Incorrect Shokugeki No Souma/Food Wars

Everything here is lighthearted. Please don’t take any of my posts too seriously.

[totallytotsuki]

Erina: what’s it like to work with the rest of the Elite Ten?

Megumi: imagine working with completely civilized, responsible, mature people

Erina: okay

Megumi: now throw that out the window

[totallytotsuki]

Isshiki: I’m not gonna be mad, just tell me why you two have fake IDs

Souma and Megumi: [mumbling]

Isshiki: what was that?

Souma: you need to be 18 or older to hold the puppies at the pet store

Isshiki:

[totallytotsuki]

Megumi, about Erina and her relationship with Hisako: why hasn’t she told us yet?

Souma: I respect her privacy

Megumi: no you don’t

Souma: you’re right, I don’t

[totallytotsuki]

Alice: Ryou-kun talks in his sleep

Kurokiba, sleeping: I’m gonna rip your head off… I’m gonna rip your damn head off, grandma…

[totallytotsuki]

Megumi: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious what will happen. What will happen is fire.

Souma: but what if... something else happens. Just this one time.

[totallytotsuki]

Isshiki: it’s hard being the mom friend sometimes. But I love my friends and that’s all that matters—

Souma: Senpai, Megumi and I tried to make instant ramen in the coffee pot and broke everything!

Isshiki: [deep inhale]

Isshiki: thank you, I’ll be right there.

[totallytotsuki]

Takumi: I’ve never had a rival before

Souma: that’s okay, I’ll be your rival!

Takumi:

Takumi: I’ve never had a boyfriend either

[totallytotsuki]

Souma: I made a mistake and it’ll probably have major consequences

Erina: does it affect me?

Souma: no

Erina: does it affect Hisako?

Souma: no

Erina: then suffer in silence.

[totallytotsuki]

Erina: good people make me insecure. When I’m around someone I think is better than me, I try and drag them down to my level. That’s why Hisako is like my kryptonite

Souma: did it ever occur to you that maybe she has her own set of insecurities and anxieties?

Erina: never. That woman has zero problems.

Erina: her biggest flaw is that she makes a weird face when she sneezes, and even that’s actually charming because she looks like a baby deer.

[totallytotsuki]

Rindou: I’m ambidextrous

Kuga: that’s what’s up bro, love who you love

[totallytotsuki]

Isshiki: when I said "bring me back something from the beach", I meant, like, a seashell

Kuga, struggling to hold a seagull: well you didn't fucking say that

[totallytotsuki]

Takumi: remember when you dared me to lick a swing set?

Isami: um, no, I said, “Nii-chan, don’t lick the swing set”, and you said, “don’t tell me what to do,” and then licked the swing set

[totallytotsuki]

Megumi: have you decided on a Halloween costume yet?

Souma: yeah, I’m gonna dress up as an idiot

Takumi, walking in: hey, Yukihira, I brought the clothes you said you wanted to borrow

[totallytotsuki]

Souma: — and that’s when I thought to myself, “don’t think, Souma. Act.”

Shinomiya: ... so you weren’t thinking

Souma: not at all. I cannot emphasize how little I was thinking.

[totallytotsuki]

Isshiki: I’m not gonna be mad, just tell me why you two have fake IDs

Souma and Megumi: [mumbling]

Isshiki: what was that?

Souma: you need to be 18 or older to hold the puppies at the pet store

Isshiki:

[totallytotsuki]

Erina: bitch.

Asahi: blocked.

Erina: wait, unblock me, I need to tell you something

Asahi: unblocked

Erina: bitch.

[totallytotsuki]

Kurokiba: sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like some people do, but can they do this?

Kurokiba: [stands up and blacks out for a second]