EPILOGUES GLAZEBLOG

I love the epilogues and homestuck^2 and postcanon or whatever and if you dislike it your opinion is wrong and I hate you - a passionate glazeblog Homestuck^2 purist

[blesstheepilougues]

[fucktheepilogues]

Hey, im out of queued posts and out of steam, so here is my ultimate, final post. This is huge. Buckle up.

...I've never actually read the epilogues. Yeah, that's right. I read the first few pages of meat and saw some screenies of certain bits, but I haven't actually read it. Obviously, since I haven't read it, I dont actually care that much. Honestly- I dont actually hate the epilogues.

Woah. Heavy, I know.

I was honest about some parts. Like the annoyance when post canon infiltrates regular homestuck media, how fucking annoying it was in pesterquest, the mischaracterization, etc.

But really, most of this account was just bullshit. Idgaf.

I will not be reading the epilogues. I've seen enough to know it is not something I would enjoy. Im sure some of you will leap at this admittance of not actually hating it to suggest I give it a chance, but your pleas will fall on deaf ears. Not interested.

Shoutout to the parody accounts. You guys are hella funny.

[fucktheepilogues]

Hey, im out of queued posts and out of steam, so here is my ultimate, final post. This is huge. Buckle up.

...I've never actually read the epilogues. Yeah, that's right. I read the first few pages of meat and saw some screenies of certain bits, but I haven't actually read it. Obviously, since I haven't read it, I dont actually care that much. Honestly- I dont actually hate the epilogues.

Woah. Heavy, I know.

I was honest about some parts. Like the annoyance when post canon infiltrates regular homestuck media, how fucking annoying it was in pesterquest, the mischaracterization, etc.

But really, most of this account was just bullshit. Idgaf.

I will not be reading the epilogues. I've seen enough to know it is not something I would enjoy. Im sure some of you will leap at this admittance of not actually hating it to suggest I give it a chance, but your pleas will fall on deaf ears. Not interested.

Shoutout to the parody accounts. You guys are hella funny.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Idk

[plushiestrider]

Bro that's my fucking dad. Delete this bro. I might be a fag but not like that.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

You have like

Fifty different ailments going on inside your brain what the hall are you talking about. What does being a fag have to do with thsi. How is that your dad.

[plushiestrider]

Lil Cal is my dad. Posting a drawing of someone nude in bed with their abusive puppet dad is prime freak behavior.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Im not gonna deny the freak allegations but hes naked because i wanted to do a body study, if youre making it weird thats on you buddy…..

Also i dont think lil cal is your dad that has some weird puppet semen implications

[plushiestrider]

Just do a body study with me as the virtuvian man, pussy.

Lil Cal is my dad because he raised me, and you don't know anything about puppet semen. I'm basically a trained fucking professional.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Why do u want me to do a body study of you freaky ass 😏

[plushiestrider]

I don't. You fucking disgust me. But clearly you have some pathological paraphilia involving me you and John in some gay ass situationship. I don't think there's anything I can do to stop you.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Fuck yeah i have john paraphilia but where do you come into this

[plushiestrider]

Oh my bad, I was confused given your unhinged broposting.

Maybe you only wanna fuck John, in which case.

Bad taste in Egberts.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Dude are you claiming to be bro strider……..

[plushiestrider]

I am not claiming anything. I am a representation of Bro Strider, a splinter of the ultimate narrative metaself, as all homestuck fanart is.

Maybe read the homestuck epilogues, and then you'll understand. Maybe one day, you'll get it, and walk up to me in humble defeat, before asking to commission a smuppet of 40 year old dilf John Egbert.

[b2ne-deactivated20250417]

Maybe ill not read the epilogues cuz they suck and i would never do the last part either because i would never like a version of john egbert that old

Maybe youll stop talking in cryptic ass retardation sentences …….. and make sense …. Who knows

[fucktheepilogues]

Right on brother the epilogues DO suck

[blesstheepilougues]

I honestly love that being involved in anything related to homestuck will get you caught up in some fucking crack shit

[eattheepilougues]

What's your classpect?

Theres so many, I don't think I could pick! Why dont you all settle on a classpect for me?

[blesstheepilougues]

all the dirkblogs probably need a classpect, it would be funy

[fucktheepilogues]

Shoutout to my opps you know you love me

Just kidding i have no opps i am universally cherished.

I love you all. Each and every one of you. Even the epilogues readers and the people who send slurs in my askbox.

The world is beautiful and there is so much to be happy about. I hope you all have an amazing day/night and if you're having a rough time i promise it will get better, just hang in there bro.

Hey. People care about you more than you know. :)

[auguryaside]

thats rly sweet but holy shit y r ppl sending u fuckin slurs in ur inbox wtf r u ok

[fucktheepilogues]

Ya its coo idc. Its cause im a hate blog probably they cant stand me spitting my truths

[blesstheepilougues]

honestly kinda crazy why do people do stuff like that, if they are upset at a hate blog why cant they act like a normal person and create dirk blog number 8

[describetheepilogues]

I disagree there— with seven Dirk blogs, we've reached a sort of uneasy balance, and an eighth blog would shatter that. Instead, to preserve the sanctity of the seven Dirk blogs, I suggest that any future gimmick blogs go with the theme of June, the other main character of the epilogues. It's only fair.

[nothingtheepilogues]

i can't believe the epilogues made jade a furry

[blesstheepilougues]

page 797

[fucktheepilogues]

Shoutout to my opps you know you love me

Just kidding i have no opps i am universally cherished.

I love you all. Each and every one of you. Even the epilogues readers and the people who send slurs in my askbox.

The world is beautiful and there is so much to be happy about. I hope you all have an amazing day/night and if you're having a rough time i promise it will get better, just hang in there bro.

Hey. People care about you more than you know. :)

[auguryaside]

thats rly sweet but holy shit y r ppl sending u fuckin slurs in ur inbox wtf r u ok

[fucktheepilogues]

Ya its coo idc. Its cause im a hate blog probably they cant stand me spitting my truths

[blesstheepilougues]

honestly kinda crazy why do people do stuff like that, if they are upset at a hate blog why cant they act like a normal person and create dirk blog number 8

[marius-vonraum]

This is a large axle hate page

I hate the Lethal Company large axle

[blesstheepilougues]

Damn, looks like fuck got all the way to lethal company

[blesstheepilougues]

I am utterly distraught that the flash has not been released yet, the team announced it would be done by January and yet here we are in febuary, cut off from acess to utter cinema. this is not a shot fired at the masterfull HSBC team as they have brought divine media into this world and they can take as much time as they need to create such high art. I will however be looking through my collection of the upper echelon of epilougue panels in the meantime.

[blesstheepilougues]

here we have commander karkat from the candy timeline, very great piece, truly high art

[blesstheepilougues]

since we have a karkat lets go find a dave, a perfect pairing. so here this dave is-

what? someone bit into my dave panel. who did this. im going to have to go back to the epilougue store and pick up another, this sucks.

[blesstheepilougues]

I am utterly distraught that the flash has not been released yet, the team announced it would be done by January and yet here we are in febuary, cut off from acess to utter cinema. this is not a shot fired at the masterfull HSBC team as they have brought divine media into this world and they can take as much time as they need to create such high art. I will however be looking through my collection of the upper echelon of epilougue panels in the meantime.

[blesstheepilougues]

here we have commander karkat from the candy timeline, very great piece, truly high art

[blesstheepilougues]

I am utterly distraught that the flash has not been released yet, the team announced it would be done by January and yet here we are in febuary, cut off from acess to utter cinema. this is not a shot fired at the masterfull HSBC team as they have brought divine media into this world and they can take as much time as they need to create such high art. I will however be looking through my collection of the upper echelon of epilougue panels in the meantime.

[moldsporr]

Epilogue opinion fandom do you see my vision

[blesstheepilougues]

can you use your glaze powers and magically collab with homestuck^2 and be in the next page

I would normally say that my glazing is'nt nearly strong enough to catch the attention of the HSBC team but if you extrapolate how fast us epilougue blogs are multiplying its not impossible

[eattheepilougues]

I EAT THE EPILOGUES

That's all

[fucktheepilogues]

Im going to fucking lose it

[blesstheepilougues]

epilougues dirk blog quadrant chart

@blesstheepilougues @eattheepilougues

@fucktheepilogues @nothingtheepilogues

[fucktheepilogues]

I HATE THE EPILOGUES

IT SHOULDNT HAVE AFFECTED PESTERQUEST

The epilogues piss me off!!! I was having a lovely time playing pesterquest and enjoying the route of my most swagtacular spectactical top dawg DIRK STRIDER when suddenly i saw the most atrocious, infuiriating thing iv'e ever laid my sorry eyes upon - ult dirk. I just about killed myself on the spot out of pure, unbridled rage. I punched my monitor impulsively, shooting my fist straight through the screen and out the other side. After a few bucks spend purchasing a new monitor, I sat down to write this blog.

The creator of pesterquest made an absolutely enraging decision by thinking it was any way ok to mention the epilogues in pesterquest. There was no reason to and the game would have been spectacular without it. I am convinced they have some kind of incredibly hateful bias against Dirk Strider, because why else would they tarnish his perfectly acceptable route with their shitty self insert and ult dirk? Spite is the only reason I cant thing of. Disgusting.

They just couldnt bear to make an enjoyable game, and thus decided to thrust their stupid fucking ocs into it for no damn reason. If I wanted to see hiveswap characters, I would play hiveswap. If I wanted to think about the epilogues, I would look them up and read them, or even better, go on AO3 and find the most horrible, disgusting and mischaracterized fic imaginable, and get just the same amount of enjoyment.

No other route had such a grotesquely oversized and unwanted intrusion as Dirks. It is as if they want everyone who is semi attached to the character to end their own life, the urge to do such a direct side effect of his pesterquest route. I DONT WANT TO SEE ULT DIRK EVER AGAIN!!!! THERE WAS NO REASON TO ADD HIM I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!! FUCKIKKIKKKLKLKKK N*HIM>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you at all enjoy his appearance in pesterquest dont talk to me, unless it is to apologize for being alive and have the most disgusting, immoral, and entirely incorrect opinions to ever exist. I have no respect for you.

I have busted several keyboards typing this, because my fingers are fueled by FURY. Luckily, I have a sizable stack of replacement keyboards to feed my rant. The epilogues fucking suck. I cannot emphasize this enough. They are shit and I hate them, and did I mention they fucking SUCK?? They suck fat, hairy, slimy BALLS!!!!!!!

Anyways, if anyone know of a pesterquest rewrite in which it is *just* homestuck and does not feature hideous, irrelevant and maddening characters which are not from the original material, please let me know, because I would love to consume such media.

[blesstheepilougues]

no

[sunast0es]

i think in another life they couldve been lovers really

[fucktheepilogues]

icl ts pmo

dni dni dni dni

[blesstheepilougues]

icl imo ts pmo fr ru srs rn ngl idk wth u on2 rn fr tho lmk asap if u srs bc icymi idrc tbh tf omds brb lol smh ttyl rnfr ngl yw ikr btw tfw tbf imo af irl

[fucktheepilogues]

Kill yourself

[blesstheepilougues]

<3<

[fucktheepilogues]

Fucl that. Dont even start with that, faggot. Go straight to hell. In a platonic way. You are not a blackrom interest. I have no blackrom interests- because im not a troll. You freak of nature.

[blesstheepilougues]

I dont know about you man but im very obiously a troll, and sicne you are me but evil that would also make you a troll.

[fucktheepilogues]

I HATE THE EPILOGUES

IT SHOULDNT HAVE AFFECTED PESTERQUEST

The epilogues piss me off!!! I was having a lovely time playing pesterquest and enjoying the route of my most swagtacular spectactical top dawg DIRK STRIDER when suddenly i saw the most atrocious, infuiriating thing iv'e ever laid my sorry eyes upon - ult dirk. I just about killed myself on the spot out of pure, unbridled rage. I punched my monitor impulsively, shooting my fist straight through the screen and out the other side. After a few bucks spend purchasing a new monitor, I sat down to write this blog.

The creator of pesterquest made an absolutely enraging decision by thinking it was any way ok to mention the epilogues in pesterquest. There was no reason to and the game would have been spectacular without it. I am convinced they have some kind of incredibly hateful bias against Dirk Strider, because why else would they tarnish his perfectly acceptable route with their shitty self insert and ult dirk? Spite is the only reason I cant thing of. Disgusting.

They just couldnt bear to make an enjoyable game, and thus decided to thrust their stupid fucking ocs into it for no damn reason. If I wanted to see hiveswap characters, I would play hiveswap. If I wanted to think about the epilogues, I would look them up and read them, or even better, go on AO3 and find the most horrible, disgusting and mischaracterized fic imaginable, and get just the same amount of enjoyment.

No other route had such a grotesquely oversized and unwanted intrusion as Dirks. It is as if they want everyone who is semi attached to the character to end their own life, the urge to do such a direct side effect of his pesterquest route. I DONT WANT TO SEE ULT DIRK EVER AGAIN!!!! THERE WAS NO REASON TO ADD HIM I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!! FUCKIKKIKKKLKLKKK N*HIM>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you at all enjoy his appearance in pesterquest dont talk to me, unless it is to apologize for being alive and have the most disgusting, immoral, and entirely incorrect opinions to ever exist. I have no respect for you.

I have busted several keyboards typing this, because my fingers are fueled by FURY. Luckily, I have a sizable stack of replacement keyboards to feed my rant. The epilogues fucking suck. I cannot emphasize this enough. They are shit and I hate them, and did I mention they fucking SUCK?? They suck fat, hairy, slimy BALLS!!!!!!!

Anyways, if anyone know of a pesterquest rewrite in which it is *just* homestuck and does not feature hideous, irrelevant and maddening characters which are not from the original material, please let me know, because I would love to consume such media.

[blesstheepilougues]

no

[sunast0es]

i think in another life they couldve been lovers really

[fucktheepilogues]

icl ts pmo

dni dni dni dni

[blesstheepilougues]

icl imo ts pmo fr ru srs rn ngl idk wth u on2 rn fr tho lmk asap if u srs bc icymi idrc tbh tf omds brb lol smh ttyl rnfr ngl yw ikr btw tfw tbf imo af irl

[fucktheepilogues]

Kill yourself

[blesstheepilougues]

<3<