T.W: Mentions of child sexual abuse, eating disorder and self harm.
Unconvincing explanations of a child’s injuries.
Mom: Baby, What are all those cuts on your back from?
Kid:*Those are just heat scrapes, Mommy. You know from the sun?*
Abuse can lead to many changes in a child’s behavior.
Abused children often appear scared, anxious,
depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.
Kid: *Hyperventilating, sweating, leg viciously bouncing up and down*
Teacher: “You are breathing too loud and its distracting the others. Can you stop bouncing your leg. If you don’t stop being so disruptive I’m going to have to send you to the principles office and call your parents .”
3.Returning to earlier behaviors.
Abused children may display behaviors shown at earlier ages,
such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers.
For some children, even loss of acquired language or memory
problems may be an issue.
*At 12 years old he still sleeps with the light on and wakes up in a sweaty panic
after he wets his bed every night after each nightmare*
Abused children may express apprehension or anxiety
about leaving school or about going places with the person who
Parents: You’re going to go over to Joseph’s house for the day tomorrow while
Kid: *Begins to cry and panic*
Please don’t leave me with him! Please just take me with you! I’ll be good! I
promise! I don’t want to go play with Joseph. Please just bring me with you!
The stress, fear and anxiety caused by abuse can lead to
changes in child’s eating behaviors, which may result in
weight gain or weight loss.
*By the age of fifteen the now teenager develops and avid eating disorder .
A vicious cycle of restricting- binging-purging while weight fluctuates going way
Abused children may have frequent nightmares or
have difficulty falling asleep, and as a result,
may appear tired or fatigued.
Since the age of five he has suffered from extreme reoccurring nightmares and
has been plagued by brutal night terrors since the age of ten, and has now
developed insomnia out of fear of going to sleep.
7.Changes in school performance and attendance.
Abused children may have difficulty concentrating in school
or have excessive absences, sometimes due to adults
trying to hide the children’s injuries from authorities.
Since starting public school in the third grade. He has immensely struggled to
focus and pull through in class. Constantly falling asleep in class and forgetting
his homework. He shows little interest in learning. He cries when he gets in
trouble and hysterically panics when the teacher threatens to call his parents.
Young people who are being abused may engage
in high-risk activities such as using drugs or alcohol
Every day of elementary school he purposefully gets injured in P.E. or causes
enough drama with his fellow classmates that drives them to physically beat him
up after school or during recess. Constantly having one or two black eyes and
multiple other bruises and cuts all over his body, even sometimes coming to
school with a brace on his fingers, arms, wrists, ankles, and knees from sprains
or minor fractures. In eighth grade it gets less obvious as he begins self
harming by scraping and cutting parts of his body such as thighs, forearms and
shoulders with staples, safety pins, and even taking apart pencil sharpeners
and using the dull blade. He has also started burning his hands and arms with
erasers. He always has something with him to harm himself either in his pocket
or the backpack he carries around. He tries to hide all this with his long sleeves
but he lives in Texas and it’s getting close to summer so it’s at least 98 degrees
outside… and he’s wearing a long sleeve every day. This goes on until in
college they add in experimenting with over the counter drugs to their self harm
routine . Every night taking a different concoction in different amounts hoping
one night they will have made the potion that will allow them to not wake up.
9.Inappropriate sexual behaviors.
Children who have been sexually abused may exhibit overly
sexualized behavior or use explicit sexual language.
At 6 years old he was taught to touch himself in places people rarely see when
no one was around. He never understood what he was doing but it’s
what He told him to do so he did it without question, but he knew to keep it a
secret. He’s kept that secret for eighteen years. In high school he is super weird
when it comes to sex. Being Hyper-monogamous and being uber christian
taking purity incredibly seriously. His senior year of high school he goes on his
first date with a boy and they date for nine months. During those nine months
He gets increasingly more aware and terrified of the sexually charged energy
between the two of them when they are alone. So he starts finding ways to not
be alone with this boy all the while giving him lots of “NO SEX-EVER” talks
that are seemingly unprompted and go on for way too long. He starts having
sex and rape nightmares almost every night. He flinches anytime a person
touches them especially their boyfriend. Begging their friends and even his
parents to not leave him and his boyfriend alone.
And when He finally came out and said what had happened to him
You all had the AUDACITY to say
“Oh now everything makes sense.”
You mean to tell me that you had
Maybe if you had acted on that unsettling feeling you apparently had….
You could have stopped it.
You could have gotten him help sooner.
You could have saved him from believing that he was crazy all this time.
You could have shown him that he wasn’t alone.
You could have advocated for him.
You could have done something…
Rather than wait almost twenty years for him to feel safe enough to find the
right words to explain to you what happened.
It still would have been a huge fight for him to have to battle but
At least he could have gotten on the path to recovery sooner and maybe it
Would have saved him some harm and shame.
Why didn’t anyone say anything?
Why didn’t his parents say something?
Why didn’t his teachers say something?
Why didn’t the school nurse say something?
Why didn’t the P.E. teacher say something?
Why didn’t the family friend say something?
Why didn’t the school principle say something?
Why didn’t the family doctor say something?
There were so many damn signs and nobody said a freaking word about
it. They all just let it happen.
Choosing not to see what is right in front of you Kills.
His heart may still be barely beating but believe me
Let this story be a reminder to you all.
If you see or hear something that puts that unsettling or uneasy feeling in
your gut and in your mind… then for the love of a child’s freaking life
SAY SOMETHING. REPORT THAT SHIT. STAND UP FOR THE KID.
DON’T LET THE FEAR OF BEING WRONG KEEP YOU FROM POSSIBLY
BEING THE ONLY PERSON BRAVE ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY SEE THE
SIGNS AND SAVE A KID’S LIFE. YOU MAY BE THE ONLY PERSON IN
THAT CHILD’S LIFE TO EVER SPEAK UP FOR THEM.
DON’T BE ANOTHER PERSON IN A CHILD’S LIFE TO
NOT SEE THEM WHEN THEY SO
DESPERTLY NEED TO BE SEEN.
CHILD ABUSE CAN BE CAUGHT AND STOPPED.
KNOW THE SIGNS AND SAVE A LIFE.
