Tales from the Frunchroom

MADAO

[389]

[phantomrose96]

Gosh I’d love to give it a try. It’s just so hard to find the time with all the *describes a daily schedule that is 65% dilly-dallying*

[gingehh]

hey the dilly-dallying is load-bearing

[tonguethulhu]

she bears my load while she dallies my dilly

[xylophonetangerine]

I didn't even know they had a category for that

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Hollywood really could have that category

[xxacidnekoxx]

✨ms paint story telling✨ I am beautiful!!

[tonguethulhu]

throw back to that one time when my sister was walking home from the bus stop and the neighbors let their little dog chase her and she came home crying and my dad got his big headed rottweiler out and let Bebop fuck up their front door while they shit themselves inside

[tonguethulhu]

my friends: oh gosh Terminator 2 might be too tough for my 6 year old to be in the same room while its playing

my dad when I was 6: here son try my beer, drive this monster truck, here's how you operate a fire arm

[tonguethulhu]

my friends with kids don't let their kids watch anything even remotely fucking cool, like one of them has a pube-stache and he's like 'idk if he's ready to watch Alien' and like come on dude he's gonna be fucking in like 3 years, let that kid watch Alien

[sacred-portal]

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

[squareallworthy]

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

[storm-of-feathers]

What

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

[yoinky-sploinky]

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

[tonguethulhu]

i cant believe the commies are just giving away free piss to the poor

[fellator]

women dont want me. fish dont fear me

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[tonguethulhu]

its wild to me that people are too afraid to knock down a wasp nest, like I just leave 'em alone and they leave me alone. But also, just wait till it gets dark, hit it and run like hell lol you'll be fine

[tonguethulhu]

Not a single motherfucker from the church of satan has ever held any office

[tonguethulhu]

Genuinely what is with the "Government is being run by satanists and dark occult groups" they're literally fucking christians and jews, they're not satan worshippers or practicing astral projection, they're just greedy religious nuts

[badassdemonsword]

This is how it feels listening to queens of the stone age

[elexecution]

[captain-price-returns]