And one little Sutton.

Kody. Not a waitress. Wife. Potty mouth. Sister. Mama to Charlee Layne (3/2/18) and Sutton Suzanne-Louise (8/21/20).

[toomanycharlies]

Hi I moved

I'm trying to use tumblr again but with more of a focus on the mommy blogging. I'll be over at MotherhoodIsTheChallenge.

Come say hi!

[toomanycharlies]

I need to write an update (as if anyone cares 🙄) because so much has been going on, but this first...

Birthmarks

Have y'all ever heard the old wives tale about how birthmarks are supposedly the way you died in your past life?

Well.

Sutton's birthmarks look like burns across her eyelids. And across her third eye 😳

I have decided my tiny baby is a psychic who was burned at the stake for being a witch.

Funny enough, I had the same birthmarks across my collarbone as a child (they fade away as you get older. The skin where mine was is still an odd texture though). I also have one thats clearly a snake bite. Charlotte has a big spot on the front of her wrist and then one on the back of her heel (thats gotta be an Achilles heel metaphor, right?).

Totally fascinated by this now.

[toomanycharlies]

I saw someone post on Facebook yesterday about how covid is all a conspiracy because they only shut down restaurants and bars and not big corporations like Walmart and Target.

Ok.

So... some of those closed restaurants are also big corporations. Its not like they're only closing locally owned businesses. And they don't shut down walmart because can you imagine if they did? People LIKE YOU would be losing their goddamn minds because they couldn't get shit for dinner or toilet paper to wipe their asses.

Use some common sense. Please. I beg you.

Also if I hear ONE MORE PERSON from Illinois complaining about being shut down again, while I'm sitting my happy ass in Oklahoma UNABLE TO GO TO MY OWN DAMN HOUSE because I don't have power I might scream.

[toomanycharlies]

Updates

Its been a wild few days y'all.

We got back from Illinois late Saturday night. Charlie stayed home with us Sunday before heading back to Chicago to finish up his job (he'll still be gone 2 to 3 more weeks).

It rained on Monday. I took it easy with the girls and figured I'd get the house sorted the next day.

I fucked up y'all.

Tuesday the rain turned to ice. Like... a lot of ice...

Our power went out around 9am.

After calling Charlie and scrambling on both our ends we finally figured out a plan (which wasn't easy. Not many friends had power and the ones who did were slowly losing it) but it was less than ideal.

Sutton and I are staying with a friend of Charlie's in Edmond. Its nice but not ideal for Charlotte because its small and there are cats (shes still little and since she doesn't live with pets she struggles with touching them nicely a lot). So. Shes with my dad and his wife at a hotel (no way to heat Sutton'sbottles there so we couldn't stay). They basically got the last hotel room to exist in Oklahoma City. And she's been with them for TWO DAYS. I dont think I've ever been away from her for two while days and I'm not loving it. I got to talk to her on the phone yesterday and I cried...

There are 300,000 without power in the okc area currently.

The linemen have been working literally around the clock to get things up and going but there are blown up transformers, downed lines, and broken poles everywhere so its a slow process.

Today the ice is gone. But its still raining and messy. Trees are everywhere.

The current estimate for returned power is a week plus. I'm really hoping its sooner because I can't be out of my house for ANOTHER week.

And when I DO go home... I have a sink full of dirty dishes to deal with AND an entire refrigerator and freezer that will have been off for days. So everything inside has to go. Did I mention we put in a grocery order on Monday? 🙃

Before I do anything else today I'm taking a real long shower. Then I'm gonna drive to Yukon and check on the power situation. Maybe grab a few things from home. Maybe throw some fridge shit away. Check on my child. Try to form a plan. Which will most likely be, "Well. I guess we'll reassess tomorrow." Again. I feel so horribly stuck in limbo right now.

I feel like I've been pretty patient with this year so far but you know... nope. Fuck 2020.

[toomanycharlies]

I've been using a vape instead of smoking bowls for a bit now. When we got "stuck" in Illinois I ran out and my sister went to the dispensary for me and MAN do I have some feelings on y'alls weed situation.

Oklahoma is a medically legal state where as Illinois has legalized marijuana recreationally as well. I get that it makes a difference but fuck.

My sister got me a half gram forbidden fruit cartridge. After taxes and everything it was $81. In Oklahoma, a full gram cartridge, so TWICE as much, runs me $40. And to make it even more fun, I definitely read my labels. The forbidden fruit cartridge I got was 35% thc. I got a (full gram) forbidden fruit cartridge today in Oklahoma. Its 95%.

What the actual fuck Illinois? I guess I'll be stocking up on cartridges before our next trip 🙄

[alwaysbewoke]

[injuries-in-dust]

Check history, this is literally what the Nazis did!

[brunhiddensmusings]

anyone with a ‘trump 2020′ campaign flag/poster/ecc is openly saying ‘yes im okay with all of that even if im not actively supporting it im going to excuse that as acceptable’ and honestly what can you say about someone who sees all of that as acceptable?

[that1jew]

My mother had her greencard for 14 years. It was revoked and for three years straight she was on a 30 day temporary visa while trying to get it back. Every 30 days she had to renew her visa, driver’s license and professional licensure for her practice. This cost here ~$90 a month + 4 hours roundtrip in gas to get to the immigration office.

My mother is a therapist from Montreal, who owns a home, pays taxes and has two US citizen children. Somehow she managed to tick off something on the reformed immigration criteria that lead to the revokal of her greencard. In less than 4 years he managed to destroy the immigration system. I can only imagine the hardships of families who aren’t in the financial/social position we are and how difficult it is for them.

Please vote for Biden.

[toomanycharlies]

"The president has a sex tape,

The immigrant died at sea,

First they come for you,

And then they come for me."

[toomanycharlies]

Kybella is SO expensive but I want it SO bad.

[toomanycharlies]

Things

I love my family but SWEET JESUS am I ready to go home. My things are there. My routine is there. My kids behave better there. Plus I still need to clean my house and I'm very ready to get it done.

My sister taught Charlotte the dumbest but cutest thing. If you ask her what a "power hug" is she yells, "Its a hug WITH INTENSITY!" 😂

I guess I'll forgive her though since she's running to the dispensary for me today to get me a cart. I didn't plan on being here quite this long and I ran out. I don't like running out.

So weed in Illinois is bullshit huh? Not only is there exactly one dispensary around here but Oh My God the prices. The cart im getting today is a half gram cart for $82 after tax. I could get two FULL gram carts in Oklahoma for that price. If thats the different between recreationally legal and medically legal than I don't want shit to do with the recreation bullshit. I should really get my medical card but my dads wife just grabs it for me before she picks Charlotte up and it just works really well.

After I type up this post I'm gonna post something about Christmas plans and I REALLY need y'alls input ok? Ok. Its important.

Visiting my moms has confirmed one thing in me for sure: I don't think I'm a dog person. Or a cat person. I'm a, "I like all your animals because they're in YOUR house but for the love of God don't put an animal in MY house," person. Look, its not the animal themselves (mostly) its the whole thing where they pee in the house and get everything covered in hair. I'm SO TIRED of trying to wipe dog hair off of everything 😭

Our surprise Illinois trip definitely ruined some things. Charlotte's hair appointment got canceled and I have to rebook (she can't see past her little bangs 🙁) and we missed a doctors appointment for Sutton (this is already rescheduled. Shes gotta get vaccinations). But whatever. Worth it.

Speaking of vaccinations, did y'all see how they're saying the covid vaccine will be made available to at risk groups first? So poor people, the elderly, poc. Our government literally never goes out of their way to help these groups of people first. I immediately have a distrust for this. Are we making it available to them first because they need it or because it hasn't been tested enough? I wonder.

I've been super paranoid about Sutton's eating habits and about her gaining weight since she's been born. Charlotte ate exactly as she was supposed to as an infant. She was the exact average. She ate exactly as much as she should exactly the amount of time apart it should be. There is zero rhyme or reason to Sutton's eating. She'll eat every four hours. Mostly. Sometimes two. Sometimes eight. Whatever. And sometimes she'll eat six ounces but others she'll eat three. Like why kid. At least I'm finally able to notice that she is indeed gaining weight so maybe I can chill now.

[toomanycharlies]

This. Girl. 😍❤😍

[toomanycharlies]

"Nana, Aunt K called me booger breath. I'm am going to spank her ass."

- Shit Charlotte Layne Says 😳😐😬

[toomanycharlies]

Charlotte's busted lip. This is the day after...

And today...

Its healing up nicely. But we didn't realize until yesterday that she's definitely got a loose flap of skin on the inside of her mouth. Like... if we'd have seen this the day it happened I might have thought about stitches... But you couldn't see it at all until the skin died. I'm sure it'll heal up just fine i just feel terrible about it.

[toomanycharlies]

Occasionally, I wonder if my ex realizes that he literally pushed me in to the arms of the man of my actual dreams?

I'm sure he has but refuses to acknowledge it because what sort of legit sociopath would, right?

Either way, thanks, bro. Makes all those shitty parts 100% worth it.

I literally would not be here if I didn't make every single mistake I made and that is so fucking wild to me.

[toomanycharlies]

Sutton's favorite way to snooze: on mama with a fistful of her hair ❤

[toomanycharlies]

Here, have a selfie titled "My hair is so thick and shiny but all I can think when I look at it is when is it going to all fall out again?", featuring my postpartum shape wear and The Real World: Key West.

[toomanycharlies]

Highlights of being in Illinois so far:

Sutton has been smiling a ton this week and laughed out loud at me this morning 😍

Charlotte is having SO much fun. She wants to be outside CONSTANTLY and I fully support this. Unfortunately, shes also been gathering up chicken eggs daily and now refuses to eat them 😐

Charlotte got to go on her first trip to a pumpkin patch and it was definitely a hit

We also did face painting, bathtub paints, and pumpkin carving/painting (pics of the pumpkins to come shortly. Mama might have been sleeping on accident while this part was happening. Hey! Vacation is for everyone! And all mama wanted for vacation was a nap!).

Charlotte Layne also got her Halloween costume. Shes Geko from PJ Masks (duh) and its adorable and hilarious.

Sutton has been a tiny angel child all week. As long as she's got her swing for when she gets gassy (yes I brought it. I'm physically uncapable of rocking her for the hour and a half she'd like) she's good to go. Luckily, Nana has been sleeping with Charlotte so I only have to share a (terrifying and super squeaky antique) full size bed with ONE baby because we'd never make it with two in there.

This is not a positive highlight but it did happen so I guess I'll include it... Charlotte got her first real injury yesterday. More than just a scrapped knee or bruise anyway. With the amount of blood there was we had to check to make sure she didn't need stitches or have a concussion several times but she seems good. She was playing outside (i was feeding Sutton at the time) with her cousins and we aren't 100% sure what happened because no one SAW it but Charlotte says she "fell in the rocks and bonked her mouth". Shes got a split lip and some cuts on her chin. She'll be just fine but damn... so much blood. And my poor girl cried until she hyperventilated 🙁 Some tylenol and a milkshake seemed to do the trick though.

I miss my husband. Like a lot. But I'd be missing him if I were home alone with the girls too so I'm trying to enjoy our time. We won't get more until Christmas (and fuck, I think I have so much to say about our Christmas trip that I'll have to revisit this in its own post).

Yesterday a friend of my moms came to visit to see Sutton. She brought one of her friends I haven't met before as well. Turns out, this woman was good friends with my paternal grandmother (she passed when I was in middle school. I look like her and my mother. All my features that don't "fit" with the rest of my family came from her. Sutton looks like her daddy now, but I highly suspect the bigger she gets, the more she's gonna look like Grandma Theresa). Somehow, when my grandmother passed, this woman's mother ended up with my grandmothers good china. Apparently they were cleaning her house out this week and came across it. So she brought it to me yesterday and man... I'm just kinda over the moon about this. I don't have much at all from my grandmother to begin with and this china is friggin beautiful. My husband isn't gonna be thrilled about lugging something so fragile back home but like... 🤷🏻‍♀️ He'll do it. Its important.

They added a bunch of seasons of The Real World to CBS All Access so I have something to binge watch on my iPad while I'm here.

Speaking of TV, have you ever had to explain to a two year old, who's grown up with only streaming services for entertainment, what cable TV is and why there are commercials and why I can't just put on Peppa Pig right now? Because she does not understand, and it is not fun for me.

I'm going to lunch with a friend from high school today (to clarify... we weren't friends IN high school. One of the girls I hung out with, who was honestly a really shitty person and I still don't understand why I wasted so much time in that awful friend group to begin with but whatever, was always fighting with this girl. So we didn't become friends until later. But I LOVE her because she's loud, pushy,and speaks her mind. And she unapologetically does whatever she wants and might be a little crazy. So she's great) and I'm pretty excited about it. We talked briefly yesterday and holy shit. Apparently, she quit her job on a whim a month ago because she just didn't like it. So I asked her what she was doing for money. She made an OnlyFans in June. I guess she frequently adds content BUT she's never posted anything nude. Its all implied nudity and lingerie stuff. Girl has made SIXTY THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS since JUNE. Like what the actual fuck. I may have to genuinely reconsider my "career" choices before I get old.

Here have a cute Sutton picture. She doesn't do much but she sure is cute.

[toomanycharlies]

My girls ❤

[toomanycharlies]

Stuff

Remember how I said I either got a date night out or a trip to Illinois to see my family? I got BOTH. I had TWO cocktails at our dinner date and got to do a dab with Charlie's buddy while someone else put my kids to bed. Needless to say I was relaxed af.

Now, I'm in Illinois at my mom's house waiting for her to get off work (she took the remainder of the week off to hang out with Charlee). Its definitely nice to have help with the kiddos for a week before going home.

Charlie's job in Chicago will take about 3 weeks 😬🙁 We're only staying at my moms for like a week, then Charlie is going to come get us, take us home, and go back to Chicago. Its a bummer but I'm happy he's willing to do this for us ❤ Two while weeks alone with the girls will be a little rough, but my dad takes Charlee once a week so it should be ok.

Charlee obviously likes it here.

Sutton is just chillin.

I've been craving a pork tenderloin sandwich for literally a year and I finally got one. And yes, it lived up to every expectation I had.

Apparently some random woman ended up with my grandmothers china when she passed and she's bringing it by while I'm here. Weird, but I appreciate it.

Charlee was a CHALLENGE in the car on the way here (its 9 hours. I dont like it either but JESUS). It was not a good time and im kinda dreading the way home tbh.

Charlee wanted to make a video for Nana yesterday. This is what we ended up with...

I LOVE IT.