Lately, life has been heavier than usual.
There are days when I wake up already feeling tired - not physically, but emotionally. Stressed at home. Stressed with family. Stressed with friends. Stressed at work. And sometimes… stressed in the very place that should feel the safest - my relationship.
I’ve been carrying financial pressure, expectations from others, peer pressure, family responsibilities, and the constant weight of wanting to be better but feeling like I’m falling short. And I think somewhere along the way, I became tougher. Harder. Less patient. Less gentle.
And that’s what hurts me the most.
I see it now, how my stress sometimes turns into sharp words, stubborn silence, or this need to always be right. I become hard-headed. Dominant. Defensive. I react instead of listening. And at the end of the day, when everything is quiet and I’m alone with my thoughts, it hits me… I’m not treating her the way she deserves.
And she deserves the softest version of me.
My wifey.. She has been nothing but kind. She makes the effort. She respects me. She tries to understand me even when I’m difficult to understand myself. She tries to connect with the people around me, especially my Ate who just came from the PH to Dxb. That meant so much to me. More than I probably showed.
She is also fighting her own battles.. Stress at work, stress at home, and then having to deal with me on top of that. And sometimes when she shuts down or seems like she doesn’t care about my feelings, I react out of hurt instead of asking her what’s really going on inside her heart.
We both get overwhelmed. We both get tired. We both are human.
But despite all the chaos… despite the misunderstandings… despite the pride and the pressure and the noise of life - I am still longing for her. Even when we are together every day, I still long for her. I long for her softness. Her laughter. Her presence. Her understanding. Her love.
I can’t wait for the day when I can look back at this season and say, “We made it.”
When I can make it up to her not just with words, but with actions. With stability. With peace. With a calmer heart. I want to build a life where she feels secure, cherished, prioritized.
Because she is my priority.
She is not just my girlfriend.
She is my partner.
She is my safe place.
She is my family.
She is my everything.
I may not always express it perfectly. I may fail sometimes. I may let stress speak louder than love. But my heart has never left her side.
If you ever read this, my love, I want you to understand something clearly..
You are still the one I choose. Every single day.
Even on the hard days.
Especially on the hard days.
I appreciate your kindness.
I appreciate your respect.
I appreciate your patience.
I appreciate the effort you make for me and for the people I love.
I know I need to be better. And I will be. Not just for you - but for us.
We’re not perfect. We’re pressured. We’re growing. We’re learning.
And I believe in us more than I believe in my fears.
No matter how chaotic life becomes, you are still my home. 💚
