Tooth // Nail

[toothandnailpoetry]

Okay so the good news is I'm writing again.

The even better news is I am no longer writing poetry. I never liked the poems I put on here. Usually I didn't offer much in the way of commentary, but I was depressed as shit. I knew my poems sucked, I knew they weren't relatable to anyone but me, but I had thought I should have an outlet for it. Unfortunately as an outlet, it wasn't working. I didn't enjoy anything I produced, it never made me feel better, it just allowed me more room to ruminate. For a long time, I was making myself worse.

I'd say the several year hiatus has served its purpose. I've only written 5 poems since my last post on here. Now I'm getting into fiction. If you want, you can stick around for fun fantasy stuff—ike orcs, and cults.

[toothandnailpoetry]

Then, we were magnetic, Then I couldn't pry myself from him nor him from me Then, we used to stay awake for far too long and when I woke I could spend minutes just staring, studying the way his skin stretched over his shoulders, the way it prickled if I let out a sigh, the way his hair always looked less like a mane and more like a curtain, framing his strong brow, his sharp jaw, his mouth with the lips that curl up at the corners in a permanent gentle smile, his high cheekbones. Every laugh and smile and locking eyes for so long the rest of the world faded to black. I remember my tunnel vision, When I think about then, I remember nothing but him. Now he spends his waking hours glowering, now his smiles don't reach his eyes. I am the only one who touches my face. I am the only one who touches me. Now I show my love in restricted mute tones, I tense before I say it to brace for the wall of silence, I watch as he is unmoved. He tilts his head away so I settle for his razor jaw or his thick neck with all the straight lines and tendons under strain as he's already halfway out the door. His arms stay by his side. Now I reach for him only in our sleep. Often, too often, I find his side of the bed vacant as his half of my heart. I remember the way he looked at me a year ago. I remember the way he looked at me last night. I remember him dancing in the kitchen. I remember when he laughed last, when he saw a list with his name on it titled "Men who have the perfect partner." When I was little, I found two dying baby birds, I brought them home and put them in a box with soft things, I fed them and treated them gently, I tended their wounds. One died early on, I buried it in the yard. I moved on, I cared for the one left, foraged in the yard for worms and insects. It grew, it opened its eyes, it learned to walk and sing and then to fly. My father made me let it go, he said it would be miserable all alone, that it was cruel to keep it in a cage, that I couldn't take care of it forever. I knew for sure it wouldn't survive on its own, but I let it go. I moved on. I didn't know then what it meant.

[madgirlf]

Your best friend was born and raised in this town and being born and raised in this town means loving basketball. Scratch that- it means worshipping. The game, the team, the fanfare of it all. So when you go to a concert on a warm October night and see the team there, you ask them if you could all take a picture together and they say yes. In 1977, Roman Polanski raped a 13-year old girl. He was arrested and charged with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious acts upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor. When he learned he would likely be facing imprisonment and deportation, Polanski fled to France. In 2009, Polanski was detained at Zurich Airport. While he was in custody, over 100 people in the film industry publicly called for his release in a petition. Since 1979, he has won twenty awards for his filmmaking. As the flash of the camera is going off, the shooting guard of the basketball team who has rosary beads tattooed around his wrists slips his hands between your best friend’s legs sliding his fingers into her through her leggings. In the picture, her mouth is opened into an “o” of surprise. In 1985, Bill Cosby allegedly raped Barbara Bowman. 42 other women have come forward with their accounts of sexual assault and rape at the hands of Bill Cosby, with the earliest incident dating back to 1965. Although accusations of sexual assault and rape have chased Cosby for decades, it has not impacted his life, career, or marriage. In 2009, he won the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and in 2010, he won the Marian Anderson Award, which honors individuals who have changed society through their art. You keep asking what’s wrong and when she tells you, your heart drops into your feet. 20 minutes later, you watch him get kicked out of the concert. So you follow him. In 1990, Charlie Sheen shot his fiancé, Kelly Preston, in the arm. Six years later, he was arrested for repeatedly beating his girlfriend, Brittany Ashland. He pleaded no contest to battery charges and got two years probation and a $2,800 fine.   In 2006, his wife Denise Richards got a restraining order against him after repeated threats of violence from Sheen. In 2010, he was the highest-paid actor on TV. And you scream. And your best friend sits on a curb across the street and she cries. And you scream. And she’ll never talk about this night again. And he asks you what the fuck you want from him. And you say leave her alone leave us alone. And you scream. And she cries. In 2000, Eminem’s wife Kim Mathers attempted suicide after he performed a song detailing his desire to violently murder her while beating a blow-up doll on stage that was meant to resemble her. During that same year, Eminem released a song expressing hatred toward his mother and his longing to rape her. “Just bend over like a slut OK Ma? Oh, now he’s raping his own mother, abusing a whore, snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover”. Despite a history of violence and songs that are rife with misogynistic, abusive, and homophobic themes, Eminem has won 15 Grammy Awards throughout his career and in 2013, was awarded the Global Icon Award at the MTV European Music Awards. She didn’t ask you to touch her she didn’t want this you have no right she didn’t want this how could you how could you how could you. In 2009, Chris Brown was charged with felony assault for a vicious attack against his girlfriend Rihanna on the night before the Grammys. Brown was sentenced to five years of probation and 1,400 hours of community service. In 2012, Chris Brown won his first Grammy. In 2015, he sat in the audience of the Grammy Awards as President Obama issued a PSA imploring the country to help stop violence against women and girls. “Artists have a unique power to change minds and attitudes, and get us thinking and talking about what matters.” That night, Chris Brown was nominated for the Best Urban Contemporary Album Award. Three months later, you’re watching a basketball game with your friends and the boy with the tattoo of the rosary beads makes a 3-pointer and your best friend looks away from the TV but that doesn’t stop the stadium from erupting in cheers and they’re chanting his name and they’re chanting his name and they’re chanting his name.

Fortesa Latifi - POWER PIGS

(MAKE A MOVIE

MAKE US LAUGH

DROP A BEAT

MAKE A THREE-POINTER

WE’LL FORGIVE YOU)

[nobodysflower]

different kinds of tired: 

1. all day at the beach sleepy. warm skin. wet hair. salt and sand and green apple-scented shampoo. bed sheet tides pulling up and down stomach flips into mermaid dreams.

2. milky tired. early nights. wondering if you are getting sick. medicine light bones. eyelids melting closed. dizzy, dizzy, spinning into sleep.

3. drowsy car rides. soft radio buzz. pillow on the window. pulling on your seatbelt. waking up and not knowing where you are.

[ohproserpine-deactivated2015053]

I taste the good and the bad in you and I want them both. We call this bravery.

Anita Ofokansi, Literary Sexts (via klytemnestre)

[silver-afternoons]

Somewhere thirty thousand feet beneath me and three thousand miles across the country there is a tree in a forest with our names scratched into it cut with the blade of a dulled knife and I am wondering if the tree will grow new skin and I am wondering if I will too

Yesterday was dark and dreary and I’m trying to let go and with every new wrinkle in my skin I am becoming someone you have never touched and my heart is content, nostalgic, deliriously sentimental

In spite of everything I am still smiling in spite of everything I am still loving you

[wildfairy]

1. Are you a day or night person? (Do you play nice with the sun only to keep the moon as your mistress and expect her to keep all your secrets?) 2. Are you going to find it strange that I still like to slow dance even when it’s an uptempo song? (Are you going to expect me to apologize for wanting to be close to your heartbeat?) 3. Dogs or cats? (Do you need something to love you blindly, unconditionally. Or do you want something that enjoys the chase but once it has you, it sinks it’s claws in and won’t let go without a fight.) 4. Can you handle blood and needles? (If I put my bleeding heart in your hands, is your stomach going to turn? Are you going to throw it out in the dumpster behind your place, place it up in a glass cage for everybody to gawk at, donate it straight to science and let them poke and prod their utensils at, or are you going to keep it locked up in a puzzle box that only you and I know how to get into.) 5. How good are you at keeping a secret? (Will you keep the things I mumble drunkenly late at night just between us, but still hold my hand proudly in front of all your friends?) 6. What’s number one on your travel list? (What if I want to travel the world and I want you by my side in every new city?) 7. And your bucket list? (Can you be the reason I put a check mark next to ‘epic romance’?) 8. Where do you stand on skydiving? (How do you handle butterflies taking flight in your stomach and multiplying every time you blink.) 9. Favorite color? (Is it too cliche to say mine’s the color of your eyes?) 10. Favorite season? (Are you going to be okay that when summer comes I’ll start missing the cold but when winter sinks it’s teeth in I’ll start craving the sun.) 11. What super power have you always wanted? (Is there a superhero with the capability to read minds at times like this and also with the ability to zap myself to your side whenever you need it?) 12. What did you want to be when you were growing up? (Would you believe me if I said all I ever wanted to be was happy and I think you’ve bottled up and injected lightning straight into my veins?) 13. What’s your biggest fear? (Is it falling, is it crashing, is it burning, while the person who was supposed to catch you is looking in the wrong direction.) 14. Are you afraid of heights? (Or are you okay with wanting to taste the sky?) 15. If you could meet anybody in the world, who would it be? (Does it sound insane when I say that I can recall you from every single one of my past lives?) 16. What do you consider a perfect day? (What if I used to have some elaborate speech for this but since you all I can think about is your lazy smile and heavy eyes when we watch bad movies all day?) 17. What do you look for in a friendship? (Is it too simple to say all I want is to shake the fear of an exposed back every time I walk away?) 18. How good are you at good-byes? (How easy is it for you to leave, even if it’s just for the night?) 19. What’s your zodiac sign? (Are you going to laugh when I spend the day telling you how compatible we are and kissing you after every negative thing it says about us not working because I refuse to believe even the stars have a say in how great we could be.) 20. Are you scared of falling in love? (What if I told you that, right now, I’m terrified.)

20 questions (when trying to find out where you stand), a.l. (via wildfairys)

[5000letters]

Loving someone who cannot love you the same way in return is not weakness. It’s one of the most courageous things you’ll ever do. You are putting your armour at their feet and you are saying ‘I will not fight you in this. I have loved you and that means that I have already won.’”

Azra.T  (via 5000letters)

[fakesurprise]

He sat before his laptop (too poor for a tablet) and wrote screeds and words and poetry in bitter refrains and online feuds: each deed a battle, each paragraph a war even as he longed for some imagined Romantic past of quill and paper. His shadow gathered round him to croak out, “More! More!” And so he wrote onward, almost upward, until he began venting on politics. Even ravens fall silent then as spam issued forth from his aching fingers, goth eyes burning red as he desperately tried to bridge impossible worlds with words. He died but the words lived on and thus was born the spambotgoth

[haliahli]

Love this. #words #OE #English #linguistics

[eda0bdedb8ba]

No, you don’t understand. This is an actual thing though.

[languagevillage-blog]

"deerlore" for zoology and "toothhealer" for "dentist"…

[nekobakaz]

**rubs hands** WORLD BUILDING RESOURCES!!!!

[joyeuse-noelle]

I know some folks who’d love this.

[lifeinpoetry]

I can’t do it. I’ve been so good, but I just can’t go on. He comes into the bathroom when I’m flossing my teeth. I long to be in an elevator with you, stuck between floors. Tell me something filthy. I hate love, don’t you?

Margaret Atwood, from “Wilderness Tips,” Wilderness Tips  (via 5000letters)

[quantumchild-deactivated2016120]

Everything I feel returns to you somehow.

Sufjan Stevens, “The Only Thing” from Carrie & Lowell  (via 5000letters)

[hailstones-halibutbones]

Things associated with the Signs

Aries - Healing scabs. Dirty nails from gardening. Sunlight through stained glass. Sunflower gardens. Cheap tobacco. Unfinished house plans for someday. 

Taurus - Sour candy. Horror movie marathons. Sand leftover from the beach. Frilled dresses. Forgotten iced coffee. Well kept secrets. 

 Gemini - Checker patterns. Banana milkshakes. The anticipation before a storm. Tapping fingers. Partial songs stuck in your head for weeks. 

 Cancer - Broken china. Neatly folded dish towels. The scent of bleach. Unused stationary. The calm after a panic attack. 

 Leo - The strain of muscle. Loud bass you can feel in your chest. Wet salt air. The warmth of a creeping blush. Feeling lonely in a room full of friends. Chai tea. 

 Virgo - The smell of home cooking. Liquid concealer to hide the dark circles under your eyes. Knowing smiles. Black coffee. Late night breakdowns. 

 Libra - Craft beer. Sunburnt skin. When you know you’re winning an argument. Strong cologne. Impulse vacations. 

 Scorpio - Once soft skin roughened by time. Jazz music. Camera shyness. Skeptical looks. Car rides to nowhere at 100mph 

 Sagittarius - That’s what she said jokes. Car grease. The hollow feeling you allow when you think no one is paying attention. Skull splitting hangovers.

 Capricorn - The dreamy state of a misremembered past. Breakfast for dinner. Paint in your hair. Watching the rain fall. Old brick buildings. 

 Aquarius - Mismatched socks. Nails bitten to nothing. Wanderlust. Boiling hot baths to forget. Watching people to guess their life stories. 

 Pisces - Too many rescued animals. Dream journals. Excessive drinking. Purple eyeshadow. The new flower buds in Spring.

[fabio-of-gaming]

Q

[kalliope-amorphous]

[inkskinned]

in the end, i realized i should thank you. when you tore through me, you ripped out all of my roots. and having to start in fresh soil: good lord, but i grew.

unfinished poems viii ///  r.i.d (via inkskinned)

[wildfairy]

Aries — Sometimes paper cuts feel like bullet holes and it isn’t always easy to look past your hindsight. Usually it’s the people you trust the most that carry around salt to pour into your newest wounds. I’m sorry you have to keep looking over your shoulder, ready to run. I hope you can stomach the strength to find your independence. Taurus — Unread letters are exciting in the way haunted houses are around Halloween when you’re five and you still believe in all the theatrics, all the blood and guts covering the walls. When you get older you know it’s make-up and you can’t muster it up to scream anymore, so instead you laugh with your head held high. Keep that confidence when you’re holding your tongue, too scared to send the letter, your finger hovering over the send button. The butterflies in your stomach are just theatrics, too. Gemini — A lot of people learn to swim when they get thrown into the water, flailing and clutching, and their fight or flight instinct kicks in and it’s the first time they have to learn to save themselves. Pull the thorn out of your side, take the knife out of your back. There’s no superheroes in the real world. You’re the best you’ve got. There’s a wolf howl paired with an ambulance siren in the dead of the night echoing in you. Look danger in the face and laugh. Cancer — There’s a common misconception about the people that walk around with barbed wire laced around their heart: That they’re invincible and can’t be scarred. It’s not true. When the electric fence caves in, it’s going to shock that bleeding closed fist to life like a second chance, like a welcome home. A current is going to course through their veins until they’re forced to risk it all again. Leo — I think you were born backwards. You’ll dye your hair a different color every week because you’re never satisfied and you’ll stay up until you pass out, all adrenaline rush meets morphine drip. I’m scared for the day your legs give out beneath you and you fall to the ground, because you never spent the time learning how to crawl; You jumped to your feet and swore you could fly.  Virgo — Falling stars are meant for making wishes, like throwing pennies into water fountains, like pressing your eyes shut tight at 11:11. Like it’s only for that small moment of time that Fate stops, holds her breath, and listens to you. She forgets about what the stars are screaming to her, what Coincidence insists upon shoving down her throat, what Luck believes in so violently that it shakes him to his core. Fate stops. She listens. For a wisp of time, long enough for you to count your blessings and spew them into the air, fingers crossed that this will be the time she takes a peek into your dream journals and picks the wildest one to make come true. Then Fate exhales, and she carries on, and so do you. Libra — Sometimes your lungs get weak when you see something so beautiful it knocks the wind out of you without laying a finger on you. A sunset over the grand canyon from the hood of a beat up car. A wildflower field in the middle of nowhere, unblemished from our own hands. Weddings and the love is bursting from every pore, every fiber of their being. Newly born animals with all the innocence every God ever imagined could fill into one small body. You, with your grace like an esteemed ballerina, eyes reflecting off waterfalls so even when you’re falling apart, you’re leaking out a purity that will grow into something equally as good. Scorpio — You brought to life Khaleesi, you Medusa draped in jewelry made of shark teeth. I’m proud of how strong and brave you’ve become but I’m ashamed to see that block of ice where a warm heart should be. I’m sorry the world showed you so much heartache and hurt that you felt like you had to hide that passion in your eyes. Paint your nails the color of raspberries, of sunsets, of cotton candy, of their eyes. Stop biting them down to the skin. Let them grow out. Use them for knives. Remind everyone that you’re so much mythical magic and you’re nursing a dragon back to health. Sagittarius — There’s a vast majority of people who have a fear of heights, especially when it comes to plane rides. Being hundred of feet in the air, soaring through the sky where you can look out the window and make eye contact with birds and clouds. It’s scary to leave your troubles on the ground, somewhere you can’t pretend they’re tangible and over think until you’re blue in the face. It’s even more scary to know you could taste the sky, to know this is the closest you can get to your own set of wings, in a position where you can’t even have control. You’re not afraid of heights or even of falling. You’re afraid of the loss of control. Capricorn — It’s easy to feel like you’re on top of the world when you’re shutting out the voices and refusing to see past your rose-tinted glasses. I’m sure it must be nice to tune out the feelings and anything that can break through your ribs to tug at your heart strings. Habits are easy to make, harder to break, easier so to pick back up. You’re a pro at getting lost inside hazy bars and waking in up in beds that aren’t your own. The fact that you can’t unhinge your own jaw but want to point fingers at everyone else will be your biggest downfall. We both know you can catch yourself before you shatter, but I’m trying to let you know you don’t have to do it all on your own. There’s a path of neon lights and bottle caps leading you to the chalk outline outside my door. Aquarius — Logic can get confusing. More often than not, it’s harder to wrap your head around than speaking in riddles. Riddles are interpretations, like body language and did they mean to touch my hand or was that absolutely, without a doubt, intentional? Logic demands reason and rhyme. It demands to make sense but this life never made sense for one damn second and I’ve gotten too accustomed to seething and growing in the chaos. I crave it like ice cream in the summer, like hot chocolate in the winter. I know how to clean up a mess. I know how to make the mess. I don’t know how to speak in a way that makes sense. I don’t know how to think logically about something that’s causing my heart to skip a beat, because the thought of that in itself is illogical.  Pisces — When I think of you, I think in cliches. Of mermaids luring to death. Something so beautiful and something that was never meant to be tamed, to be domesticated, to be turned into cartoons and children’s stories. Faeries in the forest, and people ripping off their wings and then they’re shunned from their own community. There was never anything here to turn into a child’s play time entertainment. You were meant to be wild. To run. To live. To teach. You were meant to be more. You weren’t made for apologies or for sugar dissolving into water. You were meant to be the bitter aftertaste of blood in their mouth, to serve as a reminder that even the sweetest looking things know how to burn and claw and scratch themselves free.

poetry for the signs #2, a.l. (via wildfairys)

[silver-afternoons]

A flock of little women whisper small talk, mostly to themselves they wait in line, a waiting we too will one day know 

Head in the oven, heart at the bottom of the river is it waiting or wishing? somewhere there is a thin line drawn across right and wrong sane and insane but visions fade the flickering starlight inside of you, like lightning bugs in a jar, they burn out 

Everything burns that’s what you told me on our first night, on our last night

Spinning slowly beneath the heavens looking skyward with the fantastical idea that someone was looking back, in the absence of the breath from your lungs you gave me a terminal solace it’s better to burn out than fade away