I’m Fine @toxic-narcisist - Tumblr Blog

110 days

Becky asked me if me and Michael have had sex yet, and my response was:

"The only thing I wanted to be penetrated with is a knife"

Apparently that was a 'extremely concerning answer considering my history' because Mr. Kent over heard it and made me have a very long talk with the guidance counselor

chronic-pessimist-0402

It hits me then.

I haven't ever known what I wanted out of life. Until now.

I sort of want to be dead.

"You look a little bit like you want to kill yourself"

It's funny because it's true

toxic-narcisist

Love love love love love

#tori spring #solitaire #solitaire alice oseman #tori solitaire #tori spring roleplay #solitaire roleplay

Hide under the vale of mystery

I stood on the bridge for a long while. The water was shallow beneath me if I jumped I likely wouldn’t survive. The temptation pulled me to the edge and with my whole body learning to jump. I remembered that boy inside sick needed me he needed a friend something j had failed at too many times. I owed it to him. If I jumped then who would help him and my boy he would be broken. I couldn’t hurt them like that. The water though flowing inviting one jump head first and light out. All over. But what would happen to them I wouldn’t be there to help them. Then again maybe that would be better. Save them from my screw up’s.

#original story #painhub #aled last #victoria spring #tori spring

Tori was sort of always the same. But Frances changed at home Frances was cool and quirky while at school she was plain and quiet. Tori was always a wildly tortured soul somewhat unaware of it herself yet somehow always apathetic. She felt minimally and suffered silently. She was and is a strong individual.

#suffer in silence #radio silence #victoria spring #solitaire #alice oseman #relatable #original story

That’s when I remember that I’m not good enough. I never was. I never will be.

“You hate yourself, I hate myself. Common interests. We should get together.”

#solitaire

sometimes love stories are'nt happily ever after and for people like me they don't exist. for people like me there is no such think as love. No butterflies, no first date's, no i love you's and no romance. there is no such thing as soumate's. books ae never real. in books teenagers go to parties every frdiday night and have sex in the back of a car. In moovies and books teenagers are always busy they are always out. in real life they wake up late and watch tv util dark they eat ocasionally and then watch things again until late. in the early morning they wrestle with the stress of life until they fall asleep only to wake up a few hours later to go to school. Stories like these tell young girls that love romance and sex come to everyone. All girls are equal and every girl is lovable. Stories change, people change but in those stories they are sad but have friends or at loveless but have siblings.

#original story

I’m not some wildly tortured soul im just a girl. A girl who survives one minute at a time living only though books and movies. Living through the fictional character. Some who I relate to others who I don’t but no character has ever realated to my life perfectly no character has ever understood who I am or what I’ve experienced. I think that no character has ever hated themselves in just the sma way I do or that no character has ever been where I am.

#original poem #painhub

It’s hits me then

I haven’t ever know what I wanted out of life

Until now

I sort of want to be dead.

My feet drift absently closer to the edge.

I think about Michael Holden mainly how he’s secretly angry all the time.

#alice oseman #solitaire #real shit #relatable

Why does it hurt????

Why does it happen?

#friend loss #heartbreak #painhub

Oh gosh I put so much pressure on you I should not exaggerate if that even is what I’m doing.