Time for anoder poem:
You were once my light, b1ut now your just a blight
You used to be someone i can always come too, talk too, chat too, be in love too.
Now its just a past that was never meant to last, a past that was never meant to last in the past. The journery to unvloving you tis not done overnite but to be done overtime sometimes thru rhymes,
thru time, never on a dime but to ones own accord.
Thru ones own accord to someday become tis own record.
At one time you used to be the highlights of my days everyday, even wen we argued and had disagreements, i still stood by you and you by me. But now those days are forever gone. These last couple yrs moving on have not been kind, it has been a journey, a time of personal Hell, a Devil and Demon to myself. To myself in all forms of existence:
Physical
Mental
Spritiual and
Emotional.
Thinking of you at one point i felt so happy, so loving, so caring, so wonderful to be alive and live and love life to its fullest.
But now thinking of you even when i dont want too just invading my mind, intruding my mind, now thinking of you just brings sadness, torment, soul breaking, heart breaking memorise of what couldve been, mightve been, maybe have been but sadly never shouldve been, but will never become a wouldve been nor actually been.
Yet why do these feelings still linger for you? Still feeling for you? Still yearning for you? Though i know deep down these feelings that still lingers here for you yearn for you, brings me pain and tormnet i still truly cant let go of them. Even though i am ready to go on dates and try going out there again the pain of you, still torments me fighting between myself in every meaning of thyself.
Even thougjt i truly am ready to move on and let go yu still torment me then i realize it just the ghost the ghost of you and the ghost of the pain trying hard to forgive myself for letting myself get this way, like this, the pain of truly and really forgiving myself to never truly allowing myself the time i need and truly want to forgive myself and truly being sorry to forgive myself for not really knowing how to truly be myself in the ship before it sank. Now all i need to do is to keep going forward, never stopping into the past but to use the past as a means of source of guidance, as a means of not a hindurance but as a means of wisdome, guidance, and to better myself. Never deny yurself and one self any feelings and emotions but to feel them and learn from them to drive you. Drive you to inspire to become better yurself and become the best version of yurself. Look to the past to become better, be better, be thr person you yourself was meant to be not just yourself but for yourself, for others, for that nee future partner, and to become the person you can be. Dont let the past define you but to use that past to become wise, wiser, and be a stone of wisdom. Feelings will never fade but sometimes pain does. Just gotta learn to learn about it and from it. Always.
