Lunar Ideas

|You were the Darkness that consumed my Colorful soul|

[my-dailydreams]

[toxicrose39]

Screaming and kicking like a three-year-old throwing a tantrum for not getting the candy they want. On the outside, you see an emotionless being

On the inside, it feels like all the emotions are slowly being drained

The cracks are showing, but only to you

Everything's overwhelming and the feeling of nothingness seems all too familiar

[toxicrose39]

A lot of growth has happened, but why can't I be strong enough to be alone? Why is there a need for love? Where did this ideation come from, and how do I get rid of it?

[toxicrose39]

Let me learn how to keep my mouth shut and my emotions to myself

[cassandracalin]

Hot girl summer

[toxicrose39]

I don't think it's wrong for me to want you to myself. To be able to get a version of you that no one else does. I want to feel special in ways that are private to us, and honestly, I feel like that isn't the case. Nothing I can say or write will make me feel better. There's no amount of overthinking that will make me feel better about any of it. I just need a break to think about what is good for me.

[toxicrose39]

I’ve spent enough of my time wanting things to work out

Hoping that you’d understand how much it all meant to me

Truthfully I don’t know if it’ll ever be enough

Not because of my shortcomings but because it doesn’t fit the image we have in our head

And if that’s the case then why settle for something you know isn’t right enough for you

Why continue to play the game I’m destined to lose all because it makes you feel like a winner

[toxicrose39]

Why is my mood dependent on the value of others

[toxicrose39]

Foolish of me to think I was anything worth the time and energy spent

[toxicrose39]

Of course she logs on whenever the depression hits deep enough for no one to listen to

[notdelusionalatall-deactivated2]

[daily-spooky]

[daily-spooky]

[ashtonsunshine]

Why's he like this 😭 x

[cemeteryxghoul]

whatever (it's eating away at my soul)

[toxicrose39]

Loss for words, but not really

I am at a loss for words. I don't know how to put the pieces back together, and maybe it's not something I can figure out. I can't control or rush someone else decisions, only mine. I can only control myself and my actions, yet I know that self-sabotage is what helps me break through. I want to fix myself for me and not for you because I don't feel like you deserve me anymore. You never really did, yet I chose to stay because of what you gave me when I needed it most, and maybe that's the problem. Making you fit into my world, know you never would because I couldn't give up the feeling of love. Now everything is broken, and I am bending myself backward just to make sure it all comes back together, knowing I have no control over whether it can. That's why I want to love myself in the ways I look for in others; I want to be my own saving grace. I don't want to rely on others to bring me the peace I deserve.

[toxicrose39]

What is the point of screaming when no one hears you drowning

Why grow from the bad things if they just keep coming back

What's the point of fixing your feelings when others don't care

How do you love someone without breaking yourself

When will the happiness stick around long enough for it to sink in

Why do all of my accomplishments feel like obligations

When will I feel like I am important enough to care about

Why am I used to feeling this way

How do I fix myself?