He can’t say all the things he wants to say. That he's sorry, that he never meant it to get this far, that not all of it was a lie — no, every single moment they have stolen together like this has been painstakingly real. It wouldn’t hurt so badly if it wasn’t.
He wants to tell him he’s sorry for falling in love with him.
But that would be just another lie, because despite all the hurt, he can’t bring himself to regret any of it.
Gravity holds, he thinks to himself as he rolls over and pulls Dabi on top of him, his legs coming up to hungrily wrap around the other man’s hips, but I never had a chance of staying in one place when it came to you.
I was always going to let myself fall.”
- Gravity’s Burn by seabhactine on AO3!
A little bit of fanart by me for an insanely good fic :)) 2 variations because I’m indecisive <3 Mayyyy redraw at some point but for now, have this! ^^
As dedicated readers of BNHA and meta for BNHA meta would know, the way characters drawn and depicted, the way certain scenes are framed, all of that is crucial to points Horikoshi makes about his characters, the plot, and the themes he wants to convey.
Something to note is expression and how people are drawn. On the subject of Hawks, we know from in-text reactions to him that he is seen as conventionally attractive, and typically has a cheeky or happy-nature in his expressions. It's alone or in tense movements that we see something else.
What we do have is faces that break the Uncanny valley, like the famous image pre-"attacking" Best Jeanist, or getting confirmation about the raid where he very much show-cased his heteromorphic side, or the frightening image of him from Jin's pov as he was shrouded in shadows and looked very much like a predator.
What's consistent in these images is 1. Hawks was in control at of himself when he makes those faces 2. They usually don't *take* away from him in terms of find him "palatable" even if he's frightening. And there's a point to this.
Hawks isn't unflappable; there are plenty of moments where he loses his facade and cool, and we can argue those faces were truer to his inner nature than the bubbly cheeky personality he puts on a lot of the time.
But facially, it's interesting that he was so solemn as a child, and when alone and comfortable with himself, he seems to be mostly blank-faced and not very expressive. Perhaps that is the "default" Keigo.
Why all of this talk of faces and how Hawks is drawn? Because with 374, something has changed, and it means something very heavy is coming up with Hawks in the future.
First off, let's read about a certain trope
If a character is deranged or has just lost it for a moment, one eye is drawn as being very different than the other. Commonly, the Mad Eye (or its iris/pupil) is much larger than the other. Can also double as an unspoken Oh, Crap! moment. For extra effect, may be paired with Twitchy Eye.
Consistently, Dabi has been shown to be drawn with this trope time and time again. It's featured in promo art, in his battles, and this example up top. Dabi is clearly mentally unstable, openly and not unlike his friend Twice. The "Mad Eye" trope is meant to be a visual indicator of mentally instability.
There's nary been a time where we've seen Hawks drawn like this. Even when he was drawn smirking before "killing" Best Jeanist, the eyes were the same.
It's interesting that his expression and eyes were relatively stable through out the process leading up to killing Bubaigawara Jin. But in the same panel where he kills him (right in the image above), half his face is obscured.
Still, there's still an element of control here. I, and many other meta writers, have written about how control is a specific element in Hawks's character. His skill is in his technique, where he lacks in pure power, his skill in using his quirk in extremely adaptable and creative ways shows that he has an intense amount of control over it. And essentially his quirk is in that - controlling feathers do the various things they're capable of (sensors, listening devices, controlling their movements, flexibility, hardness, etc).
When being in control is so crucial to Hawks's quirk functioning, and being out of control so crucial to his narrative (the frequent caged bird references), it's interesting that most of the time Keigo is control of himself, even if he isn't in control of his circumstances. It's what made the HPSC make him a spy and what makes him, in my opinion, an interesting character.
By interesting, I don't mean "good" or "bad", moral or immoral or amoral, etc. I mean interesting in that he's complex and there's still mystery to him. It's very hard to understand Hawks because Keigo's story and personality are layered and presented to us in a way that it's difficult to get a full picture.
So what do we see in this chapter?
Keigo losing control.
He's been remarkably poised this war arc. He started by immediately trying to assassinate AFO without hesitation: While he's had emotional moments, one of the most striking things is that in earlier chapters against AFO, he's been repeating something that shows where his mindset is:
This whole fight Hawks has been telling Endeavor to keep a cool head, to not be provoked, to regain control of himself. He also keeps trying to play the circumstances - delaying so heavy-hitters like Enji can get a shot in, making sure everything it together.
Something else to notice is Hawks is wounded over the left side of his wave, and there's blood drying over his eye. However, there are numerous pictures of him in this state where his eyes are open at the same time or half-closed and there's no indication that he can open more than other.
As you can see here, this is Hawks with the blood over his eye in various expressions. Even when stressed, his expression never gives us indications of the "going mad" trope as the most recent chapter does. Thus, whatever is going on cannot be explained as due to his wound - it hasn't been shown before.
Why make so much of a single panel?
Because it's important.
We have Hawks, known for being very in control of himself and who tries to be in control of situations around him, and we have heavy build up by Hawks being the one to remind Endeavor to not lose it.
And yet....
This is not like anything we've seen from him so far. The mere sight of Twice alive again, the knowledge that what he did was for naught, heck, All For One is provoking him just on that basis:
"Time to learn how it might have turned out if you hadn't made his death your top priority back then."
Hawks's extrajudicial assassination of Twice became a viral moment, and don't forget it was drawn that way in the same time Japan had started undergoing protests for police brutality in 2020 due to viral videos of local beatings going viral amongst Japanese social media and twitter. Hawks has had to face immense scrutiny and criticism over his choice to kill Twice for the past few months, and his reaction to it has been to publicly apologize that he couldn't find another way to deal with him and to privately tell Best Jeanist that he admired the person he killed and wishes to be like him.
There's been no real show of regret, no reflection. And suddenly, with the appearance of Twice once more, we see a crack in this veneer:
Hawks's first words at the sight of the man he killed is to scream that the clones have to be killed immediately. Hawks's first expression at sight of Twice is one not of collected focus, nor even his usual anger or frustration.
He's drawn as if he's fucking crazy.
Horikoshi doesn't do panels like this for nothing. The way the panel beautifully lines up with one of Dabi's back covers, and the fact it's the first time Hawks has been drawn with the "mad eyes" trope is significant. It's showing us that Hawks, for the first time that we know of, is losing control of himself. And for a character whose narrative has been about controlling what people think and know about himself (and letting others do that for him), that's elemental to breaking down all we know of him.
This panel promises to show us another side of Hawks, a side he cannot hide away, or charm and joke his way out of. Naked, raw, and with no ulterior motives to control the situation, this face promises that we might finally hear what Hawks thinks of his actions and the reaction to them.
