We Fall

Things we lost to the flames, Things we'll never see again All that we've amassed Sits before us, shattered into ash {August Visne | Closed | Affiliated with AR}

[welcome2pokemart-deactivated201]

familiar face

@toxashes

{ ♔ }—

     Matt was about three long seconds away from smashing his head into the counter and ending it right here, right now.

     This was so boring. He’d been stuck here, in this blue market hell, for nearly the whole day. And hadn’t seen a soul. He was supposed to be part time. There were so many things he could be doing that wasn’t this; taking care of his Pokemon, smoking, watching a movie, smoking, relaxing, or relaxing and smoking. Maybe he’d even smoke. The only plus side was that he had Lily with him, who was currently curled up under a box somewhere.

     Really, he’d like to be able to say that he’d quit if he really didn’t like it, but he didn’t mind it that much. Plus he needed something to pay the bills, and breeding alone just wasn’t quite enough. It was fun sometimes, meeting trainers (and also free advertisement). However, slow days where the weather was nice, his mind was preoccupied, and the cheery music kept droning in the background were always the worst.

     Glancing down at his watch, he was just about to go reorganize the shelves for the 3rd time in the past hour when the door bell rang. Looking up, he opened his mouth to do this usual spiel, but found himself staring for a bit longer than necessary. His brows furrowed slightly. This guy… looked familiar. Maybe just a regular customer.

          “Hey, welcome to PokeMart. Anything I can help you with?” he tried to convince himself that he did his best enthusiastic voice, but really it just kind of sounded… less apathetic than usual. Tinged with a tasteful amount of ‘save me from this never-ending hell’.

[toxashes-blog]

Typically, it was only Curium that ventured into town when they needed to stock up on supplies again, which was something that happened rather frequently. August was by no means a good cook, and more often than not, the food he managed to craft was somehow completely inedible, even for the massive feline. Who was, in general, brave enough to give ever awkward creation a taste test before deciding it was better off in the trash.

Today wasn’t much different, only that August was accompanying Curium to the local Pokemart in order to pick out something the Luxray could, in fact, eat. He had tried to whip up something nice for Luxray to eat, but had managed to almost destroy the kitchen in the process. Leaving it almost completely useless, and resulting in a very hungry lion. Thankfully, Curium was a forgiving creature. Either that, or he had little desire to hear his master go on and on about the failed meal more than he already had. 

Slowly padding alongside of his trainer, Curium weaved his way through the city, and towards the Pokemart. He knew the area better than August, who wasn’t always able to make the short trip with his Pokemon. And to be frank, with all of the apologizes that were still spewing from his master’s mouth, a part of the Luxray had hoped he stayed behind. That, and August loved to spoil him, meaning this little shopping trip was going to become expensive rather quickly. 

Curium shoved open the heavy door with his nose, thankful that the chiming of the bell upon it managed to cut August off, as he slipped inside, his master behind him. August’s attention shifting from the poor Luxray, who was thankful he wouldn’t have to hear the same speech for the thousandth time that day, to the man behind the counter when he spoke. It wasn’t strange for someone to stare at him and Curium longer than what would have been considered normal. Given Curium’s coloration, and the countless things the lion often did, such as carrying his owner’s bags, August dismissed it rather easily. 

He repressed a laugh at the lackluster tone that had addressed him, and offered the other man a light smile. “Would you be able to recommend any brands of Pokemon food? I am afraid we ran out, and he is a picky eater.” At the comment, Curium only flicked his tail gently. He was hardly the picky one here.    

[toxashes-blog]

HC + mentality

Send me  “HC”  + a word and I’llwrite a headcanon about it.

Oh gosh, this is going to be intense. 

August very clearly has a form of Antisoical Personality Disorder (which displayed itself in him first as a child when he abused, tortured, and killed Pokemon that were weaker than himself, and was, thus, never able to keep one), among other traits, such as his ability/willingness to lie, and manipulate others. Thus, August’s way of thinking is dysfunctional. How he perceives situations may not be the way in which others would process them. This makes his morals highly questionable, and his ability to process things emotionally is poor at best. But while his emotional processing ability is lacking, he is extremely intelligent. He is capable of understanding complex information, and has amazing problem solving skills.

August is able to form attachments to people, while his past relationships have all been short term, as he is prone to lashing out in a violent manner (with few, or no trigger involved). He has formed a close emotional, and deep attachment to Curium, and Martha. But issues come in when he tries to care for those he loves, as his actions can sometimes be harmful to them. He has attacked Curium on a number of different occasions, scaring him, and badly injuring him during one of his outbursts. He’s come to vaguely understand that this causes Curium pain, and that it’s not something he wishes to do, thus the incidents have gone down with time, but he’s still very much prone to them with them commonly happening when he is just getting to know someone deeply, as rules must be established with him, or he won’t understand that hurting someone is “wrong”.

He’s very childish, at least emotionally. For example, he loves like a child, completely, and openly. He’s a very affectionate person when he becomes attached, and he tries to show his feelings to others. This results in him coming off as clingy, and needy, though he will always try to his best to please the other person. In this manner, he experiences emotions very purely, and very intensely, like a child.

August has no concept of right and wrong. Lying, and hurting others means little to him, and his ability to sympathize with those he doesn’t know is limited (but he is dangerously sympathetic with those he loves to the point where he would do anything, and anything has no limits when it comes to him. As he’s done before, he would kill someone if he felt it would make the person he loves happy. He would even go as far as to kill them if they were suffering in his opinion, as death has always been something that represents release, and freedom). 

His way of thinking can be extremely complex, and difficult to understand. Much of what he understands is built upon what he has personally experienced throughout his life, and he uses this as a foundation to build his opinions. While this isn’t really abnormal, because he views situations, and processes them differently from most, his understanding of something might vary quite a bit from the majority.

August also holds a deep hatred for himself. He is obsessed with the idea of his own death, and willingly chose to make himself suffer. This is because he has been told by so many people that he’s terrible. August is the type of person who absorbs what other people say, and because his foundation is built upon interacts to build understanding, this also plays a role in how he understands himself, and he understands himself as something awful as a result of the people in his life. Thus, he views himself in this manner.

Though August’s more violent actions have since calmed (which isn’t uncommon), as now he is weaker and older, and Curium is typically able to stop him if something comes up (as August cannot overpower him anymore). He still has an extremely difficult time forming deep attachments to people, and Pokemon (though it’s not impossible for him). What is right and wrong with each person he meets has to be established by the other person, or he simply won’t understand, though, assuming he is of sound mind (and is not lashing out), he will listen.

And I’m going to stop now because I can go on, and on, and make this more in depth as far as research is concerned, and whatnot, but it’s almost midnight, and I’m getting kicked out of the living room soon, and I also don’t know how much sense this makes. xD

[toxashes-blog]

for the FC meme, how about Izumo Kusanagi? <3 (aka my second bae- *shot*)

Send me a faceclaim and I’ll give you the first ideas for an OC that comes to mind.

Doing all of this as Pokemon OCs since this is a Pokemon group!

Saul Lloyd | Waiter

Saul’s past is a mystery. He shares as little information as he can about it, and about himself. He seems to have simply just appeared one day, and that was it. Thus, his frequent costumers enjoy making up rumors about his life, and taking guesses at their favorite waiter, who is typically willing to humor them for a good laugh or two at the absurd things they come up with.

Truth be told, his history is a dark one, and he’s done many things he regrets. Thus, he took on a new name, and lives his life as a completely different person, one who enjoys putting smiles on a stranger’s face, and poking fun at random things with seemingly no care in the world. To someone who doesn’t know him well, he would appear naive, and thoughtless, as if he has never faced a single hardship in his life.

But once you dig a little deeper, Saul’s experience shines through, and it’s clear he’s a wise person who has once suffered greatly. It helps that he tends to spew random advice about life whenever it’s needed. He’s very willing to help others, but doesn’t expect anything in return.

He’s a calm, and collected person who doesn’t let his emotions drive him. He always thinks before he acts, and never takes even a single second of life for granted. He’s also fairly kind, though he enjoys a good joke or two.

Despite being a waiter, he can’t cook, and isn’t allowed in the kitchen, as the cooks fear he might try to make something (for the last time he did, they were sick for a week straight).

Saul is a caring person who looks out for others, and is always extremely aware of what’s going on in the world. Though he’ll always give off a mysterious vibe due to his unwillingness to share his past, as well as the fact that he will lie about it in order to get people’s attention off of him.

[toxashes-blog]

saito hajime (hakuouki) for the fc thing XD

Send me a faceclaim and I’ll give you the first ideas for an OC that comes to mind.

Doing all of this as Pokemon OCs since this is a Pokemon group!

Ayumu Yukimura | Rogue

Ayumu grew up in  the Orre region, with nine little brothers, and sisters. Whom he was forced to raise after their parents passed away in an accident when he was young. While he worked hard, he could never bring in enough money to feed all of his siblings, and eventually joined Cipher in hopes he would be able to take better care of them. He stole Pokemon, and helped close off their hearts to hum beings, even using them attack innocent trainers in order to repeat the same process over, and over again.

He had a falling out with the second oldest child, who disliked that he worked for Cipher. Their argument divided the household, and made life uncomfortable for himself, and his family. He considered leaving Cipher, but also didn’t want his siblings to suffer as a result due to the fact that Cipher made it possible for them to live decent lives.

When he failed to leave Cipher, the second oldest siblings deemed him unfit to be caring for the younger ones, and managed to snag a decent job. All but his youngest sibling (who was five at the time) agreed to live with his sibling. He by no means blames her for making them hate him.

With only his youngest siblings to worry about, he continued working under Cipher until it eventually fell. Leaving them without money, and a place to live. Not wanting to subject his little brother to a life of hardship, he hunted down his sister, and left the brother that had stayed with him in her care, claiming he would return one day. He never did. The guilt over his actions had consumed him, and he decided he was unfit to ever see them again.

He spent a few years homeless in Orre until he eventually decided he wanted to leave his old life behind, and moved to Agron.

[toxashes-blog]

HC + Family

Send me  “HC”  + a word and I’llwrite a headcanon about it.

Family means very little to August. His birth parents left for him dead, he murdered the man who adopted him, and the woman who raised him refuses to ever see him again. As a whole, it’s not really a concept he understands, and dismisses it often, as he finds little value in the idea. He’s very much used to being on his own, and, while George and Martha loved him, has always been independent. He has some vague understanding of what family is, but his sense of it is a bit convoluted. His opinion worsens when “family” is brought up as something one can only have through blood relations with other people.

Overall, he dislikes the idea of a “family” and won’t use the word. Even when addressing Curium, who is likely the closest thing to a family he has. As August’s way of thinking is complex, and he understands things in a different manner than most, it’s a bit difficult to describe how he feels about family, and still have make sense outside of his own mind.

[toxashes-blog]

FC Idea: Beatrice from Umineko No Naku Koro ni c:

Abigail Rose | Marchioness 

The daughter of a wealthy family, life has always been easy for her, and she’s always gotten everything she’s ever wanted. She’s daddy’s little girl, and that also means she has access to his credit card whenever she wants, as well. This made life for her boring, as well as making her a selfish person.

  She values beauty, and dislikes anything that doesn’t meet her standards, regardless of what it is. She always been a “pretty face”. She’s very used to people reacting to her based on her looks alone, and doesn’t mind using them for her own gain.

She picked up battling in secret, as her father views her as a perfect angel who can do no wrong. She was thrilled by the hobby, and picked it up, going out every night while hiding her identity from those who might reveal her little love for battling to her parents.

She’s very strict, and harsh with her Pokemon. She’s cruel when she battles, and won’t stop until she’s completely crushed, and humiliated her opponents. She’s been known to whip her Pokemon when they fail, or even when they aren’t working hard enough for her. As a result of this, her bond with her Pokemon if built upon fear, making them just as willing as she is to go a bit too far in order to please her. 

She’s had many suitors in her life, but not one of the has met her expectations, and she sends them packing (by completely crushing them, and making sure they’ll never return, of course).

She’s clever, and knows exactly how to get her way. Despite how helpless her parents will claim she is, she is intelligent, and is full capable of taking care of herself. This makes her independent, and thoughtful. She knows when she’s faced with something she can’t beat, and will use this knowledge to her advantage.  

[toxashes-blog]

HC + Letters

Send me  “HC”  + a word and I’llwrite a headcanon about it.

August used to write letters to Martha after he moved away. She, obviously, never wrote back. She likely never even opened them. Eventually she moved out of the cafe, and his letters were returned to him since she had the building torn down. But he never really expected her to write him back in the first place. He understood that she was never going to speak to him again, and that she also never wanted to see him again. He’s not hurt, or upset by the fact that she never responded (he never cared one way or the other when it came to the letters).

He doesn’t have anyone to write to anymore, or he likely would. He’s an affectionate person, and would write friends letters if they let them, but he doesn’t know too many people, and he’s not really on friendly terms with anyone other than Curium (and Curium puts up with enough without having to try to read letters from his master). He also tends to be long-winded. He can talk/write about nothing simple because that’s just how he is. So, his letters tend to be on the longer side, as well.

So, he doesn’t really write them anymore, but would, and did for a few years.

[toxashes-blog]

hc + health

Send me  “HC”  + a word and I’llwrite a headcanon about it.

August is, needless to say, in terrible health. He’s never been a particularly healthy person. He was born premature, and had several issues as a result. He was always ill as a child, and doesn’t take care of himself (never has), as he has little concern for his own life. And because he doesn’t care, he’s never gotten better, and never will. While his current problem is entirely self-inflicted, he suffered from being sick near constantly as a child.

To be honest, he’s grown very used to his poor health, and he typically doesn’t bat an eye on pain, or other such things anymore. He’s never cursed his existence, or his parents for his body being the way it is. He’s never truly minded it. I can’t say he enjoys it, but he’s content with where he is now, as far as his awful health is concerned. It was choice, after all, and he doesn’t regret it. Knowing that he’ll die soon gives him peace of mind, and has helped to calm him down a bit. He emotionally, and mentally can’t separate right from wrong, and he’s done terrible things in the past, and while he still couldn’t tell that they were wrong (or why), he takes pleasure in his own death approaching, as it makes him feel as if he’s making something up to all of the people who he has loved that have left him.

And, like I said, he doesn’t take care of himself. He’s at the point where he’s just skin and bone (you would be able to see his spine, and rib cage if you looked at him without a shirt on). He goes without eating often simply because it gets in the way of him doing other things. Curium has to remind him to eat. Thankfully, August is a clean freak, so at least he’s good about showering, and cleaning his house (with somehow remains spotless despite both his sickness, and Curium’s habit of hunting. Really, you ever need your house cleaned, call him, he’ll make it spotless). 

August’s own lack of respect for his health, though, comes from a few different forms of reasoning. The first being the fact that he hates himself, and cares little for what happens to him. The second being that he’s always been sick, so it’s not unusual to him. The third being that his weak body was a heavy strain on the man and woman who raised him, thus he learned how to hide it well, as well as how to manage everything on his own.

[toxashes-blog]

(Best of luck at the convention! i'm certain you'll do great!)

{Ahhh I just saw this now, thank you so much!}

Send me a faceclaim and I'll give you the first ideas for an OC that comes to mind.

[director-scarlet]

Send me  “HC”  + a word and I’ll write a headcanon about it.

[toxashes-blog]

{Hey! I don’t think I’ll be on much this week (but I’ll still try to get to replies when I can), so I apologize in advance! I also won’t be on this weekend at all (I don’t have wifi at my booth). I’m going to a convention this weekend, and I’ll be selling in their Artist Alley. I don’t feel, right now, that I have nearly as many items done as I had wanted to (I’m super under prepared, as this is the biggest convention I’ve done, and I have no clue how much stuff I need), but I’m also very fast when it comes to sewing, so I know that if I sit myself down, and work, I can really add to my stock.  But, I also have carpal tunnel, so I  know by doing this (rip my wrists) the odds of me being able to do much on here are slim. So, I’m going to bury myself in fabric, and baby talk my machine so we can both get through this. xD I love all of you, and I hope you have a fantastic time! I deeply apologize to those who have threads with me for the likely delay with them! Thank you so much for reading!}

[toxashes-blog]

❧

❧ - neck kiss

Humming softly, he leaned forward, extending his arms above the other man’s shoulders. Flexing his fingers while gazing at the backs of his hands. “Hmmm, you should try to get some rest. You always seem terribly stressed.”

Drawing his arms back in to wrap them around Draze’s chest, he leaned over the back of the couch where the other trainer was seated. Needing to stand on his toes just to manage that. Holding him place for a brief moment, as he leaned his head against the other’’s. Fingers ghosting upwards until they reached Draze’s shoulders. Pressing them gingerly against his shirt in an attempt to soothe him.

Shifting so his face was beside the other man’s, he spoke quietly, as to not disturb him too much. “Is there someway that I may help you? You never seem to sleep.” Slowly kneading his fingers into the other man’s shoulders, as he spoke, and humming a mild tune against the Elite’s ear.

Standing on his toes, he lowered his head. Lips pressing weakly against the other man’s neck, as he whispered against his skin, “It is all right to show weakness from time to time, but is not weakness that drives the need for aid. I hope one day you will be able to sleep peacefully.”

[rp-memes-cafe]

Send a url with a symbol and my muse must kiss them on that spot!

♥ - cheek ❥ - nose ❤ - lips ❣ - forehead ❦ - hand ❧ - neck ♡ - back ۵ - shoulder ღ - top of head

[leftyoubruisedandruined]

[seiyato-deactivated20160526]

A certain sadness washed over Ailis’ face once the street lamps came on, making it harder to see the stars up in the sky. She could still see them, but the light did ruin the effect that previously was there with just the darkness and the light of the stars and moon. For a quick moment, she looked out towards the sea, but turned her head back to look at the man when it seemed like she couldn’t spot what she had hoped for.

“I don’t mind at all,” she answered him. “You’re welcome to join me if you wish, I wouldn’t mind some company.” Ailis looked at the Luxray with him, smiling at the thought of how it looked more like a guard dog. The golden pokémon almost reminded her of Kuro, who for once hadn’t come with her since she left without even letting him know. Hopefully the Zoroark wouldn’t think something bad had happened to her by the time she got back.

“But would your friend there be comfortable with you joining a complete stranger for a walk?” she asked, chuckling slightly as she tilted her head towards the Luxray. “It seems to be very protective of you. Not that it’s a bad thing, of course; it means they care about you very much after all.”

[toxashes-blog]

“Thank you.” The thought of having human company for once was a delightful one given that August spent most of his days holed up in his home due to both his health, and Curium’s over-protective nature. Most days, he lacked the energy to argue with the over-sized feline, as well as to actually leave. So, having a conversation with someone who wasn’t a grumpy lion sounded like a lovely turn of events to the man.

A light laugh tickled his lips at her words, and he reached down to ruffle the lion’s mane. So used to his master’s ways, Curium didn’t so much as flinch, or remove his gaze from the stranger. And he likely wouldn’t, assuming August didn’t just jump him, but given that his legs worked about as often as the rest of his body, well, that wasn’t going to happen. 

“I think there are very few things in this world he is comfortable with,” He joked. “But he will be fine. He is strict, and a bit of grump, though.” He poked the Luxray’s chin, but got no response from the Pokemon. By now, he knew when August was serious about something, and when he wasn’t. And right now, he was merely tormenting the poor creature. 

“Please forgive him, he means no harm.” He leaned back in the wheelchair. “We have been together for many years, and I seem to have a habit of getting myself into trouble.” He smiled lightly, and that remark did, in fact, earn a snort of agreement from the Luxray. There was a reason he had gotten to be this way, after all. 

[draconianroyalty-blog]

Draze didn’t often ride boats. He didn’t really have a need to; why sail across the ocean when you could just fly over it? Unfortunately, none of his Pokemon that could fly were in a state to do so, after a rather grueling training session the had went through.

So here he was, meandering to the boat that would lead him to Asta, and back to the League once more. He was starting to regret coming to Esha just for training, but he preferred the more natural view here then in the more barren Asta.

Pearl, his Dragonair, was wrapped around him, like how she nearly always was when she was outside of her Pokeball. The serpentine dragon was silent, having also done some training, and like her trainer, was feeling the fatigue.

A hand slipped over the sapphire scales and gently rubbed her head, which was met with a gentle nuzzle. Draze smiled, before stepping on board, ready to head back to his home after a long day.

Though, he left something slip in between his legs. Glancing down, his eyes caught sight of a large Luxray, a golden one instead of the usual blue coloring. Looking back up, amber eyes saw his trainer, apologizing.

“Don’t sweat it. It’s fine. That’s a mighty nice Luxray you got there. Not everyday you see a Shiny.”

[toxashes-blog]

Curium wiggled his way back until his hips bumped into August’s wheelchair in order to avoid bashing into the stranger all over again. The area rather tight for the massive Pokemon, and being hitched to your master so he could get around didn’t make matters easier for either one of them when it came to traveling. Purring out another quiet apology to the stranger for getting tangled up with him in the first place, and desperate to keep it from happening again, for he didn’t wish to make things more difficult for his master than they already where.

August reached his hands out to slide them along the feline’s back, attempting to reassure him everything was fine, before turning his attention back to the other man. This little adventure was turning out to be rather stressful for poor Curium, who was both protective and constantly worried about every little thing that happened to his master.

“Thank you.” He offered the man a warm smile, as he sat back up, pulling his hands away from the Pokemon. “It seems this vacation is turning a bit stressful for him, though,” He sighed. The lion was quick to turn back around in order to protest, but he didn’t have it in him to argue with his trainer.

“And thank you for forgiving us. It is terribly crowded here right now.” He looked down at Curium’s tense muscles. The lion’s body rigid, and fur on end, as he watched people pass by. To him, everyone was a threat, and while he was typically calm, a recent incident with another trainer had left him on edge, and willing to tense at anything, including eyeing the man he had run into. He didn’t growl, but he also didn’t look friendly either. 

“Curium, darling, it is all right,” August reassured him. His ears going flat at the words. His trainer had a habit of picking up on everything. “I am sorry. Something happened recently, and he is still troubled by it. He is just a bit tense now, he does not mean to cause you harm.” Truth be told it had been an accident, but August’s body was so frail that a simple run in with a Pokemon whose trainer had lost control over it was enough to do quite a bit of damage.