blease and thank you

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[sandandglass]

[chrisevanssbottomlip]

Me: *thinks that Tony Stark might actually survive endgame*

Doctor Strange:

[queensboro]

[bloodytales]

[dagenssvenska]

[stevenrogered]

[thicc-waifu-deactivated20190623]

if you guys need a representation of how long ive been on tumblr i still have this gif saved

[crowmunculus]

you are like a little baby, watch this

[tamagotchihelpline]

i am in physical agony

[brinkofpynk]

i think this is a decent contestant

[racefaker]

So Captain Underpants explores the friendship between a gay boy and a black bisexual boy and y’all wanna say Beauty and the Beast was the pinnacle of gay representation in children’s films huh

[racefaker]

Captain Underpants comes out on Pride Month. Coincidence? I think the fuck NOT.

[evil-little-princess-from-hell]

Excuse but Harold and George aint gay.

[dykelliewilliams]

You miss the book where Harold has a husband?

[evil-little-princess-from-hell]

Fanfiction aint canon

[heartandstride-deactivated20190]

It’s in the official books written by the actual author, so it is canon. Pilkey wrote it, so it’s canon. 

[evil-little-princess-from-hell]

I refuse to believe he willingly inserted a political agenda into a popular, established children series

[heartandstride-deactivated20190]

Oh look, stuff from the book! The actual canon book. 

Look at Harold with his husband and kids. Very small but super poignant. 

[darkwingsnark]

LOL @ ‘wouldn’t put political agendas in children’s books’. 

[vaporize-employers]

[aph-lithuania]

[rnemory]

the shaggy meme is hilarious but y'all are missing out on the wild shit mathew lillard would actually say during his Scooby doo press junkets. Like one time he said that he didn’t know how to get the specific shaggy squeak to his voice so before shooting he would sit in his car and scream until he was hoarse

[bearie]

oh boy…..

[bearie]

tangerine snail..

[for-theloveofgob]

nice.

I wana be his friend so bad. 

[bearie]

you are!

[artist-dali]

Ruin with Head of Medusa and Landscape, 1941, Salvador Dali

Medium: oil,canvas

https://www.wikiart.org/en/salvador-dali/ruin-with-head-of-medusa-and-landscape-1941

[flirting-with-psychology]

The way John Mulaney speaks is the vocalized version of When You Capitalise Every Word Like This

[webscene-remade]

my anxiety: if I do not Produce and Achieve I will Die

my depression:

[chodeboy-deactivated20260710]

customer: hi how are you today

me: 

[blowjobhorseman]

I know this isn’t Bojack related, but recently instead of turning men down by saying “no, thank you”, I experimented with saying “I’m engaged” and flashing a ring instead. Needless to say, I am not engaged. It still worked better than just saying “no”, but then came questions like “so where is your fiancé?” and “he let you go out by yourself looking like that?” or just remaining persistent in asking for my number. So I went into my closet, and pulled out a fiancé. Now when I turn men down and they need further proof, they can know that I would rather lug around a 5 foot tall plastic skeleton to Steak n Shake and fake a proposal than give them my number.

[blowjobhorseman]

His name is Braunschweiger Last-Name and I think I’m going to take his last name.

[blowjobhorseman]

Update: the wedding was beautiful

[beelz-moved-to-gazmataz]

The level of dedication this took is monumental and enviable and if I cared about anything this much I would be much farther in life

[prince-marionette-deactivated20]

@whatwouldwaltdo

[mintstermonsters]

This is absolutely fantastic. My goodness.

[writerlywriting-deactivated2019]

This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all month.

[blogging-at-your-funeral]

[lessdanthree]

what drugs were they on when they made this

[meanmisscharles]

Cab Calloway rotascoped!

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Whoever thought of this was drinking absinthe

[protectblkwomen]

Thanks, Now I have nightmares

[brunhiddensmusings]

this was long before cartoons were ever thought of as ‘for kids’, the target audience of this one was roughly 20-40 betty boop cartoons featuring cab calloway singing, yes, but slang has changed so much you dont realize he was singing about opium, sugar daddies, death, weed, sex, booze, and gambling back when gambling was nearly as tabboo as sex and drugs. ‘minnie the moocher’ where cab calloway is a dancing walrus is specifically about someone who does literally everything on that list but die

most of the animation studios had their ‘thing’ to make their animation stand out, disney had fluid motion linked with quality music, warner brothers had top notch dialogue with carefully crafted facial expressions, MGM had comedic timing down to the individual frame that no live action comedian could dream of achieving, terrytoons had the budget of a ham sandwitch and a fistfull of nickels fleischer studios however had authentic jazz and heavy toned subject matter, often crossing the line of what we think of as ‘cartoon violence’ into realistic