Start Living Dangerously

Antonio de la Cruz | 34 | Alpha | Aurelia | Duke of Larkton | Knight in the Queen's Army |

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

finnickpearson:

“I’m not really supposed to take things from the people I deliver to.” Finnick smiles kindly and can’t stop the blush from coloring his cheeks. He hopes it’s hidden by the windburn he’s accrued while riding. “But I appreciate the offer. I have some books you sent for?” He hands over the package that’s been in his charge for the two days since he left Zech’s home in Sansoria.

“I’ve not read anything in a long time.” He says in lieu of the silence he can feel developing. The knight looks really restless; he paces around his quarters like they’re a cage he can’t bring himself to leave. He knows the feeling, before, that was what the farm felt like, a prison, but a prison that kept him safe from the problems that are inescapable in the outside world. “Are these supposed to be any good?”

“As you wish.” It was an instinctive answer, attentive but not really focused. Tonio accepted the package and set it on the nearest table, beginning to unwrap it. It had taken a while for these to get here, but the passage of time meant little to him at this point. Besides, the books were here now, so he had no reason for complaint, even if he were given over to that sort of mood.

It’s a moment before he replies to the statement and question, taken up by a quick perusal of the books to confirm they were indeed the right ones. His attention was drawn primarily to the bottom book in the package. Paradise Lost. Apparently not a great seller, but what he had heard of it was mostly favorable in terms of critique and the subject matter was certainly something he felt drawn to at the moment. “I’m not certain yet,” he responded finally, giving the delivery boy a look accompanied by a small smile. “These were recommended by a friend, so I’m...” Was he really looking forward to it? It was hard to look forward to anything at the moment. But it was an apt enough descriptor for the present. “I’m looking forward to seeing where these take me. Do you know any of the titles?” Of the five books he’d sent for, he’d only heard of Paradise and and the Shakespeare, Othello. The others three, he had no knowledge of.

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

"I haven’t had many visitors recently, so I apologize if I seem... out of it. Please, sit down. Can I get you something to drink?”

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

your fave is problem + natalie or rhee

“I’d… I’d rather not think about the latter at the moment. So, Natalie.

She’s been through things that make a person understandably distant, but she forces herself to always maintain so much distance that… well, I worry about her. I know she’s strong, far stronger than some morons give her credit for (and she’s good at correcting them quickly). But she keeps so much in, and doesn’t lean on anyone ever, that I fear someday she may crack from the pressure she’s put herself under and won’t know how to ask for help. I just hope I’m able to be there for her.

I’m understanding of being introverted and busy running an estate, but sometimes I think she borders on reclusive, and it makes me anxious. What if something happens to her and no one finds out for ages? I just want her to keep us more in the loop on her wellbeing and her life, so we can look out for her the way she looks out for us.

She has a lot of rage that she keeps under wraps, especially about her brother, which I get. But I can speak to the fact that if you don’t give it a sufficient outlet, it can just… burst out, with awful consequences. Ugh, it all comes back to me wishing she’d be more open, at least with me, but that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? If she does explode someday, I just want to make sure she knows she has a support structure in place. A safety net to catch her and help. And that there is no shame in having that even if you don’t always need it.

But other than that, I think she’s pretty much great just as she is.”

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

my fave is problematic!

//Maaaamma mia…

Antonio, my poor precious little nugget, is faaaaaar too trusting. Look what just a simple acquaintance like Rhee was able to do to him. Look how easily Tristan is playing him and winning his trust. I wanna cry for him sometimes. Honey please guard your heart a little bit better.

He doesn’t actually have a great grasp of when to let his head or his heart rule his actions. In the middle of battle, he’s learned how to plan his way through things just fine, but literally every other aspect of his life has “heart” as the default decision maker and that’s not a great idea in his case. He makes himself so vulnerable, and he ends up saying really dumb stuff without realizing it because why should he have to worry about watching what he says? So many reasons That’s what leads to things like the incident with Christian, where he just can’t control his emotions and they take over and he says really dumb shit he didn’t mean to say and heartily regrets later. Why u do this to urself Tonio? Why?

For an alpha, he is probably way more dependent on his pack and his Bond than he reasonably should be. Like, before Sophia and his pack, he was just like whatever, my parents are dead, I can just live up my life however I want and no one will miss me if I die it’s all good. BUT THEN! Sophia and his pack gave him people to look out for who actually cared about him wow what a concept? And NOW he doesn’t know how to function without them. He went from the extreme of “no one cares about me” to “these people care about me and I care about them I literally cannot live without them”. And he needs to turn down and find a happy medium stat. Cause otherwise he’s gonna either drive everyone away by ending up being too clingy or he’s gonna isolate himself by thinking he’s been abandoned and he really should not be left alone to stew in his thoughts.

[alexanderxbarrett-blog]

“Are you just going to stand there like a bump on a log, or do you intend to tell me what the hell you want?”

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

“Fine, let’s start with this, then. I’m here because I feel like my world is crumbling around my ears. A madman killed innocents and started a riot in broad daylight in the middle of the capital city right in front of my eyes; my True Bond won’t see me; I almost attacked the man she might be in love with; and I’m sick and tired of not having my alpha around to confide in while he’s off doing who the fuck knows what on this secret mission of his. I’m pretty sure Natalie is also sick of having to pick up my pieces. So, here I am. I think that about sums everything up.”

[nevexharland]

Send me:

Your Fave is Problematic + a character: my character will tell you three things they find “problematic” about that character

My Fave is Problematic: the player will tell you three things they find “problematic” about their own character

These can absolutely be sent more than once (multiple ways to be problematic, after all), and “problematic” can be sarcastic! (Example: “1) Too precious for their own good 2) Wears cute hats. 3) Is actually Satan but only ironically.”)

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

tristanxwinchester:

“Lowering your barriers is only bound to get you hurt,” purely out of principle that was why Tristan avoided drink altogether, he couldn’t afford anybody getting to him he just wasn’t emotionally ready for that any time soon. “I’ve witnessed more than my fair share of people who have been intoxicated,” that was a memory that was never going to really pass, “Far more that you’d consider to be animals than anything else resembling a normal person.” Saying those words without spite just wasn’t going to happen, observation was a preferable alternative to letting even a drop of liquor pass his lips. If anyone ever offered him a drink he always had to reject them purely based on principle than anything else. Any sign of weakness was going to have him knocked for six, so keeping everything locked in tight was the only way to go, though he expected it was only a matter of time before it got too much for him to handle. Nobody knew anything about him and that was the way he had to try and keep it, but when getting information out of a person it wasn’t as simple as that. People had to feel like they weren’t the only ones revealing their secrets, Tristan had to feed them a little something here and there, lull them into a false sense of security. The thought of his job being the sole reason for someone being put in harm’s caused the bile in his throat to rise, but he’d taken on the responsibility now and was in too deep to get out. “There have been plenty, I’ve heard, that are more than eager to get started,” that strictly wasn’t a lie, there were many out there itching for a fight, but acknowledging who meant putting himself in the firing line. Tristan shuffled back a little at Antonio’s question, giving himself time to come up with an acceptable response, “I have students who are getting far more antsy with the conflict around them…”

There was the rub. “Exactly the quandary. We all have to decide how best to protect ourselves. Whether it’s worth it to risk vulnerability for openness, or better to shield our hearts and remain disconnected.” He cast a glance at Tristan, a stab of pity hitting him for the bitterness in the younger man’s voice. An omega in Aurelia would undoubtedly have been met with more than his fair share of unpleasant encounters with drunk brutes who knew no boundaries. After what he’d seen the other day... It shamed him further to think that his city and his fellow knights would allow conditions that could put Tristan in the kind of danger that other omega had fallen prey to. “Yes, I’m familiar with one or two of that kind. The kind who can’t wait to see us all swimming in blood.” Everything just kept coming back around to Rhee in his mind. Would he ever be free of these circulating anxieties? Though there weren’t many people in this particular square, Antonio lowered his voice a little so that only Tristan would be privy to his confidence. “There are many in the castle tonight who are among that crowd, I’m ashamed to say. They don’t seem to comprehend just how much damage war could do to us all right now. They think only of blood and glory, though many of them have never seen battle and only barely know their way around a sword. And these are the ones we’re supposed to look to for governance if we must take up arms? It’s almost enough to make me angry, except that I simply don’t have the energy for that right now.” A heavy sigh forced its way out of him. The wine glass he’d emptied was beginning to irritate him, and he went ahead and let it fall to the ground, ignoring the clink as it cracked and a few pieces of glass broke off. He listened again, imagining Tristan in a small schoolhouse, in front of a class, teaching young pups their letters. It was easy enough to visualize. Tristan had a very patient way about him. “A good calling for you, I feel, teaching.” A blip of a thought flashed across his mind, and after a moment of thinking, he said, “I don’t have a lot of authority over the city guard, but I do have a few good friends on it. I’ll have a word with them, see if they can add a few more regular patrols around your school, try to keep as much conflict away from there as possible. Pups should have a safe haven of somekind.” Though his smile didn’t reach his eyes (he was still to melancholy for that), it did come from a fragment of his heart that felt warmed at the thought of Aurelia’s future generation being protected and having some chance at peace.

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

nataliefi:

“You will find a way to say no the next time around,” Natalie assured him, firm in her belief that now that he could recognize true evil, as he called it, that he’d know better next time. “For all you know, he could lead us to false sheep. True evil has its coconspirators, does it not?” That she was sure of. Evil could not exist on its own or by its lonesome, even with good to battle against it.

As he rose, Natalie refused to back down from her stance - her own eyes searching for that spot of weakness, that sliver of a bruised man who still needed picking up. That had become apart of her pack duties. They all expected her to be understanding, and as hard as it was for her sometimes, she would have to relent into it at some point. She would not let any pack member remain down on their knees; they all needed to stand tall. They were only as strong as their weakest link, and their weakest link had to be unbreakable.

“Do not think of it as a defeat but an advancement. Fourteen lives were lost, yes, but now we know who is to blame for all of this devastation. He’s one man. It won’t be difficult finding and seizing him.”

Justice would prevail.

However, at Antonio’s offer to dance with him, Natalie’s face shifted - from steely determination to puzzlement. Where was his– Her eyes flitted around the ballroom where the coronation was taking place before returning to Antonio’s face, lips pursed in thought. It wouldn’t be long before other noblemen, and noblewomen, approached her in a worse off state - intolerably intoxicated beyond desirable company; even if most recounted their time spent with her as insufferable and preferable. They approached for her physical beauty - drawn in by the petals of her rose and insulted by her thorns. She trusted Antonio and while she doubted the impossibility of him finding a range of others to dance with, Natalie offered her hand to him after some time. Perhaps this would be better than drinking more wine until her tongue became numb of its sweet taste. “I don’t know how you expect me to put you in better spirits with a dance.” Dancing was an emotional thing and it was far too intimate, both of which were so far beyond her specialty. If he wanted to enjoy the rest of his evening, he could be givien a stern talk by her then go off and pursue his superficial attractions, however disenchanted he still might be. “I will find that wolf and I will see to personally removing all ten of his fingers myself,” She said suddenly, only partially joking. “Would that cheer you up?”

Her faith in him was... nice. Really nice. He’d had so little of it himself lately, so having her express as much shed a little more light through the gloom that was gradually dissipating like fog from a moor. And it was a bolstering thought that even when he didn’t think he could rely on himself, he’d always be able to rely on Natalie.

With some sense of himself returned, Tonio stood as tall as he could, his shoulders squared and his chin lifted to present as composed an appearance as he could muster. He hoped it would be enough to get him through the rest of the night, let alone this week. Perhaps it would be helpful to start focusing on those around him. If he could take himself outside of his own head, begin putting his energy into helping others enjoy themselves, that would distract him for long enough to put this mood behind him. He would start now, he decided, with Natalie. She’d done as much for him; he should reciprocate in kind.

“I can only hope you’re right. Maybe I’ll get the chance to bring him in myself when the time comes.” That was not actually a pleasing thought, but he attached a smirk to it anyway.

A chuckle at her confusion bubbled up from inside him. She was probably more than used to getting offers to dance, and knowing Natalie, she was also more than used to refusing them. How many times had she turned him down in the past when he’d been a little too rambunctious during pack gatherings? Still, she accepted and he took her hand, his own surprise mingled with a helping of joy that brought a little bit of his usual spark back to his eyes. “I enjoy your company, I know that this is an honor you give willingly to few, and I get the personal satisfaction of watching you dance from up close rather than at a distance. All that should be more than enough to lift my spirits.” He lead her towards the dance floor, deriving more than a little pleasure from the people who scooted aside and struck up whispered conversations about the two of them as they passed. Is that the Duchess of Crescentview and the Duke of Larkton? Do you think they’re– Hasn’t he been rather out of sorts tonight? You know he turned down the Marquess of Hightower earlier– She’s always been fickle– He used to be quite the bedswerver– Inane and ludicrous, the lot of it, but it gave him a laugh which he couldn’t hide, and frankly felt no reason to. As did her suggestion. Classic Natalie Finch. “You know, a few months from now, it actually might,” he confessed as they reached the edge of the dance floor. He paused a moment, waiting for a new song to begin, and gave her a smile. “You’re too good to me, really. I appreciate it.”

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

christianxbennet:

“I was attempting to be polite; I hardly consider matters of the heart to be games or double talk for any parties involved. I would never–”

“Forgive me for my impertinence, but what right do you–does anyone–have to judge what Lady Sophia does in her spare time? Your tone implies condescension and anger, but you are the one who left her behind and urged her to start a new life. You didn’t have to watch her wilt and wither away in the weeks following your absence; you didn’t have to watch the brightest ray of sunshine in the world flicker out and dim to next to nothing. I don’t care if she chooses to bring a hundred men into her bedroom; she can make her own decisions. It’s her life, and it’s not my place–or yours, my Lord–to judge or resent her for it. You stand here before me now, acting like my own heart’s desires are insignificant because I am one of many men Sophia knows; you feel resentment and bitterness and possibly pain in your heart, that much is evident, but not once have I heard you ask if the men she was with treated her well or not. You seem so filled with hateful emotions, yet you haven’t asked once how she fared in your absence, what the men she saw demanded of her, and what life became for her. She deserves better than anything in Aurelia. Other noblemen, the guards, you, and even myself. I have not disrespected or taken advantage of Lady Sophia’s sexual sensibilities; we haven’t shared a bed together.”

“I did not say I was Lady Sophia’s mate. I said she was mine. In every single way that matters, she is my equal. And if she chooses to love another men or fifty or hundred, or even if she chooses to return to you, my Lord, then I will let her do so with grace and an overwhelming amount of love in my heart. But don’t–don’t for one second think you have any right to criticize my heart or her lifestyle. She isn’t anyone’s property. We don’t own her.”

Antonio did not speak at first, nor did he interrupt. He wanted to let Christian have his say. He’d meant it when he said he respected the young knight, and he was working very hard to maintain at least some of the politeness they’d held between them only moments before. But he was tired. He was so, so very tired in his heart and mind and soul, and he couldn’t contain the anger brewing inside him. Many people tended to forget, perhaps because of his slightly shorter stature and usual good nature, that there was in fact an alpha wolf inside Antonio de la Cruz, which could be merciless when offended. And this rage… it was good to feel something different after days of only feeling sorrow and uncertainty.

So when his control broke, he embraced that bitter fury in full. A quick step forward and he was pushing into Christian to pin him against the nearest wall, fists balled up and clutching the taller man’s shirtfront. The growl of an alpha made his voice thrum with power and energy, but his emotions ran wild with his tone, turning it rough and rasping as he spoke low for only Christian’s ears.

“Learn to choose your words more carefully before you start preaching on subjects you know nothing of, boy. I will not stand here and have you insult me by suggesting that I have done nothing to try to make amends for my absence. You think I haven’t tried asking Sophia how she fared, if those ungrateful beasts she deigned to shower with affection treated her well? I have tried. I don’t care for your opinion on the subject so I did not ask you, but I did try to ask her, because hers is the only assessment that matters. And I could not get a response. I come home years earlier than I had expected, after trying to move on myself and failing, after recognizing the depths of my feelings for what they truly are, after fighting not for my king or my country but for her so that I could return as quickly as I could… I come home after that, and I find she has done as I asked. She moved on. And in her grief – the grief I caused – she has resorted to scores of men who are not worthy of looking at her. Perhaps I deserve to have been replaced by dogs and mongrels, for the pain I caused her. But at the very least, I would have her know just how much I love her. And she will not hear me.

“If I am bitter, it is because I know that a year of dreaming of her every night and thinking of her every day has been for nothing. If I am full of hate, it is hate for myself that I chose my sworn duty to my king over the only love in my life that has ever truly mattered. If I feel any resentment towards Sophia… it is resentment that I clearly love her far more than she loves me. And had I been wiser, seen the signs more clearly, things might have been different. I could have had her by my side for the rest of our lives as it should be. But now I have caused her untold pain and I have no way of mending what I have wrought. That is the source of my bitterness, whelp, and to suggest otherwise proves both your naivety and your foolishness. But you will feel it, too, mark my words.

“Go ahead and lie to yourself and me, tell yourself you’d let her go to another man with ‘grace’. You think she’s your mate? Take her. Take her, and let her love you! Let Sophia show you the bottomless depths of her affection, let her shake the very fabric of your being to your core with how much love she is capable of giving. And then watch her turn from you and run into another man’s arms, all because I broke too much of her heart for you to hold it in one piece. Then… then tell me I have no right to my pain. Try to tell me I should just let my True Bond go with ‘an overwhelming amount of love in my heart’. Tell me I am wrong when you have felt what it is like to be parted from your soulmate when once you held her heart beside your own.

"Maybe she is your mate. But she was my Bond long before she ever even knew you existed. I do not claim to own her, but I will claim to love her more than you will ever be able to imagine.” He released Christian’s shirt and turned, putting a foot or so of distance between them as he tried to center his breathing and hide the tears that were springing unbidden into his eyes. Years of people misunderstanding his relationship with Sophia, how it transcended that of an alpha and his omega, and the last month of separation from her when she was so close, had made the words leap from his mouth. True Bond. He’d known for some time, in an instinctive way that needed no verbal confirmation, but to say it out loud at last… and not to Sophia. It felt wrong beyond belief.

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

sophiaxwren:

“I - what? Antonio, s'il vous plait, tell me what has happened - why do you look as if you are bearing the entire weight of the world and then some upon your weary shoulders? You have just returned home…I know that it is not a time of peace, here in Aurelia, but you should be resting nevertheless. My lord - Antonio, please. I cannot possibly dance or light up the world knowing that something bad has happened to you - I beg of you, will you tell me? Non, I…regardless of what has transpired between us, I cannot - I cannot help but worry about you still. You are on my mind constantly…it is as inescapable as the memories we share together.”

“No. I’m sorry, Sophia, but I can’t. You... you are a ray of light in these dark times. I cannot undo the hurt I caused you, but I will not add to it further by telling you what I’ve seen. You are more precious to me than even my own life, and regardless of... of where we stand, I will always fight to protect you. The world needs more of your grace in it. How can I allow that to be spoiled by your unhappiness? I want to be resting. Per carità, that is all I want to do. I would love nothing more than to spend my time lounging around with my pack... enjoying your company again in whatever way would please you. But it’s my fate, it seems, to find myself in the middle of battle wherever I go. The only thing that has kept me going are my memories of you, mia bella. I had hoped– I had hoped that we could try to start again. But I understand if that is too difficult for you. Your worry is... comforting. Is that a bad thing to admit? I must admit it, though: you are constantly in my thoughts, and knowing that I am in yours means more than any medal of honor ever could.”

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

257 for Saria Sophia and Tatiana

Marry, Cuddle, Sleep with

Marry: Sopia

Cuddle: Saria

Sleep With: Tatiana

(TW!) Be a slave to, be your slave, sell to a slave market

Be a Slave To: Sophia

Be His Slave: Saria

Sell to a Slave Market: Tatiana

Seduce, Steal from, Serenade

Seduce: Sophia

Steal From: Tatiana

Serenade: Saria

[the-write-ideas]

Send me three names + a number...

fuck, marry, kill

marry, cuddle, sleep with

fuck, take a bullet for, murder

adopt, be adopted by, marry 

(TW!) be a slave to, be your slave, sell to a slave market

kill, betray, have on your zombie apocalypse team

seduce, steal from, serenade

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

christianxbennet:

“Yes, well…perhaps one day, commoners will be invited to events. Until then, I will remain stationed outside, dedicated to protecting my land and all of the treasures within it.”

“…I am referring to Lady Wren, yes. I thought it would be…best not to directly say her name aloud. I know–that is, everyone in the guard knows, your Lordship–of your history with the noblewoman.”

“And we will all sleep more peacefully for it. A kingdom is only as strong as its finest knights, and we must strive always to be the best we can be. What ever gives us strength, we have to hold onto it, or it will slip through our fingers.”

“I see. And you thought that dancing around the subject would be better. Please, Christian, I’m very far from in a mood for games and double talk. I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime. I myself know that in my... my absence, she did as I suggested and moved on. To several other men, from what I hear. How can you be so certain she is your mate when there are any number of men parading around here claiming the same after only one night with her?”

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

tristanxwinchester:

It was clearly difficult for the man to even talk to Tristan that much he could tell in the way he spoke and in the rigidity of his posture. “I always find drink a far too easy option to take, but then I haven’t touched a drop in years. Maybe that’s why most assume me to be such a stick in the mud, I don’t like parties and I certainly don’t like socialising,” he let out a little laugh, the irony wasn’t exactly lost on him, he could quite easily have gone home and avoided Antonio altogether but he was firmly planted on the bench beside him. There was absolutely no way of telling whether his efforts were going to pay off in the long run, he’d yet to find out much to share with anyone, let alone Rhee. He was determined though, it, after all was a work in progress. “Aurelian royalty sure know when to pick their moments don’t they?” he scoffed, their idiocy truly was a profound thing. There was discord throughout Rosanella and yet they saw it fit to throw a massive party, like it wasn’t going to completely blow up in their faces when all was said and done. Tristan was very well aware of the Sansorian’s at the border and knew it was only a matter of time before they noted a chink in the armour of their enemy. He didn’t want to be around for that. The prospect of getting caught in the crossfire unnerved him, to die like that just didn’t seem right for anyone. “I’m faring as well as anyone could at this time, I hardly find it fair to wallow in my own self-pity when there’s work to be done.”

A low chuckle burst forth from him, very much to his own surprise. “Drink’s always the easiest option. Lower your barriers, open yourself up, watch everyone flock to you. It lets you get to know people much more quickly, if you’re smart about it and can hold your liquor. People can either be more fun while drinking... or they can turn into animals. Easier to tell the difference, but you have to make yourself vulnerable in the process. You’re way is probably the much smarter way.” It was a way he hadn’t taken since he’d first discovered the liberating effects of alcohol. It was a social thing, and he’d made it not only a tool for navigating life as a duke and a knight, but also part of who he was. Everyone knew Antonio de la Cruz liked his wine and ale, and he’d made many acquaintances and allies over glasses of both. Were any one of those people to see him now, they would likely think him seriously ill for eschewing that staple of his life. “Honor-bound as I am to defend our monarchs, you’re right, this couldn’t be a worse moment.” The omega had proven himself worthy of Tonio’s confidence so far, and he felt secure in voicing what was on the minds of many people throughout the kingdom. “Still, I suppose there’re worse things we could be doing. Marching into war, for one. That’ll come eventually, but the longer we can postpone it the better. Only the truly foolish are chomping at the bit to spill blood.” And a certain person he couldn’t stand to think about just now. He focused on Tristan, an overall much less upsetting subject. “Good, that’s good. What work is keeping you occupied?” He’d never asked before now, and found himself curious as to how such an observant young man busied himself.

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

nataliefi:

With the explanation, Natalie couldn’t help but feel her stoicism fall flat and give way to noticeable woe on Antonio’s behalf. That certainly was distressing and not something to be taken lightly. She wouldn’t say he messed up, although it seemed he did, but how could that be his fault? She heard the name in passing before too, only having known of his rank - but all she heard from what Antonio said was that this man was corrupt. And if he were responsible for killing fourteen others, then what else had he done? More importantly, what did he do while a knight? And to have bruised Antonio’s ego this awfully…

All Natalie could do was insist. “It wasn’t your fault. How could any of us had known a wolf killer was right under our noses? How could you have known?” It was important she figuratively beat that into his head. It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault, it’s not, it’s– Until the words lost their meaning in her own head. Out of frustration that she couldn’t seem to make the words factual, to give them convincing weight, Natalie shot up onto her feet and marched the short distance to where Antonio sat and stood in front of him, trying very hard not to cross her arms over her chest. Looming over him wouldn’t send the right message, it was an intimidation tactic - a way to assert dominance and power. And as a beta, she knew alphas didn’t like that. To be challenged by someone lesser? Absolutely not. But she did not care. Antonio was pitying himself, she could see that, hell, everyone in attendance could see it but she would be damned if she didn’t get him to lift that head of his and smile.

Waves were heavy and they were violent when they crashed onto land but she would not let him be swept away into its pulling current. She would not let anyone she cared about be drowned. Maddox, Alexander, Dimitri– All of them. Even Tatiana, for crying out loud. They were her family, more than her parents ever could be. She hoped Samson would be proud of her.

“Stop telling me stories about him,” Natalie ordered firmly because really, this was how she cheered people up. She gave direction, not emotion. “You are glorifying his onslaught and I will not sit here and listen while you deprecate yourself in the process.” She grabbed onto his chin and raised his head so they were eye level. “He is a monster and all monsters can be stopped. Do you understand that? Good always prevails,” Justice always won in the end. Always. “Now you will get up on your feet, find yourself a dancing partner, and enjoy your evening because for all we know, this will be the last celebration we have in a while. You cannot spend it wallowing in this chair, loathing yourself and despairing over what could have been. What’s done is done, you cannot change it but you have plenty of opportunities to stop it. Now you know who he is, we all do. So rather than think about what you could have done differently, think about what you will do. Do you understand me?”

Tonio glanced up briefly, searching for some kind of... maybe forgiveness for what he’d done, or maybe condemnation, which he felt was probably more appropriate. What he saw in her eyes was distress, and his heart plummeted again. Why was he subjecting her to this? If he had any decency left, he would excuse himself now and save her from the rest of his misery. That was all he saw in his future going forward, at least for the foreseeable future. Until maybe something proved to him that the world was not as dark as it appeared and their odds not as slim as they felt.

“I keep asking myself that,” he mumbled, his hand traveling from his shoulder to his face, swiping over the skin as though he could wipe off the taint he felt clinging to him. “I’ve been asking myself that every night before I go to sleep, and the answer is the same. I couldn’t, but I still feel like I should have.” He met her gaze, though it was a struggle, and shook his head as he went on. “All my life, I’ve had great taste in everything. It’s a small thing to be proud of, pretty superficial, and yeah, probably more than a little egotistical, but nobody’s ever proven me wrong. Until now. I always thought I would know evil when it was in front of me. I thought I’d seen in when I went away to fight, and it didn’t seem so bad or so terrifying. But that wasn’t true evil, not by a long shot. True evil wears a smile and pours you a drink and reminisces over similar past woes and future desires.” Tonio leaned forward, something between desperation and humiliation on his face as his fears began to flood from his mouth. “Now that I’ve let it trick me into letting innocents die, how am I supposed to help fight that? What about when it turns up in front of me in another form, what horrors will it make me do then? Natalie, I... I don’t want to give up hope. I don’t. But I can’t trust myself or my instincts right now and–”

In one fluid movement, the she-wolf was towering over him and fixing him with a look he’d seen many times but never been on the receiving end of. He felt instinct stir in him, curiosity at her direction morphing slowly but surely into offense at her boldness. It had only ever rarely occurred to him that Natalie was a beta; so much of her temperament had him instinctively assuming her to be an alpha that he never questioned it. And in the rare moments when he was reminded of the fact, it always came as a complete surprise. In this particular case, the surprise was more indignant than amused, as his own wolf side demanded to know (albeit in a lethargic way, as if it was awakening from sleep) just what this beta thought she was doing? He hardly noticed his jaw clenching, his shoulders squaring, or his posture straightening until he was about to leap to his own feet and bark at her to back down. He barely pulled himself up short. What kind of way was that to react to what she was saying? Her voice rang in his ears, and with his undivided attention, her message was more than clear.

He understood quite well what she’d done. Clever girl, he thought, reigning in his instinct just a touch to prevent him from taking too much of her well-meaning bait. But he clung to the sense of self that she’d suddenly awoken in him with her odd but effective approach. He hadn’t felt like this in days. Hell, he hadn’t realized it until now, but he hadn’t even felt like a wolf. More like a dog that had been kicked to the curb to lick his wounds and wonder what he’d done to deserve such misery. He did not try to defend himself against her words, merely listened and nodded, the shadow of a smile solidifying into a small quirk of the lips. “I understand,” he said. Honestly, he was still feeling pensive and less than energetic, not the ideal state for celebrating, but she had alleviated a large portion of the guilt he was feeling. He rose slowly, looking into her eyes and putting a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you, Natalie. I will keep it in mind. And... I will try to enjoy myself, just for you. It may take me a while to find a partner, though. I feel like I may have offended more than a few people tonight with my less than exuberant attitude. I don’t suppose you’re feeling up for a turn or two?” There was no pressure to his offer, he knew that it wasn’t really her bailiwick, but it would allow him the comfort of her company for a little longer. And maybe that would help push him further into a better frame of mind.

[fairweathermyth]

Oscar Isaac at the X:MEN: Apocalypse Global Fan Screening

[tonioxdelacruz-blog]

christianxbennet:

“Thank you, my Lord, those words are very kind and gracious coming from a renowned warrior such as yourself. Sincerely, I appreciate it. Love does seem to be the single motivational factor for many a wolf and human in Ronsanella and throughout the ages. Love of a kingdom, a crown, a man, a woman…there is a young lady I’m particularly inclined to watch after. A gardener with delicate hands, marigold hair, and a smile men would go to war for. She is…my mate, my Lord, in every single way.”

“It’s a compliment I give freely, you need not thank me for it. You’ve proved your worth, in my eyes and in the eyes of many others. I’m sad to think that your valor has not earned you the right to join us inside. But we will all benefit from your protection, especially this lady of yours.”

“.......A.... blonde gardener. I. I see. I know her, I believe. Especially that smile. I didn’t have the honor of seeing it when I went off to war, though. Speak plainly with a fellow knight, Christian, at the very least. You are referring to Sophia Wren.”