Drabble about E-120703 Peter post TASM2
The death of Gwen Stacy took the heaviest of tolls on Peter, even more so than the death of both his parents and his Uncle Ben... why?
Unlike the rest, Gwen’s death was purely his fault... it was his hands that took her life... at least that is what he tortured himself into believing.
Perhaps the world would be better off without Spider-Man?
For five months after the “murder”, Peter’s day was comprised of the same maddening routine:
It wasn’t until a talk with Aunt May and the words from Gwen’s graduation speech that he convinced himself to go forward, to dawn the suit once again and continue to try and be that Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man that his beloved had admired so much... and the funny part was? It worked...
... at least for the first few months.
That’s the thing with grief, it sneaks up and swallows you when you least expect it... even after you convinced yourself you had overcome those demons.
After saving a young couple from the wreckage of a burning car, Peter began to see a vision of Gwen in place of where the young girl should have been; at first, he chalked it up to stress and lack of sleep, totally normal... right?
But then it happened again... and again... and again. Every time he save someone, a vision of her would appear... the one person he failed to save, the woman he loved.
What started as visions drove quickly into obsession, as Peter began researching and studying quantum mechanics; with special emphasis being put into the concept of string theory. Maybe there was someway to undo his greatest mistake? Perhaps even just one more day with Gwen?
While his life as Peter became quickly consumed by his research, his life as Spider-Man didn’t fair any better in comparison. As his grief turned into rage, causing him to become bitter and no longer feel a need to pull his punches.
It should go without saying, but these dual lives of self-destruction were going to eventually lead to Peter’s death, or perhaps worse... him taking another life.
The latter of those two possibilities almost became reality nearly two years later, when a foolish criminal tried to mug Aunt May as she was walking to the bus stop after work; Spider-Man was most certainly there to save the day, but at the cost of beating the thug within an inch of his life; desperate to stop the supposed superhero from killing, May would rip the mask from his face to reveal the face of her nephew.
Fortunately, she was the only around.
Unfortunately? The conversation that followed was one of weight, angst, and outbursts of yelling... but eventually, May slowly but surely brought him back to reality and reminded him of the lesson that was most important from dear old Uncle Ben:
With great power, there must also come great responsibility.
It was after that night he began his long road to recovery, to relief, to redemption.