Tom Cruise is here

This mission is possible

[tombooze]

September 25th 2014

Tom Cruise wakes up in a prison cell with Bob Saget. "What happened last night?" asks Tom. Bob Saget then evaporates into thin air.  Tom begins to panic out of confusion. With brute force he headslams the concrete wall and makes a hole in the wall of the prison cell. He is now free. He runs away from the prison at the speed of light. No one notices he broke out luckily. Tom is now tired and stops for a breather. He passes out. Will Smith wakes him up several years later, "Tom, what are you doing? It's time to get up."  He wakes up and realises he overslept. Tom checks himself into AA, he begins telling them stories about his cats (he owns no cats) Tom Arnold is in the crowd, he calls bullshit on Toms stories, "Everyone knows you have no cats Tom." Tom Cruise is visibly upset. He pulls a peanut butter and jam sandwich out of his pocket and throws it at Tom Arnold.  Tom Arnold and the peanut butter and jam sandwich become one as they meet each other. The other members of the AA meeting panic and run out of the room as the Tom Arnold sandwich monster starts to grow. Tom Cruise has dealt with this situation before. He pulls out a beer and a lawn chair and goes to sleep. The End.

[tombooze]

September 24th 2014 (Evening)

Tom Cruise is out of control in his kitchen. He has made far too many peanut butter and jam sandwiches. His wife has called the police and has locked herself in the master bedroom. There are at least 2,000 peanut butter and jam sandwiches around Tom in the kitchen. He continues to make more, "Wow, I've never felt so alive.." he repeats to himself as he finishes each one. Suddenly the police arrive and burst into the house. Tom uses his karate skills, he begins throwing the peanut butter and jam sandwiches like ninja stars at the officers. "I knew these would be good for something.." He knocks out every last police officer and still has 1,981 peanut butter and jam sandwiches left to spare.  Will Smith arrives at the door, "Tom, what's going on here? Have you lost your mind?" Tom nods and smiles, he then jumps out the window. He lands on the entire extended cast of Full House. Bob Saget quickly grabs Tom and pulls him aside. "Tom, if you're going to keep acting like this, we're going to have to fire you.. do you understand?" Tom knocks Bob out. He then throws him over his shoulder and re-enacts a scene from Ace Ventura 2 as the rest of the cast of Full House watches. They give Tom a standing ovation. 

[tombooze]

September 24th 2014

Tom Cruise wakes up in a forest and doesn't know how he got there. He quickly pulls out his phone but then sees he has no signal. This angers him and he throws the phone into a lake which is next to him. Now Tom is running, through the woods like a free elf. He runs and runs, he runs for almost 10 miles before he reaches another lake. Without thinking he dives headstrong into the lake. He catches a salmon in his mouth and proceeds to jump from the lake, 10 feet into the air like a killer whale. Miraculously, he lands back on land, now bearing a salmon in his mouth. Suddenly a sound is heard from the woods. Will Smith appears from the woods with a gun. "Give me that salmon, Tom.." he says as he points the gun at Tom. Tom starts to sweat. The salmon also starts to sweat. Will Smith also starts to sweat. Brad Bird is now also sweating in a seperate location. Tom takes control of the situation, he karate chops Will Smith into two halves. Will Smith is now in pain on the forest floor. Tom grabs the salmon and swallows it all in one bite. Tom leaps into the trees and begins swinging from the branches like a gorilla of sorts. He swings all the way to L.A. He gets there before sunset and arrives at his home. Tom arrives at the back door in tatters. Without thinking he kicks down the doors and dives into his kitchen. He wakes up his wife. "Tom what are you doing, did you break the back door again?" She yells out in an Australian accent. Tom quickly grabs a butter knife to defend himself as he feels that his wife is agitated. Luckily his wife doesn't approach him. He then eats the knife.  The end.

[ohsobreezyjane]

[refridgerator]

when you stay up all night doing hw and the teacher doesn’t collect it

[tombooze]