Where I can reblog all the stuff I like (currently mostly TF2, Dispatch, with some CoD MW and South Park sprinkled in (PHM, Iron Lung, and the Bloodymary AU have joined the chat atp too)) that has nothing to do with "Tales of Well" (my TF2 fanfic series, check it out :P) Canada. 35. She/Her. Too lazy to put up a theme.
As a 34 year old who has been on tumblr since 2009, I feel like a metaphorical old lady sitting on her porch, wistfully and happily watching kids play across the street when I see fanart for BloodyMary.
"Oh, you kids and your Markipliers and your Ryan Goslings, it does my old heart good to see the youths having fun with thematically similar crack ships. Why, back in my day there was Jack Frost and Elsa fan art as far as the eye could see. And before that, meticulously edited AMVs of different animated characters making out to Paramore. Heheh yep, the kids are alright."
Sometimes you find yourself in a biodome with a fucking wierdo and his platonic soulmate (who is a rock) and his platonic soulmate’s spouse (who is also a rock) and you just gotta accept that shit and move on.
PLS PLS PLS A HONEY MOON🙏🙏🙏 like, not specifically sex, just them after Getting married and being hypersoft ☹️☹️
The hotel suite sat high above the coastline, bathed in the soft gold of late afternoon. Beyond the open balcony doors, the ocean stretched endlessly beneath a watercolor sky, waves rolling lazily toward the shore far below. A warm breeze drifted through the room, carrying the scent of saltwater and tropical flowers from the gardens surrounding the resort.
Inside, however, neither of them paid much attention to the view for the better part of an hour.
The king-size bed looked thoroughly lived in, its champagne-colored silk sheets tangled across the mattress. Pillows had migrated in every direction, one abandoned near the foot of the bed and another half hanging onto the floor. Between them lay a glossy hotel brochure detailing honeymoon excursions, opened and almost completely ignored.
Robert was making a considerable effort to focus on it anyway.
“They have several excursion options...” he tried to say, frowning down at the colorful pages covered in photographs.
The attempt failed almost immediately.
Chad still had both hands cupping Robert’s face, completely unconcerned with schedules, planning, or logistics. He pressed another kiss to Robert’s cheek, then his jaw, then the corner of his mouth.
“...and we need to decide what we actually want to do.”
Chad kept trailing kisses along Robert’s temple, forehead, and beneath his eyes.
Robert let out a dramatic sigh, despite the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth — a smile that Chad immediately kissed.
“Are you even listening?”
“Everything.”
The answer came muffled against his skin.
Chad’s lips found the cluster of three small freckles beneath Robert’s left eye, a spot he had apparently been fascinated with for quite some time.
“Everything?” Robert echoed incredulously.
“Everything.” Chad kissed the freckles again. “We should do all of it.”
Robert laughed.
The sound filled the suite effortlessly, warm, and heartfelt.
Finally giving up on pretending to read, he snapped the brochure shut and tossed it onto the wrinkled sheets beside them.
“SDN was generous with our honeymoon leave,” he said, reaching up to wind one of Chad's thick curls around his finger, “but not that generous.”
The dark curl bounced free when he released it.
“There’s no way we’ll have enough time to do everything before we go back.”
For the first time in several minutes, Chad pulled away.
Not far enough for Robert to stop feeling his warmth. Just enough to look properly into his eyes again.
The distance couldn't have been more than a few inches, but suddenly Robert found himself staring directly into those familiar amber eyes.
The same eyes he had watched walking toward him at the altar.
The same eyes that had gone glassy with tears during the vows.
The same eyes that now held such overwhelming softness that Robert immediately suspected he might actually pass out from emotional overload.
Chad smiled.
Not one of his usual teasing grins.
Not the mischievous expression that normally came before a pick-up line.
Just something small, affectionate, and incredibly sincere.
“We’ve got way more than those three weeks, Bob Bob.”
The nickname alone nearly made Robert groan. How could something he'd heard for years somehow sound even more attractive now?
Then Chad reached up and brushed a thumb across Robert’s cheek.
"We've got our whole lives now."
The words struck Robert directly in the chest with devastating precision.
Robert stared at him for one second. Two. Three.
It felt as though his brain had completely forgotten how language worked. How was he supposed to speak again? Or even react?
Because the truth was, the wedding had been days ago.
Days.
And somehow, the reality still hadn't fully settled in.
Every morning, he woke up and remembered.
Every time Chad smiled at him, he remembered.
Every time he looked at the ring on his hand, he remembered.
Whenever someone referred to Chad as his husband, he remembered.
And every single time, it felt brand new all over again.
The butterflies in his stomach hadn't gone away. If anything, they'd gotten worse.
His chest tightened with that ridiculous, overwhelming warmth that had been ambushing him since the ceremony. His eyes stung.
“Oh, come on baby,” Chad murmured weakly, his smile widening.
Robert could feel himself losing the battle. Again.
The heat that rushed into his face was immediate and impossible to hide.
“No.” Chad's grin widened into a soft laugh. “Don’t cry.”
Apparently, that was enough to break whatever spell had left Robert frozen.
“Shut up.”
Despite the tears gathering in his eyes, Robert pressed his palm against Chad’s forehead and pushed him back a few inches.
“I won’t. I've cried enough since the wedding. Just... don’t make me even more emotional...”
Chad laughed harder, his chest shaking warmly against Robert’s.
Robert immediately ruined the effect of the shove by grabbing Chad’s shoulders, pulling him right back into his space, and wrapping him in an embrace.
Chad settled against his husband's chest, still wearing that dreamy smile that hadn't left his face since hearing Robert say, "I do."
Robert covered his face with one hand, but he couldn't stop smiling anyway.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
They simply lay there together, tangled up in each other, listening to the waves crashing beyond the balcony.
The curtains swayed in the breeze. Wind whistled through the open doors, making the wooden frames rattle softly.
Somewhere far below, distant music drifted up from the beach.
Chad reached over and gently took Robert’s left hand.
The wedding band caught the orange glow of the setting sun.
Both of them looked at it automatically.
Robert felt Chad’s thumb brush over the ring. In return, he planted a kiss to the top of his husband's head.
From the outside, it might have seemed simple. Ordinary.
But for them, that small gesture somehow carried the weight of everything that had happened, and everything still to come.
The years before.
The wedding.
The future.
All of it.
Everything known, and everything waiting to be discovered.
When Chad looked up again, Robert was already watching him.
They kept looking at each other as though the other had become the most important thing in the world.
And, to Robert’s embarrassment, that almost made him cry again.
“So that's a yes?” Chad asked softly, pressing a kiss against Robert’s knuckle, right over the wedding band.
“A yes to what?” Robert asked, smiling back at the perfect sight before him.
“Doing everything.”
Robert rolled his eyes, laughing now. “You’re impossible.”
“So that's a yes.”
Robert glanced toward the abandoned brochure.
Toward the endless list of excursions.
Boat tours. Island hikes. Scuba lessons. Sunset cruises. Rock climbing. Museum visits. Cooking classes. Dance classes.
Dozens of experiences waiting for them beyond the hotel walls.
Robert considered it.
Then he looked back at Chad.
At the curls sticking out in every direction.
At the bright smile.
At the hand still holding his.
At his husband.
The word still felt unreal. Wonderful. But unreal.
Robert sighed dramatically. “Fine.”
Chad’s face lit up instantly. “Awesome. We can try.”
“Try?” Robert frowned.
“Yeah. We definitely aren't making it very far down that list.”
“Why not?”
Chad gestured vaguely at the bed.
At themselves.
At the fact that they'd barely managed to leave the room all day.
Robert followed the gesture.
Then looked back at Chad.
A slow smile spread across his face.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Chad grinned mischievously.
“Fair point.”
Robert lifted a hand and gently stroked the back of Chad’s neck.
For several seconds, they simply stared at each other.
Then both of them started laughing.
And somewhere beneath that lovely sound, beneath the teasing and warmth and the ridiculous butterflies still fluttering through Robert’s chest, there was the quiet certainty that Chad was right.
i had this post about how robert got nightmares of herm dying/betraying him before they even started dating but like. imagine that just for one night, his brain decides to torture him in another way. by giving him a very wet dream with herm. (every dream with herm is technically wet but... you get it)
he wouldn't be able to even look herm in the eyes after this while herm thinks he did something to upset him.
I think it could possibly happens even before Robert REALIZES he likes Herm. Like actually realizes. He thinks he’s just incredibly fond and yeah Herm is a pretty guy but..surely….
And then the dream happens. He rarely gets wet dreams. And usually his wet dreams are with faceless people. He hasn’t had a wet dream in a VERY long time.
Robert has a dream where he’s in the janitors closet. And he knows someone is sucking him off. In the dream it feels good and he’s praising this mystery person. And when Robert looks down, he sees ginger hair and wet, silver eyes. It’s Herm. And Herm is looking up at him like Robert gave him the moon and stars.
And the dream shifts, Herm on his back and Robert railing him. Robert’s never seen Herm named before or heck even his bare torso, so his mind is having Herm be in the wetsuit. And Herm is letting out these quiet gasps and soft moans as Robert thrusts. And Herm moans out Robert’s name and says “I-It feels s-s-so good sir!”
And then Robert wakes up. And he’s flushed, he’s hard, he’s hot, and he feels SICK. Herm is a dear friend of his. A VERY dear friend of his. The guy looks up to him and even told Robert he was the “bestest friend” he’s ever had.
Herm is so kind and caring. He brings Robert snacks and “leftover” meals that sets Robert up for a few days. He listens when Robert is having a hard time, and Robert listens right back. And Herm is very good at taking direction and paying attention when it’s down to business. So Robert feels disgusted at himself to debase and debauch a good, caring friend like Herm. Herm TRUSTS him.
So Robert doesn’t interact with Herm or look him in the eyes for a bit. The guilt is eating him alive. Herm wonders what he did wrong or why Robert isn’t wanting to talk, smile, hang out or even LOOK at him. It breaks his heart. So eventually after a week of just…NOTHING from Robert, Herm confronts him. He may do it physically, or he may do it through text.
Either way, Herm asks why Robert won’t look at him, or talk to him unless it’s dispatching. He..wants to know what he did wrong so he can fix it. If he made Robert upset, he can fix it! And Robert feels even worse cause he made Herm think he didn’t like him anymore or he did something wrong. Robert says it wasn’t anything Herm did. He just had a dream about Herm and he..did something to Herm that was wrong.
And Herm asks what, but Robert says he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing. But it’s been making him ashamed to even look at Herm. And Herm respects that and he feels bad for Robert. He thinks that dream must be really scary or sad, so he tries to lighten the mood.
He tells Robert dreams are..just dreams. They’re just a mishmash of stimuli, be it places, people, things or concepts. But they..usually don’t mean anything. Even the scary ones. Or at the very least they aren’t real, so he shouldn’t feel guilty. Heck he’s had a dream where everyone in the world except Beef were flamingos and he woke up confused.
And these words will finally make Robert feel somewhat comfortable with looking at Herm again. Robert doesn’t know Herm is having his own struggle.
Herm has had the occasional Mecha Man Blue wet dream. Mecha man sucking him off, touching him, rubbing up against him, the lot. He’s even dreamt of making out with him. But ever since he met Robert and got to befriend him, the dreams are more frequent and common. And this time they involve Robert himself. Not mecha man, Robert.
And Robert is doing all these things to him, or Herm is in Robert’s lap as said man sucks and teases his chest as Herm bounces. Heck he’s had dreams of humping Robert’s leg while Robert praised him.
And every time he wakes up he feels absolutely sick inside. And guilty. But he knows if he AVOIDS Robert, he’ll notice something is off cause Robert is VERY perceptive. So he acts as NORMAL as he can, cause otherwise it’s all over for him. And he shoves that guilt deeeeep down to unpack later.
"I'm gonna fucking blow, Ali.... I swear to shit if he doesn't fucking stop I'm gonna fucking drag him off and either punch him or fuck" Flambae mumbles, more like grinds through his teeth. Prism,.who was just trying to eat, and enjoy her lunch, looks up. Flambae is glaring daggers at the break room wall.
She rolls her eyes, "Who, Bae? Who are you gonna drag away to have your way with?"
He slams his hand down and the table, "Fucking Robert!!"
"Why?"
Flambae grinds his teeth but his cheeks are red. His ears are turning to. "Because!!! He's-- He's being a fucking asshole!!"
Prism raises a brow. She knows where this is going. "How so?"
"Playing with his fat fuck of a dog, making that stupid furry potato dance and raise his little paws and fucking smiling like a fucking perfect little angel and his stupid annoying ass laugh--" Flambae buries his face in his hands and screams.
"So he's an asshole for minding his business and making Beef do goofy ass dances?? And your sitting here having a crisis about that?" Prism comments as she starts to scroll her phone. A fist slams on the table
"FUCKING YES!!"
"Right right ... how is this a problem?"
Flambae makes a motion like he wanted to strangle the woman.
"You. Fucking. KNOW. Why, Alice" he growls out. He was starting to smoke up now.
"Cuz you a punk ass who can't even ask Robert out properly? Cuz you can't handle him having some quality time with his dog?" Prism teases as she turns her phone and shows her insta and in the background, Robert was pictured with Beef, picking the ham from.his sandwich and handing it to Beef with a grin. Flambae becomes very aware of his teeth and how much he wants to bite Robert's cheek in the picture. He turns fully red and slams his head to the table and pounds his fist to the surface.
"HMMMMNNNN!!!!!! FUCKING STOP!!!!!"
Prism watches her friend lose his whole shit begore she comments.
"Boy, just fucking ask him to dinner already, this shit is getting ridiculous. " she says it with a sigh. And it really has. The constant flirting, watching Flambae hover around Robert's desk and throw passive aggressive insults as flirting. 'It's banter!! Robert gives as good as he gets!' Yea, maybe take that as a sign you dumb gay bitch!!! "Man's has already said if YOUUUUUUU wanted to go to dinner, YOOOOOUUUUU just have to ask!!" Prism reminds him, "Zaza, you REALLY have to make a move, a real move not your ring around the Rosie bullshit!!" She says, slamming her own hand to the table. Flambae lifts his head enough to stare up at the other. "But Alice--"
"NO!! You have to make a move because I swear to God if I have to hear about how you have a boner that's ready to bust through the ceiling because you can't handle when the man smiles at you or his dog or some stupid thing on his phone that also makes you jealous because it wasnt you that made him smile about it, I will fucking slam your ass through the nearest wall!!" Prism yells, glaring at Flambae. Never did Alice think she'd feel like she was back in high school telling her best friend to just fucking. Do it!!
" .... ok but if he says no?"
"FUCKING---!!!!" Flambae is seen being chased around the SDN building screaming for his life while Prism is coming after him with a butter knife from the break room.
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