musings while I procrastinate

wishing I was sitting under a tree reading instead of being a woman in STEM

[toosweetf0rme]

just Gaunt thinking Ellwood is bitter about the fact he broke his nose in their fight,

but actually Ellwood's reminding himself of the one time he caught a glimpse of what's behind the walls Gaunt puts up

[toosweetf0rme]

I find it interesting how both Ellwood and Gaunt's injuries reflect what's most important to them. Ellwood's face wound and loss of an eye costs him his beauty and good looks, while Gaunt's chest wound loses him his strength and physical fitness.

but also that these traits are not important to the other person. Gaunt's love for Ellwood doesn't come from his handsome face - he loves his poetry, his passionate spirit.

likewise the moments Ellwood feels closest to Gaunt are those of emotional intimacy, where Gaunt shares his feelings in a way he wouldn't with anyone else - not his feats of strength or impenetrable toughness. he loves his vulnerability.

I like to think that the other's wholehearted acceptance is what helps piece themselves back together after the war

[toosweetf0rme]

one year apart

[toosweetf0rme]

i fear no one will ever understand me the way Ellwood understands Gaunt