So recently i've been experiencing an odd silence, friends assume is depression. I on the otherhand have no idea what it is.
This could obviously have been triggered from consuming multiple psychoactive drugs, but we're ruling that out for now.
I flashback at times (also probably because of drugs) back to life as a simple follow-through timeline, where I was provided all I needed via parents.
And this is when I notice something familiar, I had these silences prior taking self prescribed medication.
25 Shrimpton road, Haumoana. 1998.
The place where serenity holds time and the community is more of a family. A pretty fucked up, awesome family.
Mum's hanging up the washing, dad's cracking open another Carlton Cold (his favourite beer,at the time).
You can feel the sea breeze lurking through the air, the sweet smell of salt arouses the nasal passage.
Grass dry as bone, if you were lucky enough to have any. In othercases (especially the sea front houses) the lawn is still dry as a bone. But is merely dirt
with nefarious prickles, which violently embed themselves into the soles of your feet. No mercy.
A distinct sounds relays through my mind, the sound of dad opening his final beer.
Mum's inside trying to fix dinner but we seem to be lacking in food.
Meanwhile, out on the so called "lawn" My older siblings Tait and Kiera (Twins) are trying on eachothers clothes whilst cackling hysterically.
They were horrible older siblings, a violent older brother who's favourite activity was to leave bruises all up my legs and a double crossing sister
who would come off as the nice sort. But relentlessly blackmailed me, even if I followed her orders she would still find a way for mum to leave a 5 starred smack
on my upper quads.
My siblings and I rush into the house in anticipation of a meal, dinner. As we filed into the kitchen, Tait abruptly asks; "What's for dinner?"
As our guts gurgled and our mouths watering, Mum turns to Tait and with a very light whimper -but noticable- says "Go down to Dez's and pick up some chips."
And hands Tait some change. Dez's was the old fish and chip shop down the road run by a local, Haumoanas' 5 star restaurant.
As we cruised down the road the sea air settled down, the sun beating down on me in my torn singlet and old soccor shorts.
As we progress towards Dez's Tait and Kiera chat amongst themselves on the footpath as I wade through the long grass opposite the infamous Duck Crossing sign.
I stop for just a moment, not even that. Silent, I gaze into the scenery. Skyscaper-like Eucalyptus tree's rock back and forth as if arm and arm with eachother.
Half copper leaves flutter from a canopy of disbelief, I can't even see that far. A stream flows from the pond over the road which has found its way to the otherside
via the underground. Ducks merely float ontop of the flowing current, not a care in the world. Absolute serenity, imagine being in state of mind of a duck. You wouldn't
think humans could do that much nothing at once. A loud quack comes from my left, a Drake and his beloved are by my side investigating every movement I make.
The feel of being watched overwhelms me, I am to self concious for this world. Constantly judged, thoughts towards another has no risk. It's when thoughts are released
that you could be in harms way.
Barely around the next bend is our destination, a glint shoots off of the spouting and blares into our vision. Without a second to think about it Tait sprints towards Dez's, shoulders dipped, head forward. Instincts have kicked in, prey is just ahead. Sudden realization takes a hold of me and I make a sorry attempt to catch up to my older brother, he must have more predatorial drive than I do. That would explain how it is I that has the bruises.
Over yonder, passed the sunset and bridging the skyline. A moment of peace, tranquility. Across the road, can it be? We have reached our hunger driven destination.
Coming near the roadside I see Tait on the corner, shoulders slouched with his head between his legs replenishing his tired lungs with our life force.I feebly sit
next to him with legs of jelly, calves are burning.
We watch for Kiera as she slowly approaches, milk chocolate hair whipping back and forth as if being exorsized. She approaches the curb and we regroup, I slowly but
surely regain stability and find myself walking again. Tait leads the way over the scorching ashphalt and sizzling tar as if hopping over stepping stones surrounded
by lava.
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