenpai]

oh well,

[dear-julien]

[fagapult]

That is NOT staying in the tags

[mattieboygaystranger]

It’s not a cuck chair. It is a throne. Her position of power. She tells them what to do and when. She likes to watch. It brings her pleasure. Obviously.

[raptorials]

Went to take this picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign and only after opening my camera did i notice the entire flock of little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

[candytreedepartment]

me looking at the sign then seeing the chickens

[45liza109]

Hyth 💜

[femmedesyeuxnoirs]

[nasa-official]

if this gets 100,000 notes then i, the worlds greatest space agency will personally shoot donald trump into the sun

[nasa-official]

200,000 notes to also shoot the republican party leaders who don’t want to fund science into the sun

[nasa-official]

i am asking once again to help me get donald trump to the sun

[animentality]

[booksandchainmail]

#WHAT a fucking read of the manic pixie dream girl#I want this desperately actually???#perfect quirky enigmatic mystery girl who has all the traits you don't but long for#and lives life with extreme confidence and whimsy doing whatever she truly wants#and she's the future you can have!! she's here because she loves you! she wants you to be happy!#she hated being you so she knows how much you hate being yourself but she's here to prove to you#that there is a joy you can attain#there is a self you will love (tags via @aethersea)

[starless-planet]

Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharoah’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharoah’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly

Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharoah’s wrath

[beardedmrbean]

[nando161mando]

[villainessbian]

[cannibalchicken]

[catgirl-techsupport]

This is a sign of a good hotel. Housekeepers are paid enough to care about small details and have enough time per room to goof around a little. If you have your stuffed animal tucked into bed you know there was enough time to pay attention to all the details of the room and that the rooms are cleaned well.

[lemonsharks]

Housekeepers having both the time and physical & emotional energy to be a little silly with your room is a good sign

[coolben94]

I just now realized your URL is coolben94 and not coolbean94...

are u the person thats been sending me “COOOOL BEEEAAAAANNNN” every week for 5 months