You know who does that? Crazy people!

[darthnickels]

Honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Vader and Imperial jingoism— don’t fucking lie, if you lived on Coruscant in the lap of luxury and didn’t know or care about people suffering in the Galaxy, Vader would be your #1 mascot. You’d see him like, punch a star fighter out of the air defending the Emperor and it would be fucking sweet. 

But then someone from the Imperial Court gets a dumb idea, and is like “Lord Vader do you have advice for my son, a future citizen of the Empire?” and Vader just leans in like 

“Do what you are told or sand people will kill your mother. And then I will kill you.” And he just walks away and everyone is horrified. 

[cadesama]

HAPPY EMPIRE DAY, YOUNG CITIZEN. MAY I NOT KILL YOU FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. 

[darthnickels]

Palpatine didn’t anticipate it being a problem, because Vader has no one to talk to except for him, but there comes a time when he has to be expressly forbidden from making any kind of noise with his mouth in the presence of non-Imperials when he’s recorded saying something offhand like “I will judge the Galaxy with sheets of flame, everyone unworthy will burn and only then will I be allowed to die” 

Palpatine slams his head into a coffee table for fifteen minutes after watching that holonews segment 

[lectorel]

Its even better if you subscribe to the ‘Anakin is a slave and he knows it’ head canon, because then this becomes a form of resistance/passive-aggressive retaliation. Palpatine wanted Anakin Skywalker as his apprentice? Palpatine gets Anakin Skywalker as an apprentice. Every last irritating, socially-awkward bit of him. All Anakin has to do is open his mouth, say the first thing which comes to mind, and watch his master all but whimper in despair. (Anakin’s personality was the best revenge anyone ever got on Palpatine, and Anakin knowing it? Only makes it sweeter.)

[fialleril]

Tbh I think Anakin used exactly the same forms of passive-agressive resistance with both the Jedi Council and Palpatine, so Palps can’t even claim to be surprised. He knew exactly what he was getting.

“Only then will I be allowed to die” is an especially interesting one, though, because I don’t think it ever really occurred to Palpatine, pre-Vader, just how dangerous it would be to have an Anakin with nothing left to lose. Oh, not dangerous to Palpatine, which is what he probably would have been concerned about before the fact. But dangerous to his Empire’s image, dangerous to Vader’s effectiveness, dangerous to the long-term survival of his military officers and possibly of Vader himself.

[grand-duc]

Also Anakin might be a severely depressed man who’s been swimming in a big sea of “nothing matters anymore and I don’t care” ever since ROTS but he’s still got likes and dislikes.

And being a huge PR disaster everytime he opens his mouth in public means that the number of time he’s asked/ordered to open his mouth in public decreases exponentially and ensures he will never be given a politician’s job.

So as far as he’s concerned there are very little cons.

I think with Vader, Palapatine operated under the assumption (and projection?) that all Sith Lord are ambitious. And Anakin *was* ambitious before he turned. So by all logic, turning would make him even more ambitious, right?

The thing is Anakin always wanted power because power meant safety. Power meant being able to protect your family, your men and everyone you care about. He certainly didn’t particularly want to be in charge. And Palpatine might have known that (probably knew, it would help him manipulate Anakin).

But it also meant that once Anakin had nothing left to protect, well, power was useless. And I don’t think Palapatine would have been ever able to figure that out because it’s so anathema to his own way of thinking. 

[tozierfloats]

I just CHOPPED my hair at 3 AM in the midst of a bReAkDOwN. So yeah, I'm right on schedule.

[tuagifs]

Luther + protecting Klaus

[chaotic-emo-pigeon]

Dean: (running up the stairs) Don't panic

Sam: what's in the basement, dean?

Dean: Normal, basement stuff. Hey have you seen my gun, by any chance?

Sam: No

Dean: Got it, just wanna be prepared, you know, in case of monsters outside the house, and not stuff in the basement, where everything is normal

Sam: you released the mega-goats again, didn't you

(sounds of crashing from downstairs)

Dean: nooooo

[meepmoopbeepboop17]

Source: unknown

but I’m laughing too hard

[ultimatespider]

The Fall 2019 Collection | #TommyXZendaya

[beif0ngs]

“So much hostility in such a tiny package.”

[younggayanddoingokay]

Just a fun clip of Old!Zuko being a hella competent badass. It’s so fucking funny to me that someone who is a complete mess in any social situation is just such a BOSS whenever the fate of the world is at stake

[glumshoe]

My father and I play this… game… in which we both pretend to be attempting to assassinate each other. When we serve the other food or drink, we’ll adopt the most suspicious mannerisms and wording possible, as though the food were secretly poisoned and we are eagerly waiting for them to eat it and die.

The other player pretends that they know their food is poisoned, but must feign ignorance and try to come up with subtle excuses not to eat/drink it without seeming rude or directly confronting the other about the attempted kinslaying.

Wholesome family bonding.

[glumshoe]

Last night my father brought me “a nice tall glass of ice water” and stood there watching me closely as I sipped it. I pretended to swallow, at which point he threw his head back and laughed maniacally.

While he was laughing, I spit the entire mouthful of water that I’d been holding in my mouth onto his shirt, patted my chest, and said, “Oh, dear, Father; I’m afraid this water was just too cold. I need to let it warm up. Why don’t I make us some… tea.”

[glumshoe]

Another thing we do is imply that we have set lethal traps for each other.

“Goodnight Father,” I’ll tell him (because Father with a capital F is the most sinister and threatening thing you can call your dad). “I hope you sleep well tonight. Very well. It would be a shame if something… disturbed you.“ In response, he’ll make an offhand remark about needing to Google the upper age limit for sudden infant death syndrome, or he’ll bring up my “inheritance” and the possibility that he might have worthy bastard children somewhere. 

My mother does not like our game.

[incorrectlyspn]

Castiel: Sam won’t come out of his room

Dean: Just tell him I said something

Cas: Like what?

Dean: Anything factually incorrect

Sam *arriving moments later*: Did you just say the sun is a FUCKING PLANET-

[livibis]

Late Happy New Year!

Yeah . . . I drew another comic book based on pjo meme!

[orientalld]

When the Abyss Stares Back at You

Padawan’s Choice Award goes to…

[fenix-estrafalario]

via obiwanobi

#i like to think that’s an actual joke between padawans     #they organize awards for their masters behind their backs every 2 or 3 years when they have the time     #obi wan has been winning the milf award for years     #anakin was SCANDALIZED the first time     #he was that close to yelling to stop lusting after his master force dammit     #HE WILL PROTECT HIS HONOR IF HE HAS TO AND NONE OF THEM DESERVE HIM ANYWAY     #all the other padawans of course love this     #and that’s how anakin found a giant poster of milf obi wan on his door one morning     #the sound of a dying bantha he makes when he sees it is enough to delight the padawans for YEARS     #(after that every time anakin sees any padawan innocently talking to obi wan or getting too close to him     #he makes a point of putting himself right in front of his master and being extremely obnoxious)     #one time a padawan TOUCHED obi wan’s arm CAN YOU BELIEVE     #so ofc he had to “‘lightly”“ set fire to his tunic)     #years after he asks ahsoka who won the milf award this year     #she debates telling him a few seconds before admitting that HE did     #anakin is SCANDALIZED     #‘you’re telling me obi wan DIDN’T win??? are all padawans blind now this OUTRAGEOUS’  

[grey-jedi-enters-the-game]

Reblogging again because YES TO ALL OF THIS 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[jjmk-jjmk]

Dick/Jay

fan art

[lesbiansitara-moved-deactivated]

I wish that ao3 had an option to filter warnings (and tbh certain authors) out like I will never ever want to read it and just seeing it puts me off so much that often I end up closing my browser because that content upsets me so much lmao

[darcylindbergh]

There is a way to do this but I can’t recall how to do it. it’s something you type into the box for “other filters” or something, I don’t remember. who knows?? It’s not a great option, and I don’t know if you can sort out authors that way, but it’s better than nothing if someone can reblog this with how to do it!

[fordeductions-blog]

Alrighty friends! It takes some specificity, but you can do this. Let me show you how!

So I started with going to the Sherlock (TV) section of Ao3. On the right we find this lovely section! ((I know I’m going over things you already probably know, but I figure this post may go to new Ao3 users, so bear with me.))

Underneath this, I chose sort by Kudos, because that’s a quick way to find most popular fics, for the sake of this demonstration. 

With those filters on, we end up with this being our first two results: 

As you can see, we have Nature and Nurture by earlgreytea68, and The Internet Is Not Just For Porn by cyerus. So what if I am utterly sick of seeing earlgreytea68 on my list? Let’s pretend I’ve read all their fics, or that I just don’t like her, or whatever. I want this author out. I go to this section on the right: 

In “Search within results” I type earlgreytea68 into the bar, with a minus sign in front. This gives me the following page, upon hitting the sort and filter button:

There goes earlgreytea68! But now I’ve decided that Crack is just not my thing, I’m sick of that, too, for heaven’s sake, I want something reasonable in my gay slash fanfiction about detectives that solve crimes about glowing dogs and irish megalomaniacs. Heaven forbid this get ridiculous.

Well, then I add this to my search:

Which gets rid of everything with that tag. My results are now:

Performance in a Leading Role is now my first result!

You can do this as many times as you want; the biggest problem I have is trying to filter out multi-worded tags. For example, “Secret Relationship” is hard to filter. Better to go with authors you dislike or with words like “DubCon”. 

I hope this helps! Also remember that googling site:archiveofourown.org and then adding search terms will mean google searches Ao3 for you, and sometimes that works far better. 

Good luck!

[darcylindbergh]

An excellent in-depth guide! Thank you!!

[eyesofmedusa]

omg changed my whole ao3 rarepair game

[stucky-ficrecs]

An excellent guide to filtering on AO3!

You can filter out phrases by enclosing them in quotes. For example, if ABO and Hydra Trash Party are not your things, try:

-“alpha/beta/omega dynamics” -”hydra trash party”

[possibly-an-obsession]

I have more advice!

Say, you’re in your random fandom- I went with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, since I’ve been reading Iron Man stuff recently. Tony Stark is awesome.

But anyway, you’re on the page, and you see that there are 174,774 works! That is way too many for a casual afternoon’s browsing.

And you see that the first one is Peter Parker/Tony Stark and that is not your jam. It doesn’t work for you, or it squicks you, whatever. Wouldn’t life be easier if you could browse without seeing that pairing (or whatever pairing you don’t like)? You can!

First, click on that pairing tag(You may want to open this in another tab, actually.):

and it’ll take you to the page for that pairing tag. Click this button:

and then look at the address bar! The actual page is unimportant. Copy the numbers located here:

and go back to the original search page! Down on the side, in the same place you can get rid of other tags, type -relationship_ids:”the number you just copied”

Then hit ‘sort and filter’ annnd… magic!

The fics with that pairing are gone! You can also do multiple pairings, get rid of any tags you don’t like, and sort it by date or length or kudos, or whatever.

Enjoy.

[irenkaferalkitty]

I’d just like to add that these sorts of search modifiers ALSO WORK IN GOOGLE AND MOST RESEARCH DATABASES. The more you know.

[itsmajel]

Just a quick reminder that AO3 uses Lucene as a search and index engine.

That means you can pretty much use all the Lucene Query Syntax in the “Seach within result” field.

I don’t think AO3 indexes the whole fic for searching but definitely it’s meta data. Combined with Lucenes awesome query syntax you can do pretty much every search you heart desires.

Addtional Lucene Query Syntax that has not been mentioned yet and you might find useful:

Wildcard Searches

You can use wildcard searches within single terms. For a single character wildcard search use the “?” symbol. For a multiple character wildcard search use the “*” symbol.

AND/OR

Lucene allows you to combin terms through logic operators. You’re looking for fics that are either “reunion” or “enemies to lovers”?

Just put in >“reunion” OR “enemies to lovers”< into the field

and you end up with all the stories that are either or but not both.

But wait, now you’re looking for fics that are both “reunion” and “enemies to lovers” at the same time? Now worries Lucene got you covered.

Just change it into >“"reunion” AND “enemies to lovers”“<

and you’ll get all the fics that mention both “reunion” and “enemies to lovers” somewhere in their meta data (note: it’s not just tags. It’s also title, summary …)

Boosting

You can also boost specific terms when doing a multi term search.

You can use the “^” Operator followed by a number to boost a specific term.

Say you’re interested in fics that are either “first kiss” or “bed sharing” but you’re much more interested in “bed sharing” fics and feel they are more relevant.

You can use the search >“first kiss” “bed sharing”^5<

to manipulate the order of your results in a matter that the score of every fic that contains beg sharing is multiplied by 5. Therefore all fics containing that term are given priority and shown at the top of the list.

You can also combine all of the above, target specifc fields (that’s what you did with the “relationsship_id:xxx”) and many more things.

For more info about the Lucene query syntax check out Apache’s Lucene Query doc.

[thefriendlypigeon]

^ sharing this because we all love fanfics and @itsmajel is a freaking nerd 👌

[osterfield-holland-andcompany]

i swear...king of the dorks 😂

[catchymemes]

[destiel-love-forever]

In the middle of lunch one day, everyone minding their own business in the cafeteria, a Senior guy dressed in a banana costume came in screaming. He was in clear DISTRESS. Flailing his arms and running in zig zags. He kept screaming things like “help me!” and “he’s going to get me!” && we were all SO confused until all of a sudden a damn gorilla shows up (guy in suit, of course). He beats on his chest and lets out a huge roar, the banana lets out a shriek, and then it’s ON. These two ran through our tiny cafeteria, the gorilla roaring and the banana frantically singing “I will survive.” At one point the banana saw someone with a banana peel on their table (clearly they had ate a banana for lunch) and he took the peel from them and screamed “BROOOOTTHHHERRR!” before returning to singing “I will survive” in a much more determined tone.

It ended when our school principal took the gorilla down (yeah, tackled him to the ground, if you knew our principal you’d understand… we were a school of like 300 people TOTAL and he was like all of our best friend. Dude was cool) and yelled, “This is a banana safezone young man!”

The following day, there were ‘banana safezone’ posters everywhere and we had a school assembly where our guidance counselor talked about banana rights.

I’ve never looked at a banana the same.

[dechart]

Why is my life so boring. 😔🍌

[momosansovino]

Superman Doomsday (2007): After Superman’s death, Lex engineers Superman clone, enjoys some kinky moments in the red sun room all the while yelling, “why did you leave me?" 

Reign of the Supermen (2019): After Superman’s death, Lex engineers he and Superman’s son, struggles to be a father and fights evil. “I hope Kal-El is alive.” He admits. 

If this isn’t some serious character relationship development…