Pico pushed the door to his dorm room open, trying not to spill any coffee, especially on his hands. He was about to walk straight through and enter the balcony, until he noticed Darnell sitting at his desk with the laptop open and running.
“Ah,” Pico muttered, only half surprised. “Of course. Still need your coffee?”
Darnell typed something on the keyboard and tilted his head just barely away from the screen with his eyes still on the written text. “Sorry?” Darnell asked and finally gave his full attention to Pico. The redhead just raised the mug in his hand and set it down next to the keyboard. He pulled up his chair from the other desk to sit near Darnell and look over his shoulder.
“Still not done?”
“Obviously,” Darnell said. “Got another week or so.”
Pico shook his head. “How can you make yourself spend all your free time on this stuff?”
“It’s called anxiety,” Darnell joked.
“Ah, of course. I forgot,” Pico agreed. He watched as Darnell scrolled down his essay and highlighted another section for later. “But seriously, you need to stop burying yourself in work. Go out some more. Relax, man.”
“Like what, you want me to become a cheerleader for your games?” Darnell’s voice was laced heavily with sarcasm.
“Nah,” Pico waved off the idea. “There’s another party coming up kinda soon. Don’t know the deets yet, but I’ve heard it’s gonna be a big one.”
“Not interested,” Darnell was very deadpan.
Pico rolled his eyes. “Of course.” He continued to silently watch his best friend reading his own text, editing and highlighting sentences all over. That was, until Pico’s mug was empty.
He got up from his chair, groaning and stretching his limbs in hopes of getting the last bit of sleep out of his system. “C’mon, buttercup. Time to go to class.”
“Nah man,” Darnell said, still keeping his eyes on the screen in front of him, again. “Mine ain’t happening today. Prof got sick or som’.”
“Lucky bastard,” Pico grumbled mostly to himself. “Then have fun rotting in your chair all day, I guess.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and waved to Darnell on his way out, despite knowing he would not get the same in return.
Time passed quickly once Darnell was all by himself again. At this point, he had been sitting at his desk for an hour and a half already. He noticed his hands asking for a small break, and his legs needed some stretching. He moved out of the chair to walk around the room, but he stopped by the balcony door as he got lost in his thoughts. The campus was as lively as always for the time, people getting to and from class, passing time chatting on the benches. Darnell realized only then that he had missed CJ this morning. They must have been confused why he was not there on the balcony to greet them as usual. He imagined they would probably ask him about it in their next lecture tomorrow, or maybe they would even come over after their last lecture for a small chat again.
A shiver ran down Darnell’s spine as he remembered something. He rushed back to his desk. A light blue varsity jacket hung over the back of his chair, the mascot and team name embroidered on one front panel, the other side only containing the name CJ Ashton.
It has been a few days since CJ has last been here. They had come over after training, stayed for a small chat which had turned into two hours of conversation and laughter. Darnell remembered how he accompanied CJ back to their dorm building, how he returned to his own room and found the jacket on his bed. He had texted them straight away.
[Darnell] “Hey”
[Darnell] “Your jacket is still in my room”
[Darnell] “Should I bring it over real quick?”
CJ had read the messages almost right away but had taken a while to respond.
[CJ] “nah, all good. its already late. just bring it to class on monday or something.”
Just a short moment after sending it had they been typing out another message, much faster this time.
[CJ] “unless you want it gone real bad ofc, then ill just grab it in a sec”
[Darnell] “Oh, no, all good.”
[CJ] “then monday it is”
He did not know at that time that their teacher would cancel the lecture that day. And in a funny way, Darnell was happy about that. He liked having the jacket near. It made his chair feel so much more comfy to sit in, the work more tolerable to complete. Darnell knew he could not do that, but he wanted to never return the jacket.
And yet, knowing how much it meant to CJ, he would do so next time he got the chance to.
Darnell began to wonder. If it really meant that much to Jay, why would they leave it here?
If he were being optimistic, Darnell could read it as CJ testing the waters. Maybe they left it on his bed intentionally and wanted to see what he would do or how fast he would want to return it.
Darnell kept on eyeing the piece of clothing he was now holding in his hands. He knew he should not entertain the idea too much. The idea of CJ feeling the same kind of attraction for him. The idea of one day going on a date with them. The idea of Darnell stealing a few of the clothes CJ had, because they were stylish, and Darnell liked wearing oversized clothes already anyway.
But damn it, he was allowed to dream from time to time.
Darnell looked around the room to make sure nobody else was there with him. He felt guilty for what he was about to do. Also, he did not want to give Pico more of an opportunity to mock him if he were to get caught.
With the reassurance that he was indeed alone, Darnell slipped his arms into the jacket to put it on. It felt awfully comforting to wear, and the fact that, of course, it smelled so much of CJ had Darnell feeling a bit funny. But not in a bad way.
It was this feeling of knowing he should not be doing this right now. He should not pretend that he was wearing his partner’s jacket. Yet it felt right on him, ignoring the large sleeves slipping over his hands repeatedly. Being around them made him feel safe in a way Darnell never before experienced. And while this was only a jacket of theirs, having it on him also made him feel this sense of security once again.
Darnell actually was not all too sure himself anymore whether his fantasizing was actually so outlandish. Whenever CJ had forgotten something, either with him or elsewhere, they would immediately go back to pick it up themself. They had done so for a variety of things. Some more valuable, such as their guitar being left in a practice room of the music department, but also other much less expensive or even important, being worksheets, pens and the such.
So why were they so lax about one of the few things they cared about so much?
Darnell shook his head. He did not have the time to daydream, the essay was far too important, and the deadline more imminent than he would like for it to be.
He stared at his hand holding onto the white sleeve. He could take it off right now with no problem. But he hesitated. It was hard for Darnell to quit fantasizing, especially when he would have to do the most boring thing instead. And the jacket felt so good on him, too. Why could he not just do the work while keeping it on?
He quickly slipped out of the jacket and hung it back over his chair before the devil on his shoulder could tempt him further.
Time goes on with Darnell typing out words as fast as he can. He knows there still was a week left for him to work on the essay, but this rather amplifies the stress than decreasing it for him. Once again, his hands ask for a break from the nonstop abuse he is subjecting them to.
Darnell reluctantly moved away from his desk for a quick stroll onto the balcony. It may be cold, but he was actually glad to be breathing some fresh air again. His eyes wandered across the campus as he always did. Students were returning from classes, sitting on the grass and laughing together. Others were on their way to the library or for some clubs offered by the university, including the sports people. He leaned over the balcony’s fencing to get a better look at the football field. A couple of people were already warming up, others were throwing the pigskin at each other back and forth. It looked senseless to Darnell, but he was not going to question anything these people were doing. He was not going to start an argument with a random football player.
His mindless staring was soon interrupted by the sound of a loud whistling noise. At first, he believed the training was about to begin. But none of the players seemed bothered by the sound, and it was far too loud as well. He looked back to the greenery in front of himself, only to see CJ waving at him with a big grin. Darnell laughed and waved back at them. He wanted to say something, anything. But nothing came to mind fast enough. Before he knew, CJ already wandered off to the gym, probably to get ready in the locker rooms before heading to the field. If only he were not so busy, Darnell would have grabbed the jacket and run downstairs to return it to CJ. But they both had better things to do at this moment.
Then he got an idea.
Darnell left the balcony again to snatch his phone off the nightstand. He opened his chat with CJ, but he hesitated for a moment. Was this a good idea? Who knows. His thumbs were already tapping away on the digital keyboard to compose a message.
[Darnell] “Hey, how long is your practice today? Maybe I could swing by after.”
Darnell did not have the patience or nerves to stare at the screen until he would get a response. He took his phone with him back to the desk, continuing his work as best he could with the anticipation buzzing in his fingers. When his phone screen lit up again after a couple of minutes, Darnell did not even finish the sentence he was writing in that moment. He simply had to check the new message immediately.
[CJ] “shouldnt be longer than 6pm”
[CJ] “maybe 6:30 if you give me some time for a shower”
Darnell could not help but smile, though he did not even know why.
[Darnell] “I’ll see you later at the gym then.”
A moment later, the message was marked as ‘read’. Now Darnell had to pass the time until practice would be over for CJ. Reluctantly, he put the phone aside and continued his work. He still felt overly impatient, checking the time nearly every few minutes. The, in his eyes, endless wait was a lingering pain to Darnell. He wanted to jump up, run out of the room, do anything but wait another second sitting at his desk.
Finally, once it was about 10 minutes before the time he and CJ had agreed upon, Darnell could close his laptop and get ready. He quickly changed from his comfy indoor clothes to something more outside appropriate. He checked his appearance with the selfie camera on his phone. And of course, he grabbed the blue jacket to take with him downstairs.
Darnell stood by the entrance of the large university gym. He held the varsity jacket in his hands as he watched the football players leave the building one by one. And while he was aware how big of a field and player lineup was typical for the sport, it still surprised him to see just how many people left the locker rooms before CJ.
Their hair was still damp, as was the towel over their shoulders.
“I didn’t expect to see you today,” they laughed. “Thought you’d spend your free day on that essay as always.”
“Well, I was,” Darnell admitted. “But I promised to give you back your jacket today. It was just.. unfortunate that our class was canceled this morning.”
CJ looked at the piece of clothing with surprise, as if they had completely forgotten about its existence, before their lips curled into a smile. “Right, thanks for that.”
“No problem,” Darnell said with a smile of his own. “So, do you.. have any plans, now that you’re off the field?”
CJ thought for a moment, then shook their head. “Nope, I’m very much free for the rest of the day. Are you askin’ when I’ll finally continue working on my essay?”
“I was actually trying to forget about that wretched thing for a short while.” Darnell looked around himself for a moment as if in search of something to do or talk about. A brief moment of silence lingered. That was until CJ began to walk and dragged Darnell along with their hand on his lower back.
“Then let us take a stroll around campus. Just because you had no class doesn’t mean you don’t need to get up and move your body.”
Darnell tried ignoring the hot rush shooting up his spine from the small touch. “Right, right..” he muttered to himself. He let his gaze wander while he tried finding topics for a conversation. He knew they did not have to talk. But he wanted to, especially since he did not get the chance to after class as it was normally. “How were your other classes today?”
“It was fine, as always,” CJ answered. “We’re still practicing writing down music by ear and then have to analyze certain elements in it. It’s becoming a bit repetitive, but practice makes perfect I guess.”
“By ear? Like, they just have some melody playing and then you have to try scribbling down the notes?”
“And the time signatures,” CJ added.
“This is insanity.” Darnell shook his head in lighthearted disbelief. “Why did you choose to study something like this? I doubt you wanna become a teacher, so is it just so you can listen to some songs and ramble on about the types of harmonies being used?”
“I mean, it certainly is a perk. But no,” CJ said. “I just.. really like music. And I want the music I make to have purpose, meaning. So I gotta know how to exactly get the feelings across to the people listening. I study music theory so that the listeners understand the meaning right away.”
Darnell nodded along to CJ’s words. He already knew they had a great interest in music. It was to be expected from someone who chose to get a doctor title in that particular field. “Makes sense,” he muttered after a while. “When you’re that passionate about something, why not pursue it further.
“And what does your family think about your major?”
CJ chuckled at the unexpected question. “They’re fully supportive of it. Mom and Grams are already ‘threatening’ me if I don’t become a successful musician afterwards.”
“Sorry,” Darnell held back a laugh of his own, his toothy grin still showing his amusement. “You call your grandmother ‘Grams’?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Is your grandfather ‘Kilos’ then?” He could no longer hold back and began chortling.
It took CJ a second to understand why Darnell was laughing. Once they realized though, CJ facepalmed and laughed quietly with him. “Why do you keep bullying me like this?” They asked lightheartedly.
“Because you white people give your family the weirdest names!”
“Oh hell no, not every white person! Rika- no wait.. Sunghee-! Also no.. Egeith?..” CJ tried to think of any of their friends they could use as an example to win the argument. But they realized the people closest to them were all not white, and used normal names for their family members on top of that. “Alright, you got me.”
Darnell shook his head in amusement, letting the silence linger for a moment before changing the topic.
He did not even notice how far he and CJ had been walking as they chatted. They might even have rounded the campus once or twice already, too. He did, however, notice the change in temperature after a while.
“Jeez, how are you still just runnin’ around in your shirt?”
“I guess I got used to it,” CJ answered. “Going out every morning for a jog kinda toughens you up.”
“I kinda forgot it was fall. Y’know, sittin’ inside all day in my warm dorm.”
CJ looked at Darnell for a moment without speaking a word. Their gaze had something hesitant to it, and Darnell did not want to interpret anything into that expression, worrying it might stir up the fantasizing part in him again from earlier.
“If you want, you can have my jacket again,” CJ finally spoke. “Since I’m not wearing it right now anyway?”
Darnell stared back at them with big eyes for a moment until he quickly caught himself. “But I just gave it back to you. What if I forget to return it again?”
“I’m sure it won’t happen. And even if, it’s not like I’ll disappear tomorrow.”
“I.. guess,” Darnell mutters with a soft smile. He accepts the jacket and slides it on once more. He felt less awkward about it this time, but he still could not fully shake off the feeling that he should not be doing this right now. CJ was being nice to him, yes. But going along with such a thing when he has interest in them on a romantic level? It really did not sit well with him.
CJ did not seem to notice his hesitation or conflicted feelings, as they kept on smiling at him and chatting as both strolled around the campus together.
After a while, Darnell suddenly noticed something as he looked around. The campus street lights switched on as the sky had begun to turn darker. He pulled out his phone to confirm, it was already 7PM.
CJ had peeked over at the screen with him that moment. “Damn, I think it’s time to get to our rooms again.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Darnell agreed. Reluctantly, the two headed for the dorm building near the football field. They were having such a good time just now. But everything has to come to an end eventually, Darnell thought.
CJ and Darnell both stopped outside, right by one of the two entrance doors to the building. It was time to say goodbye for the night.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” CJ said as they pulled Darnell into a big hug.
“If class don’t cancelled again,” Darnell answered half jokingly as he accepted the warm embrace. He could feel how CJ chuckled silently and nodded their head against his shoulder.
“Let’s hope not,” they said with a softer voice.
Darnell eventually pulled himself back out of the hug, letting CJ wander off. He knew he could not keep standing around like this. There was still work waiting for him upstairs, and CJ had to go to their own dorm too. Let alone how cold it was. They would be freezing soon enough-
“Wait!” Darnell quickly called out to CJ. They stopped in their tracks and turned to look back at the other in surprise.
Darnell stripped the jacket off his shoulders and held it up high for CJ to see before running over to hand it back to them. “I told you I’d give it back to you today,” he said.
“Ah, right,” CJ mumbled to themself. They took back the piece of clothing, staring at it for a moment, then smiling at Darnell again. “I kinda forgot it wasn’t yours. It just looks too good on you.”
Darnell was stunned. Too stunned to speak. He wanted to say something clever, something sweet, actually just anything back to them. But he was too distracted feeling his entire body burning up, flustered and lightheaded. All he could manage were a few weak laughs leaving his mouth.
But CJ did not seem to mind that. They just kept on smiling at him.
“Goodnight, Nells,” CJ told him and waved with their free hand before walking away once more. Darnell watched them leave, his feet still stuck to the ground until he could no longer see the tall blonde.
“Goodnight, Jay,” he finally uttered once he was all by himself again.
One would think that with time, things would get easier. When the uncertainty has worn off and it all starts to become a routine or tradition. But CJ firmly refused to accept the change. Never would they forgive their father for the things he did. Ever since having to move to his new home with Aaron and Henry, they had begun to oppose everything Cristoff and Rita tried to do in an attempt to unite them all along with the other two children as one big family.
The first Christmas in the new home had ended with the younger siblings reluctantly playing with their new toys and CJ locking themself in their room after dinner, refusing to open a single gift.
After the holidays, Darnell heard all about it once they were back in school. He felt sorry about the things CJ was going through. If it were possible, he would already have arranged for all upcoming Christmas celebrations to invite them over to the Hodge house. But Darnell and CJ both knew that Cristoff would not allow this to happen. "This is supposed to be a day to celebrate as a family," he would probably say.
Before they knew it, another year had almost passed again. The decorated school hallways were a painful reminder of what was to come in just a few weeks. And there was no way CJ could escape it.
**
Despite the rather thick walls, the sounds of pots and plates being set on the large dining table rang softly in the teenager's room. They had spent almost the entire day by themself, only sneaking out once in the early morning to snatch some breakfast and snacks to survive the long day ahead of them. And although this was rather done out of reluctance and resistance, CJ actually found themself somewhat enjoying the time alone. It was perfect for working on their dnd stories or listening to their favorite albums again.
But of course, the big dinner was inevitable. Only once had they tried avoiding eating together with the others. It had ended in Cristoff yelling so much, Henry had begun to cry. That was the only thing that got CJ to give up their fights, for the sake of their brothers.
Aaron knocked on the door before calling out in a gentle voice. "Jay, the table is set now."
"Will be there in a sec, Ari."
Reluctantly, CJ finished writing the last sentence for their campaign ideas before getting up from their desk. They headed out of their room and down a set of stairs for the open kitchen and dining room. Sally was placing the last few sets of knives and forks next to the plates. While Rita was finishing the last preparations in the kitchen was Cristoff still playing with the two youngest in the living room next door. Aaron stood off to the side, looking at CJ expectantly.
They offered him a smile. It was genuine, but visibly strained and tired. Neither of them liked the festive dinners in this house. It was all supposed to be harmonic and full of love, but CJ and Aaron only found it to be forced and pretentious.
Nevertheless, the two siblings sat down together and waited for the grandiose meal to be served. As soon as everyone had gathered around the table and begun talking was CJ no longer listening. They had fully tuned out everything else around them, spending their focus on nothing but quickly finishing up the plate to leave.
At least nobody was speaking up when CJ eventually left the table again.
Back in their room, they sat on their bed with their head in their hands. Despite not exchanging a single word with anyone but Aaron, the whole situation had already drained their energy completely. Even the notes on their desk did not interest them anymore.
CJ moved at the sound of a notification popping up on their phone. It was probably nothing more than about a friend posting a picture. But any distraction was welcome at the moment. And to their surprise, it was actually a text message.
Darnell: "Hey, back from dinner yet?"
It took CJ a moment to process this. While this was certainly appreciated, it was equally strange to them that one of their few friends would reach out and ask when he was still supposed to be celebrating the holidays himself.
CJ: Yeah, why?
They simply had to ask. The curiosity simply got the best of them. The message soon was marked as read. But Darnell was offline again without sending an answer to CJ's question. They stared at the screen for longer as if that would summon a response from him.
But instead, CJ was startled at the sudden soft thud against their window. They looked over to see the remnants of a lopsided snowball stuck to the outside of the glass.
CJ went over to investigate. They opened the window to look outside, and not far from the house stood Darnell bundled up in a thick scarf and heavy coat. It was dark out, but the smallest bit of light from the streetlamps nearby was enough to make his eyes glisten in their bright blue color.
"Hey." Darnell waved and chuckled.
"Jesus, Nells," CJ breathed out of a mix of shock and joy. "The fuck are you doing here?"
"I thought it'd be kinda obvious if I'm being honest."
"No, please enlighten me why you are at my house on Christmas Eve, Hodge."
"I'm here to make your evening fun, Ashton. So get your ass outside before I throw another snowball!"
CJ was hesitant. This would be far from being their first time sneaking out of the house. But what if Rita and Cristoff were more vigilant today? Starting a fight over getting caught would be worse than just hiding away in their room.
"Alright." they eventually gave in. "I'll see what I can do. Wait for me here." CJ closed the window again after getting a thumbs up from Darnell as confirmation of their plans. They switched the top lights off in exchange for the small desk lamp and then quietly sneaked out of their room. The distance between the stairs and the front door was merely a stone's throw away.
There was no other way than to simply take the risk and rush into the small foyer. CJ slipped into and tied their winter boots as quickly as their shaky hands let them. They snatched their coat off the hook and rushed outside while trying to make as little noise as possible. And the very moment they had stepped outside, an icy gust of wind hit them.
"Why can't winter be a little warmer, fuck.." CJ cursed as they put on the coat.
"It's not so bad when you got the clothes for it," Darnell joked.
CJ let out a scoffing laugh, shaking their head. It took them a moment to process the idea of finally being out of the house again, and with Darnell of all people. They both gazed at each other happily and embraced in a warm hug. Only then did CJ notice how badly they needed this, the comfort of another person they cherished.
"C'mon," Darnell muttered after a while, "let's get going."
Together, they both trudged through the new layer of snow on the streets. CJ had no idea where Darnell was taking them, let alone what he planned to do to 'make the evening fun'. But they trusted him enough to not bother asking.
The path the two were taking felt somewhat familiar. But at every other turn, CJ immediately felt lost again. Perhaps them not going outside often during winter made the entire town look so much more unrecognizable under the thick sheet of snow.
Street lights became more sparse, leaving large parts of their walk shrouded in darkness. But Darnell seemed unfazed by this. He kept on guiding CJ with a confidence they rarely got to see in him. It both confused as well as comforted them.
Over time, the suburban streets were becoming more recognizable again. But CJ still could not fully put their finger on it yet. Darnell eventually turned to look at them with a warm smile.
"Almost there," he said.
And after turning one last corner, CJ immediately knew where Darnell had been taking them.
"What- why did you take me to the school grounds?" They asked, not able to decide whether they should frown or smile.
"It's the best place for a snowball fight," Darnell answered. "Not like we could do that in our backyards tonight after all."
"Snowball fight?"
"Or we could do something else, if you'd rather do snow angels or building a snowman," Darnell suggested.
"I dunno if I'm honestly feeling like it." CJ looked around and idly brushed the snow off the fence into their palm to look at.
Darnell frowned a little. "I suppose that's fair." He leaned against the fence. His eyes wandered over the untouched white surface ahead of him while CJ seemingly wandered around nearby. "If you'd rather go somewhere else, we could-"
He promptly cut himself off when a snowball hit his scarf. CJ grinned at Darnell mischievously and ran off for a head start to gather snow for another ball to throw. Darnell had to shake off the confusion quickly to join into the started play fight.
The two teens showed no mercy for each other. Both of them used all the possible tricks to chase after and land another hit on the other person. Snowballs became more sloppy and the fight itself turned into a breathless, laughing mess as Darnell and CJ became more and more tired from all the physical activity.
It all ended with CJ charging at Darnell, tackling him into the snowy ground in an attempt to 'win'. They both panted as their eyes locked on each other with a smile. CJ could feel their arms shaking over time. The extensive play had exhausted them to the point where they could barely keep their own body up with their arms.
Darnell wrapped his arms around CJ as they laid down on top of him, their face lazily buried in his scarf for warmth. The added weight did not bother him in the slightest. The comfort of being close to CJ was all he cared about at that moment. And although the two did not stay cuddled together for very long, it had made them both so much happier than they already were.
"We should move," Darnell muttered and squeezed his arms around CJ's body. "Don't want us to get hypothermia or som'.."
Reluctantly moved CJ back. They placed a brief and warm kiss on Darnell's cheek before fully getting back on their feet. Darnell was flustered, although he knew this was not the first kiss he had received from the other. He loved how every bit of affection they gave made him feel.
As Darnell stood up again, he saw how much fun he and CJ had playing around earlier. Almost all the snow on the school's playground was whirled up, snowballs that had missed their target strewn about, and footsteps showing the chase and fleeing maneuvers the two attempted. And of course the large imprint of Darnell's back of where he and CJ had been laying a moment ago.
He looked back to the blonde, seeing them smile back at him. This was all he wanted to achieve this evening.
Together, CJ and Darnell trudged through the snow on their way back to the Ashton house. Snow was falling from the sky, a futile attempt to hide their tracks.
"Thanks for making tonight more bearable," CJ spoke after a while. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this."
Darnell smiled. "Of course. I wanted this year to be fun for you."
"You did a great job, Nells."
"Then I'll see you again next year. Same place, same time."
Darnell massaged his right temple with two fingers. He doubted this would actually help with his headache, but the attempt was better than doing nothing. And the cold wind blowing against his forehead did not have much of the anticipated effect either that Darnell had hoped for. But at least his roommate was not taking too long getting their morning coffees. The balcony door slid open, and the first thing Darnell got to hear from Pico that morning was a shivery groan. “Remind me why the hell we are freezing our asses off with a hangover?”
“Thought it might help with the headaches,” Darnell answered and took a long sip from his mug.
“It’s doing the opposite for me,” Pico continued to complain. He held onto his own drink with his hands tucked into the sleeves of his green sweater.
Darnell rolled his eyes. While the day surely could have had a better start, him and Pico were still glad it was only Sunday. No reason to rush for anything, no lectures to attend with barely four hours of sleep. The only people on campus around this time were a handful of students. Probably to make use of the library while the majority was still in bed trying to recover from the party.
“Had fun last night?” Pico asked after a while. It sometimes freaked Darnell out a bit how they both seemed to think about the same things at the same moment.
He nodded his head a little, not wanting to provoke his headache. “T’was alright. But the music was kinda loud to be honest.”
“Ah yeah, that sucked. ‘Specially when someone played DDR upstairs at the same time. Fuckin’ music overlap..”
“Yep. Kinda needed a break then. But it wasn’t that bad outside.”
“Yeah, I already know why,” Pico’s voice became a teasing hum and a smug grin was starting to form on his lips.
“Oh fuck off, man-”
“You had quite the view outside, huh?”
As much as Pico was getting on his nerves, Darnell could not help but chortle.
“Somethin’ been keeping your mind busy I assume,” the redhead continued with no end in sight. “Must’ve been an amazing sight, maybe gorgeous even.”
“Shut up.”
“Oh what a shame there was no rain, or you could’ve had a closer look at the details this time- Ouch!”
Darnell had put down his mug to give Pico a proper smack to the back of his head. It was harsher than his usual playfight hits, and it was fully intentional. “You earned yourself that one,” he huffed and picked up his drink again.
Pico rubbed over the aching spot to soothe the brief pain, not wanting to admit he should have seen this coming. “Sure, whatever you say.” Darnell knew his friend was not taking this personally. Pico may pout and act upset, but it was all part of the bit.
“So,” Darnell spoke up again after a moment. “How was the party for you? Had good company with your team?”
The redhead shrugged. He scrunched his nose slightly as he said “Sorta, yeah. It was fine until someone decided to holler about the beer pong upstairs.”
“And that got the attention of your mates I assume?”
“Obviously,” Pico said. He let out an exaggerated groan before continuing, “but I didn’t really mind. Convo was getting a bit boring.”
Darnell nodded his head. He was not thinking much more of it. It sounded like a normal party to him. But as the silence kept on lingering between them, he could not help but feel some form of tension coming from his friend.
Looking over, Darnell saw Pico frowning down at his coffee, tapping his fingers against the mug through the sleeves. He was hesitating, but Darnell was clueless as to what he was being hesitant about.
“You.. remember that thing you once told me? The stuff you heard in the library?”
Darnell felt a cold shiver running down his spine. He actually had been trying to forget about it completely, pretend it never happened. Simply for the sake of not acting weird around CJ or letting it slip out around them by accident. Regardless, he nodded slowly in response.
Pico was silent for another moment, trying to piece together the right words. “When you left the basement with CJ, I.. heard some stuff.”
“Like what?..”
“The guys on my team looked.. Disgusted. I asked why, and… apparently, CJ is known for sleeping around a lot.”
“I suppose that was to be expected when they got that title..” Darnell muttered under his breath.
“Duh, obviously,” Pico murmured. “But they’re mainly known for something else.”
Darnell gave the redhead a curious look. Although he was not sure whether he actually wanted to hear more.
“How do I say this..”
“Just as it is.”
Pico sighed in defeat and let his head hang from his shoulders for a moment. “Not that I judge it, and it’s only what I heard mind you-”
“Pico.”
“Jeez, fine! They got an OnlyFans!”
Darnell stared blankly at the other. It was not entirely surprising, and yet it weirded him out to know at the same time. He was so bewildered and confused on what to think about this new information that he was unable to express anything about it.
There was a spark of curiosity. He wondered how this came to happen. Why other students spread that information around. Whether this was the only reason they had earned themself that derogatory title amongst the gossipers. But he felt it would be best not to bring any of this up around CJ. In the end, all of this might just be harmful rumors they have to fight with. And Darnell wanted to do anything but upset or embitter CJ by making them think he would believe anything that some random bullies were spreading on campus.
He shook his head, forgetting for a moment the still present headache until it flared up again. “Agh!-” Darnell furiously rubbed his forehead in an attempt to ease the pain. “It ain’t my business, whether they do that or not,” he muttered under his breath.
Pico only silently watched his friend and nodded along at his words. He wanted to keep quiet rather than piss off Darnell a second time today.
*
“And please,” Mrs Iverson called after her students while packing up. “Do not forget about your essays. You only have so much time to work on them, and even less to get feedback on them.”
But barely anyone was still listening to her words. People only cared about getting out of the lecture hall fast. Darnell stuffed his laptop in his bag almost carelessly, his eyes already fixated on the door. He wondered how CJ managed to pack up so quickly when they always took out so many more things for taking notes than him.
The two left the building through the main entrance as usual. Once outside and away from the crowded hallway, they looked at each other with a smile.
“So, what d’you thinking, library or my room?” CJ asked.
“I already know you’re gonna bully me if I don’t choose to climb all these stairs with you,” Darnell answered with a lighthearted laugh.
CJ shook their head as their smile grew ever so slightly, “You already seem to know me pretty well.”
As much as Darnell hated to admit it to himself, taking the stairs to the fourth floor regularly had become less exhausting over time. But if he were just a bit more desperate, he would also agree to joining CJ on their jog every morning just to be close to them. Their (not so) cunning way of getting him to exercise only worked on the basis of his crush on them.
The room was empty as was usual on a Monday. CJ and Darnell both dropped off their bags near one of the beanbags as they both got comfy around the tables.
“Not gonna lie,” CJ began while stretching all of their limbs. “‘m kinda glad Rix is already out to her class.”
“Why’s that?” Darnell asked out of curiosity.
“She just don’t stop whining about her sore muscles. Her hangovers last days sometimes.”
Darnell let out a halfhearted laugh. “Poor Rika.”
He noticed how he began feeling a little on edge. Since Sunday, Darnell had tried to forget about the party. Not because he regretted going there, the evening itself was fine. But now knowing the things Pico had told him about CJ made him feel uneasy around them. He wanted to avoid blurting out anything that would let them know he knew more than they had told him.
But CJ did not seem to notice his apathetic tone. They continued to smile as they continued rambling, “And yet she insists on going to almost every party. I just don’t get her at all.”
“Yeah, some people just are like that, I s'pose.”
The silent moment lingered between the two as Darnell tried to think of an inconspicuous way to redirect the conversation to what he actually came here for, reviewing the current drafts of each other's essays. He took a deep breath, and his left hand already began reaching for his bag to take out his laptop. But he stopped himself as CJ continued to talk.
“At least the party wasn’t a total disaster. I found it quite enjoyable at times.”
Darnell pulled his hand back to instead scratch his head. “Yeah, same for me. ‘t wasn’t that bad. Would’ve been nicer without that chick puking in the backyard though.” He did not even notice himself how his tone was becoming less tense. How he seemed to loosen up at the memory of him getting to end the night together with CJ.
Looking over at them, he saw their soft smile, making him grin a little himself. They nodded with only a low hum in response. CJ’s eyes were looking off somewhere in the room as if they were somewhere else in their mind.
Finally the opportunity for Darnell’s distraction.
He sat up to take out his laptop and boot it back up. “Enough about the weekend. Iverson herself said we have to get work done.”
“Shit, yeah,” CJ muttered. They pulled themself up from the cozy seat to get their own laptop, setting it on the free table next to Darnell’s.
His text file was already open and waiting to be read while he still had to wait on his friend. He watched as they typed in their password. The amount of symbols they typed in made Darnell wonder whether it was just a string of gibberish they had memorized, or a half a paragraph. A few clicks later, CJ handed over their laptop to swap with Darnell.
“Also, you can find my remaining notes at the bottom page,” they mentioned and gestured vaguely at their monitor.
He nodded and finally went to look at the text. Immediately, Darnell noticed something. Not about the text, but where CJ seemed to be writing their essay. Instead of a word document, they had opened a docs link in their browser. Darnell was about to ask CJ why they had chosen to write online, until he noticed they were already concentrating on reading his essay. He should be doing the same now. He can ask unimportant questions later.
The text was still a rather rough outline than a fully fledged essay. But along with the notes, Darnell found the structure to look pretty good for the current state it was in. He noted a few things by adding comments in certain sections he believed to need a bit more attention still. After skimming over his feedback, he looked over at CJ again to see their progress. It looked as if they were not fully done and still had a couple more pages to go.
Darnell looked back at the screen in front of him. He was unsure what to do while he waited. Reading everything once more did not sound exactly riveting to him after all. So without any thought, his eyes wandered around on the screen, checking out what kind of browser CJ used, the bookmarks lined up under the URL text field.
Nothing was out of the ordinary. There was nothing scandalous looking, nothing that surprised him to see really. Most looked to be quick access links to DnD generators or basic sites like social media.
With a cold shiver shooting down his spine, Darnell remembered Pico’s words. He knew it was far from being his business. But if he really wanted to find out the truth, he could use this moment to find out whether the rumors were true about CJ. He could open a new tab, or even just check their search history to see whether they actually ran an account on OnlyFans.
The idea was tempting. Darnell could so easily put his mind to rest and stop wondering whether it was only gossip or really true.
His fingers were almost itching to take advantage of the touchpad and keyboard. They would not notice what he was up to. It would just look as if he was adding another note to their essay draft. They would never know.
Darnell stared at the screen in front of him for a while longer, but then pushed it a few inches away from himself on the table and sat back with his arms crossed. It was none of his business to search for information that did not need to concern him in the slightest.
After a while, CJ sunk further into the beanbag with an exaggerated sigh. “How did you manage to write so much already?”
“I sit down to write whenever I got time,” Darnell answered.
“But I do that too!”
“Well, I also don’t have any football training or band practice.”
“Are you mocking me right now?” CJ asked with a raised brow.
Darnell hesitated, offering them a small grin. “What, me? Never.” His voice was lighthearted, but clearly mocking at the same time.
CJ chortled. “Okay, that’s it. Get your lazy ass up,” they said as they closed Darnell’s and their own laptop.
Darnell reluctantly followed their orders. He did not know what to expect to happen, so he simply let himself be dragged out of the dorm and back onto campus.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going for a run,” CJ replied as they began stretching themself.
“Wait, what? Why?” Darnell asked, shocked and in disbelief.
“You’re talking too much shit. So it’s time to get that smug grin off your face with some exercise.”
“But we got no sportsy clothes on?”
“Stop wasting so much time and start stretching. You’re gonna need it, trust me.”
Darnell followed CJ’s order hesitantly. He was hoping that they would at most run with him towards the library and then drop the act. But the determination in their eyes told him otherwise. And before he knew it was CJ dragging him along on their usual jogging route. They ran past the art and IT buildings, up the path where Darnell saw CJ every morning, and looped around the football field and music building to come back to the dormitory.
After the long run, Darnell needed a break before he could climb the stairs back up again to get his bag and laptop. He came to appreciate that he was not fully obsessing over CJ but ‘just’ having a crush. Darnell knew he would not last even a week when running with them the whole distance every morning. If necessary, he would pray every night that he would never have to do this again a second time.
But for now, he simply trusted CJ, and swore to choose wisely when to mock them.
The small dorm room was filled with endless sounds of keyboard clicks and the occasional flip of a page whenever Darnell worked on his class paper. Every spare minute, he would spend in some type of way working for it. He would even write through the night if Pico were not always dragging him away from the desk in the evening.
Even on Saturday, Darnell went right back to his desk after the usual morning coffee. Pico thought not much of it until he returned hours later from his basketball training. “Alright, that’s enough for today,” he said and pulled Darnell on his chair back from the laptop.
“Hey, I’m working!” Darnell complained loudly.
“Yeah, you’ve been doing so the entire week. If I had spent all that time on your screen, I would be having a tan now!”
Darnell did not want to hear it. He did not want to listen to his aching back asking for a break either, unless absolutely necessary. He wanted to get the essay done and out of the way as soon as possible. “C’mon, just gimme another hour!”
“Not a chance,” Pico shook his head and closed the laptop. “You’re not enjoying yourself anymore. Get your ass out of that chair and get dressed for the party.”
“We had an agreement! I said I’d come if I got 75 percent of the work done.”
Pico raised an eyebrow as if he were questioning Darnell’s sanity for a moment. “My guy, you’ve written ten pages for an essay with a twelve page limit. Correct me if my math is wrong, but that’s more than 75 percent finished.”
*
By the time Pico and Darnell arrived at the house, the place was already rapidly filling with people. It certainly came to no surprise that parties supposedly were a regular thing around here. The sheer size of the house suggested two different stories. Either a really cool (and rich) party kid was given the family’s third residence to live in while attending uni, or a group of friends made a (most likely drunken) decision to finance this together for housing and, of course, a shit ton of parties. Either way, the place was already looking very promising.
The crowd of students was a mix of many familiar faces, some more vaguely than others, and a bunch which appeared to be complete strangers. Possibly alumni who had come back to see friends and have a good time. And although the party had just barely started, the mood all around was already great. Everyone was chill, talking and laughing with drinks in hand, and the occasional good song got people to dance around for a while.
“This will be fun,” Pico laughed optimistically as he scanned the area. Darnell nodded in agreement. The small hum he had made was almost fully drowned out by the surrounding noise.
As was standard routine at every new party, the two friends began scouting the entire house. A couple of rooms were locked, probably for good reason. But the majority were open for anyone to enter. That included a game room which had been set up for Dance Dance Revolution matches. The basement was the unmatched main attraction though, as it was home of a self-serve bar for drinks and a karaoke station not too far away.
Every room they entered had Darnell skip his eyes over the people around. Needless to say, he was hoping to see a certain blonde at the party. Though, admittedly, he did not know what he would do if they were to actually show up.
Pico and Darnell soon headed back for the basement, shuffling past people on the crowded set of stairs. That did not stop the redhead though as he grinned from ear to ear at his friend. “This is looking good! I’m excited to see where this goes.”
“You sure do,” Darnell laughed. “So, any plans on how we start this off?”
“Probably grab some drinks and chat up some folks. I saw a few of my teammates, so you could tag along if you got nothing else planned for now.”
Darnell nodded and accepted the offer. Though he had seen a couple of other students from his courses, he did not really want to seek out conversation with any of them. He hardly knew them, so he had no good conversation starters other than complaining about the essay. Maybe later, when everyone has gotten a bit more tipsy and did not care about an awkward approach for a chat. But not yet. Going with Pico was currently the best idea to avoid the moments of stiffly standing alone to the side and just watch others having fun.
Pico introduced his teammates one by one to Darnell. He could somewhat recognize a handful of the guys. He had seen them around the campus, carrying either their sports bag or even just a basketball from one lecture to the other. It always made him wonder whether they would go to practice right after, or if they just wanted to show off being on the basketball team whenever their jerseys were in the laundry. And although Darnell had not many shared interests with most of the group, he still managed to have a decent conversation with them all.
Time was passing quicker than expected. Before anyone knew it, the colorful lights were the only thing illuminating the entire house. So much for the days starting to get shorter. But the party was far from dying out. If anything, more people started coming in for a bit of fun and drinks.
The evening was coming along well. No fights had broken out so far, nothing gross got to kill the mood yet. Though, for a split moment, Darnell thought that something bad was about to go down, hearing sudden bellows coming from upstairs.
“EYO WHAT’S UP MY MAN!!”
His eyes were fixated on the staircase for a moment to watch if anything would happen. But nobody seemed to care except for him and Pico. It must have been a normal occurrence, Darnell told himself to turn back to his group. People kept on pushing themselves through the sea of other people to get to or away from the basement bar. Some stayed at the sight of the karaoke machine and served Pico and his friends a good laugh over their drunken performances. The surrounding noise of music playing and loud talking had become normal to Darnell’s ears over time. And yet, he noticed a familiar voice shouting into the main room, “I’ll grab us some drinks. Dontcha dare run off!” It was no louder than most of the other noise around him, but it still stood out to him like nothing else.
Darnell looked over to see Rika, laughing as she made her way over to the bar. She was dressed in a white crop top and blue tartan button up hanging down openly, letting her necklace glimmer in the lights around her. Darnell thought she would be back upstairs without even looking in his general direction. But he knew better when Rika’s head perked up before she made a sudden turn away from the bar. She walked straight up to him, her hand reaching out to squeeze his arm.
“Darnell! Didn’t know you came to parties here too,” she beamed at him despite the odd looks Pico and his mates gave them both.
“Ah, well, it’s my first one here,” Darnell explained with an almost flustered shrug.
“You’re not busy here right now, right?” Rika did not hesitate to ask, getting straight to the point as always. He answered her quickly by shaking his head. “Good, then you’re my designated drink carrier now!” Her other hand then moved to also hold onto Darnell before dragging him along to the bar. She quickly put his own drink aside to then shove two different red cups in his hands and picked up two more herself, then nodded her head towards the stairs. At this point, he was in too deep not to follow along. Darnell just gave a small shrug towards his redhead friend to answer the amused, questioning look.
After shuffling carefully upstairs was Darnell back in the main room. The house had filled up significantly more since he had first arrived. Though, the crowd still managed to somewhat evenly distribute itself around the area. And not too far from the basement door was a small group, a diverse mix of people chatting amongst each other and laughing without a care in the world. Pretty much all were dressed in a similar casual style, some wore a simple shirt and jeans combo similar to that of Rika, maybe some accessories to add a bit more detail into it all. But even in the bad lighting could Darnell recognize the deep blue of one of the shirts.
It was a sports jersey. And not just any, but that of the university's very own football team, Sherrington Bullet Sharks. He saw that shirt quite a lot, including the number and name printed on the back of it, ‘21 Ashton’.
Darnell felt his chest burning as CJ shot him a brief glance before recognizing and fully turning their head for a proper look. Their lips quickly curled into a wide grin and their hand came up to wave. He wanted to wave back, but just the slightest twitch of his muscles reminded Darnell that he was still holding drinks in his hands, leaving him to just nod his head at them.
“Hey Nells!” CJ greeted him. “Didn’t know you’d be here tonight. 'specially with how seriously you take that essay thing.”
Darnell laughed a little, hoping he did not make himself sound too awkward. “Yeah, my roomie dragged me here.” He handed out the drinks he helped carry as he spoke. “Like, I love a good party. But I was a bit.. too deep in work mode.”
“Ah yes, I know the feeling. Maybe I gotta take you to a few more of these parties then, get you to relax some more!” Their free hand came to rest on Darnell’s back and rub between his shoulder blades.
CJ was a very touchy person. At every visit, Darnell would get pulled into a hug. Any invitation or offer was accompanied by a loving squeeze of his shoulder. And a good joke earned Darnell a light jab to his upper arm. But even with all this established closeness, he still could feel the butterflies waking up to fly around in his stomach.
“Yeah. Sounds great, I really need a break every now and then,” he accepted the offer with a shy smile. Darnell’s gaze lingered on CJ for a little longer, until one of their apparent friends nudged their side for attention.
“Are we gonna get to know your new buddy now?” The other person gestured towards Darnell with the cup in her hand. CJ laughed bashfully.
“Right, sorry.” CJ apologized and finally introduced their friend group to Darnell. “You already know Rika. And these two are Sunghee and Egeith.”
Frankly, Darnell was not sure what exact type of friends he was expecting CJ to have. But certainly something closer to Rika, with her red dye ombré hair and often extra way of style. However, he was met with two very ordinary, if not nerdy looking people instead. Natural hair in a ponytail or short haircut, no flashy clothes or even just a shirt with some witty line printed on the front. These people were the definition of straight A student poster children. And yet, they were at this party.
Darnell greeted both with a polite wave. "Hey, 'm Darnell."
Egeith and Sunghee gave him the same gesture in response with a light smile. “Nice to meet ya.”
Darnell looked around the group briefly, hoping to find something to talk about. Rika had seemingly disappeared after giving out the drink to Sunghee, and CJ was standing somewhat in the middle as if they were acting as a mediator.
“So.. y’all got here just now or..?” Darnell was desperate to break the silence amongst the group.
All three nodded their heads. “Pretty much, yeah,” CJ answered. “Had to get ready first ‘n all. But it’s not that big a deal to come here when the party’s already been goin’ for a while. There’s not much to miss out on.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Darnell agreed in a small chuckle. He looked around again, this time more focused on the room than the small gathering of friends. “I s’pose you wanna go around and say hi to some folks here?”
CJ’s expression briefly changed to a wide eyed, somewhat clueless face as they hesitated to answer. “Uhm, yeah. Right! Didn’t get to that yet.”
“A’ight, not gonna keep ya from it then.”
“Sure, sure. I’ll see you around then!”
“Can’t miss me. ‘m downstairs near the drinks.” Darnell offered a quick smile. CJ acknowledged his words with a nod and waved as they began shuffling through the crowded room with Egeith and Sunghee. He watched the group leave for another moment before making a quick u-turn back downstairs to Pico.
Darnell pushed himself past increasingly drunk people to reach the redhead. “Damn, you look fucked,” Pico commented at the sight of his friend. “The fuck have you been doing?”
Darnell scrambled for words to say. “I was- I- Rika made me-” The laughter he heard after his first attempt made him remember that almost half the basketball team, near strangers were still close by and listening. He stood straight, clearing his throat as if that would help with his nervousness. “You-know-who is here.”
“Naww, someone got a crush?” One of the players asked. He swung the red solo cup in his hand in Darnell’s direction as he laughed.
“Who’s the lucky lady?” Another one asked straight away.
Pico did not need Darnell to say something. The just barely hidden annoyed face he made was enough for the redhead to understand. Now was really not the time he would want to explain to a bunch of drunks that bi people existed.
Darnell closed his eyes and took a slow breath. But instead of taking the hint, the team only continued to push on with their questions.
“C’mon! If you like ‘er, go out and talk ‘er up!”
“Yeah, don’ waste yer time with us here!”
Darnell pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers in frustration. “How the fuck do you imagine it to go down then? I just approach and fail to keep up a good convo for five minutes, if I’m lucky?”
“‘f course not! Y’gotta ask her ‘bout shit she likes, obviously!”
“And if ‘t goes nowhere, y’gonna see whether she likes you ‘r not. It’s ‘bout if she starts talkin’ herself or just leaves ya.”
Darnell glanced over to Pico again. His face was equally surprised. They had expected a lot, but not genuine and sort of useful advice. Perhaps, Darnell would thank the team for the help some day, when everyone was sober again. But surely not now. As much as he may have appreciated the help, Darnell was not going to find out whether they were the clingy type of drunks. “A’ight, imma keep this in mind.”
The guys grinned as if they were proud of themselves. Perhaps, this was their way of telling people they were ‘womanizers’, since they seemed to ‘understand the girls and what they want’.
Darnell did not spare them much more of his thoughts though. Even over the noisy mix of chatter and music, a voice stood out to him once more. He turned his head to see how CJ was trying to make their way into the basement, apologizing on their way for bumping into people. And once they had safely reached the lower floor, CJ briefly scanned the area before their eyes met with Darnell’s. The soft smile on their lips quickly turned into an excited grin, and his eyes grew wide before trying to hide his adoration with a flustered smile.
They both slipped past the other people in the room to stand in front of each other again. “Hi.” Darnell felt his heart skip a beat as the two spoke in unison. He laughed along with CJ over it.
“Glad to find you here,” CJ said.
“Oh- wait, really?”
CJ paused for a moment, only now seemingly realizing what they had said. “.. yeah! My friends are kinda inseparable from the dance thing upstairs right now. And I just.. didn’t feel like joining in.”
“Makes sense. So you were looking to spend time with me then?” Darnell hated himself for asking this question. But he was too curious as not to ask anyway.
“Exactly,” CJ answered, their grin lighting up briefly again. “I mean, I don’t wanna tear you away from your friends of course, if you’re-”
“Oh! No no, I’m not really..” Darnell took a quick look back at Pico and his teammates before turning back. “Yeah, nah. I’m very much free.”
“Great!” CJ’s chime had Darnell’s heart fluttering inside his chest. “Then I’ll just grab a drink before we go. ‘Cause.. this place is getting a bit too full for me.”
“Sure thing. Any ideas where to go instead?” Darnell asked while CJ quickly poured themself something from the bar into their cup.
“I was thinking outside. Get away from all the noise for a lil’ while.”
He nodded in agreement to the idea and received an amused grin in return. Before he knew it had CJ hooked into his arm, dragging him through the mass of people and out the front door.
The streetlamps were already illuminating the neighborhood and dozens of cars parked near the house. Only when the two finally stood outside noticed Darnell how much he actually needed this break. Hearing the laughter and loud, overlapping music become muffled made him feel much less on edge again. CJ seemed to share that feeling based on the change to their look. They were still smiling. But it was less strained, more genuine.
CJ let out a small hum and nodded their head to the side. That was the only warning Darnell got before being dragged further away from the noise and hectic. The two passed a bunch of smokers huddling together for a chat and other folks that were out for a break as well, until they found a good spot nearby to sit down in the grass.
Darnell looked over at CJ. He could feel his heartbeat all the way up in his throat, and he was unsure whether it was the nervousness or the alcohol that made his palms sweaty and his body heat up. All while the blonde sat there silently with their eyes still on the house they had just left.
“So, Egeith and Sunghee..” Darnell mumbled eventually. He did not know himself where he planned on going with that opener, let alone if he actually should start a conversation.
CJ seemed to catch on regardless, chortling and nodding in response. “Trust me, you’re not the first one to be surprised. But once you see them on stage, you’ll understand the type of person the two are.”
“Woah, wait- they’re in your band?”
“Yeah. Sunghee does second guitar, and Egeith the drums.”
Darnell took a moment to process the image this had prompted in his head. “These goody two-shoes? Nah, no chance. I can see it in Rika, and you kinda too. But them?” He shook his head and grinned.
“You kinda see it in me?” CJ could barely hold back their laughter throughout the sentence. “Please tell me, what does Rika have that I lack about looking like I’m in a band. Enlighten me!”
“I dunno! She just gives off that vibe, the ‘Don’t care, didn’t ask’. But you..” Darnell vaguely gestured up and down on CJ as he looked at them. “.. you are just giving too much frat boy. The hair helps a bit with breaking that, but the whole football thing really isn’t doing you a favour.”
The look he received scared Darnell for a moment. He genuinely thought that his words had sounded a bit too serious, that CJ was offended and now he had lost any bit of a chance of getting with them ever. Then that silly, toothy grin spread across their face as CJ began to laugh. "I’m sorry, Mister Teacher. I’ll make sure to look more ‘punk rock’ in the future.”
Darnell tutted, rolling his eyes. “It’s Mister Hodge. You should be able to remember it by now, with all the lectures we had together.”
CJ raised a brow at him. “As if I remember everyone’s name in our course. I rather use my brain power for more important business.”
“Right, you got other things to care about. Stuff like your music, or working out to tackle people for some pigskin.”
“Don’t be so high and mighty now.” CJ glanced over at the other, a subtle smile showing they knew not to take the banter seriously. “You got other business too, like… your family.”
Darnell figured that CJ had only brought it up for a lack of knowledge on his interests. And yet, he still was surprised by the accuracy of their guess. “I mean, yeah. Sorta. My mom just got a bit too much time on her hands, so she likes to check on me.. a lot. And to be honest, I don’t complain about all the good food she sends me.”
“Who could ever complain about free food?”
“I know. But it’s not just free, it’s homemade. You haven’t had a real feast unless you put yourself in a food coma during hanukkah.”
“Not sure if I should feel weird now or ask to be invited next time,” CJ said half jokingly, and Darnell chuckled along.
“As long as you’re free the whole day, I could definitely arrange an invite.”
“Alright. I’ll be looking forward to it then. But I’d like a small crash course first on what to do and to not do.”
Darnell just had to agree to that. How couldn’t he? It was perfect, not only inviting CJ to celebrate an important holiday together, but also having a new excuse to meet up more. He wanted to pinch himself for a moment, thinking this was too good to be true. But it did not take long for Darnell to be brought back to his senses.
Just as their conversation had ended in a comfortable silence came another partygoer out of the house’s backdoor. She stumbled her way across the porch before catching her own fall on the railing. It was seemingly a miracle already how she had managed to get out of that full place on her feet and not crawling on all fours.
CJ briefly shot a concerned glance at Darnell. They opened their mouth as if to say something, but were quickly cut off by the woman herself. She was leaning forward and retched horribly until she puked down into the bushes below.
“Yikes..” Darnell muttered. He was already holding his hand before his mouth and nose, wanting to keep the smell away from himself.
CJ cleared their throat as they pulled their eyes off the sight in an almost reluctant manner. The situation felt just like witnessing a car crash. Horrible and disgusting, but still making it impossible to look away. “Guess this means the party peak has been reached,” they chuckled hesitantly to lighten the mood.
Darnell nodded with an equally awkward smile. “I guess there’s not much more for me left to see here then. Not exactly a fan of.. that, after all.”
After CJ had stood up themself was Darnell offered their hand for help. “Did you at least enjoy the party a bit?” they asked him on their way back to the front of the house.
“.. yeah, I’d say I did,” Darnell answered. “Had some drinks, a few chats.. I guess I’m not that insane type of party guy as I used to be in my hometown.”
CJ laughed softly. “I didn’t know you were once like that.”
Darnell grinned at the other as they both stopped at the front door. “I guess we both don’t really look our part.”
“Touché.”
Looking inside, Darnell caught a glimpse of what looked like Pico pushing through the crowd towards the exit. He chose to stay waiting outside, while CJ seemed to be heading back into the noise and chaos.
“You’re gonna stay a while longer?” he asked.
“Yeah, but not that much probably. Just gonna keep an eye on my friends and bring them back to campus before anyone overdoes it.”
“Good luck then,” Darnell saluted CJ. “I’ll see you on Monday, soldier.”
CJ grinned and saluted him in return. “‘Til Monday,” they replied and slid past Pico to go back inside.
The redhead looked after them for another moment before giving Darnell a confused stare. “Is- are they insane?”
“Don’t think so,” he answered and shrugged. “Where’s the rest of your gang?”
“They discovered the beer pong setup, so I thought it was about time we’d bounce.”
“Perfect. I am ready to hit the bed.”
Pico scoffed. “You’re getting old. Seriously.” He put his arm on Darnell’s shoulder as they walked off the property and on their way back to campus.
“Careful there, kettle. You’re walking back with me.”
“I don’t think the saying works when I’m a white piece of paper, Nells.”
Pico was silent for the rest of the walk. He sometimes forgot how harshly Darnell could hit his shoulder over his stupid attempts at making jokes.
I made some stupid memes a while back. I didn’t really bother sorting them in any meaningful way, so I’ll put the AU in the alt text if it isn’t clear from the meme itself which is which
Living in the big city had never quite been CJ’s cup of tea. It’s all they’ve known for their whole life, and yet they hoped to one day get the chance to escape it all. And they did, inheriting the forgotten farm of their father in a distant valley.
There was a moment of hesitation. But ultimately, CJ sent a letter out to Takakura, an old friend of their father who still lived on the farm. They asked lots of questions about farming, wanting to know as much as possible before packing their bags to head out to Forget-Me-Not Valley. It was not at all comparable to the city. One could stand at the top of the mountain pass and overview the entirety of the Valley’s landscape. And yet, the small size was oddly comforting to CJ.
Takakura was kind enough to give CJ a tour around the farm, and later on introduce them to all of their new neighbors. It was a curious mix of people, some more ‘fitting’ into the countryside than others. Especially interesting was the fact that there was a local researcher not too far from the farm. Though, Daryl rather fitted the title of mad scientist.
Not even a full day into their new life, CJ already felt as if they had made the right decision. They could go seek out conversation with the locals whenever they had time and energy for it. But nobody would be upset if CJ were to not leave the farm for a week to have some peace and quiet with the cows.
It took a while for them to fully grow accustomed to the amount of work it took to run a farm. Every planted crop and each new animal meant more time to get through the daily upkeep routine. But they never complained. In fact, any small bit of expansion made the place feel more and more like home to CJ.
***
On a late summer day, CJ was just coming back from the goddess pond woods nearby. They had spent their off time visiting the harvest sprites Nik, Nak, and Flak, and fishing by the small waterfall. Takakura was returning from his walk around the valley that same moment. He joined CJ on the pasture to talk while they were busy milking the cows.
“Did you know there’s someone new coming in the valley?” He asked as a means to bring up the topic.
CJ shook their head in response, “Nope, first time hearing it now.”
“Apparently Daryl has found himself an intern. Though, I still don’t understand what he’d need someone else’s help for..”
“Probably just the hopes that he can snag some food off of ‘em.” CJ stretched their back as they stood upright again and turned to look at Takakura. “When’s the newbie coming?”
“Some folks say tomorrow around noon. I’ll probably be still out in the city myself then. You should go and say hi, though. Show him that not everyone is such a nutcase like Daryl.”
CJ had planned on stopping by already, but they did not mind having another excuse for the visit. Thus, CJ waited the next day for the arrival of Daryl’s new assistant after completing their morning tasks. And just as the clock hit noon, an unknown face strutted over the small bridge. CJ was met with a lean, black man with shining blue eyes and long braids hanging down his head. He looked far too sane to be working with the valley’s scientist.
The newcomer introduces himself to CJ as Darnell. And although the two were working in vastly different fields, they still came to meet each other regularly at the Blue Bar after a hard day's worth of work.
Over time, the evening drinks turned into daily visits from Darnell on the farm. He would spend his breaks and days off helping out CJ with taking care of the fields and livestock.
It surprised nobody in Forget-Me-Not Valley that despite his year long internship having ended, Darnell was staying to live in the small community.
A Bonus chapter for the "You rocked my Heart" story.
***
Darnell stood in the living room, his hands clenched into fists as he had no choice but to keep his head tilted up and stare straight ahead. "Mom, please, how much longer will I have to wait?"
"I'm sorry, Nelly. It's been ages since I had to fix someone's bow tie," Karen muttered as she focused on the task at hand. Though, her answer did not seem to satisfy her son, as he let out a heavy and frustrated groan. With the tie tightened and in place moved Karen her hands to lay on Darnell's shoulders. "Give me just one more second to look at you properly."
She finally let go and took a couple of steps back, letting her eyes wander up and down a few times to catch every detail. In front of her stood her second oldest child, wearing a dark rusty red suit jacket over a white tuxedo shirt with a bow tie. His black dress pants matched with the equally dark leather shoes which he wore only for special occasions. The leather was not fully broken in yet, but still comfy enough to wear for this evening's occasion.
While Karen absolutely adored the look was Darnell still not convinced. "Are you sure this is good enough?.." he asked as his hands nervously shot up to fix the long curly strands despite them resting in place perfectly. If it were not for his mother gently grabbing his hands and moving them away, he might have started picking at everything on himself. "Baby, believe me when I tell you that you look perfect. Not over or under dressed. It's just right."
Darnell looked at Karen for another moment. The anxiety in him was strong. But her caring, calm look managed to make him let go of the breath he had not even noticed holding in. He took another moment to calm himself down before they both left the house to get into the car.
It was already visible from a distance how big of a crowd was coming to the high school. Cars parked anywhere possible to drop off kids that were dressed up in formal attire similar to Darnell's.
The near traffic jam made it not exactly easy for Karen to find a spot to stop at. But if someone knew how to be tenacious, especially on the road, it was her.
She turned to her son who had gotten only more nervous upon seeing the amount of people wandering around and making their way to the gymnasium. "You alright?" she asked, despite knowing what type of answer she would get, a hasty shaking of his head. Karen just smiled, stopping the car's engine before she got out to open the door on the passenger side and offered her hand to Darnell. He reluctantly accepted her help and walked with her towards the main building of the school.
"Everything will be fine. It's just prom, and your final one, too," Karen told him in an attempt to calm his nerves.
Meanwhile Darnell looked all over the school grounds, searching for a familiar face, but to no avail. "What if they don't come here. Got too anxious and stayed home?"
"Then you're still staying here and having fun with your other friends." Her answer seemed to not convince her son to stay. She grabbed his shoulders, turning him to look right at her as she continued to speak. "If you were to leave now, what would happen if they showed up just the moment after, hm?"
"They.. would think I ditched 'em.." he muttered.
"Exactly. Only difference in that case, they would be right with that assumption."
Darnell hated it whenever his mother was right and gave him no chance to take the easy way out. Though, he was always appreciative of it afterwards. He slouched his shoulders with another sigh and eventually nodded to agree with her. Darnell was getting lost in his mind, trying to think of ways to enjoy the evening with just Nene and Pico. That was, until Karen gave him a small nudge. "Well, look who's just now coming over here."
Walking up the path came Joane with her oldest child. The two were still in conversation with each other until CJ stopped in their tracks at the sight of Darnell. Their mouth stood open as they had apparently lost the ability to speak. CJ wore a dark grey suit jacket, hanging unbuttoned from their shoulders as if to show off the matching waistcoat, white button-up and red tie underneath.
Joane had to give them a gentle push forward to help break them free from their paralysis.
"You look.. amazing," the young couple said almost in sync to each other. They both were at a loss for words, not knowing how much they should say while standing out in the open.
"Come on, go and enjoy your prom now," Joane tried to keep her giggles down as much as possible while talking. Darnell and CJ slowly nodded and each gave their mothers a brief hug before walking off, awkwardly shoving their hand into their pockets.
Karen and Joane watched in a soft smile as the two left before they headed back to their cars.
The walk over to the gymnasium was not long from where the two had met up, but it felt endlessly far away regardless. Neither of them knew how to speak up, what to say or do. It took a lot of courage for Darnell to open his mouth, “Y’know, I was scared for a bit you wouldn’t come. Leave me here all dressed up for no reason..”
CJ shook their head, chuckling softly. “I would never. How could I pass up on the opportunity to go to prom with you?” The grin on their lips softened slowly into a weak smile the longer they looked at Darnell. “.. But I know what you mean, I kinda had the same fear.”
Darnell nodded to himself for a moment. He then offered a loving smile back to CJ before both stopped in front of the gym's entrance doors.
Many more teens walked past the couple completely unbothered. It baffled CJ every year again how many students would be graduating at the same time as them, how many of the faces they wouldn't be able to recognise as someone from their school. Music was pouring from the speakers all the way outside along with sounds of chatter and laughter, heels and dress shoes clicking on the usually squeaky floors, all coming together as a big cacophony of the average school noise levels. Minus the songs, on most days.
Neither of them noticed how they ended up being swept inside and sat on the bleachers. And even if someone had spiked the punch they both drank, it would not have helped ease up the tense mood between them. While all the other students were dancing, drinking and just enjoying themselves stayed Darnell and CJ away from the crowd and shared somewhat forced smiles.
Nobody was ever paying attention to either of the two, yet it felt like too high of a risk to even hold hands. Even while talking, they both kept a low voice and chose their words carefully. Just to be on the safe side.
The party continued with not a single interruption. No fights broke out, nobody ran out crying dramatically. And as nearly everyone kept on having a great time, the music eventually changed as well. The fun and booming songs from before had become slow and romantic. Though, they both only really seemed to notice this shift when the dance floor was crowded with slow dancing pairs instead of the wild mass of students jumping around for fun.
Something about the sight must have bothered CJ. They let out a heavy sigh, muttered a barely audible "'scuse me" and headed for the nearest exit.
Darnell hesitated at first, but decided soon enough to follow them outside. Just a couple of steps around the corner stood the blonde, one hand cupped before their mouth while snapping their lighter for a flame with the other hand.
"Parties ain't your thing, huh?.." Darnell asked with a cautious laugh.
CJ swayed their head a little as they took a drag from their cigarette. "Of that size? Yeah, not my thing." The few lights around them in contrast to the dark surroundings only highlighted the smoke escaping their mouth at every word. "I prefer to just be around people I know and trust."
"Me too," Darnell sighed a little. "Don't gotta hide who you are then. Just.. do your thing and have fun."
CJ agreed in a low hum. They looked onto the shadowy school grounds, taking their time to think and have another drag of their smoke. "I could give less of a fuck about the others in there, I won't see most of them again after tonight anyway.. but I can't, for some reason."
"It's scary, never knowing how everyone might react.." Darnell let the silence linger for a little longer before he took a couple steps, standing shoulder to shoulder with CJ now to snag the cigarette from their fingers.
They gave him an exaggeratedly shocked look when Darnell took a drag himself, making him grin back at them smugly.
"I have seriously ruined you," CJ joked. The soft smile on their lips filled Darnell with joy, seeing them genuinely have fun for at least a brief moment again.
"Don't worry, I was a lost cause already. If it weren't for you, it would've happened in college at the latest."
They both chortled lightly as their eyes met. CJ reached their hands out to gingerly hold onto that of Darnell. And while they quickly reclaimed the cigarette for another puff, their other hand still held onto his.
Darnell did not want to break the gaze for even a moment. He felt enchanted by those soft, grey doe eyes looking back at him.
In fact, their eyes were so captivating, Darnell did not notice CJ dropping their cigarette on the paved ground to then lay their hand on his waist. He instinctively rested his head against their shoulder and his hand on their back.
They both gently swayed from side to side. But neither cared all too much about matching the rhythm of the muffled music. For as long as the songs kept playing, Darnell would just let himself be held and forget everything else around him.
When he felt the faint kiss on his temple, Darnell was reluctant to pull his head back from its resting position. Though, he was not really upset once their eyes met once more.
"Wanna go back inside?" CJ's voice was just barely above a whisper. "I think a bunch left already."
Darnell took a second before he nodded. As soothing as their little dance had been, he had to admit that the air outside was growing colder. He was lead by the hand back into the gymnasium. And to both his and CJ's surprise, a lot more students had left than expected. Maybe they had spent more time away from the prom than they had thought.
The crowd thinned out even more while the couple stood off to the sides to warm themselves up. And still, the same type of music was playing over the speakers. Most, if not all of the popular kids had already left, probably to party elsewhere without supervision. Those who were still scattered around the dance floor were the quiet ones, the nerds and outsiders, taking the opportunity to just be amongst themselves without being harassed by some bully.
Darnell watched the peaceful mingling take place in front of him. He silently rested his head against CJ's arm and did not spare them even a glance to come off as nonchalant. But he got flustered just a moment later, feeling their arm wrap around his waist with a small squeeze in a similarly casual manner.
"Not your type of prom?" CJ asked in a teasing voice.
Darnell huffed. He briefly turned his head away to hide the amused smile on his face. There was no need to enable CJ's behaviour. "Yeah, not really my type of crowd, y'know?"
"Then tell me what your type would be."
"Oh, I really love the silent, nonexistent type. The ones we had outside, remember?"
CJ chuckled softly, taking the opportunity to subtly pull Darnell just a tiny bit closer. "Fair. They do be a great crowd. But they can be horribly cold, too."
"Ah, gotta make some sacrifices sometimes," Darnell shrugged.
CJ looked around the room. Based on how the principal kept checking his watch and then glancing over to the DJ, the prom was going to come to a close soon enough. And the small bunch of students left did not exactly seem to be the kind CJ would need to be careful around.
They took another glimpse at Darnell and how he comfortably leaned against them still. "Well," CJ muttered before fully pulling him into their arms. "I suppose you might have to make a sacrifice tonight. Because I am not going outside again."
Darnell was staring up at them, dumbfounded at the sheer boldness of his partner. "I am a horrible dancer though," he tried backing out of the situation with a nervous laugh.
"We just do the same we did before." CJ grinned, following their words with a gentle squeeze to his waist.
"The others might notice us, though."
"Those people wouldn't dare even now to speak up against a teacher."
Darnell still looked unsure. He wanted to take this one opportunity, but the knowledge of other people seeing them was almost terrifying.
CJ's grin did not falter for a moment. "Close your eyes then."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Trust me on this one. Please, Nelly."
After a short moment of hesitation, Darnell gave in. He did not need his eyes to notice CJ leaning close to his ear.
"And now," they spoke softly to him. "We are going to dance. Just.. imagine this room entirely empty. Pretend it's only us."
Darnell had to fight the instinct in him to open his eyes for a moment. His arms moved up to lazily hang around CJ's neck, resting his head back on their shoulder once more. And although it took him a bit to fully allow himself to rely on CJ's lead, he noticed himself becoming more calm over time.
Maybe he should take more of their advice in the future.
The song itself might have been no longer than a couple minutes. The dance, however, felt as if they were not even close to ending yet. If the music were to just keep on playing, both of them would probably not stop any time soon, nor notice that everyone else already left to go home. But it was not hard to tell that the prom was going to end rather soon after this last song.
The last verse was starting to play, prompting Darnell to look up at CJ again.
"Hey, I didn't tell you to open them again," CJ giggled softly. Their toothy grin made Darnell's heart flutter even stronger in his chest.
"Thank you, Jay-Bee," he said. "I wouldn't have had this much fun without you tonight."
"The pleasure is all mine."
Darnell could not stop smiling as his eyes stayed locked on CJ. This chaotic dork was just too lovable. That person who had suddenly made school life not just bearable, but actually fun again.
He just had to kiss them on the spot. It would have felt wrong if he had not. Even though they both knew this was just one of the hundreds of thousands of kisses the two would share throughout their life.
A good half hour ride away from town stands the Old Ashton Ranch. It’s been passed down through generations and known for the excellent steed being raised and trained on the estate. But after a long drought, the family was forced to prematurely sell half of their horses and let go of all ranch hands in order to keep the rest. Cristoff also had to take on a job as cowboy to get money in hopes of getting the ranch back to its former glory.
The unfortunate events left Joane to take over with the help of her mother and three children, Henry, Aaron, and CJ (Cristoff Junior). Helena took care most of the house chores as best she could at her age, and Joane tended to the horses’ needs. Aaron and Henry also tried to help out as much they could after school. But the biggest role that Cristoff had left open was taken over by his oldest son.
From sunrise to sundown, they would be out training the younger horses and taking them to neighbouring farms and towns to accustom them to the presence of other animals, noise and crowds of people. CJ always looked up to their father and aspired to take over the ranch some day, but only now had they come to fully understand the amount of labour it took to run everything. So whenever possible, they would ride into town and go into a few shops to buy anything the family asked for, but also taking their time to chat with the shopkeepers (“to get the horses used to waiting outside”).
Their favourite place to stop at was “Hodge’s Crafts”, a large shop known for the wide variety of products they offered. Anything related to clothing, fabrics, yarns, leather or wood work could be found or commissioned here. And it was visible in every piece sold how much love the family had for the craft. If the Ashtons ever needed something, this was the first place they would go looking.
On a particularly tiring day, CJ rode off to the shop for a much needed break. Just the way into town was already enough to keep up their grumpy mood. Jackvill, the young horse CJ had been training for a few months, would not stop bucking his hind legs out at every other step, nor would he go any slower than a trot. All they could hope for was at least a few minutes of peace in the store, once Jackvill was tied to the pole.
Darnell's head perked up at the sound of the bell hanging over the door. Finally, a customer had come in. It was starting to get boring to the point of him starting to sort all the bills in the register to face all the same way. "Welcome to Hodge's Crafts. I'm Darnell, let me know if you need anything."
CJ already knew the standard greeting here. They would usually just nod their head, say a 'hello' back and then disappear somewhere in the store to get the things they needed. But after this horrible ride, they really needed some company to get their mood back up. "A bunch of things, actually."
"Oh," Darnell was surprised, yet relieved. He would not have to stand behind the counter awkwardly and pretend he was not peeking around the aisles to see what the customer was up to. "Well, what can I help you with?"
CJ put a creased piece of paper down in front of him. It was a rather short list, but the horrible handwriting made it a riddle to decipher any words. At least CJ mostly remembered the contents of the list anyway, thus making it easier to find everything.
On their way back to the till, they both passed the storefront windows. Darnell noticed the horse tied to the pole. One, because of the beautiful pattern of its coat. But mostly because Jackvill had his ears turned back flush to his neck and would not stand still for even a second.
CJ sighed at the sight, "Sorry 'bout him. Jax is still pretty green 'n stubborn.."
"I dunno, he seems a bit.. too uncomfortable for that," Darnell muttered. "Would you mind if I took a closer look at him?"
"Not at all. Though I dunno how much you might be able to find."
The two drop off the items by the till and headed outside to where Jackvill stood, or rather danced around. Darnell watched him for a while, how the horse rolled up his neck as far as possible to straighten out his back.
"Could you maybe give me the saddle for a sec?" Darnell asked after a moment. CJ shrugged. They were not entirely sure what the other was up to. But at this point, they were willing to try anything to have Jackvill be less of a nuisance. And just a couple of seconds after removing the saddle stood Jackvill more relaxed and let his head hang, ears twitching from side to side.
Upon closer inspection back inside, Darnell found the source of all the trouble. "This saddle is utterly worn. Must be the core that's got Jax in pain."
"Well I'll be damned," CJ cursed under their breath. "I s'pose I need a new one then?"
"Perhaps. But maybe it's possible to just change the core and readjust the saddle to fit Jax."
"Just what I needed.."
Darnell saw the dull look on CJ's face. It took no expert to see this surprise cost would not be easy for them to pay for. But that was the moment he got a brilliant idea.
"Okay, how 'bout a deal."
"What kind?.." CJ gave him a cautious look.
"I'll get the saddle repaired at no charge. But in return, you get our new carriage horses ready for their new job."
CJ still seemed suspicious of the offer, glancing at Darnell for a moment as if to figure out his intentions. Regardless, they eventually extended their hand to shake his. "It's a deal."
That day, Jackvill had to be walked back to the ranch as is back was loaded with no saddle or bags, but still had to carry the new things CJ had bought for their family. But they were happy nonetheless. About the deal, as well as the opportunity to leave the ranch more often and yet be in good company with one of the Hodges.
A good half hour ride away from town stands the Old Ashton Ranch. It’s been passed down through generations and known for the excellent steed being raised and trained on the estate. But after a long drought, the family was forced to prematurely sell half of their horses and let go of all ranch hands in order to keep the rest. Cristoff also had to take on a job as cowboy to get money in hopes of getting the ranch back to its former glory.
The unfortunate events left Joane to take over with the help of her mother and three children, Henry, Aaron, and CJ (Cristoff Junior). Helena took care most of the house chores as best she could at her age, and Joane tended to the horses’ needs. Aaron and Henry also tried to help out as much they could after school. But the biggest role that Cristoff had left open was taken over by his oldest son.
From sunrise to sundown, they would be out training the younger horses and taking them to neighbouring farms and towns to accustom them to the presence of other animals, noise and crowds of people. CJ always looked up to their father and aspired to take over the ranch some day, but only now had they come to fully understand the amount of labour it took to run everything. So whenever possible, they would ride into town and go into a few shops to buy anything the family asked for, but also taking their time to chat with the shopkeepers (“to get the horses used to waiting outside”).
Their favourite place to stop at was “Hodge’s Crafts”, a large shop known for the wide variety of products they offered. Anything related to clothing, fabrics, yarns, leather or wood work could be found or commissioned here. And it was visible in every piece sold how much love the family had for the craft. If the Ashtons ever needed something, this was the first place they would go looking.
On a particularly tiring day, CJ rode off to the shop for a much needed break. Just the way into town was already enough to keep up their grumpy mood. Jackvill, the young horse CJ had been training for a few months, would not stop bucking his hind legs out at every other step, nor would he go any slower than a trot. All they could hope for was at least a few minutes of peace in the store, once Jackvill was tied to the pole.
Darnell's head perked up at the sound of the bell hanging over the door. Finally, a customer had come in. It was starting to get boring to the point of him starting to sort all the bills in the register to face all the same way. "Welcome to Hodge's Crafts. I'm Darnell, let me know if you need anything."
CJ already knew the standard greeting here. They would usually just nod their head, say a 'hello' back and then disappear somewhere in the store to get the things they needed. But after this horrible ride, they really needed some company to get their mood back up. "A bunch of things, actually."
"Oh," Darnell was surprised, yet relieved. He would not have to stand behind the counter awkwardly and pretend he was not peeking around the aisles to see what the customer was up to. "Well, what can I help you with?"
CJ put a creased piece of paper down in front of him. It was a rather short list, but the horrible handwriting made it a riddle to decipher any words. At least CJ mostly remembered the contents of the list anyway, thus making it easier to find everything.
On their way back to the till, they both passed the storefront windows. Darnell noticed the horse tied to the pole. One, because of the beautiful pattern of its coat. But mostly because Jackvill had his ears turned back flush to his neck and would not stand still for even a second.
CJ sighed at the sight, "Sorry 'bout him. Jax is still pretty green 'n stubborn.."
"I dunno, he seems a bit.. too uncomfortable for that," Darnell muttered. "Would you mind if I took a closer look at him?"
"Not at all. Though I dunno how much you might be able to find."
The two drop off the items by the till and headed outside to where Jackvill stood, or rather danced around. Darnell watched him for a while, how the horse rolled up his neck as far as possible to straighten out his back.
"Could you maybe give me the saddle for a sec?" Darnell asked after a moment. CJ shrugged. They were not entirely sure what the other was up to. But at this point, they were willing to try anything to have Jackvill be less of a nuisance. And just a couple of seconds after removing the saddle stood Jackvill more relaxed and let his head hang, ears twitching from side to side.
Upon closer inspection back inside, Darnell found the source of all the trouble. "This saddle is utterly worn. Must be the core that's got Jax in pain."
"Well I'll be damned," CJ cursed under their breath. "I s'pose I need a new one then?"
"Perhaps. But maybe it's possible to just change the core and readjust the saddle to fit Jax."
"Just what I needed.."
Darnell saw the dull look on CJ's face. It took no expert to see this surprise cost would not be easy for them to pay for. But that was the moment he got a brilliant idea.
"Okay, how 'bout a deal."
"What kind?.." CJ gave him a cautious look.
"I'll get the saddle repaired at no charge. But in return, you get our new carriage horses ready for their new job."
CJ still seemed suspicious of the offer, glancing at Darnell for a moment as if to figure out his intentions. Regardless, they eventually extended their hand to shake his. "It's a deal."
That day, Jackvill had to be walked back to the ranch as is back was loaded with no saddle or bags, but still had to carry the new things CJ had bought for their family. But they were happy nonetheless. About the deal, as well as the opportunity to leave the ranch more often and yet be in good company with one of the Hodges.
Took me long enough to finish this, only for me to probably never end up using it. But either way, let me introduce you to Sherrington University’s football team
*drum roll*
The Sherrington Bullet Sharks and their mascot Big Bit
With each passing day continued fall to approach, announcing itself in the form of colored leaves and grey skies. From the other side of the glass balcony door came an unusual lack of light as dark clouds poured out rain onto the campus. It was far from actual stormy weather. And yet, it did not surprise Darnell in the slightest to see barely anyone spending that morning out on the green. Only a few people were making their way along the slippery stone paths with umbrellas in hand, probably to get to the library or an appointment before classes began.
“I damn hope you don’t plan on going on the balcony in that weather,” Pico warned as he returned from his daily errand run to the kitchen. He gestured at the weather with his mug while handing Darnell the other.
Darnell shook his head as he took hold of his own drink and took a slow sip of it. “Got no reason to catch myself a cold.”
“Good to know we see eye to eye on that. I really don’t feel like missing any classes.”
The two settled on either of their beds, silently watching the rain go on without an end in sight. It was oddly beautiful to have this change in weather and scenery, having the chance to let their eyes rest on the green in front of them without the daily busyness trying to distract. Starting the day this quietly felt like a rare treat to the two friends.
The lack of conversation had Darnell finishing up his drink faster than usual. He put the empty mug aside to get dressed in some warmer clothes. Digging through the back of his closet felt oddly comforting, to finally bring back the clothes Darnell had put away for other, colder days.
“What the fuck,” Pico uttered just as Darnell put on his blue sweater.
“Ey, no need to cuss at me for my outfit. That ain’t cool of you.” He scoffed. It was normal for both to roast each other on their outfits, though it still was a bit too early for Darnell to go along with Pico's comments. But for once, this had not been the intention of the redhead.
“Nah, look!”
Darnell furrowed his brows in confusion as he turned and looked outside onto campus to where Pico was pointing. Completely unbothered by the miserable weather stood CJ by the usual corner, looking up at the balcony as if they were waiting for something to happen.
“That motherfucker-“ Darnell cussed to himself and his expression changed from annoyance to disbelief. He did not hesitate to storm out onto the balcony and yell down at the blonde, “CJ, are you insane?!” He could not hear their response through the amount of background sounds drowning out their voice in the distance.
“Get your ass inside, right now!!” Darnell continued to yell and waved with both of his hands towards himself to make sure the message would get across. And it seemed to have worked, seeing how CJ slouched their shoulders and trotted back down the path towards the dormitory.
Pico watched his friend jump back inside and frantically search through his closet. “The fuck are you now up to?” He asked with a raised brow and a smirk on his lips. The question was more to confirm his thoughts than answer genuine confusion.
“Making sure CJ also doesn’t get a cold!” Darnell answered quickly, either purposely dismissing Pico's teasing or not having heard the laughing tone of the question. With a large towel in hand ran Darnell out of the room to the stairs. Knowing how slow the elevator was, he did not even bother wasting a single second considering it as an option.
Darnell skipped down the steps as fast as he could in a selfmade sense of urgency. And just when he had reached the ground floor came the tall blonde walking in through the front door. All of their clothes were soaking wet and clinging to their skin, they were leaving a trail of small puddles with every step, and the usually neat hairbun had fallen apart into dozens of dark strands hanging from their head like sad curtains.
“You idiot,” Darnell let out an airy laugh as he tried catching his breath. “You got me sprinting down here like a maniac!” He bunched the towel into a ball and threw it at CJ, making them laugh as well.
CJ shrugged and began drying off their hair and face without a care in the world. “Or maybe this was my plan all along. Some exercise surely wouldn’t hurt you.”
“I would hate you so damn much for this, I could kill you.”
CJ snickered at the harmless threat. They put the towel over their shoulders for a bit more warmth as the water slowly began to cool them down. “I wouldn’t do that, don’t worry. I don’t have a deathwish,” CJ explained as they followed Darnell, who was heading back upstairs.
“Well, what genius idea was it then that got you running in the rain?” He asked purely out of curiosity. Darnell was not the type to go out doing sports every day. He already could not relate to sportsy people, let alone anyone who went out jogging during rainy weather.
“I wanted to see you and say good morning. Or, well, greet you. We don’t yell ‘good morning’ to each other after all.”
Darnell stopped in his tracks and stared at CJ in disbelief. In his head, their nonchalant tone did not match with their words. “Please tell me you’re joking,” he asked and hoped their answer would not make his heart jump a second time.
CJ began to grin at the shocked face in front of them. “No, seriously! Seeing you every morning sorta became part of my routine, so it feels wrong not to do that.” As if words had not been enough, CJ’s big-eyed, gentle expression was proof that they were not joking around.
Knowing he was even a part of the reason they had gone out running in the rain made Darnell feel fuzzy inside. For one, it would make him feel guilty if CJ ended up with a harsh cold because of this. But oddly enough, Darnell also found the whole situation somewhat endearing. This minor role he played in CJ’s daily life was still important enough to them to keep it as part of their routine.
Darnell chortled weakly for a lack of a better response and continued the walk upstairs in silence. When they both finally reached the second floor waited Pico in the hall already, holding out a bathrobe to the tall blonde. “Might as well go in the showers, dry yourself off there before you turn the place into an aquarium.”
“Aye aye,” CJ gave him a two-finger salute, replacing the towel over their shoulders with the bathrobe. Before they could ask for it pointed Darnell already down the hall for direction. “I’ll bring you some clothes to borrow in a sec.” He watched for a moment as CJ nodded and made their way over to the shower rooms.
Back in his room, Darnell searched for any oversized clothes he owned. The height difference him and CJ had was not too great, at most a couple inches. But after having wet clothes clinging to one’s skin, it was probably best to have something loose and comfy on for a change.
Pico leaned against his desk while Darnell was once more with his head in the closet. “You’re down bad, huh?” He began to grin when he received an unamused look in return.
“Wow, you’re a bright one. Your parents must be proud,” Darnell scoffed, not bothering to let Pico distract him much longer.
“Hey, I wasn’t the one who took so long to accept that fact.”
“Does it get your dick hard when you’re right, or why d’you keep pestering me with this?”
Pico shrugged his shoulders, the grin on his lips growing ever so slightly, “Just enjoy pulling you back down in the crab bucket.”
“I bet five bucks you’re the first crab of the bucket to get eaten.”
“Yeah, sure.” Pico dismissed the conversation with a wave of his hand. “Don’t keep CJ waiting too long. They’re already waiting for their loyal simp.”
Darnell tutted to himself as he grabbed the clothes and left. He did not want to feed into Pico’s teasing any further.
He headed down the hall to the communal washrooms where CJ was waiting with a soft smile. “I hope they won’t be too tight on you,” Darnell said and handed over his clothes.
“I’m sure it’ll do. Anything is better than going back to my dorm like this.” CJ gestured down on themselves to point out the drenched outfit under the bathrobe. The already dark blue colour of the sports outfit was even deeper from the rain. But at least it had stopped dripping water all over the place and creating a slipping hazard, for the most part.
Darnell cleared his throat as he pulled his eyes off CJ’s body to look at their face again. "Yeah, you're right," he tried laughing off the feeling of self-consciousness that was slowly brewing in his guts. He received another warm smile before the other disappeared with his clothes in hand, giving Darnell enough time to quickly pick up his things for going to class.
It did not take long for CJ to get changed into the new clothes, and once the damp outfit was bagged up went Darnell and CJ outside on their way back across the campus.
The rain had become less heavy over time, but it was still enough to have them both share Darnell’s umbrella for the short walk. Neither of them said a word, only when their eyes happened to meet exchanged both a few gentle smiles. It was already enough to make it worth for Darnell how he had to hold the umbrella up higher than usual for CJ to comfortably walk under it.
They both came to stop by the main entrance of the other dormitory, still smiling at each other in silence for another moment.
"Well.. thanks for the kind help," CJ eventually spoke up softly. Their hand was quietly fiddling with the plastic bag loops as if they wanted Darnell not notice it.
Meanwhile Darnell felt himself gripping more onto the umbrella handle, oblivious to the small rustling sounds. Of course CJ would thank him, and yet he still got surprised by their words and left speechless for a moment. It was a struggle for him to even get a coherent sentence out. "Ah- I mean, I.. that's just..." He groaned to himself and threw his other hand up dismissively, "No big deal. As long as you don't get sick, I'm happy."
CJ's smile grew from gentle to big and amused, accompanied with a small laugh. "Alright, might as well quarantine myself for a few days to stay healthy for you."
For you
The words echoed in Darnell's mind, repeatedly dribbling into his thoughts like the rain around him. No matter how much he would try, Darnell could not remember how the conversation ended, what happened in his classes that day, nor was he able to notice the weather change on his way back to his room. All that his mind would focus on for all that time were these two words and the voice which had said them.
Though, Darnell got no further than a couple steps into his dorm before Pico practically jumped in front of him with a wide grin, making him finally break from his trance. “Hey! I got news!”
He blinked as he took a moment to recognise his friend again. “Good ones I assume?”
“Duh!”
“If I can still relax in the meantime, go ‘head and tell me,” Darnell gave Pico a somewhat tired smile. He dropped his bag in its usual spot by his desk, wanting to change into more comfortable clothes before he would sit down for some work.
Pico leaned against the wall near the desk as he talked, “So I was in class, and we were all waitin’ for the prof to show up. And some people were talking near me, so I joined in ‘n stuff. We talked about assignments and all that, and-“
“You gonna get to the point?”
“I was about to, jeez!” Pico threw his hands in the air as he complained. “Anyway, one of them then mentioned a party for the weekend! Not like a closed circle one, anyone on campus can join. So, what do you think?”
Darnell hesitated with his answer. He finally sat by the desk, avoiding eye contact with Pico until he finally had words for him, “I’m not sure, man. Still got my essay to work on.”
“Oh come on! You got time still, and it’s just one night!”
“One night I could spend with work and getting some proper sleep.”
“As if you were the type to need a real sleep schedule to function,” Pico scoffed as if he were trying to do an impression of his little sister. The Flintson siblings really liked to copy behaviours from each other.
Darnell already knew Pico would not let him off the hook that easily. If nearly ten years of friendship had taught Darnell something, it was that the redhead would probably continue to pester him about this party every free minute they got around each other. Maybe even over text too.
“Man, you know I gotta write my essay, ‘nd I don't even have all the books I need yet! I’ll try to be productive and get as much done as I can here. If, and I’m saying if, I get more than 75 percent done until Saturday, I will join ya. That good?”
Pico's smile grew wide and toothy. And in that moment, Darnell was not sure how good of an idea this decision was. But as long as he had Pico off his back, he would not waste much more time thinking about this than necessary.
And although Darnell finally had the mental capacity and time for focusing on his course work, it was not exactly easy to get a lot done with half the material needed not being around for him to reference and research with. Of course, he was aware of the internet's existence. But to him, it was far easier (and frankly more satisfying) to have a book in his hands to flip through and find the answers he was looking for than typing in some keywords into a search engine and pray that it would spit out some decent and reliable sources.
Reluctantly, Darnell had to surrender after getting no further than the essay's title and opening. He headed out to the library to find at least one or two books to take with him.
Although the walk was not far, he still gladly acknowledged the end of the rainy weather. The sky was still dimmed by the grey clouds overhead, but they were not intimidating enough to make him take an umbrella along that time. He knew what he would be looking for, so he was sure the trip would be short enough to not get surprised with a sudden rain shower. And indeed, it was a quick run around the science section. Though, it was partially due to a handful of books on his list having been rented out already. But his findings were still good enough for a start.
As Darnell reached the counter, however, the library assistant was gone. They were nowhere to be seen, but that was not really surprising, considering the size of the building. He had no choice but to simply wait for their return. Darnell needed the books, and if he did not check them out today, they might be gone soon for who knows how long, just like the others he could not find.
He placed the heavy books on the counter, ready for scanning and took out his phone to kill some time. Darnell was reading back the messages between him and his mother, discussing the latest happenings in his hometown when two students queued up behind him. The fact that they were in a library did not seem to keep either of them from giggling and chatting with each other in an outside-level voice.
“And, oh my gawd, I swear they must be getting desperate for real.”
- “What did they do?”
“Remember how bad it was raining this morning? Hailey told me they went out jogging anyway. Like, their clothes stuck to them, messy hair and all that shit.”
Darnell tried not to make it obvious as he began to listen in on the conversation happening behind his back.
- “Jeez. Aren’t their outfits enough anymore to get a good fuck around here?”
“Apparently not. But really, who wants to bang the campus slut?”
The laughter was incredibly distracting. Darnell had a hard time focusing on any of the thoughts starting to race in his head. He had completely forgotten about the chat he was reading before, he did not even remember why he was in the library anymore. That was until finally, the assistant returned with an exhausted laugh, “Sorry for the wait!”
“Ah, all good.” Darnell offered a small smile as reassurance. He would have to push the matter aside for a later time. For now, his priorities were to get out of the library and finally get some proper work done on his essay. There was no time to waste on some stupid gossip about the person he had lent his clothes to this morning. It was not worth it to involve himself in what most likely was just the usual type of drama hunters who made mountains out of any molehill they could find.
*
The next day was not pouring down as badly as the one before. But Darnell and Pico decided it was best to spend their morning routine inside again regardless. Neither felt it was worth getting dressed just for them to tolerate the cold winds. Especially when this would in turn also make their coffee cool down even quicker.
And although it was no problem for them to not engage in conversation, Pico still felt as if something was off. The way that Darnell frowned at his mug was not normal. "You good?"
"Huh?-" Darnell's expression softened rather quickly as he switched to look at Pico. "Yeah, just a bit surprised CJ ain't showing up today."
Pico raised a brow, part teasing, part genuine wonder. "Are you really that desperate to see them soaked again?"
"Oh shut it," Darnell groaned. "I even told them myself to stay the fuck inside 'nd not get sick." He was not even realising how his mind had mixed up his thoughts and actual memory.
Pico in turn began to frown himself. "I don't see the issue then."
"That's the thing, there is none."
"Nells, you're being cryptic."
"I.. guess it just feels weird to not see them this morning. I've gotten used to it."
Pico seemed to accept the answer. It was still too early for him to challenge all of Darnell's words or bully him endearingly for his crush. And it did not even need the redhead to make one of his usual snark comments to get his friend speak up again just shortly after.
"I heard some.. weird shit yesterday."
"Like what?"
"In the library, while I waited to check out my books. No clue who, but some students were shitting on CJ. Called 'em desperate and the 'campus slut'. No clue where that title came from."
There was a moment of silence in the room. Neither of them was sure what to say, how to not be disrespectful and dismissive or form strong opinions based on barely any information.
Pico tapped his nails on the mug in his hands. His mind was full of thoughts which left him staring into nothingness. He broke out of the trance shortly after and released a small tired groan before taking a long sip of his coffee. "That's.. shit."
Darnell agreed with a low hum.
"Are you gonna tell them about it?" Pico asked curiously.
Hesitantly, Darnell answered with a shrug, "I mean, should I? 'm not gonna go to their dorm 'nd say 'hey dude, what's the deal with people calling you the campus slut?' Not my style. Or, what if they're already aware of it, if I'd just bring up some shit they try livin' with for I dunno how long?"
"Ah, shit.."
The room fell silent once more, only being broken up by the small noises of Pico and Darnell eventually getting ready for either of their day’s classes. Oddly enough, Darnell's mind was not flooded with worries, or arguments going back and forth on whether he should keep his knowledge a secret to CJ.
No, his head felt almost empty. Unable to really form and hold onto any thoughts for an extended period of time. He could manage to follow his lectures throughout the day, take notes and stay on time with his schedule, be productive during his short off time. But only because these things did not require him to really think on his own. The almost mindless activities served as somewhat of a distraction.
It almost felt like some sort of amnesia to the issue. Knowing there was something, but not being able to figure out what that thing was.
Until the end of his final lecture.
Until he stopped by the other dorm.
Until he got to a particular room on the fourth floor.
Darnell stood in front of the door, hand raised in a fist and ready to knock. The sounds of laughter and bits of conversation poured through. It had become a familiar mix of noise to him from his regular visits.
All of the sounds stopped when he knocked. It took no longer than a few seconds, and the door swung open.
"Nells!" CJ greeted their friend with a wide grin.
Without a warning, Darnell was reminded of what he had 'forgotten' during the day. He could not help but look at the tall blonde, the kind face standing in front of him and wonder what they must have done to deserve such a demeaning title. Though, deserve was probably not the right word to use.
"How ye'r doing, Jay?" Darnell gave CJ a big smile in return.
"Good, good! So far, I'm still fit."
"Fit enough to work on the essays?"
CJ's grin grew slightly and they brought a hand down on Darnell's shoulder. "You're really taking this seriously, huh?" They laughed softly.
Darnell shrugged in response and took up on the nonverbal invitation inside. For now, he was here to work with CJ. Anything that would keep him from being productive would stay outside the room for the time being.
He could worry about the meaning of it all on a less rainy day.
