Tyler was the kind of gay twink who walked into every room like it was a runway. Flirty, sarcastic, always dressed in something cropped, sheer, or way too expensive for his salary at the HR office. He was the first to dance at any party and the last to leave, often with glitter still on his collarbones and a vodka cranberry in one hand. Tonight was no different â except for the girl he accidentally bumped into.
"Ugh, careful, babe," he said with a fake laugh as her drink splashed across her hoodie. She wasnât cute, not really, just nerdy and Middle Eastern, with glasses and a serious expression. âMaybe donât wear Walmart to a bar next time?â
Her name was Basma, but he didnât care to learn it. He just laughed with his friends, tossing his bleached bangs and sipping his drink. She didnât yell, didnât throw her drink back. She just smiled faintly.
âI hope one day you get to experience how others see you,â she murmured, brushing her wet sleeve and walking off. He rolled his eyes.
âOkay, mom,â he snorted, turning back to the beat and lights.
He danced hard. Harder than usual. Something in him felt hot. Not sexy hot â fever hot. His skin prickled with a weird sweat. He blamed the vodka, the flashing lights, the DJâs mediocre remix of âToxic.â But when he stumbled to the bathroom, the mirror told a different story.
His jaw was wider. Not chiseled â chunkier, somehow. There were shadows along his cheeks he didnât recognize, and his smooth chest under his sheer crop top looked⌠darker? His skin was tanner. And he stank. Like unwashed armpit and cheap weed.
âWhat is this smell?â he gagged, sniffing himself.
He lifted an arm and yelped. His once-smooth underarm now sprouted a dense patch of black, curly hair â already wet with sweat. His crop top clung to him, the glittery fabric stretched tighter over shoulders that looked subtly broader. His nails, once polished, looked uneven and⌠bitten?
He stumbled backward out of the bathroom and into the hallway, woozy. His body felt off â like the center of his weight had shifted forward. He reached for his phone in his tiny faux Prada purse but it was gone. In its place? A battered Galaxy with a cracked screen and a fake gold case. Arabic script flashed on the lock screen.
âWhat the fuck?â he muttered, the words slurring.
He gasped. His voice â thicker. His tongue felt heavy, and the vowels were wrong. Everything was dipping, gravelly, like he was imitating a bad Borat accent. âWhat the fahhk?â he said again, stumbling into the bar.
His friends were gone. Or maybe⌠he didnât recognize anyone?
He wandered to the back, bumping into someone. A girl with huge fake lashes and a vape tucked in her bra giggled.
âSorry,â he muttered, but it came out slow and sleazy. âAyy... my bad, sexy. You good?â
âDid I just say that?â
But his eyes drifted to her cleavage, lingering. He could feel himself smirking, his hand twitching to grope or slap something. He wanted to hit on her. Hard.
His face itched â his beard was coming in. Dark stubble, scratchy and uneven, prickled his jaw and upper lip. His skin now gleamed with sweat and oil, the pleasant clean scent of his body mist gone, replaced with something musky and sharp, like days-old sweat and too much cheap cologne.
He bolted toward the exit, tripping over his suddenly sagging jeans. His legs were hairier. Thick calves peeked out from under his pants â darker, dusted with black hair. His formerly shaved, toned twink thighs were now muscled but sloppy. He waddled slightly. His gait was all wrong â a wide, slow, strutting walk. His shoes, once pristine white Reeboks, were now knock-off Yeezys covered in grime.
He ducked into the alley, panting. His breath reeked of stale cigarettes. And he was horny. Not flirty or playful â grossly, leeringly horny. He felt his cock stiffen, aching in a pair of stained boxer-briefs that had somehow replaced his stylish underwear.
Then he burped. Loud. Wet. Disgusting.
âFuckinâ hell,â he muttered, scratching his belly. His hand disappeared under his increasingly tight fake Versace hoodie â fingers idly scratching a trail of wiry black hair across a slightly soft, tan stomach. âNeed beer⌠need to fuck⌠fuckinâ cock is killinâ me, wallah.â
He tried to say what the hell is happening to me, but it came out: âBro, I feel fuckinâ mashup, man. I need⌠fuckinâ kebab, bro. Anâ a girl witâ big fuckinâ tiddies, wallahi.â
His accent was thick. He couldnât speak properly. He tried again: This isnât me! Iâm gay! Iâmâ but the words turned to slurred slang: âNah bro, Iâm no faggot. I fuck bitches, ya feel me? Ainât into that man shit, get outta here, bro.â
He slapped his own face. Tears welled in his eyes. But his fingers were too rough, the nails grimy. A crust of something â beer? sauce? dried sweat? â clung to the edge of his sleeve. He reeked.
He looked down. His cock was huge now, a thick slab of meat pressed against the front of his boxer-briefs. Veiny. Hairy. Angry.
âFuckkk,â he groaned, squeezing it through his pants.
He fumbled in his pocket and found a phone number scrawled on a napkin â Layla, Big Tits, Call Me đ
He smirked, like it was the funniest thing in the world.
And as he turned back to the bar, his name fully gone, his memories dulled, replaced with foggy nights, cheap clubs, broken English, and sleazy pickup lines, only a faint flicker of Tyler remained â deep down inside the mind of Tariq.
âEy yo, who got a fuckinâ lighter?â he called, scratching his chest. âI needa fuckinâ blaze before I smash dis bird, yâknow what Iâm sayinâ?â
He didn't even hear the echo of his old voice anymore.
Just bass. Breasts. Booze. Bros.
The sunlight hits him like a fuckinâ hammer.
Tariq groans, rubbing his face with a crusty palm. His mouth tastes like ash and stale beer. One of his socks is still on. The other? No clue. Thereâs a kebab box stuck to his bare chest. Grease stains streak his knockoff hoodie. He doesnât know what day it is, but he doesnât care.
âFuuuuuck,â he drawls, scratching his balls under the stained waistband of his boxer-briefs. âProper fuckinâ mad night, innit?â
He stands up from the broken futon â which he now thinks is a bed â and stretches, his hairy, lightly muscled torso slick with morning sweat. He doesnât remember how he got home. He doesnât remember where home is. But the place reeks of weed and cheap cologne, and that feels right. There are vape cartridges and empty Stella cans littered across the floor. A single poster of a pornstar with a camel toe hangs crooked over the peeling paint.
His eyes skim past it without judgment. Just hunger.
Thereâs a knock on the door.
âBrooo,â comes the voice on the other side. âYou still alive, ya fuckinâ animal?â
Tariq scratches his chest, opens the door in nothing but his briefs, and lets out a lazy, sleazy grin. The guy on the other side â some sweaty, red-eyed lad in a fake puffer â slaps his shoulder.
âYou look rough, bruv.â
âFuckinâ shagged this bird behind the bins, swear to god,â Tariq mutters, his accent now fully thick, words chewed through the back of his throat like he barely knows how to form them anymore. âLike⌠fat arse, tits like fuckinâ water balloons, fam. Proper head game, you get me?â
He lights a cigarette and exhales with a grin, yellowed teeth on full display.
Thereâs no mirror in the flat, but if there were, he wouldnât even notice the difference now. The pale, polished skin? Gone. His face is darker now, a dusky brown with uneven stubble etched into the jaw like itâs been there since birth. His nose is wider, crooked slightly, his lips chapped and puffier. His eyebrows are too thick. His eyes? Bloodshot, but filled with smug, greasy confidence.
âOi, lemme chuck some fuckinâ joggers on,â he says, walking to the corner of the room and picking up a pair from the floor. Theyâre inside out, covered in something crusty. He doesnât care. No underwear. Just slides them on commando-style, his cock swinging loose.
He doesnât even remember being gay. He couldnât, even if he tried.
Once, Tyler wouldâve recoiled at the thought of this room, this body, this stench. But now? It soothes him. Thereâs no pressure here. No expectations. Just heat. Sex. Smoke. Dumb jokes and greasy fingers tapping on a cracked phone screen filled with saved TikToks of girls twerking in club bathrooms.
âCheck dis, bruv,â he says, chuckling as he shows his mate a video of some drunk girl riding a mechanical bull. âLook at âer tits flyinâ, bro! Swear down, Iâd bust inside before she even looked at me, wallah!â
His laugh is ugly. Loud. Too open-mouthed. No control. His gut jiggles a bit when he does it â the soft muscle of someone who drinks too much but still fights guys outside bars.
His mate laughs too, slapping his back.
âOi, donât you have, like, a job or some shit?â
âMan said job,â he snorts. âAinât got time for that shit. I sell some vapes. Got a cousin in Barking. Iâm chillinâ, fam.â
He lights a second cigarette off the first. Doesnât notice the ash falling onto his crotch.
The one from last night. Or the one before? He doesnât really remember. But the profile pic shows cleavage and thatâs enough.
âYo baby girl, what you sayinâ?â he says as he answers the phone, his voice instantly dropping into a low, sexual tone that wouldâve made Tylerâs skin crawl. âYou tryinâ to link again? I got that hash you like... and the tongue game, innit.â
He winks at his reflection in the dark window. He looks like a fuckinâ mess. Hair wild, eyes lazy, stains on his pants, smoke in the air. And all he feels is pride.
âIâm tellinâ you, bro,â he says after hanging up, slapping his bare belly. âShe wants this dick again. Told her last time Iâd give her a son, innit. Like, real shit. Gonna nut inside that bruv.â
His mate hands him a cheap plastic bottle of whiskey. Tariq takes a long swig, wipes his mouth on the back of his sleeve, and belches loud enough to wake the neighborâs dog.
Thereâs nothing left of Tyler.
No memory of brunches. Of friends. Of Grindr dates or dance classes or Spotify playlists. Just the pounding bass of shisha lounges, vape smoke, warm pussy, and cheap liquor.
âFuckinâ... this is the life, fam,â Tariq mutters, scratching his balls again and adjusting his crotch. âAinât nothinâ better than tits, weed, and a cold fuckinâ beer.â
He doesnât hear the faint echo of Tylerâs voice anymore. The last bit of it was drowned in bong water and sprayed across Laylaâs tits the night before.
This isnât a curse anymore.
Tariq. Proper fuckinâ roadman. Sleazy, stupid, and fuckinâ lovinâ it.