"Wala ka kaseng lovelife kaya malungkot ka." -society
Why does some people think that having a lovelife is a must? Like one time, im having a chat to this guy.. He wanted me to share what bothers me, why im sad.. And then he said something i don’t think i can agree.
Porket stressed ka, depressed ka, sasabihan ka pang “wala kase lovelife kaya ganyan nafifeel mo”
Hahahahaha katawa lang.
Im just a 20 year old lady, i’ll never be younger than this for the rest of my life and I still choose to be single for some reasons. I choose not to enter into a relationship, not yet, because i have reasons most people may not be able to understand. For me, committing yourself to someone is really a big event in our lives. I didn’t want to enter in a relationship just for the sake of having one or just to pass time. It’s not what people in my age should have already.
In this age, people gets to feel lonely and lost.. And we ought to overcome that using other who also is lost. How can two people find theirselves back when both of them are lost? We think that meeting someone who also feels lonely cures it all. But no. It’s not how it works.
What we should do is to embrace that loneliness so we know how to be alone without being lonely and the beauty of things when we’re alone with just yourself; accept that we’re lost souls and find ourselves not to other people but in ourselves.
Our age is actually the stage where we should be enjoying and appreciating ourselves, the stage where we must learn more about ourselves of who we really are, and the stage where we should learn how to stand on our own, learning not to rely on someone every time, and enhancing ourselves on our own. Because this is our supposed to be “Me-Time” stage but most of us skipped to the next stage. It’s not wrong to fall in love that early. Young love is sweet and lovely. It’s just we forgot to get to know ourselves that we don’t know who we are when we don’t have someone to rely on. It’s like, there’s no such thing as “YOU” alone but “you and someone”. Who are you then? Ends up you’re a lost soul again. And that’s not good to feel, lost. Yes, I’ve been there.
So this guy told me that i should have a lovelife, a boyfriend, so i can overcome the stress and depression im feeling that time. The way he says sounded like i’m required to have a boyfriend as soon as i could so i won’t be lonely anymore. He thought i am depressed because I don’t have a love life that i am alone, that no one makes me happy.. And to tell you, Isn’t your love for your parents a Love life? Your love for your siblings a love life? Your love for you friends a lovelife? Your love for your favorite things a lovelife? Your love for the Lord a love life? Your love for random people a lovelife? Isn’t knowing that someone cares for you, loves you considered a lovelife?
I don’t really understand that kind of mentally, like required ba? So kelangan magkaboyfriend na ko mismo kahit sino nalang jan just for me not to be depressed anymore? So i can be happy? Yung tataa? Required ba talaga yan para di ako mastress? Haha! Is that all we need to gain happiness?
Is that what people need? So lame. In that matter, can you actually call that ‘love’? Yes, someone special would really make you feel happy in a way you’ll be able to forget all your burdens. The feeling when you’re in love, feels like cloud 9.
Is it love when you just want to be in such kind of love life? Just because you didn’t want to be depressed so you’re looking for someone who can make you happy. You’re just bored then. Just like what i’ve read “Having someone to add to your happiness is beautiful, but you do not need to look for someone to provide it”. Why not look for your own happiness rather than depending your happiness on other people. What if at one point they left, so does your happiness. And it ends there. You’re done.
So why depend your happiness on other person? Why not teach yourself and learn how to be positive on your own without depending it on other people.
You’re on your own. All people have burdens so why would you give yours to them, that’s too much i think.
There are lots of reason why people get depressed, stressed and burdened. And being in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean it solves your burdens. Kaya wag mong sasabihin sa aking nararamdaman ko yung nararamdaman ko dahil currently wala pa akong romantic relationship, you’re making yourself look like a fool for thinking that way.
There’s always a right time for that, for everything. You don’t have to force yourself, pressure yourself just to fit in with the society. Young hearts are somehow foolish because we have the wrong idea of love. We thought love will only give us laughters, pleasure, satisfaction and all just happiness. Yes it will and we, young people, crave for that feeling. But we don’t look on the fact that love also gives sadness, pain, tears, disappointments, heartaches, and everything you don’t wanna feel. And when love gives us that kind of feeling, we end up cursing and blaming the ones who broke us, and makes us fear love or others use that as an excuse to enter in a relationship right after the other, until it reached numbers of people and hurt the latter. Most of youths got the wrong idea of love. Love became destructive for most of people because of that idea when it’s supposed to teach you a lesson and makes you feel human not in a destructive manner. Love supposed to heal you not to destroy you.
Love gives us all, love make us feel everything. Because that’s how it teaches us a lesson. That is what lacks with this era, with this society, we don’t know. We don’t really understand and we make ourselves believe we do.
We must understand the roots before we bite to its fruit.
April 21, 2016. Thursday.
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