Hi, I'm Xiao/burningrqs. this post is going to be long. Posting this from a burner so that it doesn't go down the drain when we deactivate.
But essentially, this is an apology to the radqueer community for multiple different things. I'm going to do my best to type this out as well as possible, and I apologize if I miss anything or word things poorly. I am going to explain myself to the best of my abilities, but please keep in mind that my explanations do not excuse my actions by any means.
Post under the cut.
for those who don't want to read it though, TL;DR: I was a complete asshole and I'm genuinely very sorry about it.
So, I want to start off by apologizing in general for the "burning radqueers" thing. Not only was it just not funny, but it was also really weird. I know damn well that if I saw someone pop up with a "burningmogais" blog or something, I would be pissed. So I don't know what made me think that running burningradqueers was a good idea in any sense.
My rude and dehumanizing comments did not help. Regardless of how I view people, what disorders I have, or how symptoms present themselves, it was disgusting of me to act as though I can't be held accountable for my cruelty towards others.
The targeted posts were even worse, and allowing people to just pick a random blog to "burn" was teetering on harassment. It put the user in front of so many people who clearly did not have good intentions towards them, and inherently put the user being "burnt" in danger. I wish I noticed that fact sooner. Even if I disagreed with people or didn't like them for whatever reason, I still should not have felt as though I had the right to post stuff like that.
Adding onto that, I should have never used my ASPD as an excuse for anything. I tend to get defensive when I feel insulted, which is what happened, and I decided to bite back despite being in the wrong. I acted impulsively and out of pure anger, and then tried to defend it, which I shouldn't have. When saying the kinds of things I did, I am open to criticism whether I like that fact or not, and trying to act as though I am immune to that criticism because of a disorder was disgusting on my part.
Another thing, somewhat on a similar note, is that an apology is owed for my hostility in general. Every time it was even lightly suggested I was wrong, I seemed to lash out and get angry. This really just comes down to me needing to learn to admit my wrongs. I should not have made my inability to understand my wrongdoings anyone else's problem.
Then there's also the things I said when I lashed out before deciding to drop burningradqueers entirely. I don't fully remember all of what I said as the event happened during an episode (this does not excuse my words at all by the way. regardless of my state at the time, what I said wasn't okay and should not be excused) and the posts have since been deleted. But, I do remember at one point making harassment out to be a competition of sorts when someone was simply trying to calmly explain to my why the namedropping was not a good move. I can't for the life of me remember why I did that, but I am very sorry about it. A lot of people in the radqueer community have been harassed (and likely do still get harassed constantly), and for me to act like I am the only victim of harassment was wrong on multiple levels.
I'm sure there was a lot of bad stuff I said during that episode, but as I said, I do not remember most of it. I'm sorry that I can't apologize for the specific things I said, but I am apologizing for the situation as a whole.
The entire thing started over me not being able to handle much deserved criticism, and I stood "my ground" despite having absolutely no ground to stand on.
I started burningradqueers over baseless hatred. I didn't know why I was supposed to hate radqueers, or what I was even really hating. I joined the anti community thinking that it is much easier to just move with the pack and hate what everyone else seems to hate, but hatred really isn't that easy. It's exhausting. And realizing how much the anti community really wouldn't want me if I was honest about things made me realize that. Realizing that there are so many antis who would rather see us suffer forever due to dysphoria than see us live happily after getting amputations was rough, and honestly kinda gave me a taste of what radqueers have to deal with every single day, and it felt horrible.
Without realizing it, I managed to do so much damage to a community full of people who deal with exactly the same things I do, a community that is mostly traumatized and mentally ill people who are just trying to get by. Not even just that, but genuinely just people trying to exist and be honest about themselves.
It is not my place to dictate what is and isn't valid in terms of someone's personal identity, and even more, it's not okay for me to treat a whole community like garbage just because I didn't understand it.
Again, I do not want my actions to be excused. I treated people horribly and was a total dick, but I hope that me apologizing can at least make some of you feel better about how I behaved.
Coined by 👑 of our system, a revamp/recoining of Joycore from our old host, done as a blankqueer label 💛✨
Joyqueer is a blankqueer label that is derived from / a sublabel of Radqueer. You do not have to be RQ to be JQ but they share a lot of beliefs ! They are cousins ☆
Joyqueer aims for radical inclusion and radical kindness. It's about doing whatever you want forever, so long as it makes you and others happy 💛 It promotes self-kindness, kindness to others (your neighbors!), love (except by those who are loveless!), friendliness, etc etc! It is extremely hedonistic in its philosophy.
Joyqueer is inherently inclusive of :
LGBTQ+ / MOGAI / LIOM identities
Queerness & deviancy of all forms, whatever that means for you!
All fetishes, kinks, and paraphilias
All transidentities / transX
Alterhumanity & other nonhumanity (ie otherkin, furries, those with delusion-based identities, KFF, etc)
Youth liberation
All neurodivergencies & disorders (including MUDs)
Mad & disabled pride
All system types & origins (including tulpamancy)
...and is consang safe, age regressor safe, & pro-fiction!
Joyqueer is anti-bigotry, anti-harassment, anti-callout culture and anti-bullying. It is not anti any way of existing. It believes in harm reduction, not forced recovery, and believes people should choose their own way of coping / recovering / reducing harm, even if nonconventional or strange!
Joyqueer believes in risk-aware informed consent and discourages nonconsensual abuse. It has no inherent contact stance, but is pro transid transition! For transharmful/transhateful identities, it encourages roleplay and other outlets rather than direct transition, as it would not bring joy to others.
Anyone can use Joyqueer if they believe in it! The only rule is that you adopt The Joyqueer Way of no harassing people/involvement in callouts etc, and you take people in good faith. JQ does not like discourse and arguments, only education and respectful discussion!
There is no Joyqueer that is exclusionary! Even if you do not agree or understand, you can be kind! Joyqueer inclusionism is based on neutrality in this way. For example, you can not understand certain parts of what Joyqueer includes (transid, consang etc), but so long as you are not anti-these things or are bigoted, you can use Joyqueer!
☆☆☆
Joyfreak is a JQ subterm that focuses on the parts of us that society deems freakish! Paraphilias, kink, madpride, etc. Very similar to JQ already, but more precise in it's meaning besides "just joy"! There's no flag (yet?!), just a different word to give distinction to those who want it!
☆☆☆
For emoji codes, if not taken, I was thinking ⛅🌈? Lmk if anyones used that yet but eeeek I think it's cute :3 ~👑
alt flags under cut!
Flag without smileyface, and then blocked & smeared flags with and without smiley :]
Okay to reblog/like even if you're on my DNI. I'm putting this on my disability blog because it relates to accessibility.
Let's talk about inaccessibility in the MOGAI/LIOM/Queer/LGBTQIA+ community online. Especially if you're a coiner, flag maker, or whatever.
Do you know how privileged it is to be able to not make any, and I mean ANY, of your posts accessible because you are arrogant about people being forced out of the community because of you? Specifically people who are visually impaired in any way which are forced out of the community because you're lack of willingness to be accessible?
There are many, MANY resources available to you to make your posts accessible. You absolutely can make your posts accessible. YOU, yes YOU, can absolutely fucking make YOUR POSTS accessible. Just fucking ask. Reach out.
You can draft your posts, you can look further into communities to make your post accessible before posting, you can save spoons to make your post accessible or wait until you have spoons to make them accessible, and you can look for others to create descriptions/plain text FOR YOUR POSTS.
At this point, there is no excuse to have none of your posts be accessible. "I don't have spoons," but making flags and counting terms also requires spoons. You aren't sneaky with not wanting to be accessible and putting in the work to do so. Oh, and we shouldn't have to be fucking BEGGING and ASKING for accessibility. BEING ACCESSIBLE SHOULD BE STANDARD.
[PT: Being accessible should be standard. End]
So you know what? Start calling people out on this ableist, arrogant behavior. And you know what else? It is ableist if you do not make no attempt to be accessible. Simply because, you have no reason to not be. If your blog shows absolutely NO ATTEMPT at being accessible, YOU need to change. Doesn't matter if it, 'ruins your aesthetic,' neither.
Start being accessible, or continue to have no care whatsoever for people who require that accessibility on your posts. Show no care and sympathy for people who are forced out of the community because of you.
In dishonor of the "translating RadQueers" blog, and because the holiday spirit has me feeling forgiving...
Please feel free to tag me in comments or reblogs of posts with heavy typing quirks, hard to read interaction banners, or anything similar, and I will try my best to translate it for any of you!
permatired is a label for anyone who is permanently tired! could be used as/for a transID or any other reason! can also be used as an alternative to permasleepy!
a blankqueer label inspired by antis calling us "PRATs"! stands for Predatory Racist Ableist Transphobic, but i've heard radqueers change it to Pretty Radical And Terrific. i like to think Pedo Radqueer Attack Tank- like we have a huge tank or sum that sounds cool.
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
izzy806
gummygunk
vaporwave
areudirty
jbbartram-illu
