(equally sarcastically)

An independent original character created by oftorchwood and written by Lia. Low activity sideblog to askgwencooper

[torchwoodnormal]

wcterwithin​:

“Wow, really? I hadn’t even noticed-” The snarky remark is interrupted by a scream when the doctor touches the rapidly reddening wrist. “Bloody hell, Ash! At least get me a drink first!”

But the young woman, despite gritted teeth and annoyed expression doesn’t move from her friend’s grip, even when the next move makes her eyes water.

Normally, alcohol is a big no-no in this room but that’s only because it thins the blood and weakens critical thinking. Most of Cam’s injuries have involved at least a scrape but- “I’m gonna give you a really good pain killer before I set it but you should be okay if you want to do a shot.”

She misread that, didn’t she? Camille might actually be wanting a gentler touch and a more sympathetic ear- neither of which are Ashley’s strong points, but she always fixes things. “Water of life,” she half-jokes, placing an open bottle of whisky within reach of Cam’s uninjured hand before- much more carefully this time- lowering the hurt wrist to her friend’s side and moving to gather her supplies. 

[torchwoodnormal]

lightofotherstars​:

“It can’t be a secret if they’ve got a webpage,” Seoras insists. “That’s why the Illuminati don’t count as a proper secret society, if you ask me. Look at this!” With a few swift taps on their keyboard, they type something into a search engine - then slump with disappointment when it doesn’t return the results they hoped for.

“Oh. They had a webpage, last time I looked. Guess they took it down.” With an offended sniff, they add, “S'pose they can have their secret society badge back, then. Anyway, the best conspiracies don’t have Wikipedia pages. It’d take all the fun out of it.

“Aww,” Ashley’s sympathy is only partly sarcastic. She knows how important this is for Seo, even with such seemingly inconsistent standards for what should be Top Secret verses what’s A Secret Everyone Should Know. As far as Ashley has figured (and she’s certain she knows them best of everyone), it’s the difference between a secret conspiracy and a secret society. Seoras would know the conspiracies even if Torchwood doesn’t but if they were a member of such a society, well, they wouldn’t tell her but she likes to think she would know.

She considers Seo’s screen and their disappointment before she asks, “But even among an extremely small group, doesn’t the word have to spread somehow?”

[torchwoodnormal]

Injury starter for @wcterwithin

#you know Cam gets injured every time there's field work right?

“Cam...” Incredibly, between the confusion, shock, and concern for her friend, Ashley finds room to be impressed. She carefully examines the younger woman’s wrist, mindful of the agony it must be in and mentally weighs it against every textbook diagram and every vaguely humanoid alien she’s ever dealt with.

She’ll do everything she can and has no doubt it can be repaired but, stupid as it is, and if only for Camille’s own war stories to share when she’s better, it’s worth saying:  “It’s really not supposed to bend that way.” 

[torchwoodnormal]

“Secret conspiracies don’t have Wikipedia pages.” @lightofotherstars

Ashley is a medical professional with degrees and experience, she’s seen and documented an incredible array of alien anatomy and means of communication, and she has known and loved Seo since they were with Torchwood One; but she has, unfortunately, just accused them of spending too much time on Wikipedia. The attempted playful insult backfires and Ashley is briefly too stunned even to roll her eyes. 

It’s not her obsession, not any more than the latest skull under her microscope (the one at home, not the one at work) would be theirs and she should just accept the correction, but she doesn’t. 

“It is something obvious, I know,” she tries, half-serious. “Secret-conspiracy-dot-something-slash-Nessie.”

[roleplayaskmemes]

Send me ▼ and I will generate a number for what my muse will say to yours.

INJURY SPECIAL

1-30

Keep reading

[torchwoodnormal]

The team assuming Pride will require explanation for the Godtier (who totally already gets it but would use different terms?) like

Ashley: did you know i’m a lesbian?

Camille: i’m bisexual 

Seoras: i’m nonbinary and-

Ricky: i thought you were all scottish ?

Lukas: (choking on coffee) you thought we were ALL scottish!? 

[torchwoodnormal]

"The rain is washing the evidence away and there's not a damn thing we can do about it!" (x)

[askgwencooper-blog]

The Torchwood Archive (Part 1) 

“We’ll never be ready.”

“Where’s the library?”

“I would recommend the coffee. Always.”

“You can’t shoot me.”

“Reading the small print there, I can tell.” 

“They’ve been doing it for like a hundred years. They must be pretty good, right?”

“Secret conspiracies don’t have Wikipedia pages.”

“Well, that sounds bloody sinister.”

“Do you even know how to be subtle?”

“Been awhile since I lost my temper. Don’t make me do it again. I’m very good at it.”

“It takes a stubborn bugger to know one.”

“You ever had a fingernail torn off?”

“Look, no one wants to listen to you.”

“What’s the use? A very tidy profit, that’s what.” 

“Oh, dear me, haven’t they chosen some nasty wallpaper?”

“His pension is massive.”

“All that had resulted was a whole lot of paperwork and death.”

“This is what happens when you don’t let an expert get involved.”

“In my defense- ah, screw it. No one ever trusts anyone who says ‘in my defense’. You always know right then and there that they messed up big time.”

“You don’t really notice the time passing because of all the rain.”

“I went looking for trouble and I always found it.”

“You might think anyone looks hot in a sailor’s outfit but these guys didn’t.”

“I hoped I wasn’t too late.”

“Nothing bad happened then, did it? Not at all. No. Nothing. Nope.”

“Always negotiate from a position of strength- not a bus shelter.”

“Right now, I’d give you the world for a towel and a cup of hot cocoa.”

“Do you really think that object is cursed?”

“To think I had you pegged as a daddy’s girl.”

“I was expecting something, I dunno, nightmarish? Green?”

“And, of course, we’re always behind schedule.”

“I’ve never met anyone special. Poor me.”

“Johnny Depp doesn’t have a ticket so who really is Johnny Depp?”

“Hiring an assassin in Moskow? Expensive; but you can find a bad driver on any corner.”

“I’ll stop them today; but tomorrow? How many tomorrows do we have left?”

“People come in here to drink and forget, no?”

“You have no poetry in your heart!” 

“I know Mum would never approve of him. Actually, even I don’t approve of him.” 

[askgwencooper-blog]

THE TORCHWOOD ARCHIVE (PART 2)

“Heads or tails? Not that it has a head or a tail.”

“Needless to say, we’re worried.”

“You’re flying a spaceship naked.”

“Forget about it. I mean, I say that; I will never let you forget about it.”

“Looks a bit small for the Holy Grail.”

“None of your collegues have a sense of humour.”

“Are you still sulking?”

“Are you still an idiot?”

“I’ve got a long shuttle ride home to work out how I feel.”

“I recovered but never really got my looks back.”

“No, no. Never given a thought to retiring.”

“Millions and millions of artefacts all gathered together, all potentially lethal.”

“My employers want you dead. Me, I’m a bit more even-handed.”

“No offense but gangsters who look like truck drivers: not my thing.”

“What time is it? Still 1953?”

“You lot, you honestly act like you’ve never met a homosexual before.”

“Why should I take you seriously?”

“We really have to name that dog.”

“No brainstorms today.”

“It’s too easy for you lot to tamper with pills in bottles.”

“There’s a conspiracy theory about the assassination of a conspiracy theorist?”

“They’re a secret group of lizards who want to steal the moon.”

“Because they don’t exist physically, they’re very hard to kill.”

“Humans are so easily manipulated.”

“Shame you didn’t drink your tea.”

“Next time, use Google.”

“Wash your fingerprints off the teacup.”

“That can’t be the end of the story!”

“Alien diplomats are no different from human ones. They just tell bigger lies.”

“I can’t even point to Papua New Guinea on a map.”

“That man has altogether too much spirit.”

“I have always been able to see many moves ahead.”

“Tamper with it, hold it, bad luck results.”

“No one ever asks what the computer wants.”

“I am truly proud of what has been done in my name.”

“I gave them a very good copy and a very convincing sob story.”

“Have you learned everything you need to?”

[torchwoodnormal]

(tag drop)